Summary:

Bruno recollects his feelings about his family.

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Written in Bruno's POV.

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Ten years.

I've been in these walls for ten years.

It's difficult living like this, being near the family, but no longer being a part of it.

I've learned to live with the loneliness. It wasn't easy for the first few years. The most difficult one was a few months after I disappeared, watching my sisters try to celebrate our birthday without me there. They couldn't do it. No one could, not even myself.

Then, they stopped celebrating it altogether.

My family changed so much since I left.

The thumping of the drawers on the other side wakes me from my sleep. It seems like everyone is getting ready.

It's Antonio's fifth birthday.

I used to feel bad for Pepa and Félix when I heard that they had another child. While little Antonio seems like a wonderful boy, I wish he didn't have to endure the expectation of redeeming the family. He must be terrified.

I would be too if I were in his shoes.

I stretch and roll off my makeshift bed, which is a ratty hammock tied in the corner of this small room. The space is filled with various knickknacks I've accumulated over the years. A few came from my old room in the tower that I moved through here by accessing the varied passages and cracks circling the house. The rest I acquired by sneaking out of the walls and taking them while everyone is asleep.

The place is a mess, sure, but charming and cozy nonetheless. It's my home.

I rub my temples and try to shake away the dream I just had before all the noise. Ever since I stopped having visions, I started having dreams.

They are always about the same person. It's always her.

"Today's the day, I guess," I sigh as I pick up one of the rats scampering about. "What do you think? Would Antonio's ceremony be a success?"

The rat on my palm starts rubbing its face with its paws. I'm imagining a conversation again.

"Hm, you're right. It's none of my business," I hum as it jumps off. "I'll go get us some breakfast, you all just stay put in here."

I leave the room and make the short walk towards the pipes I've rerouted for water to wash my face. After I refresh myself, I go over to the gap next to the kitchen for food. I find the usual fare along with a few extra arepas, pandemonos, and fruit on an old plate with a folded note. I quietly reach over to grab my meal that's tucked safely in the corner away from sight.

"Thanks, Dolores!" I say as I make my way back to my room, plate in hand.

Among the family, Dolores is the only one that knows I'm in the walls. She heard me the first day I went missing and waited until everyone had gone to sleep to interrogate me about it. I asked her to keep my presence a secret. She kept her promise all these years and never said anything, even when Camilo once told everyone that he saw me.

I laugh to myself when I recall the memory. He was seven and was sneaking around to have a midnight snack when he stumbled upon me in the kitchen. It was one of my late-night runs. He fainted before I could even explain myself.

I feed my pets first before I grab my share. I settle myself in my seat, savoring each bite of food while I read what Dolores has written down for me.

"Tío Bruno, I LOVE the new twist you've introduced. Amaranta being José's aunt?! I thought they were of the same age? When will you create the next episode of Amor y Pasión?"

I chuckle. Even as an adult she's still captivated by my stories. It gets boring in the walls, so I keep myself entertained by making my pets act.

"Don't worry, Dolores, you'll get your next episode. I already have the storyline plotted out."

I continue reading the rest of her message and my heart does a little squeeze when I reach the end.

"P.S: I heard her singing today. She's outside again, but I still don't know where. I scoured the mountains earlier, hoping this time I'd catch her, but, no luck. Wherever she is, she's been making it difficult. We've been searching for her for ten years. I'm starting to suspect her family might know something…but I think they've been sworn to secrecy. They never mentioned anything.

I know the feeling of keeping secrets…

Mamá and Tía Julieta miss her so much. I miss her too. I wonder if she still remembers me. Or the whole family. Everyone talks about her sometimes in hushed tones. I think they forget I have my ears to the wall.

Anyway, the song she was singing earlier was a little heartbreaking. The last line made me cry. I had to pretend that I was fine when I got home to help out with the decorating for Antonio's ceremony later (sorry about the noise). I'm not familiar with the song, but it's about a love story. Maybe she's thinking about you, Tío."

I don't respond. Instead, I finish up my breakfast and leave the room to do my daily inspection of the walls. The cracks have been multiplying more and more lately. I pull the hood of my ruana up on my head so I can take a closer look. I'm not brave enough to go near the walls on my own as Bruno, so I pretend to be someone else.

"Alright, let's get this over with. After all, I, Hernando, am not afraid of anything…"

Maybe except for one thing. I try not to think so much about the past as 'Jorge', my second personality that wears a bucket as a hat, starts to prepare the spackle to fix the walls. I fail miserably, though.

Does Gabriela know that I think about her, too?

My mind goes back to the dream I had this morning. I think it's more of a memory than a dream. A memory of a happier time when we were together. Nothing else in life can quite compare to it, even if I try to build it around stories.

A love that could never be.

Tears start streaming down my face. I take a moment to swallow down the pain. Crying wouldn't solve anything. It wouldn't turn back time. I've chosen this fate.

Ten years.

I've been in these walls for ten years.

I've never been able to forget.

I'm still in love with her.

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I'm sitting near the main entrance to the wall that's beside Dolores' door, listening to the celebration outside. Antonio has a gift, making me feel relieved. Though what that gift is, I have no clue.

I'm enjoying the music, dancing alone when the celebration suddenly stops. My stomach drops when I hear someone's frantic voice. Mirabel's.

"The cracks were there…they were…everywhere! The house was in trouble…the candle was…Abuela, I promise…"

No. No. It's not happening now, is it?

I run off before I could hear any more.

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"Okay everyone, team huddle," I start grabbing all of my rats and plop them down on the crate that I've repurposed as a coffee table…sometimes as an ottoman. "She's seeing the cracks."

All of my pets stare at me as I ramble on. "Mirabel is seeing the cracks…" I slump down on my armchair, throwing my hands up in frustration. "The magic is weakening."

I cover my face with my hands and chant all of the mantras I know to ward off bad luck. "It's not real. It's not going to happen. The vision has long been destroyed. We're fine. The family is fine."

A rat climbs up my ruana and squeaks, asking for attention. I sigh as I pick it up and scratch it behind its ear. "Okay, I'm not going to lie to you," I start muttering, thinking about the past. "I think I sabotage every relationship I'm in, every single one of them. I bolt when something goes wrong, even if it isn't my fault. I definitely have self-esteem issues… "

The rat on my palm sniffs the air and squeaks again. I blink. I've forgotten what we're talking about and I've spent a good minute ranting. "Lo siento. I didn't mean to get off track. It's just…I have a lot on my mind. With her, the family...and…who am I kidding? I know, I'm worried. I see the cracks too. It's multiplying."

As if I don't notice Casita falling apart inside these walls. I wince when I recall I broke the floorboards somewhere when I was moving my armchair from my old room to the makeshift one. There's now a huge, gaping hole and I avoid that area as much as I can.

My head hurts.

"Well, anyway, I'm going to bed, maybe everything will be better in the morning," I place the rat back down and they all scamper away. I settle myself into the hammock to sleep.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that it'll get better in the morning. It takes a while before I'm able to calm myself down to dream.

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Glossary of terms (in order of appearance in-text):

Amor y Pasión - Love and Passion