Cuzzins, this is coming to an end and I do NOT know how to feel. Send help!

Let me give a quick "Heeeeeey!" to you new readers! I am so glad that you are here! Thank you to Guest and Paula S., when you drop those words of encouragement it really warms my heart.

*Guest: Their goodbye scenes tug at my heartstrings, too.

Okay, I'm gonna get out of the way and let y'all get to it. As always...Y'all are amazing and thank you for hanging out with me. Read, review, and enjoy! Ged Ged Yah!

Chapter 36

Miss Jayne's Home

Day 105 - 9:30 am

It was a tradition that started between Miss Jayne and Brielle's momma early on in her childhood. Together they threw a small New Year's party annually, even the last year that her momma was ill. It was loud and festive, the drinks were poured heavily and the food was always delicious. Then, when the clock showed close to midnight, they all went out onto the back deck to watch the town-sponsored fireworks and rung in the New Year with the party's themed cocktails and sparklers. It was also tradition that the shop would be closed that week so the two best friends could eat, drink and be merry for a few days longer afterward. Those late-to-rise mornings during the first few days of the new year were treasured memories for Brielle. She spent the day in pajamas, listening to her momma and Miss Jayne gossip about the going-ons from the party in the kitchen, giggling like kids themselves. They watched old movies, ate all day and napped all over the house, being lazy was the only agenda. It was their favorite holiday happening next to Christmas and Brielle picked up right where her momma left off, joining in on the planning and decorating for the special night.

Brielle woke up on her last day there with a strong desire for the New Year to be truly new. Last year had been wildly memorable but the coming year was going to be historic. Her first child was coming into the world and she was starting to allow herself a smidgen of excitement. She waited until Doc had taken his leave to grab Miss Jayne's hand and lead her to the bathroom she had set up. "Come with me."

In the bathroom, there was already a chair and Brielle sat down. Without a word, she held up a pair of scissors, the room humming with her silent communication.

Miss Jayne looked down at the instrument, not moving. "Brie baby, are you sure?"

She nodded yes, "It's time."

"How much?" Brielle didn't answer right away, they stared at each other through the mirror until the tears that welled up in Brielle's eyes spilled over.

"Okay, baby." Miss Jayne's voice soothed, "Breathe for me now. What's going on?"

As the tears rolled down her face, Brielle was just as confused by the rush of emotion as Miss Jayne was. Swiping at the never-ending stream, she grabbed several tissues. "I can't explain it," she confessed, grabbing a handful of her hair, and shaking it. "It's not mine…it's Devin's." Miss Jayne placed a hand on her shoulder as she continued trying to navigate her sudden tears, "I'm ready. I really am…but it feels like I'm destroying the last thing of Devin's that I have!"

Brielle covered her face, unable to stop the release of tears. Miss Jayne leaned down to hug her from the back, eventually resting her head on hers rocking and comforting. She understood the strange way grief rose up and sank back down after burying two husbands of her own. This was a true healing thing for Brielle to go through and she hoped that her goddaughter would come out whole and assured of her own strength on the other side of it. Brielle squeezed Miss Jayne's hands before wiping her face. With a steadying breath, she held up the scissors again, "Please."

"Okay." Miss Jayne ignored the shears and reached for a brush instead, "Let's go slow, okay?"

She began to brush her hair, piecing it and attaching rubber bands at a length she thought would be the least shocking to Brielle's system.

"I took our wedding pictures down before I came."

Stunned, Miss Jayne let the rubber band snap on the last section of hair she had separated and studied her face in the mirror. To Miss Jayne, she looked content and settled in that decision, but she knew there was more to it. Please let Trevor be as good a man as I think he is, she thought. "You're stronger than I ever knew, sweetheart. Lynette is so proud of you."

Brielle met her eyes in the mirror, "You think so?"

Miss Jayne snipped off one of the ponytails, just below the middle of her back, "I know so. And so am I."

On the way home from her New Year's extended stay at Miss Jayne's, she picked up her four-legged loved ones from the Anderson farm, where they would hide out every year from the booming sounds of the firework's display. Home. She smiled as she pulled into her garage and released them from the bed of her truck to go crazy in the yard, excited to be home and back with her.

Hopping up the steps with her overnight bag, she was caught off guard by the unfamiliar lightness of her head. She briefly wondered if her haircut would matter to Trevor. It was getting harder every day to watch the snow linger that kept him away. Her heart pinged for missing him but she pushed it away for her own peace of mind because she knew that she had to prepare for the real possibility that he may not return.

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The fear of bad news kept Brielle from making her first doctor's appointment until Miss Jayne threatened to "cut a whuppin' switch" to use on her. She wasn't surprised to find out that according to the doctor's findings, Trevor's first trip to see her was the one that did it. When the technician asked about the family history of the father, Brielle admitted that she didn't know much about his family and she wasn't in the position to produce him for a blood test, suggesting that they leave him out of her file altogether. Hearing the baby's heartbeat and holding the ultrasound printout had her both elated and terrified. Still, she went into work and squealed in the back office with Miss Jayne over it and finished out her day.

That night she crawled into bed and let it all hit her. If she was going to walk through this she promised herself that she wouldn't stuff her feelings down. After a good cry, she slept soundly - one protective hand on her belly and the other clutching the pillow Trevor had used, the pillowcase holding fast to the last traces of his scent.

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Trevor's Home

Day 156 - first light

It hadn't snowed in three days but the cold was brutal, deadly. A windstorm had kicked up, blowing the remaining snow on the ground up into the air in a blinding white sheet, leaving the clan trapped in their homesteads to wait it out, surviving it as they had for the last 200 years. The sick had to be tended to by their own. Those like Trevor, who lived alone, took the risk of leaving their home to join another family member under their roof. For warmth, to conserve firewood and for each to make sure that the other was healthy in the end.

When Big Foster snatched open his door, Trevor was already preparing to leave his dwelling to find a fuller one.

"Come on!" He yelled over the roar of the wind, holding on to his door.

Together they quickly finished dumping Trevor's wood supply into a blanket and with heads down, dragged it to Foster's. When Big Foster opened his door, it jerked out of his hand blown by the wind, slamming into the side of the building. Phil'up and Lil Foster were already inside making room for Trevor. They helped bring in the extra firewood and worked against the wind to get the door closed as fast as they could, cursing and yelling the whole time. Shaking the snow from their clothes and hair, Foster and Trevor crowded the stove for warmth, gladly taking the blankets and pelts the others brought them. No one of them had any idea how much longer this would go on and while water could be made from melted snow easily, they hoped that their food supply would last. None of this was easy. They were unable to do more than a basic wash-up to clean themselves or dispose of their waste - food or otherwise. After a few days of playing the red and white board, cards and sharing old stories, the confinement began to wear on them. They slept to conserve energy, grateful that each of them understood that unnecessary chatter would be their undoing, leading to tender nerves and fighting.

It was four more days before the winds died down enough to make venturing out for more supplies feasible. And two more days after that before damages could be assessed and those blocked in by snow heaps could be rescued. Everyone worked tirelessly to repair the grounds and tend to the sick. Discreetly, a few men were selected to move the bodies of those who did not survive, until the ground was forgiving enough to allow them to be buried. Outside of survival, the end of winter was rarely a happy time.

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Brielle's Home

Day 163 - 10:27a

Brielle looked out of her kitchen window again at the grey sky. Ah, Sweet Kentucky…where the snow leaves just long enough to make room for his ugly little sister, sleet. Her poor pups were restless, the weather had been ugly for a solid 48 hrs and they wanted to go play. She considered taking them into the barn for a game of ball toss. There wasn't a lot of room, but scrubbing down three muddy dogs that did not know how to stand still was getting harder. At a touch past four months, her tummy seemed to have popped out overnight. The books and websites stated that second pregnancies usually showed themselves physically earlier than a woman's first run at it.

Sitting on the couch with her feet up, she stretched after finishing a call from Miss Jayne. Looking up at the ceiling, she blew out a long breath, "Momma? I'm done questioning it. All of it."

Brielle held a plush child's toy in her lap, the only baby-related thing she had allowed herself to order so far. A white wolf with a dusting of grey and tan on its face, the box it was shipped in was abandoned on the floor.

"I miss him so much." Brielle yawned, rubbing her stomach distractedly. "Maybe this is my happily ever after."