Day Five Part 2- Clubbin' May Not End So Well…

"I'm drunk."

"As am I."

I shook my head, how could a great night turn into a painful memory? Okay, fine it really…wasn't all that painful. No, I'm lying. It was horrible and I hated every moment of it! I did. I seriously hated it, I was drunk.

"Come on, losers. Let's go to some of the craziest clubs in New York!" Bebe shouted from the bathroom. She was hookering herself up.

"Well maybe when your done painting your face we'll leave." I said as I threw some gel in my hair. No, not the guido way but a subtle spike. It's gotta look natural not stupid.

Bebe stepped out wearing three inch heels, a tight black halter dress, curly hair and heavy make up. "Just for that, your gonna be the one holding my purse all night."

"Sorry but I'll probably be holding Wendy's all night." I smiled at my girlfriend but she just scoffed. Alright so when I don't give her attention she's a clingy bitch that follows me around constantly but when I do go ga-ga all over her she pushes me away? Does that make any sense? No, no it doesn't.

"I don't need you. Cartman can hold my purse, right?" she asked in a stern tone almost like he had to. Which was just generally weird because why would Cartman hold her purse? I'm not the only one confused everyone else is staring at them bewildered.

Cartman looked around almost nervously? I guess. Anyways he laughed cruelly, "What do I look like your pack mule? Stupid hoe, you can hold my shit."

"Dude." I said flatly. Not entirely shocked but just knowingly disappointed with his response. Her eyes widened and I could practically see the steam coming from her ears. She gets mad pretty easily but what pisses her off the most is when she doesn't get her way. Does nobody remember Miss. Ellen? I ask myself way to many questions.

"You're an asshole!" fist were instantly formed and I swear she's gonna punch someone tonight.

"I'll hold your purse." Token said calmly, not really attempting to be a suave gentlemen like he usual is when he picks up chicks but instead just wanting to shut her up. I've been in that situation before.

"What is she Miss. Daisy?" asked Kenny with a smug smile.

Bebe giggled, "Shut up! I'll hold your hair when we end up in the bathroom, Wends."

"Oh you always have my back." Wendy giggled along with her super best friend. I really wish I could do that with mine but I haven't talked to him since that night.

"We're going to regret it!" he pulled me away trying not to.

I kissed him in the middle of the crowd, no one even noticing the gay scene, "I want you though."

I hate the memory so much but I'm the one that made him do it. I shouldn't be the one avoiding the situation if anything he should be the one!

I twitched in unison with Tweek, "Let's go!" he smiled with anticipation. Yes surprisingly the paranoid spaz enjoys clubbin' more than anyone else on the bus. Currently he's all juiced up on coffee which just makes him look like he's on meth or something. I mean normally he looks likes he's on crack, but that's on a normal day. But when we go to clubs it's like a mix of ecstasy and crystal meth. No joke.

Within about an hour everyone had taken the club under their control. "There is no way you can get Butters to let you body shot off him." said Token.

"Fine, if I manage to convince him then you owe me twenty bucks." Kenny smirked as he chugged one of his cheap beers.

"I want in!" I said as Craig snatched my shot from me. "But if you don't convince him then you have to buy us a round of shots."

Kenny paused for a moment, "Fine but if I do convince him then I don't want twenty bucks from you, I want you to make out with Kyle."

My face dropped, "Dude, the fuck?"

"Fucking pervert." chuckled Craig as he sipped some random persons drink.

"Call me what you will but I really do owe both you and Kyle a favor."

"It is about time you break the tension." added Token as he helped Craig stand properly.

Does everyone know about me and Kyle? Jesus, I thought they wouldn't think anything of it considering I've done my all to ignore him.

Before we could continue our bet making we heard someone scream, "Woo!"

"Come on bitch take it off!"

Bebe was currently dancing on the countertops like some stripper. Oh and look at that she managed to get Tweek onto the bar table with her, yes dancing like maniacs. Tweek looks kind of like a girl and I'm pretty sure half of the other drunken men agree, they're like throwing money at him.

Craig stood up quickly, "What the fuck? Tweek, get *hic* the fuck DOWN!" he shouted at he shoved random people out of the way.

We just laughed at him and continued to watch Bebe and Tweek grind on the countertops. Tweek's twitches only added emphasis to the rave dance. Kenny laughed and slapped my back, "Too bad she didn't get Kyle up there."

"You're fucking drunk man."

"Ah, ah, ah, I've only had like three or four beers. Therefore, I'm far from drunk. Along the lines of tipsy." he looked over at Craig who was now pulling Tweek off the table forcefully, "Craig on the other hand is rather shitfaced."

I looked over again just in time to watch Craig pull the heap of blondes on top of him as they plummeted to the floor. Both Bebe and Tweek are now crushing Craig while everyone 'booed' at him. "Craig, stop ruining me and Tweeky-poo's fun!"

"Don't let him be a strip tease then! Fucking whore." I laughed at the scene of three drunken idiots wobble around.

"Hey, Buttercup, have you heard of body shots?" I chuckled and walked over to Wendy, you know the girl I thought was supposed to be my girlfriend.

"Hey, Wends." I said with a genuine smile. Well it wasn't really genuine but it was one hell of a fake smile.

Somehow I think she saw through it, "Listen, if you're here to brag about me being your girlfriend then go away."

"I don't understand why that would be a bad thing! I think you're amazing, shouldn't that be good?" now I was getting kind of pissed.

"I don't need to be a prize on display! I need a boyfriend who loves me unconditionally all day, everyday." she yelled and shot me daggers, "You're only treating me like this because you're in denial about being a gay-fucking-wad!"

"Homophobe much?" asked Clyde as he walked by sipping a Capri Sun. Where do you get a fucking Capri Sun at a club?

"Clyde, you fucking ruined the best drama I've seen all night." said Craig, he had his arms around Bebe and Tweek, I guess he finally managed to get them to stop strutting around.

"I'm just sick of being used." Wendy crossed her arms and examined my drunken appearance. "Eric is buying me a drink. He didn't ditch me when we got off the bus to go hang with the guys."

"Because nobody wanted to hang out with him." I muttered as she walked away disappearing into the crowd.

Tweek and Bebe's eyes widened and they started booty shaking, if that's what it's called. In unison they threw their arms up and released Craig, causing him to kiss the ground. "Oh my god! Tweek! Look, Kenny is sucking Butter's belly!"

Tweek twitched with anticipation as he danced around, "Sweet Jesus! He's sucking the life out of him!"

They sprinted away jovially and I was left with a heap of Craig. He was in the fetal position, "I want to sleep…"

I rolled my eyes and kicked him gently but he just snorted. "Dude…"

Of course I had to be the one stuck lugging that stupid ass back to the bus. It's not like I'm drunk or anything! No, I'm totally sober! I rolled by eyes and pulled Craig foreword some more, "Dude your fucking fat."

"Your fucking boney." he said as he shoved me off him, "I can walk myself." he stumbled backwards and landed in a bush.

"How you manage to fall in a bush in New York, really amazes me." Come on, New York is like only buildings, no bushes. Yet I'm now pulling one of my 'buddies' out of the sharp thorns.

Eventually we made our way back to the bus and Craig was crawling around like a toddler, which thankfully made me never want children. "Mooooooom, I love you but *hic* Dad's an ass…" I looked over and he was on his cell phone, "Don't 'oh' me!"

"Craig! Dude, the fuck?" I growled and played tug of war with him for a while.

"Dude, fuck yourself! No better yet go fuck Kyle, we all know you want to!" he hissed back which made me release his phone and send him flying backwards. Luckily I got a good laugh out of him smashing his head on the kitchen counter.

"One, your gonna feel that tomorrow. Two, I don't like Kyle." I went from highly amused to completely serious. I wonder if he can tell the difference.

"Really? I heard Kyle and Mole talking about your inciment." he looked up at me, I would've mistooken him for sober but then he 'inciment' instead of 'incident'. Maybe him and Clyde swapped brains for the night?

"What did you hear?" I asked now really curious.

"That you fucked him and ran. You won't even look the *hic* kid in the eyes now. Me now want to hear your defense." he blinked with a smug grin.

I just stared at him for a moment, I mean maybe I should just tell someone what happened. Get it off my chest once and for all. "Fine, it's not like you'll remember anyways."

Flashback…

"Where did Bebe go?" asked Wendy in her usual high-pitched voice. It's extremely aggravating, especially when I'm trying to have a fun time and just let loose. Of course, she's Wendy, she just wants to nag, nag and bring my mood into severe boredom or depression. That's Wendy for you.

Wendy Testaburger- The vision of beauty, perfectly flawless. Until you take away the seductive exterior and look at the reality of the women. A personality composed of hotheadedness, extremely prude tendencies, nags more than your mother, whines when something doesn't go her way and uses fists more than a guy.

"I th-think she went to *hic* the bathroom?" Kyle said in a confused, questioning way. That's how shit-faced he was, he probably didn't even know where he was.

"You guys are useless! I'm going to find her! Make sure you don't die of alcohol poisoning." she spat harshly as she left in a huff.

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Tell that to Kenny."

Kyle managed to hear me and erupted into a fit of giggles, "Dude, let's take another shot!"

Kyle Broflovski- In the hallways of Park High he's commonly referred to as either Stan Marsh's super best friend, Cartman's enemy, or a Jew. Usually wears a green hat to cover up his Jew-fro, a mop of red curls, though it's rather adorable. Is pale as snow but it fits him. Generally he looks feminine. A personality that revolves around his short-tempered attitude and 'Even if I'm small I'll kill you' physique. To even out the feistiness he obtains many nicer factors to his personality. Such as he is generally rational and knowledgeable when making decisions. Though he's also adventurous and willing to try extreme things just for the fun of it. He knows when to put his foot down and when to just let go.

I smiled at him and held my glass for a toast, "A toast to the sexiest redhead in the building."

"You mean on the planet." he winked and laughed at himself. I love when he gets drunk he just becomes a childish mess.

"In the universe!" I said and he smiled back at me.

"Want to dance?" he asked as he tilted his head slightly to the left and his smile sparkled. Okay, so I'm a little drunk and I'm taking in way to many details of my MALE friend.

"Yeah, a specific dance, so to speak." I replied and I'm pretty sure he knew what I meant. It's not my fault that I was caught in his seductive trance…fine, so he wasn't trying to be seductive but I guess it's just a natural ability for him. His hair gracefully falls in his face meaning he has to push it to the side to reveal his hypnotizing orbs of emerald.

They. Hypnotized. Me. That's the end of my reasoning…

"Anything but the Macarena, I never learned all the dance moves." he chuckled and rubbed the back of his head, "Jews don't have much rhythm."

"Lucky for you, I do." I winked.

"Before I could even rationalize the situation I was bringing him to the bathroom." I said as I put my head in my hands, one, this was a humiliating story, two, I'm actually enjoying the memory.

"You do realize you had sex with the love of your life in a crappy club bathroom." Craig was trying to hold back his laughter, which normally is extremely easy for him, but I guess my suffering is beyond hilarious to the dickhead. Plus he's pretty damn drunk.

"He's not the love of my life." Well that wasn't convincing, I didn't even sound defensive or stern or anything! I literally replied casually. How did I just reply casually to a statement like that?

"Wendy isn't. Kyle is. Get over it." he started playing with the remote until the batteries popped out, "Aw shit, how do you put the batteries in the remote?" maybe he's going to hyperventilate.

"Not that you're a suckish advice giver but you suck at giving advice." I glared at him. Why I'm telling Craig my secret? I don't know and as far as I can remember me and him don't get along very well. We're like specific rivals, I'm the leader of my gang, he's the leader of his and we compete at like everything.

"What do you expect, I'm starting to see everything as a blur. I'm more concerned with keeping my balance than giving you some life changing advice." he rolled his eyes and adjusted his hat. It still shocks me that he wears it, I mean its kind of stupid looking. Very kid-like. "Dude, I'm gonna fucking break this clicker! I can't fit the goddamn batteries in!"

I just looked down at the floor and shrugged, "Yeah…"

There was a long silence until Craig managed to stand up and turned to face me with his arms crossed and everything, "You are the dumbest dude I've ever met. Like even stupider than Clyde."

"This coming from the guy who can't fit the batteries in the damn remote!" I yelled in an objecting manner.

"No. Seriously. Like even Clyde would be able to come to terms that he's gay and in love with one awesome dude. I understand being gay isn't the most normal thing in the world, but if I can admit I'm gay then you should be able to." he rolled his eyes and stumbled a bit, but continued talking, "I'm Mr. Boring and your Mr. Adventure, right? Right. So you've suffered stranger things than being gay. I feel bad that Kyle was stuck with an ass like you, I'd never put Tweek through what you've put Kyle through."

There was another long silence and I just sat there awe-stuck. Craig never usually talks that much, it means he'd have to put effort into the conversation and usually he didn't do that. Plus he just got mad at me for not admitting I'm gay, while telling me that he's gay and okay with it. I knew he was gay and stuff but he never really admitted to it, he would just tell us to fuck off.

And he felt bad for Kyle, for what I did. I ignored him, I ignored Kyle and threw myself at Wendy. I'm such an asshole! I sighed, "Thanks."

"Don't be a pussy." he said back to his normal 'I don't care' attitude, monotone voice included. Though he was still having trouble seeing properly… he grabbed the back of the back of the driver's seat and groaned.

"So you and Tweek really are a thing?" I asked with a smirk. Smirking both at his physical, alcohol pain and his emotionally, 'I'm in love with Tweek' obvious secret. Though it never really was a secret…

"More than you and Kyle are." he grinned smugly. A minute later I was holding the boy's Chullo while he upchucked into the toilet bowl.

That's how my night ended, a fabulous night discussing my memories of a night I thought I regretted, with Craig, who was of course completely under the influence and probably couldn't even remember his own name. Oh then I had to be his bitch and turn him on his side so he wouldn't choke on his own puke. I guess it wasn't a total failure. Maybe, I'll talk to Kyle. Fuck Wendy.

The morning came quick and everyone ended up in strange positions just like a few nights before. Along with myself Craig, Bebe and Tweek ended up in the crammed room we call the 'drunken fucktards' room. Bebe and Tweek were spooning in the bathtub, both soaked for some reason. Craig still hugging the toilet bowl and me, leaning against the wall just observing it all.

As far as I can tell everyone else is still asleep. I on the other hand stood up and started examining the rest of the bus. Cartman and Wendy claimed the couch as Wendy leaned against Cartman, her own personal pillow. Kenny on the floor next to Butters' bed. Token was in the drivers seat, awkwardly adjusted to the wheel. Christophe in one of the beds, cigarette hanging from his lips.

I stared mindlessly as Kyle hummed quietly. I guess I'm not the only one up, considering my super best friend is making coffee. He glanced over at me and gave me a shy smile, "Option one, run back into the bathroom. Option two, we can talk."

I just stared at him while he waited patiently for my answer. I cleared my throat which was burning from nervousness and dryness, "Option three, we can start by drinking some coffee?"

His small, sliver of a smile grew and he nodded, "Who are you? Tweek?"

We shared a calm chuckled until the doors we're pried open and a pissed off Clyde was shooting us sharp glares, "Wow, nobody even thought about helping me! I woke up next to a cross dresser in a cheap motel down the street!"

"Yeah well I was forced to help a shit-faced Craig all night." I stated as I grabbed the coffee from Kyle.

"Well I had sex with Christophe." said Kyle smiling stupidly and my smile dropped. He glanced back and forth from Clyde to me, "I win?"

WHAT?

Notice I mention Jersey Shore or have Jersey Shore references in half my chapters, yeah that's because Jersey Shore is my second favorite show xD South Park comes first of course!

I know, I suck at Stan! He's not like super funny and it was an extremely serious chapter and I know…it sucked… :(((