Category: Sam and Jack romance/angst, Team/family angst

Spoilers: Set during and immediately after episode 6.04, straight after More Than Anyone.

Content Warnings: None.

Summary: Jack's been infected with the Ancient virus and he's dying. Not only does Sam have to deal with the very real prospect of becoming a single parent again, but she also has to decide whether or not to allow a Tok'ra to blend with Jack.

Episode 6.04 – Frozen

Releasing a long slow breath, Sam found herself sitting in the observation room again. Under normal circumstances, Sam had always despised sitting in the lonely, cold room, watching over a team mate and friend who was dying. This was the first time that Sam had watched the father of her child dying slowly in front of her with nothing she could do to prevent it. All that she could do was sit and stare down at him as a virus which had wiped out the Ancient race slowly killed him. A few days ago SG-1 had travelled to White Rock Research Station in Antarctica where Doctor Michaels and her team had uncovered a frozen body. Francine had informed Sam herself of their discovery, inviting her to inspect the discovery in person. Sam had refused due to Daniella's young age and the thought of being so cold. Instead, Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, Janet and Lieutenant Nicola Carpenter had travelled by C130 to the isolated base. She would have loved to have gone, having spent a lot of time communicating with Francine concerning her research. With the blessing of hindsight, Sam was very thankful that she had not joined SG-1 and come into contact with the Ancient virus.

Ayiana, the frozen Ancient, had the ability to heal others which was unlike anything Sam had seen before. Sadly, she had collapsed before being able to heal everyone completely. Of the three researchers stationed at White Rock and the five SGC visitors, Jack was the only one to not be healed and who was now dying. She was glad that everyone else was safe, but it troubled her immensely that there was nothing anyone could do for Jack except watch him die. Apparently Francine had fallen foul of the virus first and she had been quickly followed by Woods and Osbourne. A bad weather system had rolled in and no one from the base could leave until the weather cleared and the CDC could get to them. Communications had been out during this time, but as soon as they were functioning again, Daniel had called Sam and told her everything. At first, Sam had decided to stay away from the SGC in case something failed with regards to Jack's isolation. They were dealing with a virus which was over 800,000 years old so who knew how it would deal with hazmat suits. Janet had reassured Sam that the base and suits were safe and she had soon found herself sitting in the observation room, watching him fade away.

"In here, Thoran." Sam turned to the open doorway and saw General Hammond ushering in a member of the Tok'ra. They had been called earlier that day and the Tok'ra had sent someone almost immediately. Following Thoran was Janet, Daniel, Teal'c and lastly General Hammond. "Major Carter, this is Thoran. Thoran, Major Carter."

She stood and shook hands with the Tok'ra, forcing a smile at the man. "It is good to meet you, Major. Your father speaks a lot about you." Nodding, Sam was unsure how to reply. Thoran turned towards the others. "What can you tell me about the virus?"

"It's similar to something we have called meningitis," Janet explained. "It attacks the cerebrospinal fluid and despite the similarities, Ayiana's brain chemistry is significantly different to ours. There is nothing that we can do and our antibiotics have done nothing."

Thoran nodded in thought. "Sadly, I believe it to be beyond the capability of our hand device. There is another option." He allowed the option to sink into everyone without wording it.

Sam was the first one to understand. "Do you have a symbiote?"

"What?" Daniel interrupted. "Hang on a second, here." He turned to the Tok'ra face on. "You're talking about joining Jack with a Tok'ra."

"We believe that it will heal him."

"I do not believe that O'Neill would agree with such a course of action."

"He would rather choose death?" Thoran asked the Jaffa.

"We should give him the option," Daniel suggested and General Hammond nodded.

"Colonel O'Neill would not want to become blended with a Goa'uld. I know this to be a fact."

"We have a symbiote," Thoran explained, "whose host was mortally wounded on assignment. His name is Kanan and once Colonel O'Neill is healed, Kanan would leave him. A Tok'ra would sacrifice themself before remaining with an unwilling host."

"Doctor Fraiser, suit up and ask the colonel."

"Wait," Sam said and Janet paused. "I have power of attorney." They had organised it together a few days after moving in together for the benefit of Daniella. Sam had hoped to never need to use it. She turned to Thoran. "Arrange whatever you need to do. Colonel O'Neill will take the blending."

Nodding, the Tok'ra agreed. "We will need to take him to the Tok'ra base."

"SG-1 will accompany you with a medical team." Sam looked at the general, questioning his statement. "Not you, Major Carter," he clarified before dismissing them all. Sam remained in the observation room, watching as a medical team kitted out in hazmat suits entered the room and began prepping Jack for the move. She was unsure if she had made the correct decision; Teal'c was correct that Jack would never choose a blending over death. Sam, however, was not willing to allow him to die. He would just have to recover and hate her later. Time passed slower than normal as Sam watched and then followed the team take Jack to the Stargate. She opted to remain in the control room as Jack disappeared into the blue wormhole. Eventually, Sam dragged herself away from the windows which overlooked the Stargate room and made her way home.

With very little enthusiasm once home, Sam fed her daughter and put her to bed. Guilt niggled in her brain at how shut off from her own daughter she was, but it was all Sam could do to even make it through the motions. Daniella was grumpier than normal, but Sam had no idea if it was down to her teething pains, missing her father or having her mother acting oddly. Deep down, Sam knew that she had made the right decision. Despite Jack's dislike of the Tok'ra and their symbiotic nature, Sam knew that his priorities were different now that he had Daniella. A part of her was worried that she was wrong and that Jack would never forgive her. The three of them had been living in their new home for only a few weeks and although before that Sam had lived alone with Daniella, she now felt uncomfortable alone in their house. It was still early days and Sam was still working hard to bury and ignore her feelings for Jack, his peril was not making that any easier. She just needed him to get through this, she needed him to come home.

Moving her fork, Sam moved her dinner around her plate before realising that the meal had gone cold ages before. She dropped the fork, the sound of metal hitting china echoing in the open plan kitchen. Sam had liked the kitchen from the instant she had seen it. One wall was covered in cupboards and the cooker, opposite was a wall of windows which overlooked the large garden. The breakfast bar at which she was sitting was always bathed in light, either sun or moon, due to the windows and Sam sometimes preferred sitting on the kitchen stool than on the couch in the den. Tonight, the comfort of the moonlight was ineffective. She glanced at the bottle of beer sitting next to her plate. They did not keep alcohol in the house, but Sam had bought a four pack on her way home. After a few hours of them sitting in the fridge, Sam had reached for one and it now sat on a coaster next to her cold dinner. The difference in temperature between the cold beer and warmer room had caused condensation to form all around the bottle and it had now dripped down to leave a ring mark on the table. Just as Sam had not eaten a shred of food from her plate, she also had not taken even a taste of the drink. Sighing, Sam fought back a wave of tears that suddenly washed over her. She was so scared that Jack was going to die and leave her alone. SG-1 had always been close knit, it was part of what made them unique, but this time Sam felt worse.

There was a knock on the door and Sam jumped up off of the stool, walking quickly to the front door. Whoever was at the door knew that she had a young child because they had not used the doorbell, which meant that she knew them. It might be someone from the SGC with news of Jack. She quickly pulled open the door and saw Daniel standing there. "You're back. Is Jack…?"

Daniel shook his head and Sam nodded, fighting back her emotions. She stepped aside and he entered the house. She followed him into the den where he sat down on the couch. "He's still unconscious. Kanan hasn't been able to say anything either." She nodded glumly, perched on the arm of a chair. "He'll be okay though." Daniel did not seem too sure of his own statement. They both remained sitting there in an uncomfortable silence until Sam finally broke it.

"You want to know why I did it, don't you? You think Jack wouldn't have agreed to it, that he'd choose death over a Tok'ra?" She watched him nod, his eyes focused on the carpet left behind by the previous occupants. "Daniel, you've known him the longest and you probably think you know him the best, right?" She did not wait for him to answer. "You knew him during the first Abydos mission."

Daniel sniffed and for a moment Sam wondered if he were crying or at the very least fighting his emotions as much as she was. "Crazy, suicidal, death-wish Jack, yeah, I remember him."

"This isn't how either of us ever imagined having a child. Together or alone. But the fact is we do have a daughter. Jack needs to live for her." She still found it odd to refer to him by his name and often wondered if other people like Daniel thought it sounded weird. "I need him to live for her. You do understand, right?" Desperately, Sam needed his absolution. She could see his reluctance, but he did nod. After a very short silence, she forced a smile. "Fancy a beer? I've got some in the fridge." She had still not taken even a sip from the beer sitting on the breakfast bar and she had no intention of doing so. The only reason why she was going to give in to the temptation of the drink was to forget the horror to which she had condemned Jack. Those things would always be her decision now and Sam knew not only that they would happen again, but that she would make the same decision again.

"Thanks, but one beer and I really won't be fit to drive."

A genuine smile crossed her face at this and she laughed very slightly, standing up. "You can stay in the spare room." He looked at her, studying her face and nodded. Even though she knew that she was perfectly able to be alone with the responsibility of her daughter, Sam did not want to be alone.

"Sure."

"I'll get you that beer." Walking away from him, Sam headed to her discarded meal and tidied it up before tipping the open, flat beer down the sink. She just had to get through the next few days and then he would be home, alive and well until the next mission went awry.

Next Chapter – Episode 6.05 Nightwalkers