Author's Note: Sorry for the confusion guys! So I took down the second chap because the amazing Cliffhanger Girl was editing it.

So here it is, the new and improved 2nd chapter of Boy I'm In Love With….

Special thanks to: The Cliffhanger Girl for being my beta! She is amazing! And also

DegrassiLover2010, my first reviewer for this story and ilovetaylorswift13, your reviews are so sweet! Thank you!

Updates: I'm working on the 7th chapter of Maislinn or Jaislinn so it will probably up by Sunday, depending on when my beta will get done with it.

I shoved open the door, applying as much force as I could in order to open it. My eyes bulged, seeing Eli sitting on the floor, with tears running down his cheeks and some sort of buzzer in his hand. His lips were trembling and parts of his beautiful locks were cut off as he whispered, "Clare…I'm dying."

My vision became quickly blurred from the amount of tears that I tried to hold back, but couldn't.

I fell to the floor and clung to him, "We have time Eli. Please, don't leave me."

My chest heaved up and down, as I sobbed hysterically.

"I can't take it anymore," he choked and turned around, hugging my waist as his head fell to my breasts.

I watched as my boyfriend, the love of my life and the person that makes my heart beat erratically by just a glance, slowly crack.

"Baby, please...I know it's hard," I whimpered while stroking his hair and continued, "I love you."

I whispered sweet nothings in his ear, trying to soothe his hysterics and calm his body down from the sudden 'shakes' due to the crying.

After about a half an hour of restless tears, Eli and I had calmed down. His head was still buried deep in my chest while I held onto his head tightly.

"I'm going to miss you," Eli whispered against my flesh.

Fresh water droplets rolled down my cheeks as he whispered, "I'm going to miss talking to you, miss kissing you, making love to you…and I'm especially going to miss these," he kissed my breasts through my tank top and reached up to squeeze them.

I giggled, trying to keep a positive attitude as I whispered lowly, "I'm going to miss you too Eli, so much."

After a moment of silence, I asked gently, "Do you want to sleep now?"

He pulled back from my grip and I saw his puffy red eyes, "First I have to do something."

Eli got up and took the shaver off the floor. He walked to the mirror and started at the front of his head, as the beautiful jet black locks fell to the floor. I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his skinny waist, closing my eyes to keep the tears from falling, "Your chemo is done Eli. You don't have to do this," I whispered.

He didn't respond.

After a minute I heard the buzzing stop and my eye lids slowly fluttered open as my eyes slowly glanced at the mirror.

I saw the most beautiful boy in the world. He turned around and wrapped his around my hips tightly, gripping onto me as if I was last thing that he could grab before the world would blow up before his eyes.

He was pale.

Another sign of leukemia taking over his body: anemia.

"You're so beautiful Eli," I blurted, a little embarrassed, and cupped his cheeks with my small hands as he leaned down and kissed both my palms.

I smiled weakly and took his hand, leading him into the bedroom. I helped him take off his pants and shirt as I stood before him, tracing the lines on his chest and stomach. I was memorizing his skin, his touch and his piercing green eyes staring back at me.

I looked up at him and he smiled down at me as we shared a brief, but sensual kiss.

When our lips separated, Eli led me onto the bed. I crawled onto the bed first, the blankets and sheets ruffling slightly as Eli kneeled onto the bed behind me. I laid down on my stomach, my face buried in his pillow.

At first, I inhaled his scent and I knew that I would now forever have that smell to inhale through my nostrils. Eli held onto my butt, kneading the flesh with his light rubs and pats.

My lips curled into a bliss-filled grin as I sighed out in pleasure.

Eli sat between my legs and lifted my shirt, revealing my back to his eyes. He leaned down and placed light kisses and licks all around my back as his thumbs toyed with the hem of my panties.

I loved when Eli did this, when he spent time just worshiping my body.

As he pecked my shoulders, his warm lips pressing up against my sensitive flesh, I felt him slowly pull down my panties. I parted my legs out of instinct as he kissed down my body slowly, savoring every inch of my skin.

Eli kissed my butt cheeks and licked a line down to my clit as I moaned in pleasure, "Eli…please."

He sighed happily and sat back up.

I heard frantic rustling and assumed it was him taking off his boxers and putting on condom. When I heard the rip of the plastic, it always sounded like beautiful music to my ears, I smiled.

After a few seconds, Eli pushed into me slowly from behind.

I closed my eyes and arched my hips in pleasure, trying to help Eli out as best as I could. This was one of my favorite positions, as Eli's penis pushed more firmly against me. Eli's chest pressed against my back as we grinded into each other and my neck craned up as I moaned in delight. Eli thrusted slow into my ass slowly, rotating his hips in the process.

We came together, crying out each other's name.

Eli threw out the used condom and dropped beside me, spooning me. I felt Eli place a caring peck on my cheek and soon, I felt Eli's hot breath on my neck and he started snoring.

Eli.

My love, my life.

He was dying before me and I couldn't do anything about it. It sucks; it really sucks knowing that the one who you are fully devoted to has no control of their faith. But, I couldn't just sit there perfectly healthy while Eli suffered from the fatal blood disease.

I gingerly got out of bed, the tears staying in my eyes as I tried to be strong. I walked into the bathroom and looked through my bag, finding a little steel razor. I sat down on the tiled floor and pressed the sharp blade to my stomach, cutting the skin, watching my blood trickle down my abdomen, my navel and then it disappeared into the hair on my crotch.

My mind tried to process what I had just done, because I haven't done that in eleven months.

I crawled back in bed with Eli, but, put a distance between us, crying silently.

"Clare?" Eli asked with a sleepy voice.

"Yes?" I asked softly, trying to disguise my voice so that he couldn't hear the crack due to my tears.

Eli took a deep breath as he whispered loudly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course," I whispered reassuringly, still facing the wall of

his bedroom.

He motioned me to move closer while saying, "Well, come here."

I smiled weakly and crawled into his arms. He whispered, "I love you, Clare. Don't ever forget that." I nodded and kissed his lips before whispering, "I love you too."

The next morning came quickly and I awoke to Eli's arms wrapped tightly around me. I smiled subconsciously and kissed his fingers, lifting them up and nipping them gently as I giggled.

"Clare Edwards: the man-eater," Eli said behind me.

I rolled over and frowned, "You have a bloody nose." I quickly stood to my feet and got up to get him a towel so that the blood wouldn't get all over the clothes or the sheets that Cece had probably just washed.

"Don't worry Clare, it's a little one," he responded, throwing a hand down.

I came into bed and kneeled in front of him, pressing the towel lightly to his nose. Just then, CeCe barged in holding two large suitcases with an aberrant design.

"Ok, you two. We're leaving in 15 minutes so start packing-" She dropped the suitcases and walked over to us, "Oh baby boy, are you okay? Does it hurt?" She asked while touching his nose gently.

"Mom, It's fine, just a little bloody nose," Eli pushed her hand away and CeCe kissed both our heads while saying, "Get packing."

We were going to stay at their cabin for two nights, Saturday and Sunday, and come home Monday night. Even though this was considered a "vacation", I still worried. Eli is getting skinnier and weaker every day, like he's becoming a new person.

It was summer break, so we thought it would be a perfect time to go up to the cabin.

We were soon off driving down the freeway with CeCe and Bullfrog in front and Adam, Eli, and I squished together in the back. Adam, Eli and I were playing a word game where we go around and say a word, each new word adds on and we make up a story.

"The," Eli said, starting off the game

"Elephant,"I continued, grinning.

"Sat," Adam said, smiling devilishly at both of us.

The game went on and on.

"Okay so what we have so far is, 'The elephant sat on a man and ate a banana while ice skating though the beach'. Wow, okay my turn to start," Adam blurted.

It was cheesy and stupid, but, fun. We were all laughing, including CeCe and Bullfrog.

"One" Adam started.

"Day"

"A"

"Beautiful"

"Girl"

Eli flashed me a flirtatious smirk as he continued, "Was" "named" "Clare Edwards"

Adam protest by telling Eli 'Clare Edwards' is two words but he was too busy kissing me on the mouth, "You're too good to me, Eli," I whispered against his lips.

"Hey!" Bullfrog shouted, making us part and frown, "PDA waits until we're at the cabin," he playfully scolded.

I blushed and Eli wrapped an arm around me.

Adam scoffed playfully, "Why did I agree to go on this trip? If I knew you guys would be all over each other then I would've-"

"Oh come on Adam, you know you love hanging around us. We're such a cute couple," Eli chuckled, interrupting Adam's whining.

Adam muttered incoherent words under his breath and I just smiled at him.

It took about two hours to get there.

We were all hungry and tired, even though it was only noon. Eli's head rested on my lap as he slept with his arms wrapped around himself. Adam was playing on his phone but as soon as the car stopped in front of the big oak-stained wood house, he leaped out of the car and raced towards the door.

Adam and I have been up here lots of times with Eli and his parent's. Adam really loves it here, claiming that it's a way to get away from his nagging mom and love-sick brother, be with his friends and have a good time by the lake.

CeCe and Bullfrog started to unpack as I gently shook Eli, waking him. I slowly ran my fingers over his soft skin above his cranium, massaging his scalp. Eli groaned lowly, keeping his eyes clenched tightly shut.

He was fatigued.

Another sign…

"Hey sweetie, Eli?" I whispered leaning down and kissing his ear, feeling the softness of his external pale covering against my lips.

Eli stirred in his sleep, "Clare? Where are we?"

He turned again, his face now buried deep in my thighs.

I giggled, "We're here, at your cabin. Do you want to go in and have some lunch or do you want to rest some more?"

"Our, our cabin." He mumbled, his nose still in my lap.

"What?" I asked, half from surprise and half because I couldn't hear all that great.

"It's our cabin, from now on. My house – it's your house too. My stuff it's yours - ours. I'm yours. I'm yours and you're mine," as the words left his dry lips, I fought back tears and nodded.

I don't know how long we stayed like that.

But, I know I fell asleep and my stomach aching woke me up. It rumbled uncontrollably, and that's when I realized how hungry I was.

"Eli, I'm going to go get something to eat, want to come inside with me?" I said a little desperately, wanting to eat.

"I'm not hungry, stay with me," he ordered, clearly not up for debate.

He held onto my waist tight.

About a half an hour later, I started to get agitated. Eli wouldn't let me leave the car and my stomach was making noises that I couldn't control at this point. All Eli wanted to do was sleep, which, I wouldn't mind if I was able to eat.

I tried to leave his arms and he started thrashing around violently, "Eli? Eli! Pease stop!"

"Stay with me. I don't want to leave," He whined loudly.

"Eli, I need you to calm down, I'm doing this for your own good," with that I pushed the door open and yanked his body out of the car. Eli screamed the most horrible scream I have ever witnessed escape his trembling lips.

He fell to the muddy ground, his body being covered with leaves.

"Eli!" I quickly grabbed onto his arm, trying to help his weak body to his feet.

"Don't. Touch. Me," he ordered through gritted teeth.

My cheeks soon became water stained and I tasted the salty wetness run down to my lips, quickly seeping into the crack of my lips.

"What happened?" Adam asked, oblivious to the situation before his own eyes.

I ignored him.

"Clare, don't cry. It's my fucking joints, my fucking hips and left knee. It feels like they're burning," he groaned, his hands clenched tightly together with pain.

Joint pain: discomfort, inflammation, increased warmth or burning, soreness, or stiffness.

Another fucking sign…

So, that's why he didn't want to leave the car.

"Why didn't you tell me?" This is what I wanted to say, but, instead I asked, "Can you move?"

"I don't think- ahh!" Tears streamed out of Eli's eyes as he hissed in pain.

He banged his fists onto the ground, completely frustrated with himself as I said, "Eli, you need to calm down and relax. I'm going to go get one of your pain killers and some water and ice."

My feet went quicker than the time we first had to bring Eli to the hospital for his excessively bloody nose, as I ran up to the cabin.

Bullfrog and Cece always have pills for Eli, even though Eli says it's not necessary.

"CeCe, it's Eli. His joints, t-they're hurting him. He needs his pills," I said a little frantically after finding CeCe in the kitchen, disturbing her session of putting away dishes.

She nods, "Get some ice and water for him. I'll get his pills."

I turned to the freezer and put some ice cubes in a little baggy, gripping it tightly in my hand as I grabbed a glass of water.

An hour later, Eli was propped up on the couch in front of the TV with a glass of water in his hand. His hips were feeling much better, or so he claims, but, his knee was still stiff.

This time, I was not next him.

I wasn't massaging his body or kissing his temple while I held onto him. No, I was outside by the lake, eating an apple and tossing rocks into the water. I was mad, but, mostly distraught. I just couldn't get it through my mind that Eli was dying.

My head kept going back and forth.

"He's dying," I heard a whisper in my head as I continued to shake my head while whispering to myself, "No, n-no he's not."

I couldn't help but cry. But, at this point, I was kind of tired of crying. I had to do something, anything. And that something, isn't crying. It isn't waiting or cutting, even though that helped.

I laid down, my back flat against the dusty, dirt filled ground, closing my eyes.

A few minutes later, I heard rustling in the bush behind me, "Hello?" I asked sitting up.

Adam came out with dirt on his cheeks and leaves in his t-shirt.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" I asked chuckling as he said calmly, "Oh, you know, exploring the woods."

I nodded and looked down, playing with the dirt absentmindedly. I felt Adam come and sit by me and ask with concern in his voice, "So, how's Eli?"

"Fine, I think."

"You think? Aren't you two attached at the hip? I mean, is something wrong? It's not that I don't enjoy it, but, you guys are always all lovey-dovey and PDA-ing. Are you and Eli okay?" Adam asked with concern.

"Yes – it's just, I don't get why Eli didn't tell me his body was hurting. He kept me in the car because he didn't to want to move because of the joint pain. I don't get it, I would have understood," I said while releasing a confused sigh.

It took Adam a minute to respond, "Eli knows you're hurting and I think that he didn't want to tell you because in reality, it would just hurt you more."

I sigh, "Eli and I have been through so much. I just… I don't know what to do. How do you deal?"

"Well, I distract myself. I keep myself busy and I also cherish every moment I have with you guys," He put an arm around me and he said playfully, "I love both of you guys…in a non-awkward kind of way."

"I love you too, Adam," I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying being in my best friend's arms.

"Hey! What the hell is going on here?" We turned and saw Eli limping towards us with his jaw clenched and eyes flaming. Eli dropped the little cane that he had used to balance on and ran over to Adam, pushing him up against the tree hard.

"Eli, stop!" I pleaded, begging him to let Adam go.

He ignored me and gripped onto Adam's shirt, clenching his fists, "This is your plan, Huh? Wait for me to die and then let Clare run into your arms! Huh?"

It's the disease messing with his mind…

"Dude, no! We were just talking!" Adam tried to convince him...oh, he tried so hard.

"Oh yeah? You were practically rubbing up against her! Your dirty little fingers were touching her!" Eli shouted, pushing Adam into the tree's trunk with force.

"Eli please stop! I'm right here," I interjected, putting myself between them.

I cupped his cheeks, "I'm here, babe. I'm not leaving." I stepped forward making Eli part from Adam and cup my hips. I could feel Adam's chest heaving against my back with fear.

"B-but he had his arms around you-," I stopped Eli's words by rubbing the back of his head slowly and interjected, "Shhh, Eli your paranoid."

I interrupted, "We were hugging. We weren't kissing or flirting. You know we're friends, and friends hug."

Eli looked lost, "You're right, I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

I kissed his lips softly, his warm breath engulfing my mouth and then when he pulled away, I whispered, "You need to you apologize to Adam." I unwrapped myself from him and he turned to him, "I'm sorry, man. I don't know what came over me."

"Dude, it's fine, I get it," they did a little fist bump and I giggled.

"Oh, you think it's funny?" Eli accused playfully, stepping closer to me. I bit my lip and responded, "It's a little funny."

Before I knew what was going on, Eli had threw me over his shoulder and chucked my body into the freezing lake.

"Ahh!" I screamed hitting the water, "Oh you're going to pay for that Goldsworthy," I exclaimed as he and Adam laughed till tears streamed down their cheeks. I ran up to Eli and pulled on his pants, making him slip on the little cliff that separated land from water and he fell in.

I laughed, "You're next Adam!"

He stepped back, "Noooo thanks."

I smirked mischievously and pulled him in.

We started playing cat and mouse, with Eli and Adam chasing after me.

Eli caught up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, twirling me around in the water. When he put me down, I turned to face him and wrapped my legs around his hips to hold onto his neck. We swayed in the water together until Adam splashed us while saying, "You guys are gross."

Eli and I exchanged looks then we both swam up to him and dunked him in the water while laughing our heads off.

After swimming for a while, we all decided to head in for a snack.

I sat on Eli's lap as I fed him a strawberry and I giggled playfully, hanging the strawberry in front of his face, teasing him, "Open wide." He snuck a kiss on my lips before opening his mouth.

Later that night, after dinner with CeCe, Bullfrog and Adam, Eli and I decided to go on a walk.

"So…how are you doing?" I asked quietly as we held hands and walked on a path through the darkened woods. I always loved going on these quiet, dark, mysterious walks with Eli.

"No matter how much pain I'm in...When I look at you, the pain, it goes away. When I touch you, I get better. When I kiss you, I'm healed," Eli told me while looking down at me. I stopped, wondering who said that. Palahniuk, Auden, Poe, Dickinson…?

"Who said that?" I asked, completely blown away because it must have been a poet I did not know.

"Me."

A single tear carelessly fell from my eye. We stared into each other's eyes, memorizing this moment. I finally broke down and kissed him. Our tears mixed as our tongues and saliva clashed. I broke it and started dragging him along, "Come on."

I led him to the moonlit water where sand connected, the wet and dry. He didn't say anything as I slid off his jacket with my hands, our eyes never leaving each other's for a second. I stripped him of his shirt and he smirked when I went down on my knees to undo his belt. I unbuttoned his pants with my teeth, and shed him of his boxers.

Crickets rang through the air, along with our frantic breaths as Eli took over and pulled the careless material of my shirt above my head. He smiled lovingly and slowly unhooked my bra, letting it fall to the ground.

Eye connection…

His big and rough hands smoothed their way down to my shorts.

Eli took off my shorts and kneeled in front of me. He put his mouth on my hip, his teeth drug down my body until my panties were off. His hands held onto my calf as he licked a wet trail with his tongue up my leg, up to my exposed thigh. Eli's hands caressed my ankle and knee as he kissed my thighs.

I pulled him up and took his hand, walking him into the silky sand and into the warm water.

Small waves crashed up against our shins as we walked hand in hand together, further into the deep blue. My heart must have been racing faster than Eli's at this point, because the look he was giving me made my knee caps grown weak.

The water rose to the underside of my breasts and we stopped.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck, sucking and leaving a temporary red mark. Eli moaned inside his throat and picked up my legs, holding me bridal style so he could look at my body.

Before I could process it, we kissed again.

It was a fast, hungry kiss. Our lips were moving faster than our minds as his tongue pushed through my parted lips and began to explore my mouth. When I wanted to pull away to take a breath, Eli deepened the kiss by engulfing my lips and breathing down my throat.

This action resulted in pure ecstasy.

Eli switched my position so his penis was thrusting up against my pelvic region. The friction was so intense that I panted loudly in this ear, trying to hold onto him because of the way he was moving, it was too erratic for my body to keep up.

"Clare, every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet," He squeezed my butt gently, his cool breath hitting my ear.

"Plato."

"The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person," He sucked on my nipple.

"Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters"

"You know your stuff," Eli chuckled.

"I read. I research," I panted.

Eli chuckled again and put two fingers in my opening under the water.

"Ahh! E-Eli!" I moaned, and my knees buckled under his powerful touches.

He saw I was having trouble standing, so he took me back to the sand where the waves would crash up. He laid on top of me and kissed my collarbone, making me giggle. One hand stroked my nipple while the other rubbed my clit vigorously.

"Oh G-God, Eli!" I held onto his shoulders tightly. I felt myself coming to my peak as I screamed out his name. His lips moved to the wet skin below my pubic hair as I panted. But, soon enough, I took control and kissed him harshly, making him fall back on the wet sand.

I licked each of his nipples and put a hand on his erection.

"Clare," he breathed out.

My lips curled into a grin as I slithered down his skinny pale body.

"I love you," I whispered before taking his hard penis into my mouth. My tongue swirled the tip, tasting his saltiness as Eli groaned in approval. I pumped my hand up and down while my lips sucked hard at the head. My other hand went down and rubbed his scrotum.

After a few minutes, I could tell Eli was getting close to his end.

He reached down and grabbed my hair roughly, but not intending to do so. Lifting his hips, he fucked my mouth. I gagged a bit, but, put up with it as he moaned, "God, Clare I love you."

Boys and their hormones…

I giggled and the vibration set him over the edge, filling my mouth with his sticky semen. I gulped it down and laid down next to him, the water blanketing us.

Maybe, just maybe we'll get through it…

Two weeks later.

Two short weeks.

I'm sitting in a hospital room; my love is on the bed, lying limply.

The sound of the heart monitor fills the room.

Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep

I'm clutching his hand securely, as if it could disappear any moment.

His parents are crying silently across the room.

Bullfrog and Cece's faces have never been paler, never been more distraught. The expressions, their facial expressions, have never read 'depression' clearer than right now.

I'm kneeling next him, as I whisper, "Eli, please, you can't go yet. You just can't go...you can't! I still have three weeks with you. Three weeks with you, please." My tears stained the hospital's bed sheets.

When we got home from the cabin, we went to the doctor to see if anything had changed. He said that Eli had unfortunately got an infection. His immune system is crashing and every second he breathes in air, he could die.

Two weeks later Eli was unresponsive.

We were looking through my tenth grade yearbook at the time. There was one picture of Eli and I. Eli had his arms wrapped around my waist and he was kissing my cheek. I smiled and leaned up, burying my face in his neck, smelling his woodsy cologne.

"Eli?"

Nothing.

"Eli, babe?"

Nothing.

I looked up to see Eli with his eyes lids closed lightly. At first, I thought he was sleeping, but, then I saw his nose start to bleed heavily and my hand moved onto his forehead out of instinct, to check if he had a fever.

He did.

He's hanging in there, as oxygen gets pumped into his weak lungs.

"Please, Eli. Please," I begged Eli to fight, fight to stay here with me.

Although my begging, my pleading and my strong words weren't working at the moment, I couldn't help but continue to do all three things because I can't except that the love of my life is dying.

Not even, if he is dying right before my tear filled eyes.

This is it, he's going to go.

Eli. My, my life. Dying before me…

Author's note: Okay, so that wasn't the last chapter. I have one more and then an epilogue.

I really don't like this story. I don't like how it's written…ugh….sorry guys! It was way better in my head! So please forgive me but hey at least Maislinn or Jaislinn is happy!