Chapter 24 Part II
EPOV
The tears are falling now; Tears for the future, tears for what could have been, tears for the loss of things that I didn't even know that I wanted.
Please God, if you're there and if you're listening, please let her be asleep; please give me one more night, I need more time.
I love her so much, and I will support her decision no matter what, but I'm so afraid of what that decision will be, not that I can blame her, she's so young with so much of a future still ahead of her.
I know that I should have stayed downstairs until I was more composed but the thought of being away from her for one more second was unbearable.
Especially if my time with her is about to come to an end.
Oh God what have I done?
I'm taking the stairs at a painfully slow pace, and all too soon or not soon enough, I'm not sure which, I reach the door, God please let her be asleep.
I open the door and I see her, she appears to be sleeping, her hair splayed on her pillow, looking like the angel that she is.
I take a deep breath and begin trying to commit to memory everything about her; Every strand of hair, every freckle on her nose and cheeks, her scent strawberries, vanilla and sugar; the scent is completely Bella.
Her thick and long eyelashes that frame the most beautiful brown eyes that I have ever seen. Her eyes so deep that I can lose myself in them, the eyes that are open now. She is looking at me and I see the smile that lights up my dark world.
I try to return her smile, but I can't. The tears are still falling and I can't make them stop.
She then notices my tears and sat up straight in the bed.
"Edward, baby what's the matter?"
I walk over and sit down on the bed beside her, I pull her into my arms and bury my head in her hair, inhaling deeply. I am sobbing now.
"Edward, please talk to me" She is panicking now.
I try to open my mouth to speak but I can't. She tries to pull herself out of my arms so that she can get my attention, but I can't let her go.
"Edward, you scarring me, what's the matter?"
"Bella" I croaked "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." Was all that I could manage.
"Sorry? Sorry for what? Please tell me what's happened."
"What could have happened in the last hour that could be this devastating?"
"Edward, are you breaking up with me?" She asked and I could see tears begin to trickle from her eyes.
"Oh God Bella no, I could never do that, it's just that after I tell you what I have to, I'm afraid that you will break up with me."
"Edward, nothing would ever make me do that, now please calm down, whatever it is can't be that bad, you didn't cheat on me did you?" She asked now looking truly terrified.
"Oh Bella, love, never, you are the only one for me." I try to convey that with my eyes.
"Then please tell me, I'm sure that it's not something that we can't work through."
I look at her and take a deep breath, I was really hoping to put this off until tomorrow so that I could have one more night with her.
"Bella, did you know that antibiotics counteract birth control pills?"
"What?" She screamed. There was the reaction that I was expecting.
"Oh God baby, I didn't know, I'm so sorry." I tell her.
"What are you saying Edward?"
"Bella, the way that you have been feeling the past week or so; exhausted, emotional, hungry, water making you sick, mom and dad told me that they think you're pregnant love."
"No, I can't be, it's not possible." She said. "Oh God, Charlie will kill you and then he will kick me out." She wailed.
I give her the bag that I'm holding and say "Here baby, let's go find out and then we can talk about your options.
"Edward, I'm so scared." She said and began clinging to me for dear life.
"I know love, me too. Though I think that we're scared for different reasons.
I want so badly to comfort her, but how can I when I can't comfort myself?
She took a deep breath and opened the offending bag; She pulled the boxes out of the bag, gingerly, like they were a bomb, afraid that it would go off at any minute.
"Bella, do you think that you can do this now?"
"I think so" and she began looking at all four boxes trying to decide which one to use.
She chose one that claims to be the most accurate and easy to read: It spells out pregnant or not pregnant, instead of giving you lines, or god forbid smiley faces.
"Do you need help love?" I ask knowing how stupid that sounded, I knew that there was nothing that I could do, but I had to offer anyway.
"No Edward, I'm pretty sure that this is something that I have to do on my own."
We both read the directions twice, making sure that we had it down, but seriously it boiled down to, pee on stick and wait three minutes.
"I'm going to go in there and take the test, but I will come back and wait with you; I think that we should read it together, is that ok?" She asked me.
"Of course sweetheart, we'll handle this however you need to ok?"
"Bella, before you go in there, I want you to know that no matter what, I love you and I'm here for you in whatever way you need me to be."
"I know Edward and thank you, I love you too, more than you know."
She got up and walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, I began pacing and running my hands through my hair.
A couple minutes later, I heard the flush of the commode and the running of water in the sink. She stepped out and came to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest; now we wait.
Three minutes and fourteen seconds later, we walk into the bathroom hand and hand, to find out if our lives are changed forever.
She is trembling and I'm not doing much better myself; We both took deep breaths and looked down to the stick sitting on the sink and we saw it, one word; PREGNANT.
Bella became hysterical; I was afraid of this and I didn't know how to help her.
"Bella, baby, please breathe" She's hyperventilating now; "Love, what can I do?" I feel so damn helpless.
She couldn't answer me, so I did the only thing that I knew to do; I picked up my phone and called Carlisle's cell. He's always on call and so his cell phone is always by his side, I couldn't leave her long enough to go get him.
He answered on the first ring; "Edward, is everything ok?"
"No, we need you now." I told him.
"Calm down son, what's happened?" "I need to know what kind of help that you need."
"She's hysterical and she can't breathe." I tell him, "Please get up here now."
"Let me go to my office and pick some things up, I will be there in a couple of minutes, just keep trying to calm her down."
It seemed like an eternity but was probably less than five minutes and Carlisle and Esme were running into the room.
"Bella, sweetheart, can you speak?" Carlisle asked.
She just shook her head no.
"Edward, I need you to let her go, I've got her now, but I need room."
Esme, started trying to pull me away from her, but I wasn't letting go.
"Edward, your father is going to take care of her, let him do what he needs to do, son."
I reluctantly let go of her and backed away letting dad have better access to her.
He began taking her blood pressure and before he was even through, he pulled out a syringe and a bottle of some liquid.
"What is that?" I demanded.
"It's called Vistaril, it's a sedative, it will help her calm down."
"But.." I wanted to argue.
"It's safe for the baby" He said. "You're getting a shot next, you'll be no good for her if you're panicking too."
"No, I've got to stay awake, she may need me during the night."
"Edward, she needs to sleep and you do too; You both have some hard decisions to make soon and you both need rest to make them."
I noticed that her breathing was coming back to normal and she was able to lay down now.
He was now pulling out another syringe and told me not to argue; I didn't have the strength to fight him on this anyway.
I felt myself relaxing immediately and he told me to go get in the bed and lay down. I didn't argue, I was really feeling this now.
I was barely able to kick my shoes off by the time that I made it to my side of the bed, I climbed in and found the strength to take Bella in my arms, she immediately laid her head on my chest, wrapped her arms around me and was out.
I was still awake but very relaxed; "So I take it that she took a test?" He said as he and mom sat down on my couch.
I just nodded my head yes. "And I assume that the anxiety attack was caused by the results." I nodded again that yes that was the case.
"Your mother and I are going to stay with both of you for a while." "I don't want either of you trying to walk down the stairs for at least 6 hours, if you need anything we'll take care of it."
"Thanks, both of you, I don't know what we would have done if it weren't for you.""We'll always be here for both of you." Mom said.
The next thing that I knew it was morning; I was awakened by the sounds of Bella's tears but when I turned to comfort her, she wasn't in the bed. She was on my couch in my mother's arms.
Mom looked like she hadn't slept all night and she had such a big day ahead of her, I instantly felt horrible.
I didn't know what to do, I felt that I was intruding on a mother, daughter moment and in a way I was.
"Good morning" She said. "How do you feel?" "I honestly don't know mom" "Bella, are you ok love?"
She looked at me with a sad smile and said that she was.
"She woke about an hour ago, she saw that I was here and awake, she didn't have the heart to wake you, you were sleeping so soundly."
"Thanks again mom, for everything.."
"Edward, you don't have to thank me." "This is what being a parent is all about, it doesn't matter how old your child is, there are going to be times when they still need mom and dad."
"You're going to learn that very soon." She said.
"Mom, please don't try to make any decisions for Bella." I warned.
"Edward, I've already made my decision." "I know that it's something that we have to discuss, but I already know that I'm going to have the baby."
I couldn't help it, I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't stop the smile that I'm sure was lighting up my face.
"Really? Are you sure, baby, I won't force you into anything."
"Well, I think that It's time that I make my exit." Mom said.
"Mom, why don't you go get some sleep?" "You've got a big day ahead of you."
"Please do you really think that this is the first sleepless night I have ever had? I'm a mom remember?"
"Bella, can I hold you, please?" I begged.
She just got up and walked over to me, and laid down next to me, placing her head on my shoulder.
"Edward, I'm sorry if this screws up your plans for the future, I'm not going to hold you responsible." "I want you to know that you're free to go on with your life."
"Bella, you are my life, I don't have any plans that don't already include you and I guess now our baby."
"It's not fair to tie you down" She whimpered.
"Bella, there is not anything in life that I want that I can't include you and our child in; I just need to know, do you not want me anymore?"
She sniffled; "Of course I do, I love you more than life itself."
"Then why are you trying to talk me into leaving you, by the way that will never happen, unless you say that you want me to go."
"It's just that I saw you last night and you were so upset, I knew that I had screwed us up and I decided that I want to keep the baby, but I won't tie you down."
"Bella, you have no idea why I was so upset last night, it wasn't fear of being tied down, it was the fear that I had ruined your life and that you would hate me for it." "I was afraid that you would leave me and not have the baby." "Baby, I know that the timing is awful, but I want you to know that from the first time that I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were the one. The one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and one day to be the mother of my children." "Bella, I want this baby and I want you."
"We want you too" She whispered. Then her stomach growled, I couldn't help but laugh. The past several hours had been so horrible, and I knew that we still had a lot to talk about and a long road ahead of us, but somehow I knew that we would make it.
"Come on love, let's go feed both of you, but not before I kiss you both."
I leaned down and kissed her trying to pour all of the emotion that I was feeling into it. We both started getting worked up and I knew that I had to pull back; I wasn't going to make love to her again, until I talked to Carlisle about it first.
I then pulled her shirt up a little exposing her stomach, and I bent down to give our baby it's first kiss. I whispered to it that I couldn't wait to meet him or her.
"Come on sweetheart, food time." I got up from the bed and walked over to her to help her up. She just laughed at me, "Edward, I'm still perfectly capable of getting up on my own."
We walked slowly down the stairs and I wouldn't let go of her hand; Bella is known to be a little accident prone and now that she was carrying my baby, I knew that I needed to be by her side at all times, to protect them both.
I was still holding onto her tightly when we walked into the kitchen, when mom saw us together, a huge smile lit up her face.
"Breakfast time?" She asked.
"Please" Bella moaned.
"What do you want sweet girl?" I asked.
"Is there any more of that ziti left?" She asked.
I must have looked at her like she had three heads, "Seriously Bella, pasta for breakfast?" "Wouldn't you rather have eggs and bacon or something?"
"Apparently my grandchild likes my ziti and whatever he or she wants he or she gets." Said mom, reaching into the fridge for the pan of pasta.
I could tell already that this baby was going to be spoiled rotten before it's even born, and I couldn't be happier.
A few minutes later dad walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee "Morning kids, is everyone feeling better this morning?"
"Yeah dad we are and thanks." "Yes, Carlisle, I can't thank you enough for last night, I think that you saved my life."
"Bella, you're our family now and we take care of our family."
"So it may be too soon to ask, but have you made any decisions yet?" He asked.
"We're going to stay together and raise our baby, the way that it's supposed to be dad."
"I'm proud of you both, I had a feeling that after you both calmed down and talked things out, that is what was going to happen and I couldn't be more pleased with your decision."
"Dad, have you got a few minutes?" I ask him, I knew that this conversation was going to mortify me, but I had to do it.
"Sure son, office?" "Yes, please."
"Bella, I'll be back in a few, ok love?"
"I'll be fine Edward" She said rolling her eyes at I was walking away I heard mom say to Bella "You know that he's going to be overprotective right?" "Carlisle was too."
We walked in the office and I closed the door.
"How can I help you son?" "Well dad, damn this is awkward, I guess what I want to know is uh… uh…"
Dad just laughed at me; "Edward I don't think that I have ever seen you at a loss for words before, can I assume that this is about sex?"
"Yes, I mean is it safe for Bella and the baby?"
"Edward not only is it safe, it's necessary, when women get pregnant and they start to show, their self-esteem usually takes a hit; It is important that you show her that you still find her beautiful and that you want her as much as ever."
"As long as she's not bleeding and her water has not broken, if she wants it, it's your responsibility to take care of her, do you understand?"
"Yeah, I think that I've got it, dad."
"Any other questions?" He asked seriously.
"Well, God I can't believe that we're having this conversation, and just know that this falls into the TMI category but her favorite position is missionary with me on top, won't I crush the baby?"
"Edward, you can't hurt that baby, it is very well protected, once she starts growing more, you'll probably have to find other options for her comfort, but relax, the baby will be fine."
"Oh and one more thing, don't be surprised if her libido goes through the roof, you may want to consider taking vitamins."
"Dad" I said shocked.
"I'm just trying give you a heads-up; those hormones can be pretty powerful."
"Thanks again dad, I don't know what we'd do without you."
I rushed out of there to get back to my new family.
"Everything OK Edward?" Bella asked when she saw me.
"I bent down to kiss her on the top of her head; "Yes love, actually they're great." OK I'm a tool, but I was already trying to come to terms with nine months without sex.
I poured a bowl of cereal and milk and sat down next to Bella; when I heard Emmett, yelling at the top of his lungs "What is that God awful smell?"
He walked in the kitchen and saw Bella eating the ziti and garlic bread.
"What the hell Bells, that's disgusting this early in the morning."
"What's the matter with you are you pregnant or something?" He asked laughing at her.
She and I just looked at each other trying to decide what to say, I mean this family has no secrets and he was going to find out sooner or later anyway.
"Holy shit, you are aren't you?" "Emmett, language please." Mom scolded him.
"I'm sorry mom, but damn Eddie, you don't do anything half-ass do you?"
"Cool though I guess" "I hope it's a boy, so I can teach him to play football." "I can't wait to be an uncle."
At that moment it seemed like everyone we knew walked into the kitchen at the same time and I saw Bella begin to panic again. "Breathe love, they all love us and will do nothing but support us."
"Who's going to be an uncle?" Rosalie asked. "Me and I guess that means that you're going to be kind of like an aunt." Emmett said proudly.
"Well if you're going to be an uncle that only leaves two options, and since I know it's not Alice; Bella oh my God."
I nodded my head, to let her know that it was us. She walked over to us and put her arms around Bella; "Oh sweetie, are you ok?" "Yeah, we're ok" she said so softly that I could barely hear her.
"What's going on in here?" Carmen asked.
"I'm going to be a grandmother" "We found out last night."
Carmen came up to us and gave us a big hug and told us congratulations and told us that if there is anything that she can do for us, to please let her know." I thanked her for both of us, Bella it seems has lost her ability to speak.
"Is this a joke Bella?" Oh shit Jacob was here already.
"Oh Jake, you can't say anything about this right now; Not until we have a chance to talk to Charlie and that's going to be Sunday." "Promise me."
"Bells, I promise, but are you sure?" "Yeah, we're sure." She said.
"And you're going to keep it?" He asked; I saw nothing but concern in his eyes.
"Yeah Jake we're going to keep it."
"Edward, you do plan on sticking by her don't you?"
"Always" I swear. "Jacob this is my baby too; and they are both my responsibility, I will never leave their sides."
"Are you sure that you're ready to make that kind of commitment?"
"I've never been more sure of anything."
"Well then congratulations I guess" he came up to me and shook my hand and gave Bella a hug; "You let me know if he fucks up, I'll take care of him." he whispered to Bella loudly enough for me to hear.
Tanya, Kate and Irena came up to us and started talking excitedly about baby names, and showers, if we wanted a boy or a girl; Jeeze these girls could give Alice a run for her money, when they get excited.
Hugs were exchanged and Tanya told Bella to call her anytime if she could ever do anything for her. She promised that she would be there.
Speaking of Alice, I noticed that she and Jasper were standing behind patiently waiting there turn: Finally they approached us, first Alice came up to me and gave me a hug; "Congratulations Edward, I know how much family means to you, you are going to be the greatest dad ever. I just know it." "Thanks Alice" I said. "Bella, I can't wait for you to be my sister and I can't wait to be an aunt, this baby is going to be spoiled I promise" "And thank you so much;" "For what Alice?" Bella said. "For giving Edward the two things that he wants most in life; a woman to love and the chance to be a dad." Tears were running down both of their faces now.
Jasper came up to me and patted me on the back and offered me congratulations. He then went and hugged Bella and told her what a perfect addition to the family she was.
So now, everyone knew; well everyone but Bella's parents and her schoolmates. I didn't want to even think about it that right now.
I wonder how Bella would feel about home schooling, if she did that she could graduate early.
About an hour later Angel and Ben arrived and they were quickly updated on our situation; Angela went to Bella's side immediately to make sure that she was ok; Ben came up to me and said "Don't worry, we'll take care of her for you."
I knew that we were so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.
A/N
First of All thanks for all of the awesome reviews that I have been getting; You guys seriously rock and please keep them coming. I did get several from one person who has their PM disabled, I would have loved to respond to you, you're reviews made me feel great, If you change your setting, I would be happy to send you my thanks personally.
Second of all; I have already had one person suggest gender and name, I am thrilled by that; All others please feel free to interject their opinions.
Thirdly and this is mostly a warning; Next chapter is Bella's POV and it's going to go into detail about Bella's and Edward's discussion with Charlie. I hope I don't lose readers over this, but for a while Charlie is going to be villainized, but please have faith; I'm big on HEA's for everyone involved.