A long goodbye
A/N:- Thank you for the reviews, the next chapter will be the last. Enjoy.
With Izaya, Kadota and Tom by his side, everything was becoming easier. He was two weeks into his studying, now he had caught up with everyone else in his year. His temper had really hurt his grades. He wondered whether on not Kadota was getting fed up with him or not since Izaya slept over most nights now, never leaving his side.
He was eating again, since he had no other choice. Glancing up he could see Izaya reading over something. In truth the flea didn't even need to be here, he would easily pass, without trying. Sensing that he was being watched, crimson eyes flickered up, catching him staring. Breaking the gaze, he went back to his practice test.
"Tom, I still don't get this bit." The principal was sitting at his desk, filling out paperwork. Before he was out of the chair, Izaya was snatching his test. "What bit don't you get? Protozoan." Letting out a sigh, he pointed to his half done calculation. "Hm? This one is easy. You need to substitute..." Taking the test back, he did it the correct way and carried on.
At lunch time he put his pen down or more like it was snatched away. "Tom-sensei, we're going to lunch." Shizuo handed over his practice paper, before Izaya was pulling him from the room. Their group of friends had gotten smaller, now it was just him, Izaya, Kadota, Erika and Walker. No one mentioned Shinra.
Just as he felt like he was beginning to come off of his training wheels, he was tripped up yet again. That night there was a knock at the door, the three of them were eating dinner. Izaya was the one who jumped up. "I'll get it." When the flea came back he didn't look as happy. "Shizu-chan." The blond glanced at the figure behind Izaya. "Dad." Judging by the way Izaya wasn't looking at him, he already knew what this was about.
"Shizuo, you haven't been home in ages." Kadota had timed his escape, leaving the three of them alone. "Yeah, sorry. I've been busy." His father sighed. "We're family." Shizuo said nothing. His mother and brother were supposed to have been family. "The reason why I'm here is to give you this." Because of Kasuka he had become a lot more wary of white envelopes. "Its a wedding invitation, Kyouko and I are getting married next week."
Shizuo felt the world tip upside down. "With Kasuka learning to become an actor and you not living at home, we thought the sooner the better. And with Izaya moving out as well, we don't know when we'll see you again. Since when was the flea moving? He hadn't known anything about it. "I'll bring your suits around when they arrive." Forcing his legs to stand and plaster a smile on his face, he hugged his father. "Thanks dad." The air had just become a little thinner.
After his father had gone, he stared blankly at the little invitation. Just when everything was becoming okay. In less than a week, he would see Kasuka again. It was too soon. "Shizu-chan." Why couldn't he breath? Resting his head on the table, where he was sitting, he tried to control it. His heart was pounding faster and faster, his vision blurring. A hand rested on his back. "Calm down. Breathe. Slowly."
With Izaya rhythmically stroking his back, he began to calm down. "Shh! Everything will be fine." Once again he found himself clutching to the other teen like a life line. He needed to stop. Soon he would have to let go for good. But for now, he needed him like air.
His nightmares returned that night, even with Izaya by his side it didn't stop them. Sitting up, he tried to cut his thoughts off, before he had another panic attack. Glancing next to him, he could see that Izaya hadn't moved, meaning he was asleep. Climbing out of his futon, he left the room.
Taking his cigarettes with him, he opened the door, stepping out into the cold night air. Shizuo knew he couldn't keep doing it. He couldn't keep running away. As it was the person Kasuka was most likely to hurt when they met again was Izaya. "Shizu-chan, still smoking those cancer sticks?" It was the usual Izaya, but he could detect the concern. "Couldn't sleep."
"Hm, even with me next to you? How rude. Unless you were hoping I'd do something else?" Feeling his face heat up, he turned away. "How long have you known?" Izaya joined him. "The last time I went home. Mum was showing off her dress. Are you going?" Taking a deep breath, he watched the smoke rise as he breathed out. There were few events he couldn't miss, his father would never forgive him. Birthdays, Christmas and getting married. Crushing his cigarette packet, he stubbed his finished one, heading back inside. "Yeah. I'm going."
Tom's office became what it used to be, a sanctuary for him to get rid of his problems. He was back to studying, just a little bit more. Oddly enough, when he was sitting at the table, all he could think of was getting a passing grade. After everything he had put his ex lover through, the man was still there for him. "Everything okay? Shizuo." Shit, he had been caught staring. "Yeah, everything is fine." Turning back he caught Izaya staring at him.
"Shiz-" Shaking his head, he went back to his work. "I'm fine." But he knew that it was a lie, he was far from okay. Seeing his brother again so soon would hurt. "I'm fine." Maybe if he said it enough he could believe it. And then there were Izaya's plans as well... no they were nothing to do with him.
Izaya was spending more and more time with him to the point he was never left alone. He was there with him and Kadota when his father dropped their suits around, the only time he had alone was when his father asked the flea to leave the room, so they could talk. "Shizuo, I wanted to talk to you about your living arrangements."
"Dad I-" His father only smiled. "I know that you can't go back to your old apartment. If you don't want to tell me what happened that's fine. This is the address and key of your new one. You can move in any time you want." Taking the piece of paper and the the key he folded them into his pocket. "Thanks dad." His father patted him on the shoulder. "I only want you to be happy."
"What did he say?" No sooner had the door closed, Izaya was back. "He wanted to tell me that he's sold my apartment, so I'll be staying here a bit longer until he finds a new one." The flea stared at him. "You really are a horrible liar." Shrugging his shoulders, he made his way into the kitchen. "Its my turn to cook, right?"
"No, you'll burn the kitchen down. Dotachin, tell Shizu-chan he can't cook." Kadota smiled getting another beer from the fridge. "We could get takeaway." Shizuo groaned. "Neither one of you trust me to cook?" He didn't get an answer. "Fine. Call for takeaway. I'm going to smoke." He was smiling as he opened the door.
Between his studies, living with Kadota and Izaya, along with the worries of seeing his brother again, the week passed by quickly and now it was too late to back away. He and Izaya were dressed in their suits, standing at the door of his new family's house. The door opened, Kyouko smiling down at them. "Izaya, Shizuo. Don't you look adorable. Come in. Kasuka is already here." His foot paused on the threshold, before steeling himself and walking into the house.
It was a lot bigger than their old one, enough room for all of them. It seemed like a waste now that they had all moved out. Following his soon to be step mother into the living room, the two twins jumped up, looking pretty in their dresses, his father was sitting in his tux, tugging at the shirt nervously. It would be the second time he was getting married.
"Nii-san." His heart stopped cold in his chest, Kasuka walking into the room, carrying a tray of drinks. "I missed you." He resisted the urge to run, knowing that Izaya was there, the silver ring warm against his skin. Taking the drink he was handed, he made sure that he didn't touch a drop. Who knew whether or not his brother was crazy enough to attempt something in front of their family.
"Is everyone ready?" Kyouko was standing by the door. "It's bad luck to see the bride beforehand. Izaya, you can stay and help me." Shit. Izaya gave him a look, which he quickly shook his head. For today they would have to play happy families. "Shizuo, Kasuka, come on." Putting his untouched glass down, he swallowed nervously following his father out of the door.
Luckily he managed to call shotgun, so he was sitting in the passenger seat, instead of in the back with his insane younger brother. "So how are things for both of you?" In the mirror, he could see Kasuka staring blankly in the mirror, but he knew he was staring at him. "Good. My manager says it shouldn't be too long until I get a bigger role."
"That's good. Shizuo?" Forcing a smile, he looked down into his lap. "I have my exams soon." He could see his brother staring blankly, but knew he was listening, his father was tapping the steering wheel anxiously. "Nervous?" The older man nodded. "Yeah. I'll be glad when this is over." Shizuo clasped his hand, feeling the ring against his skin. "Yeah."
When they arrived at the church, everyone was already seated, he was sitting in the front row, Kasuka so close he might as well have been sitting on his lap. He could feel his skin crawl and knew that he needed to get away. "Sorry dad, just going out for fresh air." Getting up, he left through the door, digging out his cigarettes. Hurry up and get here Izaya.
Finishing his first cigarette, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. One new message from Izaya. We're on our way. Everything okay? Smiling in relief, he text back that everything was fine. He didn't get to see the reply, the door creaking open. "Dad sent me to check on you." Shit. "You didn't tell him? Not that it matters he wouldn't understand our love."
"...Kasuka, you're my little brother." He didn't want to see Kasuka's face. "I've never seen you as family, nii-san. You're mine." The chills against his skin were getting worse. "I'll become more and more popular as an actor. I'll get bigger and then no one will be able to stop us. I'll protect you, nii-san." Shaking his head in disappointment, he stood up. "What happened to you Kasuka?"
His little brother smiled, one that made him take a step back. "You did this, nii-san. You tried to make me jealous with Tanaka-sensei and Orihara-san. It will all end the same. You'll come with me." The teen in front of him was really insane. "Even if I have to get rid of them." No. He wasn't letting them get hurt. "They aren't involved. After next month, it will be just me."
"Good." Kasuka took a step forward, resting his fingers on his cheek. "I'm the only one who will love you, nii-san." Hearing the door open, his little brother backed away. "Any sign of them?" Shizuo nodded, forcing a smile, inwardly he was shaking like a damn leaf. "Yeah, Izaya said they'll be soon."
Half an hour later and Izaya was rushing down the aisle, sitting in between him and Kasuka, grinning with a murderous look in his eyes. "Sorry about that, mum wanted to look perfect." Izaya's hand slid into his own, holding it tightly. Damn it he felt better already. The music started up and the double doors opened. Kyouko looked stunning, the twins behind her. Slowly she made her way down the aisle, smiling at his father. This was it.
It was the first wedding he had been to, his eyes locked onto his father and soon to be step mother. They looked happy. He listened as they said their vows, never once breaking eye contact. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." He had never seen something as gross when his father and Kyouko kissed. They were now a family, Shizuo let go of Izaya's hand. "Shizu-chan?"
The wedding reception was interrupted by a man he didn't know. "Hanejima-san, I've been trying to call you. Your audition is in less than an hour..." Shizuo watched in amazement as his little brother was scolded and dragged away. "Hey wait. How did you know I was here?" Next to him Izaya was waving. "Goodbye Kasuka-kun." He couldn't have... Kasuka was glaring at the flea.
"We need to get to the airport. Take care Izaya, Shizuo." He would never get used to the hugs or kisses. "Have fun, mum. Don't worry, I'll take care of Shizu-chan." Smacking that hand away he glared at the other teen. "Son, Izaya. I'll see you again in a few weeks." He watched as his father and step mother climbed into the car, driving towards their honeymoon.
He didn't hear anything from Kasuka after that, he was left alone to carry on with his school life. One study session, he put his pen down, Tom standing over the table. "I've booked your exams. You have them next week." Time was up. Now everyone in the school knew that they were taking the exams earlier. Tom had made an announcement to the entire school, offering the same for anyone else, of course no one stepped forward.
Lately every time they stepped outside of the office, one or both of them were stopped. This time it was Izaya. A girl in their class had her head bowed. "Orihara-san, can I talk to you?" Her cheeks were flushed, hands clenched. It was another confession. "Sure. Don't get jealous, Shizu-chan." As if he would. He had his fair amount of confessions as well, everyone thinking he was some sort of genius. As expected the girl ran past him, balling her eyes out. They should know not to fall for Izaya. And so should he.
The first day of their exams, he went to the boys bathroom and took out the chain he had brought. Sliding the ring off, Shizuo looked at the indent it had made. He should throw it away, but he couldn't bring himself do to it. Sliding the ring onto the chain, he fixed the clasp around his neck, hiding the ring underneath his shirt. If anyone else asked, he could say he lost it.
When he got to the office, Izaya was already there. "Ready protozoan?" Nodding his head, he sat on one of the chairs waiting for Tom. "Where's your ring?" Glancing down, he saw that there was nothing on his finger. "Must have left it at Kadota's." He could feel those crimson eyes on him. "Really?" That conversation didn't go any further. "Izaya, Shizuo. If you'll follow me."
They were taken to an empty room, Tom and another person was in the room. "Would you prefer to break them up throughout the week or take them in one go?" Both of them glanced at each other. "In one go." The sooner they were over the better. The room seemed to echo as they walked to separate sides, the chairs scraping as they were pulled back. "The first test you have one hour and forty five minutes. You may begin."
By the time the exams finished, he had a huge headache and was laying on the roof, a hand over his eyes. There was no one else on the roof. He was alone and that's how he would remain. Next to him was the only two items he brought to school now. His cigarettes and his phone. Just a little longer and he could break all of his bonds.
It was almost another two weeks before they found out anything. Tom hadn't called them into his office, they no longer had to come to school, but he did so anyway. So filing in with the rest of the students, he took a seat for the morning assembly. "Good morning. Firstly I'd like to say thank you. Everyone's attendance has been up, with fewer absences. Next, can Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima come to the stage." He wasn't aware Izaya was at school.
Getting up, he made his way down the stairs, relaxing when he saw Tom smiling at him. Izaya appeared from nowhere, hopping onto the stage. "As I made everyone aware, Orihara and Heiwajima took their exams early. They both passed. Today will be their last day of school. Congratulations." Shizuo blinked taking the small tube, which held his results. Izaya was tossing his in the air and catching it again. He smiled in shock. Today was his last day with Izaya. His heart clenched, but he forced himself to act normal.
Clapping filled the auditorium, from the rest of the school and it was something he never thought he'd hear. Everyone had hated him for being so violent. Now he was one of the most popular in school. Turning away, he quickly climbed down the small steps, while Izaya bowed on stage, as if he was the greatest.
"Congratulations." He froze in the middle of the corridor. "I'm not apologizing for what I did. Good luck Shizuo." As quickly as Shinra had appeared, he was gone. He spent the rest of the day on the roof, Kadota and the two otaku's skipped classes to be with him. Izaya was there as well. He would miss all of them. "You don't look happy." Kadota rested a hand on his shoulder. "It was what you wanted, no more school. What did you get anyway?"
"Just over average." Izaya grinned. "Perfect marks." Shizuo glanced down seeing the time on his phone. "I'll be back in a while." Making his way down to Tom's office, he knocked on the door. "Come in. Shizuo!" Being alone, just the two of them, he couldn't help but feel a little awkward. "I came to say goodbye and... thanks. For getting around the rules and... for everything."
The principal smiled, getting up from his desk. "I would do anything for you, Shizuo. I wish you the best and if you need anything you have my number." Reaching out, he took the outstretched hand. "Yeah. Goodbye." Letting go of the older man's hand, the teen left the office, he would never make that call. "Shizuo-san." He had barely reached the end of the corridor. Looking over his shoulder, he looked down at a girl with short hair. It was one that had asked him out, last week. He had turned her down. "Can we talk?"
The girl led him out to the field, where the trees were. For a moment he thought she was going to arrange a gang to fight him, but wiped it from his mind. Only the flea would do that. "I-I know that you rejected me... But please can I have your second button?" Shizuo blinked, reaching up and tearing it off. "Why do you want this so badly?" He held it over her outstretched hand. "Uh uh, you can't give that away."
The blond let out a sigh as it was snatched out of the air, clutched in Izaya's hand. "This is mine." Why so much trouble over a button? "Shizuo-san, what's your relationship with Izaya-san?" He could see Izaya waiting for an answer as well, running his fingers over the small button. "..." It didn't matter how he felt. "..." He had to end it. "..." That's what he had wanted all along. To protect Izaya from Kasuka. "...He's my brother."
The girl smiled. "I see. I hope we can see each other again. Goodbye." Shizuo blinked as she ran off. He didn't even remember her name. "That's not nice, Shizu-chan." Ah, now they were alone. It was coming up to lunchtime, when he had decided he would leave. "Here." Holding out his hand he took a button he knew wasn't his. "Who's is this?" His step brother grinned. "Mine of course." Turning away he began walking towards the gate, the flea keeping in step with him.
"So even after all that, you only see me as a brother?" Shizuo nodded stiffly. "You really are a terrible liar." Shrugging his shoulders, he slipped the button into his pocket, not sure why he was keeping it. "Have you told Dotachin you're leaving?" A hand slipped into his own. "You don't plan on keeping in touch with anyone. Do you protozoan?" Shizuo said nothing.
They reached the gate, his footsteps seemed to slow. Outside the gate he could see a black limo with tinted windows. He never did ask Izaya what he would do. "Shizu-chan. I love you." His breath hitched at those words, Izaya pressing him against the wall at the school gate. Their lips met, the damn flea taking control, tongues entwining. It was nothing like a goodbye kiss, it was hot and messy. His fingers clenched, finding their way into Izaya's shirt. He didn't want to let go and he could tell neither did Izaya, but this is what he had chosen to do.
Eventually they broke apart, both of their faces flushed. "This isn't over, Shizu-chan." Their fingers slipped away from each other. He watched as Izaya skipped to the limo, opening the door and climbing inside. That wasn't a goodbye. Damn it, why couldn't Izaya go along with what he wanted? Shaking his head, he tried to steady his shaky knees, leaving the school gates. At the nearest bin, he held out his phone, with all of his contacts tossing it in. That was everything. His parents, his friends, Izaya. It was all gone. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he made his way into his new life.
Next:- A life lesson