Hello! First, let me thank to everyone that reviewed the last chapter. It was the best Christmas present ever!!! I hope you like this chapter, I put a lot of work into it and I really enjoyed writing it. It's probably one of my favourite chapters.

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Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight Saga and all it's characters.

Chapter 12

Bella's POV

I hadn't moved since I sat in the meadow. I was focusing on trying to accomplish the impossible. During the first minutes during which I sat in the rain I let despair take over me and I cried without shedding tears and wallowed in guilt and pain.

Then I decided that I wouldn't make my brothers carry my burden. Since then I've been trying to erase the pain that I was feeling, the only way to that was forgetting Edward. I had to stop loving Edward. Only then I would be able to face my brothers knowing that they wouldn't suffer with my pain. I had three days to accomplish that task. Three days to forget the love of my existence. I almost felt like laughing at the absurdity of the mission I had given myself.

It would be impossible but I had to try.

***

One day had passed and my love for Edward was still as present as eighty years ago. One day! One whole day trying to kill the love I felt for him, trying to at least forget it, or hate him but nothing had changed. I wondered if it ever would. He didn't want me, he didn't love me, he had insulted me, he had broken my heart but I couldn't stop loving him! Why? Why couldn't I forget him? Why couldn't I stop loving him like he had stopped loving me?

I probably wouldn't stop loving him in just three days; it was insane to think so, but what about in fifty or a hundred years? Would I ever stop loving him? Yes, I would. I would pull Edward from my heart, even if it was the last thing I did. I would have to!

***

When the night fell my resolve had not crumbled but my heart hadn't given in. It was like a war was going on inside me. Heart against mind. Want against need. It was driving me insane!

My love for Edward had born and grown quickly why couldn't it disappear as fast? Why could he stop loving me but I couldn't stop loving him? What was wrong with me? Why was it that every time I tried to remember how much he had hurt me I could only see all the good moments we spent together, all the kisses and touches we shared, how happy we were once? Why was it that every single time I closed my eyes, his beautiful face would appear and make me love him even more?

I don't love Edward Cullen! I don't love Edward Cullen! I don't love Edward Cullen! Sadly, the words that were carved on my mind did not register in my heart.

I was so mad at myself for not being able to change my feelings for Edward. I had to do it! I didn't want to but it was necessary! I tried to focus on the drops of water that still had not stopped falling from the sky. I was so lost in my anger at myself that I was completely oblivious to the silent steps that approached me from behind

"Bella." His perfect and velvety voice called and I knew better than to think I had imagined it. I tensed up and immediately got up and turned to face him.

He was soaked, just like me. His shirt clung to his chest and his hair was darker and wild as ever from his running, even though it was wet. He had never looked so magnificent. But the anger that was building up inside me had now a new target, him!

"What do you want?" I hissed. The only person that I didn't expect to ever see again had come to find me, what he wanted I still didn't know. After everything that happened, what else could he want?

"I want..." His eyes locked on mine for a minute and then travelled down my body as if it was the first time he was seeing me after eighty years apart. I surely looked awful, I was soaked and still wearing that ridiculously short skirt, my white shirt clung to my body and was probably the equivalent to wearing nothing. "I want..." He seemed to be at a loss of words and I was getting impatient. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? "I want to talk to you." He finally said.

"Talk? I thought you had already said everything a few nights ago. What else could you still have to say to me?" Maybe I should be the one to leave, after all this was his meadow, now that it 'we' didn't exist.

"Please Bella let me..."

"What is it that you really want? Was there something that you forgot to accuse me of? Weren't you still done with humiliating me? Or do you just feel like yelling some more at me?" My voice was bitter and angered. His eyes filled with hurt and shame and I felt bad. Why was I feeling sorry for him? He had been the one to break my heart and humiliate me!

"No Bella," He spoke almost desperately. "I just want to..." He stopped mid sentence and walked toward me but I stepped back almost hitting a tree that was behind me. The hurt in his eyes was replaced with determination and walked forward again.

"Or did you just come to enjoy the show?" I started sobbing. Damn! Couldn't I do anything else but to cry and sob? Why was he doing this to me? All the pain that I was feeling was transforming into anger. What else did he want from me? "Is that what you want? Did you just want to see how broken I am? Does it please you to see me in pain? Was that what you wanted? Did you just want to see me suffering because of what I've done?"

"NO!" He screamed. "Will you stop saying that?" He pleaded. "I love you! I just wanted to say that I love you and I am so sorry for what I've said, for what I've done that no one can begin to imagine how guilty I feel!" He let out a not needed breath and I cursed myself for letting him speak. I didn't know what he was trying to accomplish with this but I would not fall for it.

"You stop! I don't know what you're trying to do but stop this! If you ever loved me, stop! You don't love me! I don't know what you want but I can't take it anymore! Leave me the hell alone! You've already seen how miserable and pathetic I am so I hope you're satisfied to know that my heart is shattered and I'll never be a tenth of what I was." I yelled.

"Bella..."

"I just want to walk away from this! I just want to forget that I once loved you, that you once hold my heart in your hands because all you did was throwing it to the ground and break it in million pieces." I didn't know if I was being fair or not, I just needed to do this. I needed to let go of all this. "So don't try to convince me to stay, don't lie to convince me to stay. And don't tell me you love me when you don't mean it. Don't because it will just make me suffer more and right now the only thing I want to do is forget that..."

"Stop!" He begged.

"NO! Damn you, Edward Cullen!" I shouted to him as I locked my eyes on his. "I hate and despise myself because I can't forget you, because I can't hate you, because I can't stop loving you! I hope you're proud to know that you were able to make me feel the most miserable girl on the face of this earth..." Suddenly his hands grabbed my waist and pushed me harshly against a tree as his face came dangerously close and his body molded to mine.

In just a fraction of a second a twinge of guilt obscured the anger in his eyes being immediately replaced by resolve. Before I could do anything his lips crashed onto mine in a fierce but loving kiss, if that made any sense. All my senses were alert like they always were when he was so close: I could feel every single drop of rain that fell on my skin; I was very much aware of his hands that were still tightly grasping my waist, of his body pressed against mine and his lips roughly moving against mine with an intensity that he had never used before, like if he was trying to prove something.

I didn't kiss him back and my hands immediately flew to his chest and I tried to push him away. He didn't even budge. What was happening? I was probably stronger than him why couldn't I push him away? It was like if I didn't have any strength at all. Even though I was not responding he didn't stop. I kept trying to push him away before I realized what was happening. I had the strength to push him away; the thing was: I didn't want to. I craved his touch like a man craved water after being lost in the desert for too long.

Now I just had to decide if I was going to ignore my mind or my heart. My brain was furiously screaming for me to push him away; that he was only going to hurt me again but my heart wanted nothing more than to give in to this wonderful feeling that was burning me inside because I had been waiting for this for eighty years.

He pulled away and I instantly missed his lips against mine, his hands however stayed in my waist holding me between the tree and him.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me and that you don't want this as much as I do and I'll leave right away." He whispered against my lips while his eyes bore into mine.

"I... I..." I was too confused to reply but my lack of answer was enough for him and his lips met mine again demanding and insisting, with even more passion than before. The war inside me kept going until my body was no longer under the control of my mind but of my heart. I started kissing him back, matching the intensity of his lips and never breaking contact as we lost ourselves in this perfect moment.

Edward's POV

I was angry, I was desperate and I loved her. I was a mess, she was a mess and we were both miserable because we were apart from each other. I couldn't keep fighting my instincts anymore. Being close, holding her, kissing her,... those were the things that felt right to do. I just wanted to kiss and touch her; I just wanted to make her mine again! I was addicted to her and I could not let her go. I wanted the opportunity to make her happy, to be with her, to have my other half back.

I felt bad for forcing myself on Bella; I had not been raised that way. It was probably the most ungentlemanly thing I ever had to do but if it was the only way to make her realize how much I loved her, how much we loved each other, I would not regret it.

Having her so close made my heart soar and almost start beating again. Everywhere her skin touched mine erupted in a fierce burn that threatened to consume me, leaving a stinging sensation when the contact ceased. All I saw, heard, smelled, tasted and touched was Bella. Her presence intoxicated me and only then I realized how much I had missed her, how long it had been since I felt that way.

Her lack of response almost made me scream in despair. I was sure she loved me and that was why I hadn't pulled away when she tried to push me with her arms. The pressure of her hands against my chest had been almost nonexistent, like if she wasn't sure that she wanted to push me away but enough for me to see the doubt that plagued her mind.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love and that you don't want this as much as I do and I'll leave right away." I murmured never completely breaking contact with her lips and looking at her eyes. They were gorgeous, the deepest green I had ever encountered. I could look at them for hours and never get bored.

I was scared of her answer. I could see in her eyes the silent war that was going on within her, the conflicted sides that fought to win. I couldn't be sure of which one would triumph so when she didn't reply, I fastened my lips on hers again with the same intensity as before. Pour all my love for her into this kiss was not possible but I would try my best. I had been without her for so long that, after this, I wouldn't be able to bear anything that involved being away from her again. I desperately yearned for her touch and her lips were like heaven.

Again she didn't kiss me back but instead of making me give up that only made me fight harder. I needed Bella and I would do everything I could to get her back. All of a sudden, her soft, wet lips started moving against mine, becoming more urgent as we lost ourselves in the kiss. Sparks jumped between us, encouraging us to seek more proximity. Her hands, that had been limp against my chest after her feeble attempts to push me away, traveled up my neck to my wet hair and fisted it tightly. My arms enveloped her waist instead of just gripping it and I pulled her closer until every inch of our bodies was touching.

The rain kept falling around us, making everything more glorious and washing away all the pain, if only for now. Our tongues danced, eliciting sounds of pleasure from both of us as the rain trickled down our faces. I had never felt so alive and blissful. I had never felt so close to her; now that boundaries were not necessary, I didn't have to hold back. I could show my true love how much she meant to me and how great my love for her was.

When our lips disconnected, our foreheads touched and I opened my eyes to gaze at her emerald ones, looking for any signs of regret and repulse. I found none.

"I'm deeply sorry for what I said a few nights ago. I wish I could go back in time and take it all back. But please believe me when I say I love you with all my heart, when I say I want you and need you with every fiber in my body. You are everything to me Bella!"

Bella's POV

How could I not believe? How could I try to resist? I would never forget him, I would never hate him, I would never stop loving him. I couldn't because that would be like killing a part of me. Our love was so intrinsic to us that it would only cease to exist when we perished. Nothing would make it disappear and no one would be able to destroy it to a point that it could not be put back together, not even us. This love was a part of us; as long as we both existed nothing would ever compare to this feeling.

Using my hands, that were still tightly gripping his hair, I pulled his face closer to mine again and pressed our lips together. He responded eagerly, never letting go of me. I felt so safe in his arms… He began kissing my jaw and then my neck, leaving a trail of sweet, loving kisses in my wet skin as I tugged on his soaked bronze hair that I love so much.

The sound of the rain falling on the grass was soothing and Edward's presence was intoxicating me. I had been without him for too long. His smell was exactly as I remembered but my enhanced senses and the rain made it much more intense. I pushed him backwards, leading us to the baby blue blanket, laid on the grass, that was as drenched as my clothes, and his hold on me never wavered.

His lips searched mine again, as he let himself fall on the blanket with me on top of him. Our lips met and the fire in my body became more intense, more difficult to control. He swiftly changed our positions laying me on the blanket as his body hovered over mine.

"You're so beautiful." He gasped. I simply raised myself with the help of my elbows and captured his lips, bringing him down on me.

"You're perfect!" I panted when he broke the kiss. My hands moved to the hem of his white shirt and started undoing the buttons, allowing my fingers to slightly skim the skin of his chest, as he focused on planting small kisses in my neck. I pushed the shirt off his body, sliding my hands down his arms as I removed the sleeves. He shuddered under my touch and I smiled, glad that I affected him like this. I gave myself a minute to contemplate the way the moonlight lightened his skin and the small drops of rain descended his chest.

Then it was his turn to slowly and teasingly unbutton my shirt as I placed small kisses all over his chest. Everywhere his skin touched mine, immediately inflamed spreading warmness and pleasure through my body. This closeness that we were not allowed to have before I was changed was comforting and gave me the little piece of him that I still didn't had.

"I love you!" I confessed plainly for the first time tonight, locking my eyes on his.

"As I love you, my sweet, beautiful Bella." He whispered emotionally as my shirt flew to the other side of the meadow. Our beautiful meadow, filled with the colors and the pleasant smells of the flowers that opened during this time of the year and the glistening of the moonlight on the droplets of rain that accumulated on the leaves and the grass. Everything started here and in this same forest everything had ended once, and then a second time. And here we were now, picking up the pieces of our hearts and putting it all back together, after eighty years of suffering, pain and misery, and sharing in the most intimate way this love that consumed and completed us.

The rest of our clothes were quickly discarded and we got lost in the moment forgetting everything that wasn't the plenitude and intensity of our love.

***

Edward had put his pants back on and I was only wearing his wet shirt since mine was still across the place where we were laying. We were laying on top of the blanket, my head on his chest and our hands intertwined, as we shared little sweet kisses and watched the rain fall down on us. It still hadn't stopped raining; only in Forks would rain so much in the middle of the summer. It didn't bother me though; in fact it only made everything more romantic and intense. Even if I could I wouldn't have changed one thing about this night.

Suddenly Edward sat, pulling me up with him and making me sit in front of him. With one hand still interlaced with mine, he reached for his pocket and removed two small objects. The first one was the heart charm that had belonged to his mother; he reached for my wrist and swiftly placed it back on its place in my bracelet. The other item was my engagement ring, which was also a hand-me-down from his mother; he held it at my finger and looked up to meet my eyes.

"Is the engagement still on or do you want me to propose again?" He asked seriously.

"It's still on, Edward. It has been for the last eighty years."

"But I hurt you and offended you..."

"But I love you and I still want to marry you so there's no need to propose again. Since the day you put it there permanently, that ring had never left my finger until a couple days ago when I returned it to you." I said honestly. He flashed me a radiant smile and placed the ring on my finger.

"Promise me that you'll never take it off again even if you have all the reasons to do so. It didn't feel right when Esme picked it up from the ground and placed it in my hand. It was not its place. That ring always belonged to you, even when I didn't even dream of loving someone like I love you."

"I promise Edward." He kissed me and the ring on my finger as I smiled and then pulled me back down to lay in his arms again.

"I'm sorry I hurt you so much." He whispered after a few moments of silence. When I was about to reply he started humming and singing. The song was familiar and in an instant I recognized it. I gasped and pulled away just enough to look at him.

"It was you! You were the one who was in my room!" It was the exact same song the angel had sang while I was out.

"You heard me? I didn't know if you could hear me but I needed so much to see you and apologize… I had to wait for Kurt to go to La Push because he wouldn't leave your room. It hurt so much to see you like that and know that I had been the one to cause it. I was so afraid that you wouldn't come back. I love you Bella, I truly do… what I said the night we met again… I wasn't in myself. I was so shocked that I just assumed and… I just didn't know what to do and I started questioning everything and everyone... it seemed like the only logic explanation... If you knew how much I regret not being able to control myself enough to let you explain everything... I know this is no excuse but… It was so hard living without you these past years…"

"Stop Edward, please. You also brought me back." I said while he stared at me confused. "Your voice and what you said... even though I couldn't fully comprehend kept the darkness away and made it disappear." He stared at me." It's true and I don't want to discuss that anymore. I'm just so tired of the pain and the suffering. I just want to be happy and I'm happy now, with you."

"But how could you just forgive

me..."

"Eighty years was already such a big punishment. Why would I prolong our misery? Let's not talk more about that." I fastened my lips on his, hoping to distract him and I'm proud to say that it worked. Once I broke the kiss, the shadows that had darkened his eyes a few minutes ago were gone and they shone bright and golden with love.

"We should go back before Alice has a panic attack!" I suggested after a few more minutes of kissing and touching.

"Why? I want to stay here just with you. She has probably already seen us, anyway."

"No she hasn't!" I aid with confidence. He pulled us back to a seating position.

"You're blocking her? They told me that you could do that. Why?"

"Because I rather enjoy our privacy and as much as I love Alice I don't think she needs to know exactly what we were up to." I said nibbling on his ear to explicit my point. "Besides, hopefully that will save us from some embarrassing comments from Emmett."

"Point taken... Bella... would you please accompany me in a quick hunting trip before we go back?" He asked with a dazzling smile gracing his features.

"Why? You are not thirsty." I noted looking at his still golden eyes.

"Your brothers said you should be lying on a bed resting and that you should hunt..." He admitted. He was worried about me and I was better than I ever was.

"Edward!" I whined. "I'm not thirsty and the energy that Luke gave is enough. About the bed... I don't know about you but I'm quite comfortable here, if you want a bed though, I suppose I'm not completely against it..." I teased.

"Please love! It would make me less worried if you hunted, I don't want you to go back to that comatose state. Please, do it for me." I just couldn't resist him so I nodded. His smile grew wider; he got up, scooped me up in his arms and spun me around while kissing me.

REVIEW!! REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!!! I hope you all have had a very good Christmas, mine was great. I got a NIKE watch from my parents and then money and some books. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you all have liked it because this was how I had planned for it to be even before I started writing the story. I hope I haven't disappointed please REVIEW and let me know what you think. Like it, hate it, it wasn't bad... Even if you didn't liked it, review and tell me why I'm very interested in knowing.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!! I hope all of you have a great 2010 and that all your wishes come true in this new year. HUgs