Author's note: Hello again! I really think you're going to enjoy this chapter. Please review and tell me what you think.
Special thanks: My beta The Cliffhanger Girl
Updates: All my focus is on Maislinn or Jaislinn right now.
My heart raced erratically when I opened my eyes slowly to find myself on an unfamiliar white bed, in a foreign white room.
Eli…
I had my arms wrapped tightly around myself, as if that would fulfill my feel of loneliness. My mascara smudged, on the white pillow beneath me. It's funny how tears manage to fall even when you're sleeping.
Eli…
My vision was slightly blurred from left over tears that were crusting over my dry eyelids.
Eli…
My cerebral cortex was racing with thoughts, my body racing with emotions...that I couldn't find. No matter how hard I tried to recover mentally and physically in a short amount of time, I couldn't.
My memory is scarred, forever.
Eli. Eli. Eli.
He died.
He left me and now he's in heaven, he left me behind in this cold, dark world...all alone.
Fresh tears, coming from my lachrymal glands, streamed down my face as my eyelids grew heavy and although I fought the darkness, I couldn't help but black out again...
He left me…
I woke up, fear embracing my body.
It hit me.
I rolled off the hard white cot screaming, "Eli!" Over and over again, hoping he could just magically appear so I could wrap my arms around him. If he were to appear, I know that he would hold me and kiss my cheeks saying, "I'm here. I'm never leaving, ever. You're stuck with me."
Even though I knew that wouldn't happen, I prayed for it to.
My feet stumbled to the door as tears that were being held back, unleashed down my flushed cheeks.
I reached for the spinning nob and twisted, putting pressure on the door, as if trying to get out of an insane asylum. My hysteric cries echoed through the hospital hallways and rooms.
Patients stared with a half sympathetic and half confused stare.
I didn't care…
I was looking through every room and each hallway.
Looking for him.
"Clare? Clare! Clare!"
I ignored the person, the person that was probably mocking my innocence and quickened my pace, screaming out the one word, the one name, the one person that changed my life, "Eli!"
"Clare! I'm here!"
My body slowly turned around, only to see a boy with no hair in grey sweatpants and a black v-neck.
Eli used to wear that.
I turned back around, knowing it was my imagination tricking me into thinking Eli's still here...but, he's not.
This boy wasn't giving up, my heart raced as I heard fast footsteps coming towards me, "Clare!"
I faced the boy and hissed, "You're not real!"
Too late.
Before I knew it, his arms engulfed my body.
"I'm here, baby, I'm right here. It's me," his cool breath hit my cheek, causing goosebumps to rise on my spine and an instant shudder which caused the boy to tighten his grip on my weak body.
"No, no, no. You're not real. You're dead!"I screamed at him and backed away, ripping out of his tight grip.
"Clare, no it's me. I'm not dead. You saved me. Please. I'm real, I'm here," he whispered, pleading for me to believe him.
This can't be real, he can't be...
My mind raced to last night. "Eli...," I whispered, water bleeding from my eyes. Our tears crashed together as our faces touched. We kissed fast, our lips moving in sync and rhythm, "You were in a state of prolonged unconsciousness, a coma." I breathed and kissed his lips again, allowing with tongue to come in and play as his sweet saliva coated my pink oral opening.
"…and I woke up from it. I'm okay. The fever was a symptom that caused the bloody nose. I was bleeding in the layers of my brain which caused a toxic-metabolic encephalopathy coma. Clare, I'm fine. I-It's going to be okay."
I stared up at him with awe as his eyes glistened when I began to speak softly, "T-The leukemia, it's gone?"
He chuckled, "No, but we have time."
Our bodies were pressed together and people were staring, but I didn't care.
I had my Eli.
"Eli, I know we're young, but, I just want you to know that I'm completely and totally in love with you and t-that I don't think I could ever love someone else like I love you. You will always be mine. You will always be my other half."
"Oh Clare…" I knew Eli's mind was conflicted. "I'm in love with you too. I have been in love with you ever since our first kiss. I know that sounds stupid, but I knew… I knew that we would make it."
Our hands interlocked as he squeezed them together tightly, smirking back at me.
"Come on, I have to show you something," Eli said, pulling me close to his ice cold chest. I buried my face into his neck as he linked his arm around my waist. I took in his essence as he led me.
Eli led me back to the room where I had frighteningly woken up in and I smirked when he took me to the bed, "Hospital bed sex? Kinky, Eli."
He laughed, "That's hot – but, I actually want to give you something," I smiled a little when he pulled me to the bed.
Eli placed his hands on my thighs, making me sit down on the white cotton sheets.
He walked to his bag across the egg shell cream walls and pulled something out, something that I could not see because his back had been turned. He came back and sat down next to me, "Clare, uh…err. Before I go," Tears were welling up in my eyes when he spoke those words.
"Clare, I don't know how to express how much you mean to me and how much I love you but, I, uh…got you this-," a little black velvet box was in his big hands as I glared down at it, my heart racing.
He opened it and I saw the most beautiful ring in the world looking up at me, "I'm not proposing, but, I just love you so much that I thought that when you miss me or feel like you're alone, just look down at this ring and I'll be there. I will always be with you, always," He slipped the ring on my finger where my purity ring used to be and I looked at it intently, noticing faint writing: You will always be my Blue Eyes, my love, my life, my other half, my everything.
Then we made love, squished together, in the small bed.
Slow, sensual, love. Tears mixed with sweat and moans mixed with pleasurable sighs.
It wasn't the kind of love that's just sex; it was the kind of love that comes from a fairy tale.
When Eli was filling me, his eyes had unfortunately glanced down at my scarred stomach.
Fuck.
The one time I don't put concealer on my scar...
Right above my navel, there it was, a long dark streak.
At first I didn't know why he stopped. Maybe he was hurting, but when I saw his dark lust-filled eyes stare down at the skin covering my small intestine, I knew what had happened.
He saw.
"Clare...?" His eyes were innocent and caring. He pulled out and I instantly felt sensitive, "You said you stopped."
"I-I did, Eli, I did. But I just – I want to feel your pain. I'm healthy and you're sick and always in pain. I want to feel pain because I know you're feeling one hundred times worse. Please understand-,"
He cut me off, "How could you?" he yelled as more water fell from his tear ducts.
"Eli calm down, please," I sat up on the bed as he got up and paced the room, his hand scratching his scalp.
He was getting antsy.
Eli ran over to me and harshly bellowed with his hot breath fanning my face, "How the hell could you hurt yourself? Huh! You're only hurting me! You want me to be in more pain? Huh, Clare?" He grabbed my arms in a bruising grip, "Eli, please. It hurts."
He dropped his hands and I could see his jaw clenched with eyes in tight slits. He forcefully pushed my chest down so I was lying on my back, "Eli what are you-,"
I felt Eli kiss my stomach where the dark mark was. He held my hips down lightly as he kissed the scar gently and licked it a few times, "Don't ever do that again, Clare. Please, it kills me." his voice was strained and filled with anguish against my skin.
I rubbed his head and closed my eyes, "I-I won't, I promise."
Eli is getting sicker and sicker.
Everyday he's more colorless and skinnier than the day before.
It's been about a week and Eli and I were inseparable. We were milking the time we had left. I must have cried myself to sleep every night, whether it was after making love or just going right to sleep, but it didn't help me accept reality.
I wanted to cut so badly, but, I didn't for...Eli.
We were currently having a picnic at our favorite park, the reason it was our favorite, because here, no one can tell us what do and no one can pull us apart when we needed to be with each other.
Eli and I were cuddled up on a blanket as he feed me carrot sticks and fruit dipped in a white fluffy substance.
We were laughing and talking about distant memories.
"Hey, remember when I took you to an ice rink?" Eli asked as I nestled more firmly against him, "We were skating together, holding hands and you tripped and fell right on your ass," I finished and I couldn't help but burst out in a tiny fit of laughter.
"Hey, it was like my first time…" Eli defended.
I smirked. "Yeah, sure it was…" I whispered sarcastically.
After a minute Eli leaned in close to the soft, pendulous lower part of my external ear, grazing it before whispering, "Remember what happened afterward? We went back to your house, you claimed you wanted to 'make me feel good' and then I did the old 'oh you don't have to' and then you did the 'but I want to' thing. Then, you gave me the most amazing blowjob and ass massage ever."
My giggles had become uncontrollable from the way Eli had mocked out my voice.
I blushed and nudged his chest, "Eli," I dragged, "I wasn't that good."
Eli scoffed and pulled me closer, "How do you know? Were you the one getting the blowjob? I think not missy and trust me Edwards, your mouth can do magic. The way you can put all of me in your mou-,"
"I get it!"
I smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth while whispering, "…but, thank you."
We sat like that for a long time, watching the sunset and exchanging some of the best memories of our lives spent together. Eli even pushed me on the swing, stealing kisses and looks up my skirt.
All that I did was roll my eyes and grin because I was enjoying it just as much as he was.
"Jump!" Eli smirked as he stepped in front of the swing, as it continued to move back and forth above the ground.
"No! I don't want to hurt you," I said, biting my lip.
"Clare, come on….For me?" Eli said eerily, with an innocent glint in his eyes.
I frowned and said, "Okay, 1….2….3!" I swung my body off the black seat and chains only to fly into the air for a quick two seconds. Before I knew it, I was on top of Eli, straddling his hips. He chuckled and cupped my thighs.
I pouted, "Not funny."
Eli smirked and clutched my shirt, bringing my lips down to his. My face soon relaxed as his mouth massaged over mine, his hands on either side of my neck and cheeks as I moaned in the back of my throat when he tugged on my hair gently.
I pulled away, but still cupped his cheeks, stroking them gently with my thumbs as he put his hands back down to my butt, "I'm really glad we met and are sharing this time-," I stopped when Eli frowned and rolled his eyes, "What's wrong?" I asked sitting up on his stomach.
"Can we please for five seconds stop talking about me dying?" His voice was stern and annoyed.
"Eli-,"
"Just stop! Can we please just enjoy the time we have together and not be reminded of me dying in maybe two weeks? I don't like being constantly reminded that I'm being cheated of my own life and I can't help it!"
His sudden outburst made me quickly crawl off him, "I'm sorry," I stated softly, bowing my head.
I started to get up and pack up our picnic.
"Clare, I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry," Eli said as I felt his presents come near me. He knelt next to me and stroked my back. I shrugged it off saying, "Let's go home."
When we got home, I went straight up to our room, requesting him not to follow me. I flopped onto the bed tiredly, sighing and closing my eyes. Eli was right, we should be spending time together. Even though I know I shouldn't have said anything, it was too late.
My mind had finally stopped racing, which resulted in me drifting off to sleep a little while later...
I woke up to darkness and a black comforter shielding my body.
My eyes glanced over at the alarm clock and read that it was almost midnight. I sighed heavily and snuggled up to Eli, but, all I felt was more soft fabric and pillows. My eyebrow scrunched together as my hand flicked the light switch on.
I sat up and found an empty bed, aside from me.
My body slowly got out of bed and noticed that I had only my light blue boy shorts and spaghetti strap on. Eli must've changed and tucked me in, which Eli did for me all the time when I was too tired to do it myself.
I wandered down the dark hall to the steps and soon heard voices and gun shots. "Ha! Got ya! And you said I was losing…" A familiar male voice said.
Adam…?
My feet made its way down the stairs and to the living room where I found Eli and Adam with game controllers gripped tightly in hand. I smiled and walked over to Eli. He soon noticed me and picked me up, bringing me over to the couch to lay on him. "Hey sweetie, what are you doing up?" Eli asked softly while caressing my cheek.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to be as close to him as possible, "I-I woke up and you weren't there. I got scared."
"I can go…" Adam interjected breaking our eye contact.
"No, no, it's fine. Stay," I said quietly, "You guys have fun. I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was okay..." I smiled weakly and got off Eli's lap.
Eli started to protest but I stopped him and told him I was fine and that he should have some fun with his best friend. After all, Eli needs a little guy time and some time to realize that I'm not the only one who is in his life.
"I'll be up in a minute," Eli said, kissing the tip of my nose. I smiled shyly and nodded.
I waddled tiredly up the stairs and when I was about to go back into our room, I heard Adam ask, "So, how are you doing? With the…you know…"
My eyebrows tightened when I heard Eli chuckle and say, "I think the better question is how Clare is doing."
"I don't follow?" Adam asked cluelessly.
"Nothing man, It's just…Clare started cutting again," he whispered frustratingly. What the hell? Why would he tell Adam that? It was one time.
"Can you promise that after I'm gone, you'll protect her, Adam?" Eli asked in a hopeful tone.
"Of course! Hey, she's my friend too so, I would always protect her, no matter what," Adam said quickly. They smiled and bumped fists happily.
I sighed when I heard Eli ask,"Wanna' get some sleep?"
"Sure, you can crash on the couch or you could sleep in my be-,"
"Dude," Adam gave Eli a warning look as I peered down the steps through the thin wooden poles that followed the steps.
"What? We're friends. Come on, it's about time the 'Misfits' have a sleepover," Eli said excitingly.
I figured they would come up now, so I quickly got up and hustled to our room, throwing myself onto the bed and snuggling into the covers. I was surprised when a half an hour later they didn't come up.
"-and I was like, 'What the hell?'" I heard Adam tell Eli as he chuckled obnoxiously, stumbling into our room.
They've been drinking…
"I didn't know what to do. I was seriously in deep shi-,"
"Adam! Sshh, C-Clare's sleeping," Eli told Adam. His words were slurred and I could barely make out what he was saying.
"Sorry, sorry."
I heard a few rustles and belches and after a moment, I soon felt a warm body take me into their arms. I smelt beer on their breath and then, I felt another body next to me.
"Hey Eli, ever thought of fucking Clare in her sleep? You know going as hard as you want," Adam said in a 'hushed' tone.
"Ha – Who wouldn't? But, I would never. I don't think I would have enough energy to even last the amount of time I would need without her awake," Eli whispered and kissed me on the cheek.
"So I was thinking, we should all go out tomorrow to a club. You know, just drink and have a good time?"
Adam asked questionably, even though I could hear the 'please come' in his voice.
"That would be awesome, but Clare and I were supposed to go to dinner and a movie tomorrow night," Eli sighed.
"We can go," I stated softly, peeking my head from the covers reveling a stunned Eli.
"Clare? Wha – were you awake the whole time?" He asked, a smirk curling up on that beautiful face of his.
I smiled, nodding, "I want to go to a club with you and Adam."
To reassure him, I leaned up and kissed his neck, chin, and jaw.
"Really?"
"Yes."
Eli wrapped his arms tightly around me as I turned over to face Adam. Adam and I faced each other, holding each other's hands, as my butt was pressed against Eli's crotch...
The next morning had come quicker than I thought and unfortunately, Eli wasn't feeling well at all.
We stayed in bed all day and I was trying so hard to convince him not to go to the club tonight.
"Eli please…," I begged.
Our legs were tangled as our breath hit each other's face from the proximity. One of our hands rested on each other's panty and boxer-clad butt while the others were holding each other.
His face was pale and weak, barely showing emotion. His dark sage eyes were drooping with purple bags.
"Clare, I just wanna' grind with you one last time…please," he whispered pleadingly.
Tears unexplainably ran down my cheeks, as did his.
"Eli…," I nuzzled my face into his bare chest, my breath hitting his cool skin. I scratched at his back, wanting to get as close as possible, for him. Without a doubt, I inched closer and whispered, "Okay."
Later that day, Eli's family and I went around Toronto seeing Eli's grandma, grandpa, cousins, aunts, uncles, saying 'hi' and 'goodbye'.
Eli wanted to see everyone that he loves before he goes…
We headed to Eli's grandma's house which was forty five minutes away. Eli loved his grandma and spent a lot of his time at her little cottage up in Bayview Woods when he ever felt he needed to get away from life, escape problems.
It was getting late and if we wanted to go to the club with Adam we could only stay at Eli's grandma's house for about an hour.
Bullfrog was driving with one hand on the wheel while the other was gripped tightly in CeCe's shaky hand. I smiled at them, wishing they were like my parents, which they were sort of…not biological of course, but they were always there for me when my parents weren't.
"Excited to see your grandma baby boy?" CeCe asked, craning her neck to look at Eli whose head was nestled up in the crook of my neck. He was pressing light kisses on the flushed skin covering the narrow passage from my mouth to my stomach.
Eli was feeling much better when he dry-swallowed a pill this morning, making the fatigue go away temporarily. Lately he's been very romantic and wouldn't stop touching me. All day we've been teasing each other and all the tension between us was building…
"Ahem," CeCe said firmly, pretending to clear her throat.
"Eli stop," I giggled, but for the sake of Cece and Bullfrog's 'innocent' eyes, I pushed him away.
Eli obviously forgot we were in a car with his parents when he growled, "Why? You look so hot right now."
"Okay enough you two…" Bullfrog shouted playfully looking in the rear view mirror. A bright red color cascaded across my cheeks when Eli gave me one last kiss on the neck and I looked away from a grinning Bullfrog.
"Anyway," CeCe cut in, "How long do you guys want to stay? Don't you two love birds have something with Adam tonight?"
"Yeah we're going clu-," Eli covered my mouth, "What Clare means is we're going…to the mall, yup, just the mall…"
CeCe didn't look convinced but didn't ask any more questions. I licked Eli's pale white fingers through my parted lips to make him let go. Eli's only reaction was, "Oh naïve Clare, you know I love when you lick my body especially my-," I cut him quickly off, knowing his parents were only inches away from us. "Eli!" I screeched after tearing his hand away from my mouth.
He chuckled, "Sorry…"
I quickly kissed his cheek, "Forgiven."
We made it Eli's grandma's house and I was really excited to see her. We met a while ago and I just adored her. It was like seeing Eli, in an elderly woman version...okay that sounded creepy but she had the funny and witty humor Eli did.
Eli and I held hands as we walked up to the cute little blue door. Eli rang the doorbell and shortly after a shrill little woman came to the door, "Eli baby, and Clare sweetie! And the Goldsworthy couple! Come in, come in."
"Gosh, I still can't believe you have this amazing home. I love it Mrs. Goldsworthy," I smiled while looking around her huge house.
Eli's granddad past away but, he owned a construction company which made him earn a lot of money.
"Why thank you darlin' but please call me grandma Pokey," That was her nick-name in the old days.
Later on, we were all sitting on the backyard rock-base patio watching the sun set over the lake. We were all talking and catching up on things. I was sipping on some green mint tea while Eli and I were lying together on an outdoor adjustable lounge chair. He had his arms around my waist, pulling me to him.
CeCe and grandma 'Pokey' were talking about a baby story of Eli, which I actually really liked to hear. Eli was trying to distract me by squeezing my butt and telling dirty jokes in my ear.
"Come on E-Eli...I wanna hear your mom's story about your bubble bath times...," I giggled while pinching his cheeks between my fingers.
"You're asking for it Edwards!" Eli playfully attacked my sides with his trembling fingers, tickling my stomach and sides. I was giggling uncontrollably and didn't notice that all eyes were on us.
"Ahh! Eli!" I screamed loudly, not being able to contain my laughter.
I started hitting his chest repeatedly, not giving up this fight.
"Oh, you're going to pay for that," Before I could take in what was happening Eli threw me over his shoulder, once again, and ran off with me off the dock and into the water.
I held onto Eli tightly, gripping his shoulders, afraid of how deep it was.
"Ellii! Now I'm cold!" I groaned while hanging onto him tightly, trying to get as much warmth as I could. Eli kissed my icy blue lips and responded, "Sorry, baby."
After a minute, I smirked mischievously and dunked his head under the water, laughing uncontrollably. I giggled and swam away from him when he started chasing and splashing me.
"Okay kids, time to go!" CeCe and Bullfrog shouted from the dock after about a half an hour of swimming and making out in the water.
Eli sloppily kissed me one more time before leading me out of the water. Unfortunately though, Eli had convinced me to take off my shirt and shorts so I was even colder than before. Eli held me close as we climbed on the dock grabbing the towels CeCe brought out earlier. I shivered and pressed my wet curls to his chest.
"I-I'm c-cold Eli," I whined and he opened up his towel so I could get closer to him. He smirked, re-wrapping the towel around me as my trembling, frigid, goosebump filled body pressed up against his warm chest.
When we arrived back at home, it was about nine o'clock and Eli had kindly suggested we leave to pick up Adam at about nine thirty.
Eli and I were up in his – our room and I was peeling off my wet clothes, "Hey, wanna take a shower with me?" I asked, turning to Eli with nothing covering my body except some fresh panties and a blue bra I was holding.
Eli turned to face me and he instantly eyed my naked form. I giggled, not being able to hold back a smile when I saw a bulge behind his wet dark tan shorts and his stuttering words, "I – uh…um…gah…"
I smirked mentally, loving that I still have that effect on him.
After a second of mumbling Eli bowed his head and frowned, "No, go ahead, you can take one."
"Is something wrong? I mean you always want to take showers together." I explained, concern in my voice, knowing that Eli always loved to be close together at any time, because whenever we had those 'moments' we knew, we could make it last forever.
"Just leave it Clare."
And that's exactly what I did, I went into the bathroom without another word being said.
Eli never rejects me...unless he's – Fuck! What if something was wrong? What if he is hurting? Damn it! I need to stop being selfish and help him out the best I can.
After my shower I was rummaging through my clothes in just my blue bra and lace panties. I had no idea what to wear to a club since I had never been to one before. Eli was standing by the mirror fixing his red silk tie, "Hey, uh, Eli? W-What do I wear to a club..?"
He chuckled and sauntered over to me, putting his rough cold hands on my naked hips, rubbing small circles on my light skin with his thumb.
He leaned in close, his cool mint breath hitting my lips. Eli licked his lips and whispered, "Something…sexy."
"Elliii! That doesn't help me!" I exclaimed. He smirked, "Don't worry baby, I got it…"
We parked around the corner of some club.
Eli opened the door for me and Adam as I chuckled. We started walking and it was a little uncomfortable considering Eli dressed me in a black mini skirt and a dark red crop top that was very low-cut.
"Fuck," Eli whispered and ran to a garbage can. He started throwing up and we rushed over to him as I rubbed his back soothingly while saying, "Eli, baby…we should go home. You need to rest, you had a busy day."
"I'm fine, Clare." He wiped off his mouth and dragged me along…
We finally got into the club, strobe lights flashing, whores throwing themselves at men who were halfway delusional because of the beer or drinks they had taken in, and of course, the music was blasting so loud that I could hear it pounding through my head.
After being aware of my surroundings, Eli grabbed my hand and we all headed to the bar, even though I really didn't want to drink since I'm underage.
"Can I get a beer and an apple martini for the little lady here," Eli smirked flirtatiously at me as the bartender glared at him suspiciously and then ordered, "I.D. please."
Eli scoffed, pulling out his fake I.D. which I didn't approve of and sooner or later, we got our drinks and started up a suggestive conversation while I gingerly sipped my drink through a mini neon bendy straw...
After about an hour of drinking and Eli whispering dirty comments in my ear, I was very hot and very tipsy.
We were sitting on a little velvet couch in the corner and I was currently straddling Eli's hips with my thighs, while he sat on the couch. I was bouncing up and down on him, dry humping and grinding into the some-what hard lump between his skinny jean-clad thighs, trying to give him all the pleasure I could. I couldn't help but notice the bulge between his gracilis muscles was a bit smaller than usual.
I used his shoulders as leverage as my skirt rode up. The only think stopping us from fucking was his skinny jeans and my panties.
"I want you so bad...," Eli groaned in my ear huskily, throwing his head back in ecstasy. Eli put his hands firmly on my ass and started squeezing, hard. When it came to needing release, Eli now did all he wanted with no restrictions.
Which, I didn't mind at all.
"Fuck, Eli…" I breathed, rubbing my breasts up against his chest.
After a while we switched to grinding and dancing in the hot, sweaty space with flushed bodies bouncing on each other.
The music was loud and relentless; it popped through my veins making me shudder with excitement.
Eli pulled my ass to him, and it was as if his dick wanted to push into my ass right then and there, but I couldn't complain. One hand was on my breast while the other guided my thrusting hip. We were moaning simultaneously as salty beads of sweat dripped down my cheeks.
I moved my butt over him and dipped down, running my hands up and down his sides. I turned around and slid back up his body, my hand rubbing the semi hard bulge in his pants.
"Fuck, Clare," he moaned, and even though we were only dancing for a few minutes, I could tell Eli was getting tired by his breathing.
Shortness of breath: Another symptom…
"What? Too hot for you, Elliijahh?" I murmured against his lips.
"Clare, fuck, you're such a fucking tease...," Eli responded before roughly grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the club. As the cool night air hit me, Eli backed me up against the brick wall of the club, kissing me and forcing his pink muscle in my mouth.
"I need you Eli, now," I whispered against his ear, my cool breath hitting his neck as he shuddered in unbearable pleasure.
Adam had to drive us home since we were so buzzed, but in reality, it was because Eli and I were making out in the back and I couldn't even process the thought of stopping what we started.
It was too good...
When we finally got home, Adam dropped us off and told Eli that he'd drop off Morty tomorrow morning. We stumbled up to our room with shaky legs as my crop top and mini skirt was already off the second we entered.
I pushed Eli back on the soft cotton in the corner of our room as he tried to cover up the look of pain on his face when his back hit the bed, but I misread it as a look of pleasure.
I started lifting his shirt up when he stopped me, "Clare, I-I'm tired can we do this later…?"
"Eli are you hurting? Is it your joints or your-," he cut me off and said, "No, no it's just I uh, my body is, uh…changing from the cancer and I…" Eli trailed off and I got what he was saying.
I held his hands tightly in mine.
"Eli baby, I love you and your body. I would never reject you or think you're less than perfect. We don't have to do this. I know this cancer is giving you hell and all I want is for you to be happy."
He smiled as a tear slid down his soft white surface, "I…I want this."
I nodded and kissed his chapped lips as I felt his body shaking.
Eli allowed me to slowly lift his band tee over his head as I almost gasped, (but refrained from doing so because I would not want him to get the wrong idea) as I saw what the fatal disease did to my Eli.
Petechiae. All over his stomach, moving down to the trail of shrivel hairs below Eli's navel.
Petechiae: Small red or purple dots that form on the skin or in the mucus membranes, caused by blood clots…
Easy bruising: An injury transmitted through unbroken skin to underlying tissue causing rupture of small blood vessels and escape of blood into the tissue with resulting discoloration, seen especially in cancer patients…
Loss of appetite: Not hungry for a certain amount of time, causing severe weight loss…
"Oh Eli…"
I bent down and kissed the usually harmless red rash, flawing Eli's perfect skin.
Eli lay back on his bed, closing his eyes.
I took his black belt in my hands and fumbled with it, distracted by Eli's upper torso. I pulled off his tight skinny jeans squeamishly, afraid of giving him more purple blotches. I got to his boxers and Eli cringed, terrified of disappointing me.
Eli's pubic hair had been shorter, and discolored like his skin. His penis was slightly wrinkled and appeared to be, dry.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my voice full of love and hurt as to why Eli wouldn't trust me enough to just tell me his problem.
Was this the reason why he didn't want to take a shower with me?
"I'm hideous Clare," Eli sobbed as his goosebumped cheek wetted, "I'm a fucking monster. Why would you love ever me? I can't even get hard for you!"
He turned on the bed, facing away from me.
"Baby...," I whispered, coming up behind him and spooning him, my hand falling to his abdomen. My fingers caressed his pubic hair, his chest, stomach, trying to make him feel better.
"Eli...Please, please turn around," I needed to tell him something and I needed his eyes for it.
He slowly rolled over.
My blue eyes met his blood shot puffy ones as I whispered, "Eli, I love you so much and will never, ever stop. I love you for you, I don't care about what your body looks like. Sweetie, please don't ever think I don't love you or am disappointed. You are the definition of perfection."
I cupped his cheeks gently.
"God, no Clare you are the definition of perfection. I'm just a lucky guy who you fell in love with," Eli smirked at me. I smiled and kissed his nose, "You are lucky aren't you...?"
"Hey. Don't let it go to your head, Missy," He chuckled and kissed my lips softly.
After a few moments of silence, Eli whispered, "Clare, let's make love one more time...because I know, this is it."
I was about to protest when I saw the look in his eyes, the look of need and desire so I smiled weakly while saying confidently, "okay."
We started to kiss a little fast and since Eli was already naked and I was half naked, it didn't take us long to get in position. I wanted to be in control this time so I gently swung one leg over Eli's hips and straddled him. I was about to lower myself on him when he shouted, "Wait! Condom."
"No Eli, I want you to come inside of me for the first time," And the last, I thought.
Eli scrunched his eyebrows together, but nodded anyway.
I closed my eyes, lowered myself onto his throbbing member that was now fully erect. I forgot how deep this angle was as I felt the tip of his member brush over a spot inside me that made me go completely insane. Feeling Eli inside me without resistance made it ten times more pleasurable. He felt so good against me.
I opened my eyes to see a smirking Eli with his hands behind his head, watching my breasts go up and down.
"Eli! Stop staring. You know I hate that," I groaned as he reached up and squeezed my left breast while growling, "Come on babe, how can I not stare at your tits? They're so sexy."
And just like that, the old Eli was back.
I was going to ask Eli to help guide my hips, but I knew he was weak and I just wanted to give him just as much pleasure. I moved up and down on him lightly and reached behind my thighs to massage his testicles, which I knew would always make his eyes roll in the back of his head in pure ecstasy.
"God, you're so amazing Clare…," he whimpered, sweat rolling down our faces as we got closer to our peaks.
"Clare this is it," Eli breathed out and I knew, I knew what he meant.
No, no, no. He's faking. He doesn't know anything.
I pounded harder into him, letting the tears and anger out. My head thrashed as my fingers clawed his skin. My body leaned forward making our chests touch. I slowed down, not wanting it to end. By now we were both crying, our mingled bodies were wet with salt water.
Eli wrapped his arms around my back as I hugged him.
"I don't want this to end...," I whispered, knowing that it soon would...
Eli ended up not passing away for another week, but we weren't surprised. We all knew it was coming, even though I denied everything. He had gotten sicker and couldn't get out of bed. But I laid with him, our hands intertwined every moment of the day.
The morning, after Eli and I made love one last time was Eli's turning point. He couldn't get out of bed and he had long purple bruises running along his hips. When I woke up, I thought he was dead, but he eventually opened his eyes and smiled weakly.
The last time he spoke to me, was the day he died.
We were in the living room on the love seat, claiming that we were spending too much time in our bedroom. We were cuddled up in the blankets together, watching one of Eli's favorite movies.
Eli was pretty much unresponsive and it killed me, it ate away at my heart like a parasite to a host. He could still talk, but only a few words could come out. His lymph nodes swelled causing his voice box to basically break.
I looked at his naked fingers and then looked at mine, and played with the ring he gave me and then-
"Eli, baby, I need to get something from our room. I'll be right back." He groaned and held my hand tighter, "Sweetie, it will be one minute. I promise."
He let me go and I ran to our room, digging through some boxes I had piled in our closet. I finally found what I was looking for and I raced downstairs.
I came back and sat next to him, my eyes looking into his, "Eli, you mean the world to me and I, uh, I need you to keep this ," I pulled out my purity ring and slipped it on his pinky, "Right now, I hate God. I don't get why God would give such a beautiful and extraordinary boy cancer. But, I know you're going to go to a wonderful place and one day… I'll meet you there. Okay? We're going to be together forever, I promise. We'll walk together, holding hands and smiling...every day. I will come and visit you and write you letters. Eli, you're my everything and I will never, ever forget you…"
I whispered in his ear, "I love you…" And I didn't know if he understood me with me choking on my calm sobs.
"God, Clare….I, I love-," he whimpered barely audible.
Silence.
I waited for Eli to finish, but I knew he wouldn't.
"…you."
With that, he closed his eyes and even though I was frowning, my heart was smiling a little because I knew, he was finally released of the constant pain and had joined the angels.
And he went to Heaven.
Author's note: Oh gosh, I really hoped you liked this. There will be an epilogue posted sometime.