Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do make money.

55. Solitary

Theo sat on the window seat in his room at Hogwarts, looking out across the great expanse of land that surrounded the castle. He was glad that there were no stars tonight as he knew he would find himself wishing on them; wishing for something that couldn't change now; something that he had the chance to change but never the courage.

Sitting there he thought about the moment after Pansy being attacked, how she could have been his again if only he had the courage to visit. However, every time he talked himself into it, there was Weasley sitting by her bedside with her; and the chicken in him would turn and walk back out of the infirmary.

But now she was married to him: his first love, the one he had thought of non-stop for years was married to him. He couldn't count the number of times he had hoped or wished or looked for a piece of magic that would send her running back to him and away from his former best mate only to lose her utterly, completely to the one person he had under-estimated since he first saw the gangly red-head their first year..

How could he have been so foolish as to let her go that easily, to let Weasley have his first love?

"I brought you something to eat," a soft voice interrupted his thoughts. He turned to see Hermione walking towards him with a plated sandwich in one hand and a cup in the other, he didn't have a chance to say anything before she quickly continued, "You weren't at dinner tonight."

"Thank you," he muttered before turning his head to gaze back out the window.

"I'll just leave them here," he heard in the distance as he wondered just where exactly here was before she took her leave.

At least he thought she had taken her leave, after moping for several more minutes, he ate the sandwich she brought him – finding himself completely scared that she made his sandwich just the way he liked it: ham, turkey and cheddar with barbeque sauce on wheat bread. Standing up to go and thank her, he saw that she had fallen asleep on his bed with tears still slowly cascading down her face.

Crawling back into his bed behind her, he wrapped his arm around her and wondered why this couldn't be enough as he buried his face in her soft, curls.