A rocky future

A/N:- Thank you for the reviews. Enjoy.

Maybe it was because he was still physically and mentally exhausted or maybe it was because he was with Izaya, either way he managed to get some sleep, before Kadota came back in. "Shizuo. The police are outside." The blond shrugged, aggravating his back. What did it matter? He would only be lying to them. Izaya was still next to him in the bed, wide awake. "What are you going to tell them? Shizu-chan." He honestly didn't know.

As it turned out, he didn't have to tell them anything, instead his father stormed past them. "Sir we need to-" He couldn't help but smile at the glare his dad gave them. "My son needs to rest, get out." Kyouko must have helped too. "Shizuo, are you okay?" No, he wasn't. But he could pretend. "Yeah, got into another fight."

"I told you to be more careful. This is why I didn't want you moving out." His father fixed him with a stern look. "If this is going to be a regular occurrence..." Izaya spoke up next to him, voice like ice. "It won't be." The flea's hand slipped into his own gripping tightly. "I still think you should come home." Shizuo shook his head. "I'll be fine." He could tell his father wasn't happy and would continue to push the matter.

He tuned out as the doctor came to check on him, reading from a clipboard. Physically he knew he would have no problem recovering. Once the doctor had left the police entered the room. "Heiwajima Shizuo. We'd like to ask you a few questions." Blinking slowly he glanced up at them blankly. "Can you remember what happened?" There were two of them, one male and one female. "No."

"Do you know who stabbed you?" Again he opened his mouth, his voice dead. "No." He could feel Izaya staring at him. "We've spoken to some of the students at school. This isn't the first time your life has been threatened. Have you received any threats?" Glancing down at the covers, he held onto his injured hand. "No." The policeman sighed. "Your brother was arrested before. Was he involved?" Forcing his head up, he looked at the man. "No."

"Heiwajima-san, we are trying to help. If there is anything you can remember, please contact us." Shaking his head, he didn't take the card, or watch as they left. "Shizu-chan." Laying back down, he turned over, knowing it was pointless, he wouldn't be getting any sleep. A new nightmare was waiting for him, the second he gave in. "Shizu-chan." Closing his eyes, he ignored Izaya.

The next morning, when he pretended to wake up, he was out of bed, flinching as the pain in his leg kicked in. Ripping off the hospital gown, he got dressed in the clothes that were at the end of the bed. Izaya was still sleeping under the covers. Gritting his teeth, he turned away, walking out of the hospital.

The sky seemed so much duller than he used to see it. The bright blue, that invoked relaxing calm, became a greyish mess, that reflected his mood. Folding his arms, he kept his head down, making his way though the crowds of people, that seemed happy, chatting away, no one knowing or caring what he had gone through. Once again he had lost someone.

Making his way back to the apartment was probably the most stupid decision, he had ever made. But that's where he went. As he reached the building he remembered that he didn't have his key. Not that it mattered. The lock on the door was broken, swinging open as he reached out with a trembling hand. It wasn't home. His home had been taken away from him, it was a bad memory, still standing to haunt him. The teen stepped inside. He no longer had a home.

Everything was as how he had left it. The boxes were still piled up, a few toppled over, from where he had thrown Izaya against them. He couldn't live here any more. Every step brought memories to the forefront of his mind, making him want to run and hide. Taking another step, he stared down blankly at where he had been kept, the chain still dangling. Nii-san, I love you.

Shaking his head, his hand rested on the closed door, forehead against the wood. What did he do now? Turning around he could see the bloodstains where Kasuka had attacked Izaya. Pushing open the door, he walked into the room. His blood stained the floor and there was no doubt in his mind that if the police had been here, then they knew exactly what happened. They just couldn't do anything about it. "Kasuka. Is this my fault?" Crouching down, he brushed his fingers against the floorboard, his fingers coming away dry. "Is this because I'm a monster?"

"Shizu-chan!" He knew who had just run into his apartment, sounding out of breath. "Shizu-chan!" The voice grew louder, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't be here." Shizuo said nothing, remaining crouched where he was. "Come on." He didn't resist as he was pulled up and out of the room. "Why would you come back here? Protozoan."

"...Its where I live." It was supposed to be his home, his way away from everyone he cared about. The flea stopped and stared at him. "Shizu-chan." Shaking his head, he broke away with ease. "I have to clean up." Moving past Izaya he started picking up his things, putting them back in the boxes. "I'll get someone else to do it. Come on."

Izaya must have known he couldn't bear to be at his father's house. Too much had happened. He would only lie and pretend everything was okay. Instead he followed the path to Kadota's apartment, the door already open. It was just the three of them. There was no sign of the other two or... Shinra. He knew that a futon had already been made up for him. "Hey man, should you be out of hospital?"

"Felt better." Kadota rested a hand on his shoulder. "You can stay here, until you sort yourself out." Nodding his head, he stumbled in. "I set up a futon for you." Shizuo forced a smile. "Thanks. I'll go and lie down." He didn't say anything else, or look behind him. "Shizu-chan." Climbing in, he turned away. "I'm fine flea." Closing his eyes, he waited until Izaya left, he was waiting a long time, sleep taking him first.

"Shizuo, are you awake?" Blinking rapidly, he lifted his head, looking up at Kadota. "I have to get to school. Will you be okay?" Rubbing a hand through his hair, he forced himself up. "Yeah." His friend smiled, turning away from the door. Hearing the door close, he dropped back down. At last he was alone. There was no sign of Izaya.

Climbing out of the futon, he made his way to the kitchen, not feeling hungry, if anything looking at food made him feel worse. Pulling open the fridge, he saw that Kadota had stocked up on alcohol. Reaching for one, he paused, changing his mind and took the whole case, taking it back to the room. Opening the first can, he downed the contents, gently placing it next to him and reaching for another. Just a few wouldn't hurt. Just until the memories faded.

The day seemed to fly by, skipping lunch as well, even though he hadn't eaten since he had been taken to hospital. Emptying another can, it slipped from his fingers as he swayed, rolling on the floor. Trying to sit up, he failed miserably, giving up completely. What the hell did he do now? How did he begin to put his shattered life back together? Closing his eyes, he giggled at the ceiling, a broken bitter sound, letting his nightmares take him.

Shizuo groaned as he was roughly shaken. "Shizu-chan! Wake up!" Moving his arm, he tried to swat the voice away. "Dotachin, why do you have so much drink?" Opening his eyes, he groaned feeling something hammer against his skull. Great. Another hangover. He had barely managed to sit up, before he was handed a glass of water.

His head was tilted, allowing it to slide down his throat. "I didn't know he was going to drink, did I? "Hey, Shizuo have you eaten?" Ignoring the question he stared past them, his pathetic mind was working again. "Shizu-chan." Shaking his head he pushed Izaya away. "Go away." Pulling away he went to crawl into the futon. His wrist was grabbed. "What are you going to do if your father decides to check on you?" Ah!

Glaring at Izaya, he pushed himself up. "Where are you going?" Shizuo shrugged. "For a smoke." Making it outside the door, he inhaled the fresh air, making him feel sick. They had let him go. He wondered if they realised he didn't have any cigarettes. He quickly sobered as he made his way aimlessly though Ikebukuro.

He wasn't sure how long he walked around, stopping to rest on a wall. Looking up he stared at a woman holding a pad of paper around her neck. "Ah! I caught you looking. Have you lost something? I can help." Shaking his head, he felt guilty as she gave him a wide smile. "See. If you've lost something. Write it on here."

Shizuo blinked as she took it off from around her neck. Flicking through the pages, he saw the rubbish drawings of cats and jewellery. Turning the next page, he froze. Shizu-chan. His name was written in big letters. Before the call, Izaya hadn't had a clue where he was. Taking the pen, he turned to a clean page. Shizuo Heiwajima. Handing it back, he moved away. "I hope you find what you're looking for." So did he.

Fate it seemed worked in strange ways, no sooner had he turned the corner, his eyes widened at who was sitting outside a café. "Shizuo." Standing completely still, the blond only stared. "...Tom." The principal smiled and he could tell although awkward it was genuine. "Sit with me." Moving forward, he dropped into the chair opposite. "You look terrible. Did something happen?"

"...Yeah, a lot happened." Glancing up he could see Tom watching him, with concern. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?" Shaking his head, he rested it against the table. "Do you want to talk about it? I said before Shizuo, you can talk to me about anything." A hand rested on his shoulder. "I was thinking about quitting school."

"You know, that's never a good idea." Shizuo said nothing, hiding his bandaged hand from view. "You didn't bring a coat?" His ex lover sighed, standing up. "Come on, we can sit inside." Tom was speaking quietly in a gentle tones, as if he would a small child. Without a word, he stood up following after the older man.

It was a lot warmer inside the café. Tom offered him the menu, but he shook his head. The two of them sat in a quiet corner, the older man nursing his coffee. "You sure you don't want anything?" Shaking his head, he hadn't noticed that Tom had grabbed his hand. "You got hurt again?" When he opened his mouth even he was surprised at the broken sound that emerged. "Yeah."

It shocked him, that off all times, now was the time he could be honest. But maybe that was a good thing. He needed someone to talk to, not Kadota, not Izaya. An adult, someone who could explain everything to him. "Tom. Everything was my fault." The dread locked man said nothing, letting him continue at his own pace. "Ka-Kas- shit." Rubbing his eye with his sleeve, the teen lowered his head, hating himself for being so weak. "Shizuo. Whatever it is, you can tell me." Taking a deep breath, he waited until he calmed down, opening his mouth. "Just after Izaya arrived, I got a note..."

Tom was silent for a few minutes "That isn't your fault. You can't blame yourself." Shizuo sighed, not sure what to expect after he had told Tom everything. "And quitting school isn't the answer, it will only make everything harder for you." The blond said nothing. "What if I said I could make you graduate next month?" His head shot up, eyes wide. "How?" Tom took a sip of his coffee. "It will be a lot of hard work, but if you want to, come to my office tomorrow morning. Please don't give up on your future."

Shizuo blinked, unable to look away from that steady gaze. "I'm a monster. I hurt you, I got Izaya hurt. I destroy everything I to-" The man opposite him chuckled a little. "You didn't hurt me. It was a mutual break up. I'm still here for you, if you need me. As for Izaya, look behind you." The blond turned in his chair, looking out of the large window. It was clearly the flea running past the window. "That's the fifth time, he's been this way. For someone hurt, he's awfully worried about you. Go to him. Think about what I said."

Scraping his chair back, the teen headed out of the café, his heart feeling slightly lighter. "Izaya!" The black haired teen turned around, running back. "Shizu-chan. Where have you been?" He said nothing walking in step with the flea, back to Kadota's apartment. "Protozoan, you're running away again." The blond nodded. "Yeah. Maybe." He said nothing as Izaya brushed against him entwining their fingers together. Just a little longer and then he would let go.

That night he thought about what Tom had said. One month and he'd have to work his ass off. Or he could walk away. But he would be disappointing his father, his teachers, Tom. He owed it to them to at least finish school. Closing his eyes, he listened to Kadota's snoring and Izaya's steady breathing as the teen kept an eye on him.

"Shizu-chan! I made breakfast." The door was thrown open, startling both him and Kadota awake. "Damn it, Izaya. Its still early." The flea only grinned, already dressed in his usual non school uniform. "Ah, Dotachin doesn't want any of the delicious food I made." Rubbing a hand through his hair, he watched the two of them bicker. At least something was normal. "What do you plan to do today? Shizuo."

Ah, that was right he hadn't told them. "I was going to go to school." He almost smiled at his friend's reaction. "Are you su-" Izaya clapped. "Good, I was getting bored. Its no fun teasing an empty desk." The flea must have known. Catching his uniform he headed for the shower. By the time he was washed and dressed, they were running late. Glancing at his still full untouched plate on the table, he hurried out with Kadota and Izaya.

Keeping close, he tried to ignore the stares he was getting. "They don't know." It didn't make him feel any better. Reaching the gate, he caught sight of Shinra watching them from the school building. Turning away, he knew that friendship was ruined. The otaku's took Kadota away as they made it into the building. Shizuo avoided his locker, getting closer to the crossroads, where the corridor split. "Shizu-chan, our class is this way. Did you forget already?"

"No. I need to see Tom." He watched as crimson eyes darkened and narrowed. "Why would you?" Shrugging his shoulders, he continued walking. "I'm coming with you." Yeah, he had guessed it would happen. "Fine." Reaching the door, he knocked loudly. "Come in." Pushing open the door, he found a small table had been set up, pillows were on the floor. "Shizuo, Orihara-san. Close the door." It looked like Tom had expected his second guest.

"I've looked over your grades. Shizuo you need to do a lot of work. I've spoken to your teachers, so you can spend all your time in here." The blond nodded. "I've reviewed everything that has been on the tests for the past three years and made up study booklets for you."

"Why would Shizu-chan need to study?" They were sitting in the chairs in front of the desk, Tom was standing, leaning on the desk, with his arms crossed. "Shizuo wants to quit school. I've given him the option to finish school within the next month." He caught the brief look of shock on Izaya's face before it was gone, replaced with his usual mask. "Which means he'd be in here all that time, alone with you." Even so he could hear that the flea was pissed and maybe something else too. "Can I finish school early as well? Tom-sensei."

Shizuo stared in shock. Why would he? "Iz-" The other teen cut him off. "That shouldn't be a problem. Should it?" Shaking his head, he reached for Izaya. "No. Its not a problem. Your grades are the top of every class." Izaya grinned. "Good. Lets get started then." Damn it. What was the flea up to this time? The blond sighed, picking up his study booklets and sitting at the table. Opening the first page, he glanced down at the mass of text and groaned. "Giving up already? Shizu-chan."

Someone like him shouldn't even be thinking of fast tracking, he knew he would be lucky if he got above average, but he had to try and he had to admit, it did take his mind off of all his worries, at least for the time being. Even if it did make his head hurt. When it reached lunch time, he made another excuse, dodging another meal.

By the end of the day he was mumbling about algebra and his hatred for those damn numbers. Choosing one of the books he took it with him as they finished up. "Thanks Tom." The principal smiled. "See you tomorrow, Shizuo, Orihara-san." Izaya followed him out of the room, stretching his legs. "Are you going back?" The other teen shook his head. "I'm staying at Dotachin's." Shit. "You don't have to keep an eye on me." Crimson eyes fixed on him. "Ne, Shizu-chan. When was the last time you ate?"

Izaya cooked for the three of them, placing his plate in front of him. His stomach turned at the thought of eating, even as it grumbled embarrassingly loud. The I'm not hungry excuse was out then. Both of them were watching him. Digging his fork in, he hesitantly popped a little food into his mouth. Chewing slowly, he swallowed past the lump in his throat. It was good.

Instead of sleeping he stayed awake in the kitchen reading the booklet he had brought back. At least this way he didn't have to sleep. Anyone would believe he was serious about studying. Almost anyone. "Shizu-chan." Glancing up, he saw Izaya leaning in the door way. "You need to sleep." Holding up the book, Izaya only laughed. "We'll be studying everyday. Come on." The booklet was taken away from him, the flea leading him back to room, where their futons had been joined.

He didn't want to close his eyes, he had gone the entire day without remembering. Slim arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer into Izaya. A warm hand rested on his cheek. "Shizu-chan. Go to sleep. I'll still be here." But he wouldn't. Minutes later he was still awake. There was a small sigh against his ear, one of the arms vanishing from his side. "Shizu-chan. Here." Even in the dark, he could tell that something had been slipped onto his finger. "What's this?"

"A promise, that Kasuka-kun won't hurt you again." He felt his face heat up, soft lips pressing slightly against his own. "Please don't have sex in my apartment." Next to him Izaya laughed. "Dotachin are you jealous?" The flea was ignored, Kadota turning over to get back to sleep. Letting Izaya hold him, he clutched the ring tightly, slowly letting sleep take him. That night he dreamt about Izaya and giant numbers chasing him.

Next:- A long goodbye