Day Nine: Barn Kisses

Well this is just pathetic. I mean it's been forever since we went partying! I seriously need to get my drink on, get my swag on and get fucked up! That's what living is all about, focusing on the three most amazing things the world has to offer: alcoholic beverages, sexual intercourse and possibly some hallucinogens. Wow I feel smart when I used big words like that.

I guess I should dumb it down, I mean I am a blonde after all. The best things in life are simply getting drunk, getting laid and getting high as a fucking kite, bitches! Yeah that sounds like my mind alright.

I giggled to myself and due to the cashier's grin he thought it was pretty damn cute. I do have that effect on people, they look at me and instantly fall head over heels…for my body at least. "That'll be five dollars and forty-nine cents."

I smiled seductively and I could feel Wendy rolling her eyes. She was standing a few feet behind me: waiting for me to buy some junk food with my non-existent money. When you have tits like mine, everything is free.

"Well actually…I don't think I have any money on me…" I sighed and twirled my hair slowly. Now just nibble on the lip a bit and flash him the puppy dog eyes, "I think I misplaced it."

He gulped nervously. I'm such a deadly predator and he's a mere, innocent, foolish idiot, whom is my prey. I feed on guy's that get this nervous. I mean I'm not even giving my best amount of cleavage, yet he's taking the bait. I bet he has a boner he's hiding behind the desk.

"Well I-I don't think I c-can-" he stuttered nervously until another man showed up grinning with obvious confidence.

I corrected my seductive posture, hoping this isn't another stuck-up manager. I hate when managers fuck up my system of getting what I want. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked while directing his full attention towards me.

"Well, sir, I forgot my money. I know you probably can't comply and I don't want to seem like a pity case but I just have nowhere to go and absolutely nothing to eat. I mean my parents kicked me out because they found out I'm bisexual." alright, so it might be a lie, but I've always been fond of acting.

The boss, dude, guy's eyes lit up and he grinned wider. Good, he's turned on by hot lesbians! Or well…so it appears. "I'm so sorry. I mean I'm very supportive of gay rights."

I fluttered my lashes, "Thank you, that girl over there. She's my part time lover."

I looked back at Wendy who was obviously paying attention to the entire conversation, considering the look on her face. She was shocked and blushing like a clown! I stuck my tongue at her and she responded by shooting me a semi-glare and looking at the ground nervously, "She's shy." I stated with a fake smile.

He examined her and obviously noted how hot she was, I mean it's Wendy, she's my best friend and of course she's banging! He nodded at me, "Part time?"

"It's sort of an open relationship." another fake smile painted it's way onto my face. I can't make myself appear taken, that will ruin the game. Boys like to feel wanted, or feel they have a chance with a girl like me. Duh.

"Really? Well I don't think you should pay for this. You're going through a tough time." he pushed the chips and other snacks towards me and winked.

I grabbed them giddily and tilted my head gently, "Thank you, kind soul."

"But do you mind doing me a…favor?" he asked searching for the right word.

If he asks me for a fucking blowjob I'm going to be pretty fucking pissed. I mean I know I just gave him a pretty sexy story about me being bi and all, but that doesn't mean I'm easy! Oh well, smile Bebe! "Depends. What's the favor?"

"Well I was hoping you and your lover could stop by a party I'm having tonight."

My eyes flickered and I grinned widely, "How could I reject that?"

He laughed, "Cool, cool. So I'll write down the address and what time it starts, so you can meet me there."

I nodded eagerly, "Sounds great!"

"There'll be drinking and probably drugs and well plenty of hooking up taking place. You down with that shit? Or are you straightedge?" he asked curiously.

I licked my lips and leaned closer, "Take a guess."

Moments later me and Wendy were walking out of the store with free food and a party invite. I mean what can't nice tits get you? I laughed to myself and Wendy rolled her eyes, "You really, truly amaze me."

"Why is that?" I ask tauntingly.

She chuckled, "You manage to pull off the most bullshitted lie and you got us free food. I love you, Bebe."

"Love you too, lover." I ruffled her hair and skipped ahead to the bus.

"Where the fuck have you hoes been?" asked Cartman rudely. That boy needs to get off his fat ass and go take a fucking jog. He's always raiding the fridge and sulking on the couch. I just can't believe my adorable Butters made out with him. Oh my god, my beautiful Wendy fucked him! Dear Lord, my friends have no taste.

"We've been buying food, be grateful, fat fuck." I put the food on the countertop and he quirked a brow. That boy thinks with his stomach, no doubt.

"Well actually more like seduced a poor cashier into giving us it for free." corrected Wendy as she managed a genuine laugh. I'm really the only one that gets her to laugh and be goofy, everyone else just pisses her off. That's why everyone mistakes her for a stuck-up bitch, when in reality she is my best friend because she's so funny, outgoing, smart and goofy!

"Bebe's tits save the bus from starvation!" Kenny bowed towards my bust and grinned.

"Oh what will my mighty boobs do next!" I sang cheerfully.

Wendy laughed, "Not only did they save us from starvation but they saved us from utter boredom!"

"Did she let you play with her boobs too?" asked Clyde from his bunk. I burst into laughter, how stupid he can be. "I'm just saying that playing with her boobs always keeps me entertained!"

"Well thanks, Clyde-bear, you're a true romantic." I spat sarcastically as I plopped down on the couch beside Tweek and Craig. There have been some serious love triangles lately, most of which involving Christophe, so Craig's been extra protective of his Tweekers.

"I try." he nodded.

Craig rolled his eyes and flipped him off, "I feel like we have way to many conversations about Bebe's tits. Seriously they really will destroy society one day."

"Which is extra amazing because they hypnotize everyone, even the homos!" I caressed Craig's cheek and he just rolled his eyes at me. I take that lovingly!

"Whatever, nice tits are nice tits." Tweek laughed and Craig shrugged as if it was nothing. Even though Craig may pretend to be bisexual, I'm almost a hundred percent sure he's a complete faggot. He's just way too into Tweek's cock for him to even consider liking pussy. Simple as that.

"So how -nngh- did your boobs s-save you from boredom?" asked Tweek curiously. He's such a sweetheart!

I smiled kindly, "Well they got us an invitation to a party tonight!"

"Fuck yeah!" Kenny fist pumped into the air with pleasure. He's just like me, admiring the three amazing things of life. Me and him really must have some mind sync. We're just always thinking about the same things, we always talk about the same things and we always do the same things! We're brain twins!

"Christophe, slow down!" yelled Wendy again. She's always nagging someone, luckily for me she never nags me!

He rolled his eyes, "Go away…"

Well thanks to Christophe's extreme speed we made it to the party just in time. Not to mention it's a fucking barn party. No supervision or chance of parents finding out about the loud, obnoxious party. It's perfect!

Once we entered everyone took off, some went to the dance floor, some went to the make-out hay stack things and some went to go get fucking drunk! Well I might just do everything tonight. I laughed as Tweek walked over to me with two alcoholic beverages, that boy is always eager to get shit-faced. "Come on -nngh- Bebe we have to get fucked up!"

I giggled as he chugged down the drink with extreme speed. No one would expect it but that boy can hold his alcohol better than most people. Though we don't have to worry about him becoming an alcoholic because that's just way to much pressure. "Well if you insist!"

I'm now dancing on the stage, I didn't even know barns had stages, but this one does! "Hey, sexy." said the familiar voice of the cashier manager guy.

"Well hello hot stuff." I purred back at him. Fine, so I might be a bit tipsy. That's okay because Mr. Dude can help support my weight.

"You're having a lot of fun, aren't ya?" he wiggled his brows suggestively as I sat on the stage and he stood a bit closer than I'd prefer.

I twirled my hair, "Yeah!"

He handed me a drink and I chugged it down eagerly, "I love this song!"

"Why don't you do a sexy dance?" he asked seductively.

I swayed side to side and nodded eagerly. Time for everyone to see how sexy I really am! I stood up quickly and stumbled a bit, "Ready for a real show!"

I flashed my beautiful bust to the crowd and heard hollers and whistles. I giggled and twirled around. Somehow my shirt got stuck which impaired my view, which was already bad enough considering the shit-faced state. WHOA!

I toppled off the stage and nobody caught me, "Bebe!"

I laid on the ground with a thumping in my head and still not being able to get this deadly shirt off my head. Never mind, someone helped the dumb blonde, yay! I laughed some more and my vision fuzzed a bit, yet I managed to make out my savior. "Wendy! I love this song!"

"Bebe, stop drinking so much!"

"How about you loosen up!" I poked her nose.

"Bebe, stop. Let's get you back to the bus before you start upchucking…" she rolled her eyes.

"Someone needs to get the pole out of her ass!" I grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in quickly. It was about five seconds of pure…sloppy bliss! I enjoyed the feeling of us swapping spit. Sexy. "I've been waiting to do that for much too long."

"Well I always enjoy some hot lesbian action."

Wendy stared at me, blankly? I smiled at her nervously, "Wendy?"

"I can't-" before I could hear the rest of what she said I saw her walk away rubbing her temples. What'd I do?

"Did you have a fight with your lover?" he grabbed my waist.

"She'll be fine. Maybe she's drunk." I licked my lips and took his drink out of his hands, "But I'm not drunk enough!"

Moments later we were in a closet. A closet! Closets aren't supposed to be in barns. "Hey, bitch."

I went to shove him away but toppled over and landed on my ass, rather hard…I whined, "Don't!…touch me."

He ignored my pathetic shove and grabbed my wrist, "Shh, no need to freak out. This'll be one hell of a time. That's what roofies are made for. Fun, fun, fun!"

What's going on? I need help. Help! Oh shit…everything's blurry. Wendy? Someone? Get off! GET OFF!

Blackout.

"Where…wh-where am I?"

Alright, so when I start taking a long time to update that's when you guys have to threaten me. I know it sounds violent but seriously someone needs to grow a pair and bitch me out! If I start slacking just message me and be like "Hey, Bitch, you better start typing another fucking chapter to this story or I'll kick you in the nuts!" don't be afraid to be a Cartman ;D

SPOILER: to the person who asked for more Creek, I promise the next Craig chapter will be focusing on just them ;)