Chapter Fourteen

When I take showers I like to start them off at scolding temperatures.

Just to freak myself out. It might be a form of self-harm. But nobody can possibly notice. And even if by some chance someone did, they'd figure it was an accident.

It gets my mind off of things, when I have to focus on the heat. I don't have to feel emotional pain so much. And it helps me, to know I can still feel.

I don't usually think of it that way. 'Cause it makes me realize that I have issues. So I just think of it as waking myself up

But I usually get used to it fairly quickly. And maybe I can turn it hotter a bit, but it only gets me so far. And my dad always gets pissed, when I use up all that oil.

So after it stops hurting, I turn it as cold as it can get. And then that pain comes back.

It feels the same as the burning hot water. It's part of the reason why I'm so white all the time – I end all my showers at an incredibly cold temperature.

When I told Tori this, she slapped me. Hard.

Then she pressed me into the wall, kissing me for all I'm worth. Actually, for more than I'm worth.

And it was at that precise moment, her lips on my neck, her hands up my shirt, my breath hitching, that my father decided to walk in.

"So you're a dyke then?" he asked angrily.

Tori jumped back as though burned, almost tripping backwards. She probably would've fallen had I not caught her arm. "Shit," she muttered, stepping in front of me.

Then I saw the woman behind him. Tall, blonde, blue eyes. Younger than him. And I had a flashback.

The same woman, standing over me, knife in hand.

"No hard feelings, Jade," she said in a voice tinted with insanity. The sound came through groggily, as though I was drugged.

I was drugged.

Then the strongest pain I'd ever felt in my arm ripped me out of my reverie and back to the present.

I dragged my arm up, into my vision. I saw my scar, jagged, running over my forearm.

I hadn't noticed my dad venting his frustration on me, screaming. My five words trampled him into silence.

"You tried to kill me," I stated, staring directly at her.

No denial. Not even a shake of the head.

The silence palpable, my father turned to her. "You tried to kill my daughter?" he asked disbelievingly. "My flesh and blood? My life after death?" Well, he didn't care this much five seconds ago. "What are you, a fucking serial killer?"

She glanced at him calmly. "If I was a serial killer, I would have counted on her girlfriend over here showing up so soon and calling an ambulance."

My head whipped over to Tori, my jaw dropping open. "You...," I trailed off.

"Yeah," she whispered. "Yeah, I found you."

"But why didn't you tell me?" I asked emotionally.

She shrugged. "I dunno," she whispered. "I didn't want you to look at me like I saved your life or something. It really wasn't me, it was the doctors."

"Fuck the doctors, Vega," I replied.

The doctors didn't save me. The doctors didn't go to my house because they were worried when I didn't show at school. The doctors just fix up the broken things they're given.

I looked over at my father. He was yelling at his fiancee, screaming some bullshit about how much I meant to him. As if it wouldn't be his fault if I had attempted suicide. I wish someone would scream at him like that; tell him what a terrible person he really is.

Not to say she didn't deserve it too. What a sickening couple.

And then I looked over at Tori, seeing her eyes still trained on me. How could I possibly deserve this? I don't think I've done anything in my life to justify having someone like her be in it.

"Tori...," I whispered. "I think I'm in love with you."

She smiled, grabbing my hand. "Well, that's good, 'cause if you weren't we would have a problem. And we have enough of those to deal with right now, don't we Jade?"

I think I stopped running from her a long time ago. I think I realized she was completely unarmed. I think I accepted the fact that she had an extra set of keys to my fortress, and now I trust her to take care of them.

A/N - It actually isn't over yet. So don't waste your tears.

It would be weird, if that lady just decided to murder her for absolutely no reason. So I'm gonna have to deal with that.

So, anyone wanna share their thoughts? No? Okay. :(

Have a good day! And review. Or I'll send the nameless murdering lady after you. :O