Day eight: lazy day

"Wendy…"

"Oh my god. Amazing..." she nuzzled into him and giggled innocently. Though what she had just done was far from innocent.

He blushed and turned his head, though holding her tightly, "That was my first time."

"But…everyone admitted it! Nobody is a virgin… the beginning of this trip we all said we weren't…" she drifted off, she was utterly confused and well, drunk of course.

"I lied. You took my virginity." he wasn't so drunk…

"I'm honored…" she kissed his chest and slowly made her way up to his lips, "Someday, let's do it again..."

I regained focus and came back to reality just as Kyle snapped his fingers in front of my face. That stupid Jew gets on my nerves, bitch doesn't know how to respect someone's goddamn authority. "What the fuck do you want, Jew?" I growled.

"Don't get all huffy, you fat fuck. I was just asking what you want to eat!" he crossed his arms and shot me a sharp glare, dickhole.

"Oh I don't know, Kahl, we're ordering pizza, right? So I guess I'm gonna have some goddamn pizza. You would've never guessed!" I spat sarcastically. Seriously when we order pizza, why the fuck wouldn't I have pizza?

"Fuck you, dude, you can starve!" he hissed back angrily, such a fucking temper.

"Skipping a few meals once in a while wouldn't be a bad idea for you, Cartman." Stan commented. He's such a fucking faggot, the only reason he bothers to bag on me is because his boyfriend does it. He's a follower, just like when he followed those emo bastards…fucking hippy-emo-wannabe-poser-fag.

"Ay! Fuck you!"

"What an original comeback!" Bebe giggled as she pranced around in her slutty outfit. Nobody wants a chick that puts out for free! Dumb hoe…

"Screw you guys! I'm going outside." I stomped off the bus and left all the assholes to sit in the bus without my presence, that should show them not to fuck with me. Now they're probably really bored and lonely without me, because I'm awesome.

Craig was outside smoking a cigarette, he grunted when he saw me, "Don't talk to me, lardass."

I rolled my eyes but grinned wickedly, "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bedroom last night. Let me guess your bed was occupied by Tweek and Christophe instead, right?"

"Seriously, Cartman! I'm not in the mood for your shit." he said sternly. He was pretty pissed. Now normally Craig is far from pissed, just dead, like a lifeless bastard. So of course I can't let this opportunity go, I have to make fun of him! Push him over the edge.

"I bet Tweek liked it too. The French have all the moves. I mean you can't be as suave as Frenchy-boy, not with a nasally voice like yours; it gives you a permanent sinus infection."

"Your not remotely funny, assfucker."

"Whatever at least I can keep my woman under my wing, jackass."

I felt a sharp burn and yelped. That asshole just burned me! He fucking used me as an ash tray, that son of a goddamn fucking bitch! I shoved him back and he pushed me too. I toppled backwards unable to keep my balance and…well I was on the ground before I knew it, "Fucking asshole!"

Craig didn't utter a word and flung his used up cigarette on the ground before going back into the bus. I sat up and grunted, he thinks I'm mad, no way! Dude, I just pissed Craig off! My day is fucking made!

Stan stepped off the bus and gave me a nod, to show he acknowledged my existence. Like I give a fuck if he acknowledges me or not, psh, please!

He leaned against the wall and sighed, "I hate Christophe."

"He's a cocksucker." I stated bluntly. "Though I hate you too, so I'm not willing to bond over our hatred of the French piece of shit."

"You're such an ass."

"Yeah well you suck." I spat back. It was a shitty insult I admit…oh well…

"Not as much as your mom." he laughed harshly.

I gripped my fists tightly, "Douche!"

"Fag."

"Like you should be talking! Why don't you go fuck your best buddy Kahl?"

"Wouldn't he be busy fucking Christophe." Stan huffed angrily.

I quirked a brow, a sudden topic for conversation, excellent. "Ah, ah, ah is someone jealous?"

"You of all people should know I didn't fuck Wendy on this trip." he turned to me with a serious expression. Shit, this might be a deep conversation…those normally end up awkward…

"No shit. I fucked your girlfriend." I taunted with a smirk.

"Well she isn't my girlfriend anymore, so I don't give two shits." he rolled his eyes, "But I did have sex on this trip."

"With the Jew, no doubt." I stated. It's obvious to everyone not just me. Stan is too fucking stupid.

"Yeah…so…I don't want to lose him to Christophe…" he's opening up to me! The fuck is going on?

"Well grow a pair and win Kahl back." I stated as if it were just that simple.

"It's just that I really, really care for Kyle. Like a lot, dude. I know that I was in denial after we fucked but that doesn't mean that I didn't like it! I was just going through that stage were I couldn't fully accept the fact that I was gay. Who wouldn't be a little confused if they found out they were gay! I was practically fucked up anyways considering I was shitfaced, so how could I properly digest this sudden information that I was bent? I couldn't! Then Christophe had to come along and just fuck everything up! Stupid ass, cocksucker, I fucking hate him with every fiber of my being. He knew I was just struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality, but he still went after what was rightfully mine! I just can't-"

"Shut the fuck up!" I hissed angrily.

He froze and shot me a glare, "The least you could do is listen, fatass."

"I listened enough!" I growled, "Stan, we're kind of friends, so I'll give you some advice. I don't know if you'll take it, but I'll give you some anyways."

He nodded, "Alright."

"Well it seems Frenchy has won Kahl's heart, so win it back. Take action and do something crazy for him. Just do something."

He nodded and smiled, "That's actually kind of good advice…in a way?"

"No shit. I'm a fucking genius." I examined him, "Maybe get a haircut, so you don't look like a fucking emo faggot anymore."

He laughed and punched my arm, "Fucking douche…"

"I might be a douche, but you're a fag." I spat back with a grin.

He just smirked back, "I still top."

"That's too much information…"

Hours later…

"Well today is going by rather slowly…" Bebe whined as she was sprawled across the couch with Clyde. That fuck eats more than I do…wait are those my goddamn cheesie-poofs!

I snatched the bag from Clyde while Kenny got everyone's attention, "Considering we didn't do anything exciting tonight, I will change that."

"We're not having an orgy." said Kyle with annoyance in his tone.

"Yeah I ain't a fucking faggot!" I barked harshly.

"No you're a bigoted asshole." said Wendy with a smirk.

"Shut up!" Kenny rolled his eyes, "We can have fun even if we do stay on the bus all night. We just have to make do with our time." he grinned as he held up an empty bottle, "With some good ol' spin the bottle."

"Isn't that a little…immature?" asked Token.

Wendy nodded, "I haven't played that since like middle school."

Bebe laughed loudly, "Ah! I want to play it so bad! Please, Wendy?" she clung to her friend and whined obnoxiously. I want to buy that bitch a muzzle.

"Fine, but are we really just going to do pathetic little kisses?" Wendy crossed her arms. What more does she want? If we go any further then it'll end up like a fucking orgy.

"How far do you intend to go?" Kenny smirked disgustingly. That's why he needs his fucking hood, to hide his ugly ass face.

"Well we could do seven minutes in heaven." she smirked, "That would be a little more interesting, don't you agree?"

Kenny's eyes widened with pleasure and he looked at me, "I'm not objecting. What about you, fatboy?"

I glared, "Fuck you."

"You're not really my type." he winked obnoxiously.

"Let's play!" giggled Bebe.

…

I'm now in the bathroom with Butters…

"Well Kenny got kind of pissed." I chuckled as I sat on the toilet cover.

"Y-yeah…" Butters muttered quietly. Why the fuck is he so shy all of a sudden? I mean he even agreed to this slut trip, why the fuck wouldn't he expect to play some whore games?

"So…" I looked around the room bored. I mean I'm not gay but we have to do something…right?

"I promised Kenny I wouldn't do anything!" he practically shouted.

I cocked a brow and laughed dryly, "Yeah, I know. He told me."

"Oh…yeah…"

"Why do you let him push you around anyways. If I were you I'd be like 'ay! Fuck you, you poor piece of shit. Go make me a goddamn sandwich while I fuck some hoes!' you know?"

"No…I don't know. I love Kenny and I don't want to hurt him!"

"Kenny doesn't love you." I stated harshly. If only I cared about how much I just crushed Butters. Honestly I could see the pain in his eyes, like he wanted to cry. What a goddamn pussy.

"Don't say that, Eric!" he was kind of defensive, but not really. Like he wanted to believe that Kenny loved him, but even he was questioning it.

"I already told you to branch free from that douche bag. When are you going to take my advice?"

"When are you going to admit your gay?" he shot back, along with a glare. When does Butters ever glare? Never! He never gives anyone any shit, so why is he being a bitch to me? Asshole!

"What?" I couldn't even come up with a proper response. I'm not fucking nervous! I should be able to say 'No, ass-muncher. I'm not a fucking faggot."

He smiled, "I knew it."

Holy shit, I think I'm blacking out. Not really, but like WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!

The next four minutes were filled with me and Butters making out. My tongue is down another man's throat…WHAT?

When the door opened me and Butters walked out and greeted the circle again. Wendy smiled at me, "I'm guessing nothing happened."

"Did anything happen?" Kenny asked demandingly.

I gulped and shook my head, "No, what the fuck do you guys think I'm a flamer?"

Kyle rolled his eyes, "No, Butters just doesn't seem like the person that would want to make out with an ugly piece of shit like you."

"Listen, Kahl, if I wanted I could get with anyone on the planet! Including Butters but for your infor-"

"We made out!" Butters exclaimed.

Silence absorbed the room. Stan and Kyle shared an odd look, Bebe attempted to contain giggles, Token grinned, Clyde continued to eat MY cheesie-poofs, Craig stayed expressionless, Tweek shook as expected, Christophe cocked a brow in amusement and bother Wendy and Kenny shot sharps glares.

And of course Craig felt the need to break the silence, "This trip is just full of surprises."

Alright, I know! This chapter was short and very OOC BUT I promise the next chapters will be better because we're restarting the cycle ;D And I'm much better at writing in Bebe, Kenny, etc point of views!