Hello! First of all, let me apologise for not updating in so long but the last two weeks were the last before Christmas break (that has finally arrived) and I was really busy. I had tests, works and presentations which left me very little time to write and I had some problems to start writing this chapter because it's kind of hard to write from a semi-unconscious person's POV, but it was something I really wanted to include. Also my marks at math haven't been very good so I've been a little depressed about it because I studied very hard and did all the exercises I could so I don't really know what's happening. I guess I'll just have to study even harder next term (sigh). I hope you can forgive me for being away for so long and for not replying faster to your reviews. I'm really sorry cause I know some of you wait anxiously for the next installement. I love you!!! HUgs
Thanks to everyone that reviewed last chapter. It made me really happy to read all those reviews. Please keep them coming. You are the best! Thank you for putting up with me and my crazy life of senior year of high school student! LOL
Disclaimer: SM own the Twilight Saga and all its characters.
Chapter 11
Bella's POV
The darkness faded lightly but I knew this was not over. I could hear two muffled voices, but I was too unaware to realize what they were saying. I felt something in my forehead and then heard a cracking... wood, maybe. I felt somewhat comforted to know someone was with me... Kurt probably... Then the darkness came back, pressing and pulling me back down...
This time though, I was not blessed with black and numbness but with images, moving fast forward but still allowing me to remember... to hurt over them... to revive what happened... over and over again... like if my brain was trying to process the overload of emotions by making me go through it again and again... I had no idea how long it had been... how long it would still be... Sometimes, though, I would just feel insensitive, completely numb... almost completely unconscious... it was a relief.
When the images stopped playing in my mind, the darkness pushed me down more forcefully; I could almost feel the pressure above my head... I knew it was worthless to try to resist, besides I wanted this too much, so I gave in, letting the much desired numbness settle, giving me some peace.
***
I felt the pressure reduce though the darkness did not lighten... it was different from other times though... like if my brain was responding to some plea... I heard a soft cry and felt a hand brushing against my forehead, somehow the touch was different from the one I felt earlier... less rough, more careful, but still familiar even though it felt like I hadn't felt it in a long time.
The same hand moved, tracing my features and the person talked again... it was a familiar voice... soft like velvet... it could only be the voice of an angel... I struggled to push the darkness away and try to understand what the angel was saying... it sounded important. It seemed that even though my brain was registering the words, I could not comprehend them. But they were spoken with such intensity... such adoration... I wish I could know who was here but my brain was already too overwhelmed... I could feel the heaviness demanding to take over as I fought to remain slightly aware...
A melody swirled around me as the angel sang... the tune was beautiful but sad... sorrowful... as if it was an apology... when the song ended the angel sobbed and cried... it was wrong... angels shouldn't cry... who was here?
When the angel spoke again I was able to grab a hold of a few words... they didn't make any sense though...
"... love... forgive me... come back to me... I love you... was wrong... love you ... all my heart... come back to me..." Even though I couldn't understand completely what the angel was saying, the words went straight to my heart, warming it in a way that I hadn't felt in a long time.
The angel stopped talking and I tried my best to move... to tell him to keep speaking... his voice was keeping the darkness away... I sensed some pressure in my lips... my heart almost started beating again at the gesture... and when it was over the only thing that was left was a tingling sensation... what was happening?... who was here?... I desperately needed to know... but my brain seemed to be repressing all information that I wanted...
Everything went silent around me once more... the angel had left... surprisingly the darkness had not come back... it was fading slowly...
Kurt's POV
I had returned from La Push as soon as I could. I couldn't care less if the wolves ripped that worthless excuse of a vampire in pieces and burned him. The only regret I would have was not doing it myself! But I knew that Luke was worried with me because I spent so much time in Bella's room and Scott had been at La Push for too long. Since he and Luke decided that we wouldn't let the wolves attack the Cullens I had to go along. After all, Bella wouldn't want to be the reason why the treaty was broken.
To amuse Luke I reluctantly accepted to go to La Push and see how Scott was handling the wolves. When I arrived to Jacob's house the entire pack was assembled there: some in wolf form, others in human form. According to Scott, things had been ugly when he arrived and told the wolves the news. It took Jacob all his self control to keep from changing to wolf again after so many years and it had taken some time before the wolves changed back to humans but they seemed more conformed with Bella's decision. Scott knew how anxious I was to get back to Bella's side so after spending a few hours with him and the wolves I came back.
Scott said he would stay longer to make sure that the pack didn't try anything. Jacob was still fuming about everything that had happened and not even Kate had been able to calm him down. For now they thought it was better to keep this a secret from the kids. If Bella got better soon, there would be no need to worry them or try to explain them something that they were still young to comprehend.
I got home as the dawn was breaking, and I had a brief talk with Luke, taking a few minutes to explain him how everything was going with the wolves before heading to Bella's room. I don't know why I was expecting that something was different... If Bella had woken up, Luke would have told me but I couldn't help but to feel disappointed when I entered her bedroom to find her still laying there, in the exact same position she had been when I left.
Everything was the same... well not quite the same... there seemed to be something off... I looked around the room trying to identify what was wrong but everything was right where it should be. It was something else... a smell maybe? That's right! There was a different smell in the bedroom. If it wasn't such a crazy hypothesis I would have sworn someone had been here while I was away, but of course that if someone had been here Luke would have known. Maybe it was some of the remaining scent of the Cullens from when the pixie, her husband and Esme had visited Bella. Or maybe I was getting paranoid...
I took my seat in Bella's rocking chair and just looked at her. She had been like this for almost three days... The only good thing that could come of Bella not waking soon would be the chance that I would have to kill that heartless excuse of a vampire but if I had to chose between that and getting Bella back I wouldn't hesitate to choose my sister's life. Bella had given me the love of a family, friends... she taught me what life should be like, how good it could be... I couldn't lose her; without her I wouldn't be anything of what I am today.
***
The day passed and nothing had changed. I decided to have a quick shower and change my clothes. When I returned from the bathroom, instead of taking my place on the rocking chair, I chose to sit a bit by Bella's side.
Someone like her did not deserve to go through so much. She only deserved happiness. She had helped me so much that I couldn't help but to feel like I hadn't done enough for her. I hadn't protected her like I had promised.
I was so lost in my thoughts that when her hand twitched, I wasn't sure that it had really happened. Maybe my wish for her to wake was so powerful that was making me see things that weren't happening.
Downstairs, Luke was talking with Catherine, Bella's assistant and granddaughter of Mr. Jones and Rosie, the older members of the Jones family. Luke was asking her to postpone all of Bella's meetings for the next week; hopefully Bella would be better by then. There were always a couple weeks every year that Bella would be extra busy with the company because it was when she met new clients and reevaluated ongoing projects and partnerships.
She hadn't moved again, if she had moved at all... I couldn't really be sure. I took one of her hands, holding it between mine.
"Come back to us Bells. Please... do something... come back!" I begged. Then her fingers wrapped around mine. I couldn't believe.
I hovered over her, looking intently at her face, expecting... waiting for... something I didn't know exactly what... anything that told me that my sister was coming back to us. Slowly she started breathing and it wasn't long until her eyes fluttered open. My eyes met her gorgeous green ones and she smiled weakly. I gathered her in my arms and hugged her releasing a breath I hadn't noticed I was holding. Relief washed over me as I realized that Bella was going to be okay.
"Damn Bells! You scared us. You can't do this to us again, lil sis." I murmured. When I was pulling away, Luke bust through the door almost pulling it off its hinges.
"I thought I had heard something..." He started looking around the room until his eyes landed on Bella. I saw relief taking over his eyes and for the first time I realized that he had suffered as much as everybody else because of this.
There was no denying that my connection with Bella was stronger than my brothers', due to the circumstances we had met but we were a pretty close family all in all. We looked after each other and stayed strong for the others; and that was exactly what Luke had been doing during the past few days: staying strong for everybody else. I couldn't thank him enough for keeping himself calm while we all freaked out. I got up from the bed, allowing Luke to hug Bella too.
"I have to go tell Scott." He said.
"Where... is... he?" Bella asked slightly out of breath, as Luke made her lay back down. These episodes always took all her energy away; I hated to see her weak... so vulnerable, not only physically but also psychologically. She couldn't hide the sadness and pain that swam in her eyes, more intense than ever.
"He's down at La Push, making sure the wolves don't start a war with the Cullens." He answered, keeping his face as calm as possible. Bella cringed but realized that nothing had happened.
"Thank you." She whispered.
"You're welcome Bells. I'm going to head there and tell them the news. Make sure you call Dave. He's pretty worried." She nodded and Luke left.
"How long was I out, this time?" She asked looking outside. It was already late night and there were clouds on the sky that promised rain at any moment.
"Three days, Bells."
"Only three?"
"Only?" I scoffed. It seemed like an eternity!
"You know what I mean... Last time I was out for five days. It should take me more time than that to wake this time. There was someone here that..." She stopped mid sentence.
"Only me and Luke have been here... well, the pixie, her husband and Esme came to see you but they didn't stay for long."
"Strange..."
Bella's POV
Who had been here? It was not a female voice but I couldn't exactly remember how the voice was like. I remembered some of the things the angel had said. I was almost sure it hadn't been my brothers. I kept thinking that had been Edward but it wasn't possible. Why would he? Why would he say those things? Maybe it was my heart that wished so intensely that Edward had been the one to be here... Who took the darkness away? Who had the power to lift definitely the veil of obscurity from my head?
"Are you okay Bells?" Kurt asked anxious. I thought about his question... Was I alright? No, I clearly wasn't. I had lost completely what I had of more precious and unique in my life, how could I be okay? Would I ever be okay? I wasn't sure. I probably wouldn't. How could I recover from such loss? How could I ignore the emptiness that weighed in my chest? I couldn't but I would try my best to hide how miserable I felt because my family did not deserve to carry this burden. I wouldn't make them unhappy with my pain.
"I'm fine." I answered quickly, lying as best as I could. "Could you call Dave and let him know I'm good now? I'm not in the mood to answer to all the questions he's going to throw at me. Meanwhile, I'm going to have a shower." I got up from the bed and stumbled a little and reached for the wall for support.
"Sure." He replied looking warily at me; I reassured him with a small smile. I made my way to the bathroom, always keeping my hand on the wall. I hated to feel so weak. I could barely walk, it was frustrating!
I removed my wrinkled clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water fall down on my body. The warmness of the water was comforting and relaxing but the silence allowed my thoughts to walk a not so pleasant way... I had never felt so broken before... so empty.
I hurried in the shower, dried myself and put on my underwear, wrapping my towel around me and heading back to my room to dress some washed clothes. Kurt was still there.
"I've already talked to Dave. He wants you to call him as soon as you can." I nodded walking toward my wardrobe; my legs were still weak. "We should call to Aro and let him know you've recovered too."
"What?" I said, turning around quickly and losing my balance. Kurt caught me and made me sit on the bed.
"I said..." He started.
"I know what you said! You called Aro?" I asked panic stricken.
"Of course we did Bella! We always do! Besides we needed his opinion. We thought you would stay like that for good!"
"So he knows everything that happened with Edward?" I questioned.
"Yes. Aro called Angelo and Luke..."
"Damn it! You couldn't have told Aro!"
"Why not Bella?"
"Because if Aro knows, he surely told Henry and you know what Henry can do!" I said exasperatedly. I closed my eyes and focused, trying to find any familiar thoughts in the town. Of course I found them! They were already so close! I had to do something before the worst happened!
I sprang from the bed and quickly pulled something from the wardrobe, not caring about what it was. I put it on and tried to find my sneakers.
"Bella stop! What are you doing?"
"I need to... go... I have to help them..." I babbled, looking for my cloak.
"Bella you can't go anywhere! You are too weak! You have to stay in bed." I couldn't!
"I have to go Kurt! I need to stop this..."
"Stop what Bella? Where are you going? You are in no conditions to go anywhere!" He screamed at me.
"Please brother! Go to La Push; get Scott and Luke and go to meet me. I have to go!" I quickly tied my cloak, assembled all the remains of strength I still had in me and jumped out of the window, leaving a dumbfounded Kurt standing in my bedroom.
"Meet you where?"
As soon as my feet touched the ground I took off in a rush. Panic took over me and I prayed that I was not going to be too late! I tried to focus on their thoughts again but I wasn't strong enough to do it. I could only hope that I would arrive in time.
As I got nearer to the Cullens' property, I tried to pick up some noise that would indicate to me that it was already too late. There was only silence. Dark, maddening silence. Was this a good or a bad sign? I pushed my legs to go faster but if I wasted all my energy now, how was I supposed to fight if it come to it? I forced myself to slow down a bit and tried to convince myself that the silence was something good.
I entered the Cullens yard and skittered a bit on the wet grass before stopping right in front of my two less favorite vampire friends at the moment. I had my back turned to the house; my legs were slightly apart and flexed, I was ready to act if they tried anything.
"Isn't it a little late for visits, boys?" I said, trying my best to ignore the weakness that threatened to take over me; I fought to keep standing.
"Bella!" Cooper exclaimed running to hug me. "You're okay."
"Yeah, I'm fine. You can let go of me Coop." I hadn't forgotten what they were here for and I knew how they worked. I wouldn't let them distract me. Stephan came to me and hugged me a little less enthusiastically than Cooper, he too had not forget what he was here to do and he knew I wasn't just going to sit and watch.
"Hey gorgeous." Stefan has called me that ever since he met me. I've been trying to convince him to call me by my name for as long. "It's good to know you're still with us. And by the way, that skirt looks really great on you. Gotta love Henry for the clothes he picks!" He stepped back, smirking, and the Cullens chose that exact moment to step outside, forming a semi-circle behind me.
I looked down at myself, only to realize that I was wearing a green pleated mini-skirt and a white plain shirt. What was the chance of getting two mini-skirts inside the suitcase when I was packing? I mean, I have a huge closet! This means that either I have too many mini-skirts or that I need to actually look at what I'm packing next time. Gah! I will kill Henry next time I see him and burn all these damn mini-skirts when I get home!
"First thing that came out of the wardrobe." I shrugged.
"You should do that more often." He replied, still smirking. I rolled my eyes, something that I found myself doing too much when Stefan was present, he was just so ridiculous sometimes.
"May I know what you are doing here?" I asked, ignoring his flirting comments, even though I already knew the answer.
"You know exactly what we are doing here." Stefan's voice became hard and cold. They weren't going to give up easily, I knew they wouldn't. If the Cullens had stayed inside I might have been able to handle this in a calmer way. Or not.
"The Volturi have no business to attend to here." I replied.
"That's not quite true... But we're here as your friends." Coop clarified.
"Bella!" Alice shrieked. From the corner of my eye I could see that Jasper was restraining her from coming to me, I internally thanked him for it. Stefan and Cooper would take any excuse to attack. "How are you? Are you okay?" Leave it to Alice to worry about me when my friends have come to kill her family.
"I'm fine Alice. Maybe you should go back to the house. My friends had the wrong house but we were just leaving. Right?" I asked, hoping that my glance would discourage the two of them. I should have known better!
"We do not have the wrong house, Bella!" Cooper hissed furiously. They were so dominated by their fury that it would be difficult to talk them out of they wanted to do. Unluckily for them, I was just as stubborn, if not more.
"And we will not leave until we do what we came here to do." Stefan stated.
"I will not allow it!"
"We are just making sure that this does not happen again. Besides, you have to agree that death is clearly an easy punishment. You know we could do so much worse... but in consideration to you..." I growled. No one would touch one single member of the Cullen family while I lived, especially not Edward! He may have broke my heart in ways that I didn't know were even possible but I would not let anyone lay one finger on him.
"NO! You are going to leave right away! This is my personal life! You have nothing to do here." I said furiously. They had no right to do this!
"We are your friends! We swore to protect you and that's what we're going to do." I was tired of hearing everybody claiming that killing... Edward was the only way to keep me protected.
"Exactly!" I cried. "You are my friends, therefore you should support my decisions not go against them."I screamed. "And right now I've decided that I'll go back home, you'll go back to Italy and everything will go on like always."
"No Bella! As your friends we are supposed to intervene when you are putting everyone else above yourself, when you are too kind for your own good, when you don't protect yourself! And this is clearly one of those cases. But if you don't let us act as your friends we can easily turn this into a professional visit." Stefan spoke once more, with an evil glint in his red eyes. He was enjoying this!
"And what are you going to accuse them of? They haven't broken any law. " I said confident.
"Haven't they? Your position is almost as important as Aro's, Marcus' and Caius' which means that the rules that are to be followed with them are to be followed with you." I still didn't understand where he was going with this. "We can consider it an offense..."
"Are you insane? Offense? There's not even a rule for that!"
"Seriously Bella? Everybody knows that those who attack verbal or physically the Volturi do not go unpunished!"
"I'm not part of the Volturi. Not anymore!"
"Of course you are. While there's someone in Volterra who cares for you and considers you a friend, family even, you are part of the Volturi. Besides, you may not work for the Volturi but you still work with us."
"This is enough! I declare that I did not consider it an offense. It was merely ... the expression of... an opinion." I didn't know what else to say. I just wanted this over with! Couldn't they understand how much this was hurting me?
"The expression of an opinion? Are you sure?" Cooper scoffed. "Because that was not what Master and Angelo told Henry!"
"Henry should mind his own business! I didn't ask for anything."
"We can always consider it a murder attempt... That is also punished with death." Stefan mused with satisfaction. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Stefan was always too protective but I couldn't imagine him looking for excuses to kill Edward! He was supposed to be my friend, damn! All the Cullens hold their breath and a few growls came from behind me, probably from Jasper and Emmett. I was just grateful they weren't provoking Stefan and Cooper. I know how much Emmet would love a fight but these two were not the right vampires to pick a fight with.
"Stop it! Just stop it!" I screamed in despair. "You're not going to kill anybody."
"What if we spare the rest of the family? You let us kill him and we'll leave, not happy but satisfied." Stefan tried to compromise. The Cullen family tensed up behind me. Did they actually think I would agree to this?
"Stefan, I'm not going to let you kill anybody! Anybody!" My voice was starting to waver and I could feel my legs trembling slightly. That did not go unnoticed by my two visiting friends.
"When exactly have you 'woken up', Bells?" Coop asked concerned.
"About fifteen minutes ago." I answered dismissively.
"What? You shouldn't be here! Do you plan to go back to comatose land in the next few minutes?" He took two steps forward, trying to reach me and I took one step back, letting him know that he should stay in his place. Thankfully he got the message and returned to his place next to Stefan.
I knew I shouldn't be straining myself, that I wasn't strong enough to be doing this and that I could shut down again... I knew it but I wasn't about to let them kill the family that once was mine too.
"It doesn't matter! I'm not going to let you hurt any of them." I replied fiercely.
"You should be in bed, resting; or in the forest, hunting, not here risking your life for him! He did nothing but to hurt you and you still want to defend him?" You can barely stand! What are you doing to yourself, Bella?" Stefan questioned disapprovingly.
"I may not be at the top of my strength but don't doubt that I can kick your asses if you try to do anything. Go away now!" I hated to have to do this but I wouldn't endanger the Cullens.
"Bella, I can't believe you're doing this!" Cooper hissed.
"Henry will kill us when he finds out we didn't end what we came here to do. Hell, we didn't even start!"
"I'll deal with Henry when the time comes, Stefan. He has no right to pry into my personal affairs, and neither do you. So please go away!" I screamed impatiently; each minute that passed I could feel my body losing its last remains of strength: my legs keep getting weaker, in a few minutes I wouldn't be able to stand, my senses were getting less sharp and I had to control myself to keep my breathing normal.
"We can't Bella!" They insisted. I had to end this!
"I really didn't want to do this, guys, but you leave me no other choice." I straightened my posture and tried to produce the most imperative voice I could. "As your hierarchic superior, I order you to go back to Italy and to not come to Forks unless I expressly request it. If you disobey me I'll dismiss you from your positions at the guard." I hated to threaten them; after all they were some of my closest friends, not to mention that they were part of my personal guard when I was part of the Volturi and when I participate in some missions with them.
"You wouldn't!" Cooper said shocked. This was something I usually teased them with but this time there was no hint of joking in my tone.
"Try me!" I dared. They had to understand that I wouldn't budge on this and that I would do everything that was necessary to keep the Cullens safe. "Please, just go."
"We are not going to leave you here with them while you are so vulnerable!" Stefan argued.
"They are not going to hurt me! And my brothers will arrive in a few minutes."
"Bella..."
"Just go, now!" I hissed dangerously.
"Damn Isabella! What we don't do for you!" Stefan grumbled, turning towards the forest and taking off running. Cooper came to me and took me in his arms. I was uncomfortable. Not only because the Cullens were behind me but also because right now, I had no desire to hug him.
"Take care of yourself, Bella, and if you need anything, you know where to find us."
"Go, please."
"Don't forget to visit soon." As soon as he disappeared into the forest I fell to my knees, not caring about controlling my breaths that were now coming out ragged.
"Bella." Alice screamed; Jasper was still restraining her. "Let me go Jasper!" She supplicated.
"No, Ali." As he said this my brothers appeared in the Cullen's driveway. When their eyes fell on me they hurried to my side.
"Bella! Damn Bella!" Kurt knelt beside me. "You couldn't have done this! Are you out of your mind?"
"Now it's not the time for that, Kurt. How are you, Bella?" Luke inquired.
"I'm fine, guys. Really!" I assured when they looked at me dubiously. I rolled my eyes.
"You can't be fine, Bella. You can't even stand. You shouldn't have left the bed. You know you can't." Scott scolded.
"I know, I know! But you didn't expect me to just let them to fend for themselves, did you?" They knew I was referring to the Cullens.
"Who came?" Luke asked.
"Cooper and... Stefan." I sighed.
"Henry doesn't play, does he? If Stefan had decided to..." Stefan was very powerful. His gift was somewhat similar to Jane's but the pain he caused was real and had physical implications in one's body, like gashes and burns. I was sure it was extremely painful.
"I know what would have happened but it didn't so let's not worry about that. He would never hurt me."
"If you hadn't arrived in time, this visit would not have ended so nicely, I'm sure." Luke groaned, glancing at the Cullens.
"Why are we even discussing that? It doesn't matter! Nothing matters besides Bella so let's just go back home and return to our lives. Come on Bells, let go back home." Kurt said tiredly, putting his arm around mine to help me getting up. I gratefully leaned into his embrace.
"Charlie's?" I asked; I could really use a bed right now, not to sleep of course, but to rest, even thought that was not what I needed the most. What I really needed was time alone. I would have to find a way to persuade them into letting me stay alone for a while.
"No. We've spent enough time here! We're going back home! Catherine and Rosie are worried and it's time to go back to our lives." Lives? What life do I have? What am I going to live for, now? Despair threatened to take over me and I fought to keep it at bay.
"No. We can't!" I tried to get free of Kurt's hold but he didn't allow it.
"Of course we can Bella! And we'll do it! Stop being stubborn. We're leaving and that's final! I'm not going to let you hurt yourself even more."
"Please Kurt, listen to me. We can't leave right away. We need to make sure nobody else comes. You know how much Henry likes to go against my wishes. I'm not going to leave until I know they are safe." I stated risking a glance at the Cullens to make sure my brothers knew who I was referring to.
"No way, Bella! You need to rest! They won't come back." Scott affirmed.
"You can't be sure of that, can you? I'm not going to take any chances." My voice held more strength then what I was feeling at the moment.
"What do you suggest?" Luke asked calmly. Sometimes I wish I could have half of the calm he has, or at least appears.
"I suggest that we stay around to protect them in case of need."
"How long?" He questioned again.
"Three days must... be... enough! Will you help me?"
"I'll help protect the others, I have nothing against them, but don't expect me to face our friends for that... bastard." Kurt declared.
"Sorry Bells, but I'm with Kurt." Scott said. I looked hopefully at Luke. After a few seconds of silence, he finally talked.
"I'll help you Bella." I smiled at him letting my eyes convey all the gratitude that I felt.
"Okay, now that that's settled. Let's get you a bed and tie you to it, it will be the only way to make you stay there." Kurt said impatiently.
"No."
"That's enough Bella! Don't tell me that you want to camp in their yard to make sure their safe... It's not going to happen so..." I almost laughed.
"I just need to be alone for a while, okay? I promise that in three days I'll be next to my car ready to leave but..."
"You won't be going anywhere like that! I'm not going to allow you to wander through the forest in that vulnerable state. You're not strong enough to defend yourself."
"I need this! I need to be alone to work some things out in my mind. It will be three days..."
"You're too weak! I'll only agree to it if you let me accompany you on a quick hunting trip. That way I'll know that you're at least strong enough to defend yourself or..."
"I'm not thirsty, nor am I in the mood for hunting; I can still handle myself for more or less two weeks..." I argued back.
"What if you let me give you some energy?" Luke asked. He wanted to use his gift on me. I couldn't allow it. What he did was take energy from from people, vampires, animals and/or plants around him and channelize it to someone else or himself, in this case me.
"No!" I refused. "We are too close to the city, you could kill someone if you got distracted and drained all their energy."
"I'll be careful. It's not like we haven't done it before. I've trained a lot during the past few years. I'm not going to kill anyone or anything. I'll remove energy from only the tree of us." He was trying to convince me.
"Then you would be vulnerable. I don't want you to get weak."I argued back.
"It will be just a little Bella. We won't even notice. It's the only way we'll leave you alone." Scott said. I had no other option but to accept. I gave Luke a slight nod and he immediately took my hand. Sparkling light blue strings flowed around him as he collected energy from Scott, Kurt and a few trees around us. The strings, then, wrapped around his arms forming an intricate pattern and slid down it passing to mine through our intertwined hands. I immediately felt the effects of the small exchange that was taking place. My legs didn't tremble so much and my breathing was evening out. As my senses regained their usual accuracy, I broke the contact with Luke, stopping the flux of energy.
"Let me give you just a bit more Bella! You're still not strong enough." He complained looking at my legs that were trembling almost unnoticeably.
"It's enough for three days!" I replied stubbornly.
"Please Bella, let me go with you!" Kurt begged.
"No Kurt, not this time. This time I really need to be alone." I looked at him with pleading eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly.
"Everything will be fine Bells. Just stay strong, kay?"
"Will do." I answered. I don't think I've ever said such a big lie in my entire life. I don't know if he believed but if he didn't he didn't pressed it. Scott and Luke hugged me too. It was their way to tell me that they were with me, no matter what. It meant so much more than words.
"if you need something..." Kurt started.
"I know, I know... I'll call. Don't worry and don't do anything stupid!" I straightened my clothes and cloak and tried to pull my mini skirt down as far as it could go, which was not much. The damn skirt was ridiculously small. What was I thinking when I allowed Henry to give it to me? Oh wait, I didn't, he forced it on my closet! As if I don't have enough reasons to kill him already! As I threw one last look at my brothers and got ready to take off.
"Bella." Alice whispered. The emotion that flowed through me when she called me was hearth-breaking. I realized what I was losing... what I had already lost. I was leaving them behind, again. This time though there would be no coming back, no hope of returning and that alone left me feeling emptier than ever.
"Yes?" I asked without turning to look at her.
"Look at me Bella!" She demanded. Why was she doing this to me? I tried to keep my face blank and turned around. "Are you going to come over before you leave, in three days?"
"I... don't... think so, Alice." As soon as the words got out of my mouth she flung herself to me, wrapping her petite arms around my waist. "Would you leave without saying goodbye to me? I'm your best friend! Last time they didn't let you say goodbye but now you can, why would you do it?" She sobbed. Should I tell her the truth? Should I tell her that I wasn't going to say goodbye because it hurt too much? Because it was saying goodbye to everything that I ever wished for, everything that I ever dreamed of and that I wasn't strong enough to do it? No I couldn't.
"It would be better for everyone else Alice, for me and for all of you."
"No it wouldn't. I'll miss you so much! I'm so sorry..."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Alice. It was really nice to see you again. I'll miss you too." You have no idea how much. I added mentally.
"Don't leave Bella, please." She begged.
"I... can't. I really... can't. "
"Will I ever see you again?" She asked hopeful.
"I don't know. But probably no, you won't. It'll be easier that way." I tried to justify. "I need to go, now." I gave her a small smile and took off before someone could say anything else.
I raced back to Charlie's just to grab a blanket from the truck of my Audi and went back to the forest. Everything was a blur as I ran as fast as I could. I was in a hurry to get somewhere. Somewhere where I knew I could let go of all the pretenses of being okay and just wallow in the pain and guilt that I felt; because the only person, besides myself, that knew of this place was the only one that would never come to look for me. I was going to the place that held some of the best memories of my life.
When I got to the meadow, I laid the blanket on the grass and sat down, removing my cloak. It started pouring and I couldn't care less. As the memories I had of this place overwhelmed me, I cried and sobbed, mourning everything I had lost: my true love, my family. Once I started I couldn't stop anymore.
I didn't know exactly why I was crying, I had so much for what to cry for... but in the end I couldn't really blame anyone else besides myself for this. Aro was to be blamed for kidnapping me and forcing me to stay with the Volturi for ten years but this, what was happening now, was my entire fault. If I hadn't let my fears overbear my love for Edward, this wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't let my fears take over my heart, I wouldn't be here all alone, now.
I had been a coward and I would have to live with that forever.
Edward's POV
Bella's brothers disappeared right after her. Alice ran to the house and everyone else followed, including me. I didn't know what to think of what had just happened. So many things had happened, so many feeling coursed through me that I was having some difficulties to process it all.
I went directly to my room.
***
The day had been born, the night had fallen again and it was still raining outside, it had started the night before and it hadn't stopped yet. It was like if the nature was sharing mine and Bella's pain. What I wouldn't give to end her suffering.
I had to do something! She was weak and miserable because of me. I had to find her! In two days she would be leaving. I needed to show her how much she means to me, how much I truly love her. I love her and I know that she loves me too so I'll do everything to get her back. Everything!
I just had to figure out where she was. Where would she go if she didn't want anyone to bother her? As soon as formulated the question in my mind the answer came immediately. There was a place that was just ours, a place that, unless she had told someone else about it, only the two of us knew where it was. It was worth a try, right?
I got out of the bedroom and raced down the stairs, heading straight for the door. Everyone else was in the living room, discussing Luke's power; Carlisle was very interested.
"Edward? Where are you going?" Alice asked. I just ignored her and stepped outside, letting the rain dampen my clothes. I had no time to lose so I immediately started running towards the meadow. I had never run so fast.
When I was close I slowed down. I didn't want to scary her and, mostly, I didn't want to give her time to run.
She was sitting in middle of the meadow, with her arms around her knees and her back to me, in a drenched blue blanket. Her clothes and hair were soaked, her black cloak lied on the ground next to her... and she was beautiful. Sobs racked through her body and her cries filled the air. How could such a beautiful picture be so heartbreaking?
Slowly, I moved closer, being careful not to make any sound. I controlled my urge to run to her and embrace her. It was unbelievable how close I was and how distant I felt, like if there was a huge gap between us.
"Bella." I finally called.
What do you think about it? Like it? Hate it? Please review and tell me something. Let's try to pass 300 reviews! We're really close! Love you all ;)
Again, I'm sorry for taking so long to post this chapter. Hope you can forgive me.
I want to wish all of you, my fantastic readers, a merry Christmas with everyone that you love next to you.
I'll try to update on Christmas eve but I can't promise anything! If not I'll update right after Christmas. I really need to go to bed now cause it's late and tomorrow I still have to go buy my parent's and my brother's Christmas presents. I already know what to get them though. HUgs