The way you are.
Chapter 6
"Ryan, we need to talk" Felix said while he sit down next to me.
I looked at him confused. But put away my laptop and smiled a little. "Okay. What is it?"
"We need to stop"
I pulled up my brows in more confusing. "What do you mean by that?"
Felix sighs and stood up. He walked to the window and stared out of it. I didn't know what was going on, but I didn't like it at all. "What we have, needs to stop"
When those words were said, I still didn't knew what he meant. But as longer I think of it, the more I began to understand. I stood up, starting to get panic, and walked to Felix. "Y-you mean that we have to.." I couldn't. I couldn't said that word were I was most scared of. That word, that haunts me more than Slender man in the game. That word that were in my nightmares.
Felix turned around and I could say that he was serious about what he all said. "We have to breakup"
Tears were coming in my eyes, even before he said the word. "W-why? D-did I do anything wrong?"
Felix stroked with his hand throw his hair and sighs. "No, you didn't so anything wrong Ryan. I did" I looked at him more confused than I already was. But he just talked further. "We shouldn't have been together at the beginning. It was a mistake. I was confused and I tough it was the best thing that I choose you, so I could find out what I really want. But…" his blue eyes looked at me and I saw pain and apologize in it. "I still love Marzia. More than I love you"
If it was possible, my heart just stopped and broke in pieces. A tear was streaming down my cheek. "s-so I was just used?" my voice was shaking like hell.
"I'm sorry Ryan"
I sit down on the couch again and put my head in my hands. I felt so stupid! I really tough that Felix loved me, that we could be together. But I was just some stupid try out. He never loved me like he said me. Maybe he was thinking about Marzia when they kiss, touch or do even more things. 'Fuck! I'm so stupid!'
I didn't hear or see Felix walking to me, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him. "I'm sorry Ryan. I wanted to tell you this sooner. But I couldn't" I let out a sob when the doorbell ringed.
Felix walked to the hallway to open it, leaving me alone in the living room. What was I going to do? I really loved Felix. But he didn't feel the same. More tears were streaming down my face. I couldn't take it.
I looked up when I heard footsteps coming back. And there she was: Marzia. I felt angry, jealous but most of all sad. They were back together. And I couldn't chance it.
"See Ryan" Marzia said while she stood close to me. "I told that Felix was going to get tired of you. I told you he was just confused and used you to see what he really want. Felix and I are together. And we always will be together" she then turned around and started to kiss Felix.
'No' I tough to myself when I saw the two of them. This couldn't be happening! Felix would never do that! Not in this way! This was a nightmare! A horrible one. I need to get up! I need to wake up!
"You better go away, Ryan" Felix said between the kisses. "You know the way to the airport"
No.
"Bye Ryan" Marzia said while an evil grin was on her face.
No!
They started to walk in to the room and close the door behind them.
"NO!" I yelled out, grabbed my head and closed my eyes.
"NO!" Ryan screamed out while he sit up as fast as he could and opened his eyes. He panted hard and sweat was all over his body. Where was he? He looked around and recognize the room of Felix' house. It was dream. All of it was a dream. He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged them. Tear were still running down his cheek.
When Felix heard the scream, he jumped up from the couch and sprinted to the room. "Ryan!" he opened the door to find a crying Ryan, hugging his legs. His heart sink when he saw his broken friend. He sit down on the bed and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Ryan looked up when he felt the hand on his shoulder, and meets Felix blue eyes. "F-Felix" he sobbed out. He started to cry again and throw his arm around the others torso.
Felix was first surprised. But then, he just put his arms around the American and hold him close. "It's okay, Ryan. It's okay, nothing is going to hurt you" he started to stroke Ryan hair. "It's okay"
Ryan, tight his grip on Felix' shirt and hide his face more in his neck. He felt ashamed that he was so upset by a stupid dream! But even it was a dream, it felt so real. He didn't want that that will ever happen!
They sit there for a couple of minutes when Ryan's cry went down to some hiccups. Felix didn't asked anything in that time. But he wanted to know what made Ryan so upset. So he pushed Ryan away a little so he could cupped his cheeks in his hands and rubbed away some tears.
"You okay?"
Ryan didn't trust his voice, so he just nodded. He didn't look at Felix because he was ashamed of himself.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
'Yes' "It's nothing Felix" still he didn't look at him.
"Look at me Ryan" Felix said when he started to rub his cheek with his thumb. Ryan looked at him and saw that he was worried about. "Will you, please, tell me what happened?"
Ryan didn't want to. He felt so ashamed, but he didn't want that Felix was so worried about him. She he took a deep, shaky breath. "I-I had a dream"
"Sounds more like a nightmare to me" Ryan nodded. "What was it about? Were you hunt by a bro or Slender?" Ryan chuckled a little and Felix smiled a little.
"No, it was" he swallowed. "About you"
"Me?"
"And Marzia"
Felix looked at him confused. Why would he dream about him and Marzia. It had to be something bad. And then he knew what was coming. "Oh Ryan"
"Y-you told me t-that" tears were coming in his eyes again and he hide his face again in Felix' shoulder. "Y-you still loved Marzia"
"Ryan" Felix said while he hold his friend tightly. "Listen, I'm still confused about what all happened. But I can tell you" he put a finger under Ryan's chin and lift it up, so they looked at each other's eyes. "That I love you more, than I love Marzia"
"R-really?" Ryan asked while he stared into those beautiful blue eyes.
"Yes, Ryan" Felix smiled and put his hands on the American cheeks. "I love you" he knew that he said to Marzia that h didn't know if he loved Ryan. But now, he knows it for sure. He was in love with him.
Ryan blushed like mad and he wish that he has his masked on to hide his face. But if he did that, he knew that Felix will make sure that he didn't do it. So he just there: red puffy eyes and a huge blush on his face. But he didn't really care. "I-I love you to"
Felix smile grew wider and he pulled Ryan back for a hug. "I know Ryan" he kissed Ryan's head and snuggled in the brown mop.
Ryan just wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep again. His head was still hurting and he didn't feel quite well. But he needed to tell Felix about what Marzia all said to him. He didn't feel that okay about it. "Felix, I need to tell you something"
"You can tell me anything, Ryan" Felix said, he already had his eyes close and he could feel that he was falling asleep.
"It's about Marzia"
He was wide awake. He looked at Ryan and looked confused. "What?"
"About what she said"
"She said something? Is that why you didn't feel good? Because she said something!"
Ryan nervously pushed his self away from Felix. "She told me that: you are just confused and use me to find out what you really want. Let me finish!" he said when he saw that the Sweden open his mouth to say something, but close it. "She also said that: I couldn't give you anything, like money and that kind of stuff. And that you" he swallowed when he felt tears burning in his eyes again. 'Don't start crying!' he screamed to his self.
"That I?" Felix asked. He was getting really pissed! How can Marzia say something like that! Yes, he did made a stupid move. But it was not Ryan's fold! It was his!
Ryan took a deep breath. "That you will let me fall when you get tired of me and that you will never love me, how you loved her" he bit is bottom lip to not started to cry again. But he couldn't stop the sob that was coming out.
Felix, who was pissed as hell, pulled Ryan back in embrace. "Listen Ryan, I will NEVER get tired of you! You are the most, kindest and cutest person I ever met! I will never let you fall!" he tighten his grip. "And I already love you more, than I ever loved Marzia!"
A smile came on Ryan's face. "Thank you, Pewds"
"Don't worry about it, Cry" he stroke those brown locks when he felt Ryan forehead. "Jesus your burning!" he started to lower Ryan down on the bed. "Just lay down and get some sleep. When you feeling better, we are going to do some awesome things!"
Ryan nodded, and realized how tired he was. "I let you remember it"
"Good" he put the blanked over the American, stood up and kissed his forehead. "If you need anything, I'm in the living room. Just call me"
Ryan nodded and closed his eyes and fell asleep with still the same smile on his face.
Felix walks out of the room and when he closed the door he stormed to the living room, grabbed his phone and called one person.
"He Felix" sounds Marzia's voice, happy as always.
"Marzia we need to talk" Felix said, not to sound that pissed. But it was hard. He really was pissed at her! He was never pissed like this before!
"Okay, I'll come to you then"
"No, meet me at the park" he looked on the clock. Ryan could be alone for a couple of minutes. "I see you in a half an hour"
"Okay, see you then" she hang up.
Felix put his phone in his pocket and walked to the hall way. He grabbed his car key and put on his jacket. He opened Ryan's door a little to check before he went away. But Ryan was asleep. He closed the door again and walked out of the house. This was it! He needed to tell Marzia to leave him and Ryan alone. It was over between them! And they will never be together! That's how live is: a Bitch!