Category: Sam and Jack angst, Team/family angst
Spoilers: Directly for 6.13 and minor for the past few chapters.
Content Warnings: Mild peril.
Summary: SG-1 are put on downtime because of Daniel's odd hallucinations of insects flying through walls and Jack returns home from an otherwise normal mission. That is, until he starts to see things similar to those Daniel described. Before he can do anything about his own problem, his panic hits new heights when Daniella starts exhibiting the same signs.
Episode – 6.13 Sight Unseen
Jack was actually happy relaxing at home. He knew that he should be worried, or still at the base trying to help his fellow teammate and friend, but he was glad to be at home relaxing. After General Hammond had ordered SG-1's stand down due to the unexplained hallucinations that Daniel was receiving, Jack had immediately headed to Sam's laboratory where she was spending her day working. He had no idea what she had been in the middle of doing, but it had not taken much to convince her to ditch work. It was not very often that they both managed to get the same time off to spend it with their daughter and Jack was glad that neither of them were wasting the opportunity to. Sasha had welcomed the chance to go out for the day and had quickly arranged a shopping trip with her friends. This left Jack and Sam sitting on the floor of their den with their eleven month old daughter. Daniella was standing up right, unaided with both parents carefully watching her for the moment that she faltered and fell. She was getting better at sitting straight down when she did start to lose her balance, but there was always the worry that she was going to go head first into something. Sam had mentioned to Jack one day as she went off to work that the house needed baby-proofing and he did it all before she returned that day.
Since then they had both been eagerly awaiting the day that Daniella took her first step. Jack actually felt worried that he would miss it because there was something about his daughter that made him not want to miss anything. It was not only the curse of his job alone, but of work in general which meant he would miss huge milestones in his child's life and whilst Jack knew that there was nothing to be done about it, he still wished that it was different. Daniella had mastered the words mama and dada and every time that he heard the word come from his daughter's mouth, Jack's face smiled. She had also learnt her own name, but called herself and Daniel Anyan. Jack was considering calling his friend Anyan all of the time.
Smiling at Daniella for passing him a toy and then falling down onto her diaper cushioned bum, Jack tried not to think about his friend. It did worry him that maybe Daniel was finally cracking up and would soon only be fit for a mental hospital. Part of him hoped that it was caused by something Stargate related and that with Carpenter, Daniel could figure it out soon, but not so that they could all return to work. He was enjoying his day off. With Daniella firmly and safely sitting on the floor, Sam started handing her different coloured building blocks. Daniella loved it when someone else would build her a wall out of the blocks that she could then knock down. She would giggle and giggle and make Jack think she was even more gorgeous than normal. She was the cutest baby he had ever seen.
"How's Daniel coping though?" Sam asked with a smile directed at Daniella.
"He's trying to focus on the artefact we brought back, but I think he's more troubled by why he's seeing things rather than what he's seeing."
"I hope there is a simple explanation," Sam agreed, passing Daniella the last block. Jack watched as his daughter then started building a wall or something for one of them to knock down. As she did so, Jack finished his cup of coffee.
"I'm going to make another coffee, want one?"
"No, thanks," Sam shook her head. Jack stood and made his way into the kitchen, clearly hearing his daughter and Sam laughing after the clash of blocks falling to the carpet. Deciding that he was going to sneak a snack first, Jack reached for the cookie jar and lifted the lid off. As he did so, something caught his eye and Jack turned towards it, the lid in his hand. On the floor by the door to the back yard was a very long creature that Jack knew immediately was not of terrestrial origin. The cookie jar lid dropped from his hand as Jack could do nothing but stare at the lime green, centipede looking creature scutter around the floor. "Jack?" Sam called from the other room and slowly Jack backed out of the kitchen, not taking his eyes from the creature, before finally turning back to Sam and Daniella who were still on the floor. Daniella's expression was still that of a carefree child, but Sam's brow had furrowed. "Jack, are you okay?"
He opened his mouth to answer, but the sounds of two separate cell phones ringing stopped him. They looked at each other and then at the phones which lay on the nearby table. Jack already knew that it would be the SGC. Reaching for his, Jack also picked up Sam's and was in the process of passing it to Sam when he stopped, mid-lean. "Can you see that?" he whispered as if by talking too loudly he would scare off the new creature his eyes were seeing.
Jack felt Sam's eyes study him before following his gaze. "See what, Jack?" He quickly glanced at her, not wanting to take his eyes from the creature for too long given its proximity to the three of them.
"The large black, butterfly looking thing hovering behind Daniella." It was much larger than any terrestrial butterfly and a lot uglier looking. Jack was not sure how to move Daniella away from it without upsetting or scaring her. It was then that Daniella chose to pick up a block and pass it to her mum. As she turned, she paused, looking in the direction of the hallucination Jack could see. With the cell phones still ringing and Sam silently watching them both, oblivious to the creature, Daniella started screaming and shuffling away from the hallucination.
SG – SG – SG
"Did you think for anytime there that maybe you were going crazy?"
Daniel looked up from his notes and considered Nicola for a moment. It was a fair question. "Maybe a bit. Alien things have made me crazy before." Thankfully there was nothing that connected the artefact to Machello. "There's plenty of people who travel through the Stargate more frequently than we do so I'm sure that there's no link there." He was still seeing the oddly coloured creatures, but at least he was no longer the only one and he was able to continue working on the artefact. Everyone was sharing the same vision, which meant that it was probably linked to the artefact so it was up to him and Nicola to solve the problem.
"They're not all human that do it. Maybe we've become weaker humans by living here so secluded. We go out into this galaxy and what right do we have, we have no idea of the full extent of the dangers?"
"Nic, what's this about?"
She put down the notes she had been reading and Daniel doubted she had actually been paying attention to them. "When it was just you seeing the hallucinations, I did think that maybe you were going a bit crazy."
"Thanks." They both smiled.
"You've been doing this for almost six years and I… I'm not too sure how you do that." She stared down onto the desk and Daniel sat silently watching her, waiting for her to continue and not pushing the conversation. "There has to be some effect of being so secluded from everything else all of this time. We may share similar DNA, but there has to other differences. Different bacteria, different amounts of radiation, different causes of insanity. We've only known about these other planets for a handful of years. All of these other people have lived with a galaxy in their front yard their entire lives."
"Most of the planets we've encountered that regularly use the Stargate are normally under Goa'uld rule. They live in pitiful conditions under tyrannical rule, forced to use the Stargate sometimes. Other planets have only just discovered the Stargate. I don't think our biology is significantly different to any of the others to cause the Stargate to affect us."
"You say that now, but we don't know. After you'd been banned from working near the artefact by General Hammond, I took a ten minute doze next to it. I had a strange dream with how I thought your hallucinations looked."
"It's understandable to. Especially given that they're not hallucinations and you can now see them."
"I've been having terrible dreams for a few weeks."
"Since…?"
"Since we betrayed Fifth and used a sentient being's humanity against him. We say that we're trying to protect and help the galaxy because of our humanity, but I don't feel very human at the moment."
"What did the Replicators make you see?" he asked. None of them had fully discussed the torture applied by the Replicators. Teal'c had summarised his as involving his son, Jack had not uttered a word, Nicola had been oddly quiet even in private and Daniel had explained that his had involved the Goa'uld, Sha're and Sarah. Nicola had been the quietest since the event and Daniel had been putting that down to the decision Jack made to betray Fifth. Jack had moved on almost immediately, ignoring what they had done and what had been done to them.
"You and Teal'c had imaginary scenes based on your fears. I had a memory replayed."
"A bad one, I take it?"
Nodding, "And then Colonel O'Neill made the decision he made and since then I keep thinking about Fifth and the memory they forced upon me. I've tried speaking to Doctor MacKenzie, but the dreams don't stop, the thoughts don't go away. I don't know how you can have worked with him for all these years."
"With Jack?"
"I guess it's different for you because he's not your commanding officer. You can question him on his orders or decisions, like as we left the Asgard planet. I can't. I learnt a long time ago to keep work separate from me, but it's nowhere near as easy in this job."
"What happened to you?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"I saw a good friend die partly because of me, partly because of a CO's actions. Ever since then, I keep work at work."
Before Daniel could answer a crowd of people burst into the room. "I'd like to keep work at work!" Jack declared angrily, storming up to Daniel and Nicola who both sat up straighter on their chairs.
"Jack? What?" Daniel asked and then Sam came into view with Daniella in her arms.
"You better be working on the damn solution to these visions," she demanded as Daniella screamed in fear at the artefact and everyone in the room could see the over-sized orange caterpillar crawling all over it.
SG – SG – SG
"Sam, we're trying our best here."
"Don't give me that, Daniel," Sam argued. She knew that she was being irrational, over the top and that her anger was misdirected. Unfortunately all that she could hear were her daughter's screams in fear.
"Sam, try and calm down."
"What, because you're the picture of calm, Jack?" she snapped at Jack, ignoring the fact that they were inside the SGC and technically at work. Sam was fully aware of the rules governing their fragile work-life balance: at home he was Jack, anywhere linked to work and he was Colonel O'Neill. Today was an exception and Sam was going to speak to Jack however she wished.
"Maybe I'm not," Jack argued back in what Sam could only describe as a far too calm voice to even be his. "But, I'm not the one holding our daughter and possibly making her worse."
"Sam, Jack," Daniel interrupted, "We've been working on this ever since General Hammond gave us the go ahead."
"I know it must be troubling," Carpenter suggested, "but as far as we know there is no damage occurring."
"No damage!" Jack repeated with some anger and impatience clearly evident in his voice. "I almost crashed my car driving here because of some… thing, that covered my windscreen."
Daniella began crying constantly, her eyes barely open from how scrunched up her face was. Sam had no idea what to do to calm her. As her mother, she should know how to soothe her child and normally she did. It was usually the process of elimination: diaper, feeding, sleep, burping. Nowhere in the baby handbook had there been a chapter on how to deal with a child that was seeing scary things which possibly were actually present. No matter how frequently people told her that the creatures were harmless, that the artefact was harmless, Sam simply could not believe them, not when her daughter had not stopped screaming and crying for the past half hour. Not when Daniella's face was redder than a tomato, her clothes were soaked through from the tears and her breathing was far from regular. Sam had moved past caring that her own shirt was wet from where Daniella had been crying into it. For the first time in a long time, Sam felt unable to do her job and fix a Stargate related problem. Even worse than that, Sam had never felt so useless at being a mother. Jack and Daniel were still bickering, but Sam could not hear them over Daniela's wails that were so close to her ear. Her poor baby's voice was going to be so hoarse soon, and then the red-raw throat would hurt her causing more tears and pain. "Just fix it and make my baby okay!" she yelled from out of nowhere.
Both men were silenced and, along with Carpenter, they looked at Sam in shock. Even Daniella paused in her sobs to look at her mother, but it was only for a moment as she then began to cry again. Sam shifted, shushing Daniella in her only option at trying to placate her. Jack took only a second before he had stepped toward Sam and Daniella, putting his arms around both of them, stroking Sam's hair as she stroked Daniella's head. "It's going to be okay, Sam," he promised. Sam nodded her head against him, hoping beyond everything that it was a promise he could successfully keep.
SG – SG – SG
A short while later, Sam was slightly happier as she sat next to a crib in the main infirmary, Daniella was asleep after Janet had opted for giving the child a mild sedative. She had fallen asleep quite quickly after that and Sam's heart did feel a bit lighter. She was still concerned for Daniella, for all of them, but at least her child was no longer in fear of things that no child should be. It was one thing for children to be scared of monsters and the Boogie Man, but it was another to actually see those monsters. It had crossed her mind to head back to the laboratory to help Daniel and Carpenter, along with apologising to them, but Sam was not willing to leave Daniella's side. Sitting there with Janet reminded her of when they had first found Cassie.
"How's Cassie?" Sam was aware that it was a slightly random question and could be seen as coming out of nowhere.
"Like every other seventeen year old girl. She already thinks she's a woman and that I don't always know best." The smile on Janet's face showed that it was not an actual problem, more like a growing pain and normal life.
"It seems like only yesterday that I was heading down into that bunker with her. And now I'm sitting here with my own daughter, worried beyond worry."
"Cassie survived that. She's survived a lot for a girl of her age. I'm sure that Daniella won't have a stereotypical youth." Sam laughed at her friend's comments. "But she will survive it. Cassie's a Junior and has made it to the top of most of her classes. For an alien, that's pretty good going. Daniella has you and Colonel O'Neill as parents, so she already has the brains. Whatever gets thrown at her, terrestrial or not, she will survive just as Cassie has, just as you and SG-1 always do."
"I still can't believe she's a Junior already. I know I've been preoccupied, but it still feels as if she should be a Freshman."
"Preoccupied, Sam, what are you talking about?"
"I rarely see her. A lot of the time, I only see you because we have lunch together when I'm on base. She'll be going off to University soon and I probably won't even realise." Sam felt tears well up in her eyes and she found herself wondering if it was the emotion of the day getting to her or if her hormones were causing her to have a mini melt down.
"You're a new mother, of course you're going to have been busy. Especially with the job you do. Anyway, Cassie is a typical teenager and is barely ever home. All that you've missed is her grunting as she walks past, heading out with whatever friend of the week or maybe slamming a few doors." There was a slight pause and then Janet continued, with a smile, "You've got all of that to look forward to, whilst I'm just sitting there laughing at you."
"Thanks a lot, Janet." Sam smiled completely genuinely and felt incredibly appreciative of her best friend. "She's going to be fine."
"Until the next alien related thing, which we'll all be there for."
"I need to go and apologise to Daniel and Carpenter." Sam stood up and then paused. "You'll contact me if she wakes up." Janet nodded at Sam's obvious question. "Thank you. And I don't just mean for helping Daniella."
"Any time." Both women smiled before Sam then left for a quick visit to the lab.
SG – SG – SG
Jack pressed the button for the elevator, a sleeping Daniella on his left arm, her head resting on his shoulder. The sedatives Janet had given her had worn off hours ago, but she was still so tired from the events of the day that she had soon gone back to sleep. Thankfully, Daniel and Carpenter had figured out what the artefact had done and managed to reverse it. Since then no one had seen any creatures and SGC personnel had managed to track down everyone who had become infected. It still troubled him slightly that the creatures were actually still present, just in a parallel dimension. Hopefully that thought would soon fade from his brain so he could return to his normal state of being. Turning slightly, Jack ushered Sam into the elevator first and then followed her in. They stood there in silence for a few minutes until Sam spoke.
"I'm going to arrange a girlie thing with Janet and Cassie sometime after your next mission. Will that be okay?"
"Of course it is," he replied, glancing over at her. "I'm able to be left alone with our daughter." He gave a slight smile in her direction, trying not to concentrate on the term our daughter. It still jarred him slightly whenever he said it, despite their confusing yet successful relationship. Maybe he was more aware of it after earlier when, without conscious thought, he had hugged the mother of his child whilst in the SGC. Apart from the incident on-board the F302, Jack had never used their private life in the work place. Neither of them had abused either situation with the other.
"I'm so glad that today's over."
"Tell me about it."
"I can't help worrying that it could have been so much worse. Or that it could have been solved quicker if I'd have been able to help."
"Sam," Jack paused, again aware that he never called her by her name whilst at work. If she noticed anything odd, her face did not give it away. "You were where you needed to be. And, unfortunately, it's the risk we run every day – things being worse."
"Not with Daniella." On cue, their daughter fidgeted in his arms and Jack looked at Sam, their eyes locking. Her eyes were filled with fear and worry. "Not with our daughter."
Next Chapter – 6.14 Smoke and Mirrors
This took ages to get the motivation to write! But once I got onto Sam's POV, it flowed more. I really enjoyed the parallels that Sam must be feeling with regards to Daniella and when they first encountered Cassie. I also decided early on in the planning of this chapter that their shared panic over Daniella would cause any "out of character" aspects that happened.