Chapter Fifteen - Settling In

Alice was subdued when we arrived at our Alaska homestead. She didn't look at me or address me, which was probably meant to punish me, but actually suited me just fine. She was welcome to give me the silent treatment for the rest of eternity as far as I was concerned. I knew I would eventually forgive her, but only if I found my mate and my happiness, and not a minute sooner.

Just as Alice had described in her phone call, none of the family was giving her the time of day as they unloaded their belongings into the house, and Edward was indeed hovering annoyingly. He kept trying to take Bella away from me, babbling nonsense, until I finally snapped at him - literally. I nearly sank my teeth into his fingers as he reached for her the tenth time, rather than simply growling and shouldering him out of the way, as I had been doing. He quickly backed off after that, having only barely escaped my split second decision. He froze in the hallway for a few seconds, staring after my retreating form in shock. Only once I turned into the guest room that connected with my study did he start moving again.

I didn't know why he bothered protesting the arrangements. I knew he had heard Alice's phone call to me and knew what was going to happen just like the rest of us. Why he thought Carlisle might change his mind this time around and give him the time of day I had no idea. Then again, I was all in favor of betting against Alice now, so I suppose I couldn't really blame him for trying.

After being coldly dismissed by Carlisle, Edward raced up to the guest room and watched as I got Bella situated comfortably on the bed and removed her shoes. Esme had done a good job of cleaning her up with a washcloth and changing her into comfortable clothes back at the Forks house. However, several of the milder abrasions I had deemed insignificant while doing immediate damage control had bled through and contaminated her new clothing. It was just a few drops here and there, but the scent still clung to her. She also needed her hair washed and scalp scrubbed, now that her head wounds were sufficiently healed to withstand such treatment.

Bella needed to be fully bathed and changed again before she awoke, or she would likely damage herself trying to get to the stale, dry, but still tasty-smelling blood on her body, clothes, and hair. I had seen it before, when I first started making newborns and learned my lesson the hard way. Of course, I couldn't clean and change her myself. Though I wouldn't mind, I knew most of our family would object and consider it improper for me to be the one doing that for her. We didn't have such luxuries as privacy and modesty back in the vampire wars.

Now wasn't the time to worry about such things anyway, as we desperately needed to hold another family meeting. Bella wouldn't be waking for another day or two anyway, so there was no real rush, other than the discomfort the rest of us might experience. Just as I thought that, I heard Edward's growl and got hit with a massive wave of bloodlust. I realized somebody had turned on the heat and the nearby floor vent was blowing Bella's scent in his direction. I tackled him before he could attack her and manhandled him out of the room, nearly pulling off his arms as I forced them behind him in an effort to control him. I could hear the ligaments in his shoulders starting to tear, which helped him to focus on his own survival rather than on feeding from the helpless girl behind me.

I propelled Edward out of the room against his will and pushed him all the way outside for some fresh air. Once we were away from the house, he finally regained his senses and waves of shame crashed over him. He collapsed to his knees, nearly bringing me down with him, hiding his face in his hands as he sobbed. Tired of his dramatics and his belief that the universe revolved around him and his problems and feelings, I left him there in the front yard sobbing to himself and joined the rest of the family in the living room. Alice glared at me and ran out to console him. I shrugged and didn't even watch her go. Instead, I requested that Esme and Rose wash and change Bella after the meeting.

"Why don't we go ahead and do it now, since Edward needs a few moments to compose himself?" Esme sweetly suggested.

Carlisle gave her an encouraging nod. "That's a good idea, sweetheart. I think it would be a wise idea for Edward to go and hunt now."

"I'll take him," Alice volunteered. I noticed nobody else offered to join them.

"I don't need to go," Edward protested.

"You nearly lost it upstairs, son, and it'll be a little while before enough of her blood has changed that it won't tempt you anymore," Carlisle explained.

"Besides, we wouldn't want you to feel tempted to try to watch through our minds while Esme and I are undressing and bathing her," Rose snarked, getting up to join Esme upstairs.

"Come on, Edward," Alice encouraged. "It's for the best." I could detect a hint of jealousy from her, though I suspected she was trying to hide it from me.

"Fine," Edward grumped. "But just a quick one."

"Of course," Alice agreed soothingly. "We'll be back in a jiffy."

I rolled my eyes. Don't hurry back on my account, I thought deliberately. I was fed up with the melodramatic brat.

Edward hit me with his irritation and annoyance, so I gave him the sensation of needing to pee really badly. I had encountered that sensation in humans at the high school often enough to get it just right. It was a particularly disturbing experience for a vampire, since we weren't capable of peeing. Our bodies knew we couldn't, yet there was enough residual memory of it happening to enhance the sensation and make us desperate to try.

Edward whimpered and bolted for the woods, no doubt looking for a tree to hide behind.

If he thought the feeling of an overfull bladder was bad, wait until I shared the sensation of holding back diarrhea. I had a whole new repertoire of bodily sensations to share, thanks to all the torturous years of high school I had endured with the Cullens. Since my gift worked in the physical realm, rather than the mental realm, I knew exactly which nerve pathways to trigger to reproduce a variety of 'feelings'. How about bloating, nausea, drug withdrawal, and PMS? Mmm, not to mention being hungover, panic attacks, self-consciousness bordering on paranoia, and the hormonal mood swings of a woman in the last month of her pregnancy. Yeah, I could pretty much make Eddie's life a living hell if he gave me any more trouble. If he wants to feel human, I can certainly share some of the unavoidable aspects of the human condition with him.

I mentally snickered, thinking of what defense I might offer once he complained to Carlisle and Esme about me 'picking on' him. Tattletale, crybaby, mama's boy. Somehow, after this latest fiasco, I didn't think Esme was going to put up with his immature antics with quite the same level of patience as she had in the past. He'd really gone too far this time.

xxxxxx

We were finally all gathered around the dining room table ready to begin the family meeting which had so much ground to cover. Edward had obviously admitted to Alice that Bella had attempted suicide, which led to her emergency change, as Alice returned from their hunt sad and withdrawn. She was also anxious and on edge, waiting for the meeting to start, and I didn't bother trying to calm her like I always had in the past. I wanted her to experience her emotions and hopefully learn from them not to mess with people in the future.

Carlisle cleared his throat unnecessarily to get our attention, so he could bring the meeting to order. "We have much to discuss as a family, but before we can think about the future, we first need to deal with the past. Edward and Alice have both lied to us and betrayed us, leading to the near death of one of our beloved family members. If it weren't for Jasper's quick thinking and action, we would certainly have lost her, which would have deeply grieved us all and possibly destroyed us. Edward, Alice, both of you disobeyed a direct order from me. Edward, I specifically told you to give the letter I wrote to Bella, did I not? Yet, you chose not to give it to her. Alice, I told you to search Bella's future, yet you refused. Now I can't help but wonder. Did you really refuse to search, or did you see it and not want to admit it? Could we have prevented it if you had done as you were told? There were so many decisions Bella made before she pulled that trigger. So many times when you could have called to warn us of the danger, the impending catastrophe. You withheld the vision about the paper cut at her birthday party in hopes of getting Bella changed. Was that what happened this time? Did you decide to let it happen so she would finally be changed like you wanted, like you predicted?"

All around the table horrified, accusing eyes focused on Alice as Carlisle posed his question. She began rapidly shaking her head, holding up her arms in a gesture of both surrender and self-defense. Her emotions were full of fear, and she desperately screeched, "No, no, no! I swear! I had no idea! Honestly!"

"Like we would believe anything you say!" Rose scoffed, pulling an envelope out of her lap and setting it on the table. I recognized it from Bella's truck.

"Really, it's the truth! You gotta believe me!" Alice whimpered, trying to give us all her infamous 'puppy eyes' and pouting for good measure. I was pleased to note that nobody's emotions faltered in the slightest in response.

"She's telling the truth," Edward declared, as if his word was worth anything. He cringed at whatever thoughts he was receiving. Based on the emotions being directed his way, I could tell they weren't pleasant.

"Dude, having a liar vouch for you isn't very convincing," Emmett replied disdainfully. "And you apparently wouldn't know truth if it bit you on the ass."

"Language, Em," Esme softly reminded him, but it was lacking any heat. It was as if it was merely a habitual, programmed response to a particular stimuli.

"Sorry, Ma," Emmett answered in the same mindless, robotic way. It was the same thing he always said in response to Esme's gentle reprimand. I wondered briefly if either one were even really aware of the exchange, or if it was so ingrained at this point for both of them that they spoke automatically, without even realizing or processing it. But that was food for thought some other day, when I'm bored, with nothing better to do. Right now, I needed to keep my head in the game and focus on the problems at hand.

"Tell them, Jazz!" Alice insisted, appealing to me for my help and protection. Too bad for her, she didn't deserve them anymore. "Tell them I'm telling the truth."

I raised an eyebrow and stared at her with contempt. "Considering you've been lying to me for decades without me realizing it, I don't see why they'd believe me. I wouldn't even believe me. I've got no doubt you've figured out your own ways around my gift, just as I have for yours and Edward's. No, you're on your own for this one."

"Hear, hear!" Emmett cheered, giving me a fist bump under the table. Rose smiled indulgently at the both of us. The affectionate look she gave the two of us was a far cry from the icy one she gave the wonder twins.

Alice's face fell as she realized I was no longer on her side. She'd felt invincible all these years with me backing her up, knowing I would protect her with my life. She knew my past, how deadly I was, so she took advantage of my love and loyalty. She took risks, knowing I would either smooth things over with my gift or destroy anyone attempting to harm her. I was a glorified bodyguard. How low the God of War has sunk. Well, no more. I didn't plan to be a soldier or a killer anymore, but I was done being a doormat.

"I'm sorry, Alice and Edward," Carlisle calmly stated. "but your word of honor is no longer acceptable to us. You have both proven yourselves untrustworthy, taking actions that were detrimental to our family. You have deceived this entire family for decades about an extremely important matter, which calls into question every other decision you have influenced in our lives. If you would lie about something as significant as a soul mate, for your own benefit, it stands to reason that other choices you have made were for your own benefit as well, instead of the family's. You hid the matter of our bloodlust affecting Jasper all this time. Not only did you not mention it, but you actually belittled and berated him for things you knew were not his fault. You claim it was what was best for the family, but it seems clear to me it was what was best for you and Edward. The best thing for the family would have been to actively work on our control and hunt more often so we wouldn't push Jasper over the edge. That would have been done if you had shared what you knew all these years. I, for one, will never again be able to trust that anything you say or do is in the best interests of the family. You two have been 'playing God' and not very well at that."

Esme shook her head in anger and disappointment at the both of them. "After everything we've done for you two, how could you betray us all like this? You are truly selfish and shallow. I am so disappointed in the both of you. Using your gifts to benefit yourselves at the expense of your own family! Have you learned nothing from me or Carlisle? I think it would be best for you two to take a little break from the family, until you can get your heads on straight and behave in a manner befitting the way Carlisle and I raised you."

Alice and Edward were both truly devastated by Carlisle's withdrawal of trust and Esme's outright rejection. I could tell they were taken by surprise, neither of them expecting such consequences, though I felt Carlisle and Esme were perfectly reasonable in the choices they were making.

Rose was smirking at them now, pleased they were getting the comeuppance they both deserved. She had been worried that Carlisle and Esme would be too lenient with them and would fall for their tricks like they always did, but this time they were holding firm to their convictions.

Carlisle saw her fiddling with the envelope she had placed on the table in front of her. "What do you have there, Rose?" he asked curiously.

"This is the suicide note or notes Bella left for us in her truck. I checked through the ones she left for her parents, both of which were not incriminating. I decided to wait to read whatever is in this envelope until we were all together," Rose explained.

Edward gasped and stood up on shaky legs. "I don't think I can bear to hear this. I'm going to go for a walk until you're done."

"NO!" Carlisle barked, shooting up out of his seat. "Sit your ass down in that chair, right NOW! You WILL sit there and hear every last word she wrote! That is the LEAST you can do, after the things you said to her, you coward!"

My respect for Carlisle just shot up a few notches, and I wasn't the only one to feel that way. I could also feel Esme's shock, no doubt at hearing Carlisle actually say the word 'ass' out loud in her presence, and her lust at seeing him behaving so forcefully. He was finally taking his stand as the leader of this family and this coven, which was a natural turn-on for his mate. Seeing as she was a mother figure for me though, I pushed those thoughts out of my head as quickly as possible. Nobody wants to think of their parents having sex. Just ew.

I shuddered and focused my attention on Rose. The anticipation and apprehension in the room was palpable as Rose opened the envelope and removed the papers inside. We all sat frozen as statues as she unfolded the pages and began to read.

xxxxxxx

AN: So, what do you think?