Hey! Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my story. I know I haven't talked much about Bella's past but I promise that in one or two chapters Bella will tell her story. REVIEW! You're reviews make me write faster. HUgs

1/07/2010: This chapter is now beta'd. Thanks to Adri1577 for her precious help.

Chapter 1

Bella's POV

Finally we arrived. I hadn't even fully left the car and Jacob was already lifting me off the ground and hugging me. I hugged him back.

"I missed you too, Jake." I managed to say when he put me on the ground again.

"It's been too long since you last visited." He complained.

"Where is Kate?" Kate is Jacob's wife. She's really sweet, and we are great friends.

"She's inside, preparing lunch. We decided to invite the whole pack to have lunch with us. They are very anxious to see you again." I smiled.

"How's Sam?" Scott asked.

"He seems to be getting better. Marc and John are taking care of him." Marc and John are Sam's kids. Emily had died a year ago and Sam hadn't gotten over it yet.

"Aunty Bella! Aunty Bella!" Matt and Elizabeth started jumping around me, snapping me out of my thoughts. Their eyes shone with excitement.

"Hello Kids! You're so big!" I said smiling widely. I loved them so much. They started talking at the same time.

"Calm down kids! Let Bella breathe." Jacob told them. Kurt and Scott laughed.

"But she doesn't need to!" Elizabeth argued. The kids knew everything about me, my brothers, our powers and vampires in general. And strangely that didn't scare them; maybe because they were used to it.

"Did you bring presents?" Matt asked expectant.

"Matt! You're being very rude." Jacob scolded.

"Sorry Aunty Bella! We are very happy that you've come to visit us. We missed you a lot!" Matt said hugging my legs.

"It's fine." I replied.

"And of course we brought presents." Kurt boomed.

"YAY! Uncle Kurt!" They screamed running to him.

"Behave kids!" Kate warned them from the inside of the house. They lived in Billy's house. Jacob and Kate had remodeled the house when they found that Kate was pregnant. My brothers and I obviously came down to help them.

Seeing Scott and Jacob hugging and Kurt with the kids, giving them the presents we had brought, made me realize that even apart from the love of my life I was lucky because I had a loving family and friends that will do anything for me. But the feeling that it isn't enough is always there.

"Bella." Jacob called. "What if we went to the beach?"

"Yeah, sure." I agreed.

"Kate, honey? I'm going to take Bella for a walk in the beach, ok?"

"Have fun and be sure you that you're back in time for lunch."

"Of course darling." He said kissing her passionately. I looked away. Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy for Jacob and Kate, but seeing them reminds me of Edward and me. Could we have that? Would we ever have that?

We left the house and walked until we reached the beach. Scott had stayed helping Kate while Kurt played with the kids.

"How are you, Bella?" Jacob asked turning around suddenly so that he was facing me. I let myself fall to the sand and just sat there, looking at the ocean, the waves coming and going kissing the sand and then leaving again, only to come back a moment later. It was relaxing.

"I'm fine…"

"I'm tired of hearing you say that you're fine when it's very clear you are not! You can talk to me, Bella!"

"I know I can, Jake. You're my best friend, and you understand me better than anyone else."

"Then… what's going on?" He pressed.

"A few minutes ago, I was thinking about how lucky I am. I have my brothers, my friends, you, Kate, the kids, the rest of the pack… and I just can't feel truly happy. It's not enough. I feel so guilty because you are all wonderful and I know you'd do anything for me, and it doesn't seem to be enough!" Jake sat beside me.

"Of course we are not enough! None of us can replace them. None of us can replace him! It will only be enough when you find him again. And you don't have to feel bad about it. We all understand. You miss him, Bella! You miss all of them."

"I do but I also know that as long as all of you are with me, I'll be fine. Not great but fine…"

"We don't want you to be just fine, Bella. We want you to be happy…"

"But I am happy!" I cut him off.

"It's temporary happiness Bella. I know that being with the kids and with us makes you happy, but when you return to your house, you go back to your depressive state. I don't want you to just feel happy; I want you to be happy. Permanently happy. Truly happy. And the only way for you to be happy is being with Edward. Why don't you go find him? What are you afraid of?" Here we go again…

"I love him with all my heart, and I know he loved the human me, but I'm different. I'm a vampire. I don't know if he will still love me when he finds out and…"

"Why wouldn't he, Bella? You may be a vampire, but you are still Bella!"

"What if he can't forgive me Jake?" I got up suddenly and started walking again.

"Forgive you what?" he asked running to catch up with me. I slowed down so that he could also walk.

"The fact that I didn't die eighty years ago." He looked at me with a shocked face. Maybe those weren't the right words. I quickly explained. "The fact that I am alive, and I didn't try to find him. I want to think that he would forgive me, but I can't know for sure." We had reached our tree, and I sat in the natural bench it provided. Jacob did the same and put his arms around me.

"If he truly loves you, he will forgive you. He won't even think about it. He will only care about the fact that you didn't die. He will accept you. Vampire or not, you are still Bella, you still love him and that's all that matters. If he doesn't, it's because he doesn't deserve you."

"But I wouldn't be able to handle that. I will not change my mind. He's better off without me now. I know."

"How can he? You are mates! None of you is better without the other. I thought you knew that already."

"He is Jake. He's already healing. Someday he will find someone, and he will move on. I don't have the right to enter his life again."

"Is that what you want? You want him to find somebody else?"

"I just want him to be happy."

"Then you should know that he can't be happy without you, just as you can't be happy without him. He will never move on."

"Maybe we should head back." I said. "Lunch must be almost ready, and everybody is waiting."

"You are so worried about lunch. Are you actually going to eat something?" He asked.

"Of course not but you are. Kate would kill us if we were late."

"Fine, fine. Let's go but think about what I said Bella." Talking to Jacob was like talking to my conscience, but I would not change my mind this time.

When Jacob and I arrived, the yard was full of people. All the former wolves were there with their families. Now the pack is formed by the kids, who are old enough, of the former wolves.

It was a wonderful day. It's been too long since I had so much fun. We talked, danced, sang… At night we lit a fire and sat around it, telling stories, jokes, Kurt's last stunts...

At four o'clock in the morning I carried a sleeping Elizabeth to her bedroom and helped Kate cleaning everything, my brothers and I said goodbye, and we headed to my father's old house. When my father died fifty years ago, I bought the house and we remodeled it. Now every time we come to Forks, we stay there.

While Scott and Kurt unloaded the cars' trunks, I had a long and nice shower. I was there for more or less half an hour before I heard Kurt.

"Bella, do you mind getting out of the bathroom? I want to shower too!"

"It's just a minute." I quickly dried myself, dressed some washed clothes and left the bathroom. Back at home we don't have this problem since everyone has their own bathroom. Kurt is very impatient and impulsive.

I went downstairs and sat in the couch with Scott watching TV, while he was waiting for his turn to have a shower. Luke should arrive in the evening, and then we would head to La Push again.

A few minutes later, Kurt came down and took Scott's place by my side while he went to shower.

Two hours later

I was still on the couch reading a new book I had bought in Canada before we came, and Scott was working on an article for the newspaper he works on, when Kurt paused the game he was playing. He is a fanatic for video-games.

"Why don't we go outside and wrestle for a bit? It would be fun..." The day was cloudy, and I needed to exercise a bit. When I was with the Volturi, I was trained like no one ever was. I was the best fighter they had and I still am, though I no longer work for them.

"Sure, why not?" I said though I knew that we would end up rolling in the grass like five-year-olds.

"Fine with me. Ladies first." Scott said while Kurt picked me up from the couch and ran outside to the backyard, while I laughed.

Emmett's POV

Finally we arrived. We're back to Forks, something that I thought would never happen. Right after Bella's death we moved to Europe. Forks brought too many memories and it still does, but Esme and Alice missed this place, so we're back.

We all miss Bella, even Rosalie. Edward was devastated. The only thing that kept him from going to Italy was a promise he had made to Bella, otherwise no one would have stopped him from going there and begging for death. He seems to be better than he was a few years ago, but he's not the same. We all miss the carefree and happy Edward we came to know when Bella was with us, but none of us blames him for not being that Edward anymore. I can't even imagine losing Rosalie.

"Emmett, come here please." Esme called from the inside of the house.

"Yes mom?" I said making my way through the unpacked boxes in the living room, until I reached the kitchen.

"I need you to go to the school and enroll you and the others."

"Sure mom." I immediately got in my jeep and headed for the school.

I didn't take long at school, so when I was going back home, I decided to pass by Bella's old house. I don't know what I expected but certainly not what I saw. The house was still the same, but it was in even better conditions than when Bella lived here. The new owner did some remodeling. In front of the house was parked an amazing green Jeep and there was another car in the driveway. I opened my jeep's window to take a better look at the house, but I was immediately hit by the smell of... vampires! I heard laughs coming from the backyard, so I silently got out of my car and moved quietly. They were too distracted to notice me.

What I saw left me completely dumbfounded. I assimilated as much details as I could and then quickly ran back to my car, not caring about the noise, trying to make sense of what I had just seen. Only one thing was important: talking to Carlisle. He surely would have some kind of explanation.

I drove home as if my life depended on it. My sanity surely did. There wasn't any logical explanation for what I had just seen.

When I got home, everyone was waiting for me in the living room. Probably Alice had seen me driving like crazy. Some of the boxes had already disappeared.

"What happened, Emmett? I could only see you driving!" She asked immediately.

"You won't believe what I just saw!"

"What?" Rosalie asked worried.

"When I was coming back from school, I decided to drive by Bella's house..." Alice flinched."... and there were two cars parked, I opened the window and smelled vampires."

"What's wrong with that? We just have to see if they are like us and then work things out, depending on what we find." Rosalie said dismissing the situation.

"I was curious, so I got out of the car when I heard laughs in the backyard..." I continued.

"Did they see you?" Carlisle asked.

"No. I think they were too distracted."

"Then Rosalie is right. We just have to introduce ourselves..."

"Wait! There's more..."

"More?" Alice asked.

"Yes, there were two boys in their early twenties and one girl who should be about eighteen... and she..." I hesitated.

"Do you know her?" Rosalie asked suspicious.

"Yes, I mean I think so. Well..." Damn this was hard. Maybe I should have waited to make sure...

"Say it, Emmett!" Alice ordered nervously. I was really thankful Edward wasn't here yet. He and Jasper would only arrive a few days later.

"She looked a lot like..." Everybody was waiting curiously. "Like Bella." That's it! I said it!

"Oh God!" Esme exclaimed falling to the couch. Carlisle quickly seated beside her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Bella is dead!" Alice said coldly. I knew how hard it was for her to say that. "Are you joking Emmett? Because if you are, I assure you that it is not funny!" She was pissed. "Not funny at all!" She screamed.

"I'm not joking Alice! Do you think I would ever joke about this? I loved Bella too. She has green eyes, but I swear she looked like Bella!"

"Green eyes? How come a vampire has green eyes?" Rosalie asked.

"How can you be so sure?" Alice asked. The anger was gone from her face, and she started sobbing.

"I don't know. When I saw them, they were wrestling, playing in the grass. We have to go there and make sure it's her. If it is Bella..." Our family was never the same after Bella died.

"It can't be Emmett. There was evidence that she was dead. Carlisle said it himself, someone who lost that much blood would certainly die." Alice argued.

"Maybe a vampire found her and changed her." I offered. It could happen.

"We would have known if there was another vampire in the area. You can't be sure it's Bella, Emmett." Then I remembered another detail. It was small but maybe it was enough to convince them.

"I remembered something. The car parked in the driveway was a Blue Audi coupe." Alice's eyes widened in recognition.

"What does the car have to do with this?" Rosalie asked confused.

"Edward once spoke about buying Bella an Audi coupe. It was on her birthday, before we left; she didn't like the idea of Edward giving her a car."

"And that convinced you that it's Bella?" Rosalie asked skeptically.

"Let's go there and find out!" I said, making a move to the door.

"No. Wait!" Carlisle spoke. "First we are going to clean the house and unpack, and then we will go there."

"Carlisle, I don't know if I can wait. This uncertainty is killing me. I have to know if it's her! It can't be her … we found the ripped clothes, the blood, and it was Bella's blood…" Alice begged, still sobbing.

"Nobody found the body." Rosalie stated.

"We have to go there!" Alice said again.

"Alice, you are not going anywhere like that! We are going to calm down and unpack. Then we will go there and find out what's happening. " Carlisle voice was firm and full of authority but still kind. He was right.

Bella's POV

My brothers and I were now laying on the grass, after our wrestling session that ended with us rolling in the grass just like I had predicted. Our clothes were full of grass stains and looking at the watch I realized that we had been doing this for about two hours but it was fun. Wrestling took my mind off of other things. The bell rang and I got up, entering the house through the back door that allowed access to the backyard and crossed the kitchen and the living room until I reached the main door. I quickly opened it, curious to know who it was.

"Luke! I thought you were coming later." I said surprised, letting him in.

"I wanted to surprise you." He grinned. I hugged him. It was incredible how much I depended on my brothers. I hadn't seen Luke in one day and I already missed him. "Bells, what were you doing?" He asked looking at my clothes.

"Wrestling. I need to have a shower. I'm awful."

"Nope. You're gorgeous as always." Kurt said from behind me, kissing my cheek.

"Thanks for the compliment but I really want to have a shower and change my clothes." Saying that I headed to the bathroom for the second time today.

A few minutes later, I was drying myself when the bell rang… again. Who could it be now? Maybe Jacob?

"Can someone open the door please?" I asked from the bathroom. "Kurt?"

"Sorry sis, but I'm almost finishing this level, I can't stop now!" He was so addicted to video-games that he couldn't open the door?

"Scott?" I asked hopefully.

"Why is it always me? Why don't you go Bells?"

"Maybe because I just finished showering and I'm naked?" I love my brothers very much but sometimes… "Luke, can you go?"

"Sure thing, Bells."

Luke's POV

The doorbell rang again. Whoever it was was in a great hurry.

"You won't believe this! I'm going to finish this level!" Kurt exclaimed excitedly, as I went to open the door. I reached for the doorknob and opened it in one swift movement. In front of me stood a tall man with blond hair, a small girl with short spiked black hair and a huge boy with curly brown hair. Their scent and golden eyes told me they were vampires. But not just some vampires. They were…

No! This couldn't be happening. I knew these faces very well, even though I had never met them personally, but I still couldn't believe it. Bella would have known. She always knows where they are, since she spends so much time in Edward's head.

"Who is it, Luke? Is it Jake?" Bella asked from upstairs. I didn't answer. How could I? What would I say to her? Hey Bella, look, the Cullens came to visit us? I still hadn't moved, and they were looking at me attentively.

"Luke? Luke? What are you doing, standing there like a moron? Who is…?" Kurt approached, trailing off as he realized who the three vampires standing on our porch were. We immediately blocked our minds, so that Bella couldn't see what was happening.

"Luke? Is everything okay? Is it Jacob? Luke? Kurt? Why are you blocking me?" Now she was getting worried, and I could also detect a bit of impatience in her voice. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find in myself the courage to tell her. What should I do? I could hear her coming down the stairs followed by Scott. "What the hell are you doing?" She asked as she came closer.

"They look like statues!" Scott commented while chuckling.

"Get out of the way, Kurt! You're being rude." Bella said pushing Kurt out of the way, so that she could see who was standing at the door. "Who is -?" There was nothing we could do now. She was standing directly in front of them, paler than usual.

I was starting to fear what this would do to our little sister. She is not ready for this!

Bella's POV

This isn't happening! They couldn't have found me! Why? Why was this happening? Why now?

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Alice threw herself at me, her small arms locked around me, and she sobbed so hard that everything she was saying was hardly understandable. When she calmed down, she started talking again.

"Oh Bella! I can't believe it's really you." Apparently she had no doubts. I was speechless. I just hugged her back. I had missed her so much. After all she was my best friend. I also started sobbing. It hurt so much. Staying away from the Cullens was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But it was… it is necessary. At least that's what I keep saying to myself. "What happened? We thought… we thought you were dead! Where have you been? Did you run away? Why did you? Were you afraid of getting married? Were you unhappy?" Was that what she was thinking? That I had ran away? "You can tell us, Bella. We will understand."

"No!" I said pulling away from her still sobbing. "I just hope you never understand! I hope you never have to understand!"

"Bella…" Emmett called trying to reach me.

"No. I'm sorry. So sorry!" I started walking backwards.

"Bella stop! Edward…" Alice started. The mention of his name only made my chest hurt more. I love him so much! I closed my eyes and made an extra effort to keep breathing.

"I'm so sorry, but I can't do this! I… can't…" I snapped my eyes open. I couldn't stay there anymore, so I ran away through the back door. I couldn't face them! I wouldn't be able to hear them say that they didn't forgive me. I pushed all my limits and ran as fast as I could! I was feeling a million different things: happiness for seeing Alice, Emmett and Carlisle again, panic for having to face them now and pain for seeing them after so long, for remembering what I had lost… because I knew that the chances that I would ever belong to their family again were slim.

This couldn't have happened! They couldn't know that I was alive! I was furious with myself. I should have paid more attention! I should have known they were coming back to Forks. And now because of my reckless behavior they would suffer! They won't forgive me for being alive and not looking for them. Edward won't forgive me. They will think that I ran away and it will cause them pain. Edward... Despair invaded me.

I needed to think! To decide what to do, so I went to the only place where I could find peace and friends to advise me.

These were going to be hard times…

What did you think? Too confusing? It will make better sense when Bella tells her story, which will be in one or two chapters. Also, Edward won't show up until the third or fourth chapter. Don't forget to REVIEW! Thanks. HUgs