Day Three: Shop 'til You Drop in Key West!
Okay all this lovey-dovey, touchy-feely, kissy-kissy stuff is starting to freak me out. I mean I shouldn't be complaining because this is what a real boyfriend should be like. Did I say real? I meant proper, Stan's obviously my real boyfriend!
I slumped on my bunk, Cartman was above me with Butters playing cards. I'm pretty sure that manipulating asshole forced him to play poker, so he could earn some quick cash before we go shopping. I'm kind of excited for Key West but I'm also annoyed. Stan's going to follow me like a lackey, carry my bags, praise me repeatedly- wait? Why am I complaining again?
"Hey, babe, I love you." Stan said as if on cue as he walked over to the group of boys in the kitchen area.
"Wait, why do you randomly tell me you love me?" I asked quizzically. Yeah, I'm probably sending him some mixed messages but he's confusing me! Last week he was showing signs that he wasn't interested or even remotely attracted to me anymore, now all of a sudden he's head-over-heels in love again! Makes no sense.
He opened the fridge and looked over at me, "Because I do."
"But you never just tell me you love me."
Craig listened in and quirked a brow but Stan didn't notice, he just shrugged, "Stop interrogating me, it's not a crime to say you love your girlfriend." he grinned stupidly and walked over to Craig and his gang.
That's another thing he doesn't refer to me as 'Wends' or even 'Wendy' anymore he keeps saying 'my girlfriend' like I'm not human enough to have a real name!
"Hey, Wendy, having boy troubles?" questioned Cartman as he hung from the top of the bunk. I didn't even notice he wasn't sitting with Butters anymore, actually I'm surprised I didn't notice that Bebe managed to convince Butters to let her play with his hair. I think she's even putting make up on the boy- that's going to turn Kenny on big time. "Are you gonna answer me, hoe?"
I shook myself out of my gaze and returned my attention to the jerk in front of me, "Don't call me that!"
"I'm just trying to start a conversation but your being a rude bitch and won't answer me." he said casually. Then before I could register what he was doing, he was sitting on my bed with me.
I crossed my arms and shot him a glare, "Don't try helping me with my problems, you have plenty of problems of your own!"
"Is 'don't' the only word you know? Seriouslah, I'm trying to be sincere and care about your gay ass problems but your just continuing to be your usual bitchy self." I growled and he just leaned back and gave me a smirk.
"Don't-" I stopped, I'm not a negative person. "I mean… I don't-" I stopped again and grunted, "Cartman I'm not letting you help me with my issues because I do not have any."
He quirked a brow and rubbed his chin, he's such an obnoxious asshole! "I don't believe you."
"Well you seriously should." I spat angrily.
"Seriouslah?"
"Cartman, fuck off." Stan said as he sat beside me and hugged me closer to him, I didn't respond much to the action, "Don't piss off my girlfriend."
"Your girlfriend has a name. I thought I was the sexist bastard?" he shrugged and got off my bed.
"Well that was a great weight lifted off your poor mattress." Stan chuckled at his own joke and kissed my forehead. I instantly shoved him. Cartman was right, Stan is showing me off like some prize, I'm a women not a trophy!
"Stan, I do have a name." I stated sternly.
"I know, Wendy. It's a beautiful name but I just want everyone to know that you are my girlfriend." he smiled charmingly and leaned in for a kissed which I leaned away from repulsed.
"Well everyone already knows, get over yourself!" I rolled my eyes angrily and got off the bed. I don't have to pee or anything but I stormed to the bathroom and shut the door with a bang. That must've got my point across.
"Nice going, assfucker." I heard Kenny state from inside the bathroom and I can already picture his stupid smug grin to go along with it.
After about two minutes of glaring at my reflection I heard Christophe announce our arrival, "'ere we are."
I opened the bathroom door and didn't make any eye contact or any direct contact with Stan at all. As I passed by I did notice Kenny and Craig give Stan that same look that telepathically said, 'You fucked up.'
As we got on the bus Kenny fell face plant to the ground, "Walk much, dumbfuck?" Kyle asked with a smug ass grin. Why are guys such assholes?
Kenny jumped up and wiped dust off his shirt, "Shut up, I totally went Kung Fu on the ground." Wow Kenny! What a smart comeback! Note the sarcasm.
"The way I see it, gravity knocked you out." Kyle responded still grinning stupidly. When someone falls and hurts themselves it's not funny!
"We win some, we lose some."
Within a millisecond everyone split up, well more than we did yesterday. Bebe instantly interlocked her hands with Butters and Clyde and Kenny trotted behind like two obedient dogs. Craig looked at Tweek and Token and gestured towards a coffee shop, Tweek obviously didn't object. Kyle and Christophe just disappeared, that's kind of suspicious maybe Kyle likes-
"So, which group are you joining for the day? Want to tag along with the douche and spaz like the black asshole or do you want to join Bebe's obnoxious parade of 'cuteness'? Your choice." I jumped a little at first because I didn't notice Cartman walk up beside me but for some reason I didn't tell him to go fuck himself.
"What about Kyle and Christophe, I could join them." I stated. For some reason I feel like any conversation with Cartman has to be some argument or debate.
"The Jew and the French kid? Something tells me they don't want you tagging along."
"Ugh, are you suggesting that I'm bad company?" I shot daggers at him but he didn't glare back he just shrugged like some laidback surfer kid, too bad he doesn't have the surfer body…that would be nice. Whoa, talk about girl hormones taking over!
"I'm standing with you aren't I?"
"Yeah but-"
"So I must enjoy your company. Even if you are a dumb hoe." he started walking towards Bebe's group, like he knew I was going to choose them.
I didn't follow instantly but I couldn't fight it, I trotted up beside him and actually walked with him, "Why aren't you walking with one or your actual friends."
"One of my 'actual' friends is currently following his girlfriend but she's ignoring him leaving him feeling like an abandoned puppy." he glanced behind him and I did the same. Stan was practically staring me down, he looked hurt but for some odd reason I just didn't care.
"Whatever."
"Harsh."
"Like you should be talking!" I instantly went into defense mode. He has no right to make me feel bad about fighting with Stan! Actually he kind of caused this fight because he pointed out the fact that Stan didn't call me by my name. "You're the reason we're fighting, jerk off!"
"Maybe I'm trying to break you up." I looked at him in complete shock, I couldn't think of any verbal response, so I just stood their gaping at him like I was in some trance. He just winked and continued to walk as I was glued to my current spot. Like some fucking statue.
"Hey, Wendy, I just want to forget this fight!" Stan said shyly as he walked up to me, "I didn't mean to repeatedly call you my girlfriend, I just don't see how it's a big deal?"
Honestly I don't think I was even registering what Stan was talking about, it was just a jumble of words. Is he even making coherent sentences? I shook out of my lifeless gaze and before I could respond Bebe shouted, "Oh my fucking god! Wendy, come look at these dresses, sooooooo cute!"
"Sooooo not." I turned and noticed Craig's little trio was reunited with us. Why am I so out of it today? Get back in the game, Wendy!
Bebe dragged me over to a little Shoppe and started holding flowery dresses up to me, "You'd look so good in this one!"
Normally I would be giggling and jumping in joy but I can't think about shopping, I have serious boy drama! Stan is being a sexist jerk that won't treat me with equal respect and Cartman just came on to me! I'm having a mental breakdown!
"Bebe, forget the dresses-"
"Ah! Don't ever deny the dresses!" she fake gasped and giggled.
"Bebe, I have like boy trouble." I whispered.
"Maybe I can help?" Kenny put his arm around me.
"Yeah 'cause you've been in tons of stable relationships." I scoffed.
"Chill, babe. What's up?" Bebe said calmly as she rested a hand on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile.
"Bebe! The Mexican fishermen I was talking about!" shouted Clyde as he jumped up and down like a two year old and waved frantically at some decked out fishermen.
I rolled my eyes, "Anyways- Bebe!"
"Ah!" yup I lost her. It scares me how stupid she can be. I guess we kind of balance each other out and all but I want someone to listen to me. I grunted but nobody cared. Stan was talking to Craig as they looked at some shells. Token and Tweek were laughing about some stupid graphic tee-shirts. Clyde and Bebe were chasing some Mexican fishermen. Kenny was flirting obsessively with Butters. And there's no sign of Kyle and Christophe.
Without a second thought I just walked down the street leaving everyone alone. Eventually I'll meet up with them again but right now I need to think. I entered a little café and sat down by myself.
Okay time to process all the information. Not just about me but about everyone. I know there's this whole pact and stuff but for some reason I feel like it's going to backfire, everyone's already claimed their 'summer sweetheart' and I feel like nobody besides Bebe and Kenny would be willing to ruin the summer romance. Then again Bebe and Clyde are pretty tight and Kenny has a serious addiction to Butters.
I leaned on my palm and continued to read the menu, "Can I get ya any-thang?" asked the southern waitress.
"I'll have a salad, no dressing."
"Well I was gonna pop in and say 'make that two' but I'd prefer a bacon cheeseburger with everything on it." Cartman pulled out the seat and sat on in, as if I welcomed him to join me.
The lady didn't think twice and wrote down the order, "Comin' right up!"
"Your not fat. You can eat more than a pathetic salad. Or at least add some fucking dressing." He tied the napkin around his neck like a bib.
"I kind of want to be alone." I said bitterly.
"To mope?" he repeated with a bored expression, "Your starting to get pathetic."
"Your starting to piss me off!" I crossed my arms and sat up confidently in my chair.
"Let's skip the fight. Just talk to me, I'm obviously the only one willing to listen to you bitch about your problems." he grinned, put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his palm, "Go on, speak, slut."
I grinded my teeth for a minute but I really want to talk to someone. I know he isn't the best person for advice and he definitely isn't the best listener but I think I'm desperate for some attention. Not Bebe attention but like one on one attention. "Promise to keep everything I say between us?" I asked gently, almost whispering.
Without hesitation, "Yeah sure, now start talking."
"I know your lying but I really am so confused. I mean you've been friends with Stan for like ever, longer than I've been dating him, so like why is he so confusing?" I moaned and laid my head on my arms.
"How is he confusing? I mean I know he's an ass but he's pretty simple."
"Well then how come up until today he's been ignoring me and losing interest. Day by day I watch him grow further apart from me but then all of a sudden he loves me more than anything else? It's uncharacteristic."
The waitress put my salad down in front of me and Cartman's sandwich. He nodded at me and waited for her to leave, "Well, Stan is a faggot. An in denial, closeted faggot. But he wants to keep that a secret, so he's using you as his cover."
"He's using me?" I muttered. I shouldn't believe Cartman but…but…I'm so angry! My hands clenched into fists and I stood up abruptly, "That asshole!"
Everyone stared at me and Cartman just smiled, "You can say that again."
"I'm not some toy of his affection! I'm a person with feelings, I don't want them to be crushed because he wants to play a stupid game." I stormed out of the restaurant and Cartman followed closely behind. "It's Kyle isn't it?"
"That would be my first guess but I haven't collected all the evidence and-"
"That stupid Jew! I knew it was him, he's a man-stealer, a boyfriend-taker, a homewrecking whore!" I cut him off abruptly and I was gaining the attention of many bystanders, all of which thought my outburst was rather entertaining.
"Whoa, calm down!" Cartman said with a snide chuckle.
"No! Don't ever piss off a hormonal girl!" I paused and started to scan the streets for that stupid boyfriend of mine, soon to be ex. "Especially a teenage girl!"
"Well it's definitely someone's time of the month." Cartman rolled his eyes as he struggled to keep up with my pace.
"Fuck off!" can't even think of a comeback. "I'm breaking up with that fucking faggot."
He grabbed my wrist, "Don't go punching Stan yet. You can't just call him out, I mean I can because nobody takes it seriously but if you say it your just gonna cause drama."
"Isn't that entertaining for you?" Again, Cartman has absolutely no control over my personal decisions and he has no right to think his plans of working situations out are better than mine. Mine are well thought out, his are just feeble and inadequate!
"Hey I might be pretty cruel but I have to live on that bus and I don't want to hear Stan's faggy whining all day and night."
"So what do I do?" I crossed my arms again and glared at him.
"Forget about it, we all made a pact remember. Have fun, flirt with Stan but don't let him hold you back." Cartman winked again and my stomach fluttered. I think I feel sick. Maybe the salad was bad…can salad even be bad?
"I can't just relax and pretend I'm not upset."
"Well maybe you'll have a realilization that your being a buzz kill. Nobody wants to talk to a sissy that can't stop complaining about pointless shit. So shut up already."
"I'm not a sissy." I poked his chest harshly, trying to set my point in stone. Without even noticing I stepped extremely close to him, probably my own subliminal way to be intimidating.
"Really? Then be daring, bold, adventurous. Don't be whiny, moany and boring." he stepped closer than we already were and nudged my chin gently, "Don't let your boyfriend control the amount of fun you have on this trip... I'm seriouslah."
"Wendy! Cartman!" Token shouted as the rest of the group approached us, "Let's go to the bonfire!"
"Bonfire?" I repeated confused and uncomfortable. Cartman had stepped away from me and looked just as confused as me.
"Yeah, let's go!" said Clyde in anticipation.
The sky grew darker by the minute and we've spent a great deal of our time at this small bonfire. I enjoyed it though, we've just been goofing around and playing truth or dare. Childish? Yes. Fun? Yes! "So Wendy truth or dare?" asked Craig as he leaned back into the soft sand.
I thought for a moment, "Truth."
"Boring!" everyone echoed and Kenny through a plastic cup at me.
I just chuckled. Cartman was right, just have fun. Wow never thought I'd say Cartman was right. "I'm all out of idea's for truths…" Craig moaned.
"D-do a dare!" Butters smiled brightly.
I shrugged, "Fine, dare."
"Alrighty…I'm gonna give you the most fucked up dare I can think of." Clyde rubbed his chin
"Bring it, pretty boy." I leaned foreword with a proud grin.
"Swap spit with Cartman." said Kenny out of nowhere.
"Dude!" shouted Stan and he put his arm around me protectively. I couldn't help but nudge it off.
"That's a good one. Pretty sick." said Craig and he gestured to Cartman. Cartman didn't even look at him or yell in anger at the direct insult, he just looked at me.
"Okay." I said and turned to Cartman, before he could respond I grabbed him and pulled him into a fierce kiss. I mean it, it was fierce! Our teeth clashed together, lips possibly bruising from the force, eventually our tongues wrestled for dominance and we threw each other apart for breath.
As we panted everyone just stared at us, "Well that- was…interesting." Kenny and Bebe gave each other weird looks.
"Just being daring. Having fun."
Since when is kissing Cartman fun? hmm...
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