"Who are you?" The man looked up from where he was kneeling, flashing me a smile.

"Why, I'm the Doctor." He rolled his shoulders; trying to make them comfortable after being untied. "Why'd you untie me?" He stood up.

"I don't believe in negotiating this way." The Doctor smiled.

"Negotiate?"

"I'm a gypsy; what else to you expect?"

"Nothing, I guess." He put his hands in his pocket and gazed at the small room we were in. "These are the 'pipes?'"

"Yea. Problem?"

"No, just seems odd seems like an oxymoron, seeing as this room is pretty plain. Why is it called the 'pipes?'"

"Cuz of this," I took the lead pipe from behind my back, grinning as his smile faded and took some steps back. "Oh, come on. You don't really think I'll use it; do you?"

"Of course not," said the Doctor, letting out a nervous laugh. "Anyway," he started, clasping his hands, "you plan on negotiating, and there's nothing better I do." He took a seat, patting the ground before him. I threw aside the pipe and took my seat.

"First is first," he said, leaning in. "I want my fez."

"That's it?" I tried not to laugh. "I can get you anything you want; gold, women—and you want a silly red hat?"

"It's not silly!"

"It's silly."

He crossed his arms, a puss on his face. "I want it back."

"And what do I get in return?" I asked, warming up to his wish. After all, it was just a stupid little fez. Abesoloma would forget about it in a day or two.

"You can see the stars."

I nearly fell over with laughter. "I can already see them; and they're not very impressive." I said, after catching my breath.

"Well I have to agree with that," he agreed, wrinkling his nose. "Your ship chose a very boring place to stop."

I nodded, getting to my feet. He watched me as I circled the room. It was by far the worst proposal that had ever been offered to me. He was basically giving me something I already had, which looking back, was actually a very smart tactic. But only later did I learn that he wasn't trying to outmaneuver me; he sincerely meant the offer.

"And time," he added. "Forgot to mention that little bit."

I swiveled around. "Time? Like the future and stuff?"

He smiled, triumphant over catching my attention. "Remember that 'little' blue box Abesolami—"

"Abesoloma."

"—same difference. Remember that box I came in, that he plans to use as a…restroom?" He wrinkled his nose.

"Yea, what about it? We can't both fit in there. Was that an escape pod or something from your ship?"

He chuckled. "That is my ship." He looked up, expecting me to laugh or something; I don't know. All I did was stare.

"You're mad."

"Quite."

"All you want is a fez; I get out of here just for a silly fez—"

"Not silly—"

"Whatever. And the way we escape is in that little thing?"

The Doctor looked confused. "Escape? I thought we were peacefully negotiating."

I laughed. "You're negotiating with me; no one else. I don't know if you thought I was a representative or something for my whole…race? But I'm not. I do what's good for me and that's it. That's the best we can do."

"Of course," he said, acting as if it was obvious. "You are a gypsy, after all."

"Yes, and so are they, and we might as well be pirates seeing as we can steal but no one can steal from us. So, I'll stroll in, ask for the fez, and tell Abesoloma that in return for the fez, you'll give him…your bowtie?"

The Doctor looked taken aback. "Now that's just mean! By the time I'm out of here, I'll be half-naked."

That's not such a bad thing, I thought, calculating the amount of gold I'd get for his apparel.

"Tell him I'll give him my TARDIS," he said, getting up.

"How are we supposed to escape if we don't have your tarpiss?"

"TAR-DIS. You really are despicable."

I smiled, batting my eyes. "Darling, I'm the best of my kind."

"I've got my ways. Just get the fez lead him to the TARDIS, walk in, lock the door, and away we'll go. I'll be waiting." There was a bang on the door and long burb.

"Adewale," a voice slurred; a hiccup breaking up my name. "You be'r be done giv'n em a beatin, Abesolomama wants to see ya." There was a scratch on the door and a sigh as the man collapsed with intoxication.

"Yea, I'm almost done with the bastard," I yelled back. "I guess that's my cue then."

The Doctor nodded. "I'll see you on the other side." I rolled my eyes, pushing open the door to exit. Sure enough, my summons was passed out on the floor, a steady stream of drool coming from his mouth. Taking his legs under my arms, I continued down the hall, dragging my comrade by the heels.