Hello! FINALLY, right?

First of all, I want to apologize for not updating sooner but, as I'm sure you can understand, college was my priority and it took all of my time (it's so incredibly tiring and demanding) so I didn't have any free time to write. The good news are that my exams are almost over so I'll be able to dedicate myself to my writing.

Thanks to everyone who hasn't given up on this story despite my lack of updates (I hope there's still someone on that side) and those who read, review and favorite this story.

A special thank you to everybody who reviewed last chapter. I read all the reviews and appreciated all the comments and thoughts on the chapter: the good and the not so good ones because they help me to get better and see what I'm doing wrong. I would like to get back to everyone personally like I usually do but I need to get to bed because tomorrow I'm going to study with some friends and need to have my head clear (important requisite to study organic chemistry XD).
A special thought to Elena Cullen Blye Winchester (hope no one takes offense) because she's Portuguese like me and it's nice and funny to have a reader who lives in the same country as me ;D Obrigada por deixares o teu comentário na nossa lingua, gostei muito de saber que alguém em Portugal gosta da minha história aqui no fanfiction.

I also want to thank my amazing beta Adri1577. She's been wonderful and gets my chapters back to me super fast!

Here's the next chapter of In the Shadows of Forever and I hope you enjoy it!

Please don't forget to leave a REVIEW. It means a lot to me! HUgs

Last chapter (Edward's POV)

"Oh, Edward, please! What's wrong with it? You and Bella are mad at each other, right? When are you going to see that I'm the right person for you?" By that time everyone but Ian was already in the room. I couldn't believe her! Bella was right next to us, I had no idea what Tanya was doing…

"Tanya, please, stop that! I love Bella; I'm never going to be with you! I thought I had made that clear."

"Please, Edward! I can't see what's so special about her! She's not pretty; she spends her days locked up in that study; you don't know a thing about what she's been doing in the past few years; she seems to be surrounded by men who worship the ground she walks on… She's worked for the Volturi, for God's sake! You love ME, Edward! I know you do. We can be really happy together." She grabbed my hair and kissed me. It felt so wrong, so different from when I kissed Bella. She was pulling on my hair too much, and her nails scrapped against my scalp hurting me, and her lips weren't as soft and plum as Bella's; her smell and her taste was completely wrong, and I couldn't seem to get her off me fast enough.

Before I could push her away, she was already being taken off me and thrown across the room by Bella. I expected Bella to leave it at that, but then I noticed the change in her eyes: they were completely black, and her face was utterly devoid of emotion; only her eyes showed her rage… I had never seen this side of Bella.

Tanya had barely gotten up when Bella slapped her twice, grabbed her by her blond hair and held her by the neck, thrusting her against the nearest wall and holding her there. Tanya's feet balanced in the air as she tried to kick Bella and set herself free. "I warned you, I told you not to mess with me, bitch, but you did it anyway, and you chose the worst moment to do it!" Her voice was empty and cold, as if she was a machine.

I saw Bella's hands tightening around Tanya's throat. At first we were all too shocked to do anything, but then Esme, Carmen and Irina started shouting for me to do something. I tried to step closer to Bella, but Ian's hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"Don't, Edward! She's really unstable right now, and she would never forgive herself if something happened to you! Let me deal with this!" I wanted to shove his hand and go to my Bella, but the truth was that I was scared. This Bella seemed to be capable of anything…

"Bella, it's Ian. I'm going to get closer to you, ok?" She didn't react at all. He carefully walked towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder, which only made her grab Tanya's neck with even more fervor. "I've wanted to do what you're doing ever since I got here, but I can't let you do this, Bella. I'd do it for you, but it would all come down to the same result. You'd feel guilty about this for your whole life and so, I can't let you do it."

He placed his other arm around her waist, and I felt jealousy building up within my chest. I tried to focus, telling myself that he was trying to help Bella and Tanya, but I couldn't bring myself to care about Tanya at all. She had brought this to herself. She knew Bella was nervous, and she still provoked her.

Then Ian proceeded to bring his lips to Bella's hear and whisper in his intense voice. "I'm going to get you to the door, and then I want you to run as far and as fast as you can. I'll follow you right after, ok?" Jasper sensed my jealousy and got a hold of me to stop me from ruining everything. I was practically seeing red! Bella was my fiancée, and I hadn't been able to even look at her for more than ten minutes each day, and there he was all wrapped around her.

Suddenly, Ian got a hold of Bella's arms, yanked them from Tanya's neck and ran Bella to the door. As soon as she was out, she started to run, and Tanya lay on the ground where she had been unceremoniously dropped, gasping for air, that she obviously didn't need..

I was ready to go after Bella when Ian stopped me, yet again. "What now?" I asked furiously.

"Stay here, Edward! I've told you she's not well, and you still have issues to solve. She's really unhinged, and she needs time to calm down. I'll come and get you when she's better. Don't worry; I'll take good care of her." And with that he took off after my Bella.

I should be the one running after her! Tanya was going to pay for this! How dare she do this to Bella?

"I don't want to see you again, Tanya. You've done everything you could to ruin my relationship with Bella, but we're stronger than that. I love HER! I could never love you so just GIVE UP!" I screamed. I was so tired of her! I just wanted Bella, my sweet and dear Bella.

Chapter 22

Bella's POV

I must have been way over the border, on the Canadian side. I even considered, for an absurdly small period of time, to head home, but I didn't want to deal with my brothers. Besides, nobody should get close to me until I calmed down… I still couldn't believe I really had attacked Tanya, the worst, though, was that I would have killed her if Ian hadn't interfered. If Edward or any of the Cullens had tried, they would probably have gotten hurt, but Ian knew the best way to get to me and stopped me because at that point I was way beyond lost to everyone.

I just wanted to find a hole and bury myself, so that I didn't have to face any of the Cullens again, including Edward… Especially Edward. I was so ashamed of myself! They weren't supposed to have seen me like that. It was my worst side, an ugly side. It had come up several times while I was with the Volturi, but there, it was easier to deal with it. There, everybody had an ugly side and it wasn't uncommon for it to come up but around my family was completely different.

I had lost it, badly! I couldn't deny Tanya her merit, she had known exactly when and where to push my buttons. I knew she had been just biding her time before she could throw me out of the picture.

I kept walking around in the small clearing I had stopped at, as I waited for Ian. I just couldn't stand still! I was so freaking nervous with everything that was going on that I could no longer focus on anything.

"You're already digging a hole in the ground." Ian stated calmly, as he entered the clearing. He wasn't wearing his cloak, just a green t-shirt and jeans, and he seemed so normal to me. He was calm, his eyes were clear, and if it wasn't for his pale skin and unbeating heart, I'd think he was human.

"I can't believe I did that! I couldn't…"

"Please, Bella! I'm just surprised you didn't do it sooner… Tanya was pushing her luck, and if you ask me, she knew exactly what she was doing… well, maybe she didn't expect you to be so deadly. Her mistake was thinking you were weak. She doesn't know you, so she didn't make a correct judgment which leads me to the reason why we really need to talk."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"You're not dealing with things the right way! What you're doing isn't working. Look at yourself. A while ago you were damn close to killing Tanya and probably hurting someone else in the process. You were completely out of control and that's not normal, that's not what you need right now. Look, you just can't keep doing everything like you did before. We all knew you kept yourself surrounded by work and I don't know how many hobbies to keep you from thinking about Edward and the Cullens, but you don't need that anymore. You have to learn to let go and delegate."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you have two amazing families willing to do anything for you, and you don't let them help you. You insist on running the company on your own and that's putting a strain on your relationship with Edward. Let Esme help you with the projects, I know she's dying to, and let your brothers handle some of the bureaucracy, and leave the more complicated clients to Kurt, he has enough time to put up with their crap and knows how to shut them up when he's tired of them. Also, let Catherine actually do her job, instead of trying to take care of everything. You're driving her crazy! In the past three weeks you practically haven't talked to her and there's stuff she can do, so that you don't have to worry about it."

"How do you know all of that?"

"Because, unlike you, I have paid attention to my surroundings in the last few weeks. I can see how much everybody cares about you and wants to help you, and I can also see the way you're closing in. Nobody in that house wants to hurt you, well except maybe Tanya, but she's easy to deal with. What I want to say is you're not alone, you've never been, but you do have a problem with trusting people."

"I don't! I trust you, I trust my brothers, the Cullens…"

"No, you don't, Bella! Tell me one person who knows absolutely everything that has gone through your mind and your heart since you were changed. You've never opened up completely to anyone because you don't trust people to understand or sympathize with what you've gone through. You're ashamed of yourself, and you don't want other people to be too. You think everyone will see you differently if they know what you've done. But what you don't think about is that they might actually understand your reasons and see you as a stronger person because you went through all of that and are still as selfless and good as before."

"Henry."

"What about Henry?"

"He knows everything. I trust him completely."

"Why him?"

"Because he was there from the beginning; he's just like me and I owe him that much."

"You owe him?"

"He was changed because of me. His life was taken from him because Aro wanted his power to protect me. So, yes, I owe him his life and mine. And he knows everything because I know he understands and can relate. We are in the same boat. And I would appreciate that you didn't share this piece of information."

"Of course not. Still, you are worthy of everything, Bella, and I doubt the Cullens would respect you any less if they knew what you've been through. It takes more energy to keep the walls up than it would to just let them crumble and really enjoy what you, now, have."

"I've lost so much already, Ian. I wouldn't be able to handle it all again."

"You're not going to lose anything. It's in the past!"

"Exactly! If it's in the past, why is everybody trying so hard to dig it up?"

"You have to try to see it from his point of view, Bella. He feels guilty about what happened to you. He wants to know because, in some way, that would mean sharing the burden with you and maybe alleviating some of his guilt. He wants to know you again. He still loves you, but he recognizes that you changed. You want him to treat you differently because you're not a fragile little human anymore, but for that to happen, you need to let him in, let him know you. You have to be honest with him. And your past, as deep as it's buried, is still a part of you."

"When did things got so complicated?"

"When doesn't matter, Bella. What matters is what you are going to do to uncomplicate it! If you can't tell him, be honest and tell him that."

"You're right! I've been too nervous with all that's happening, and everything happens at the same time, and it's all so sudden!"

"You're a mess, Bella. Everyone can see it and knows you're entitled to it, too." He cracked a smile. "You need some vacation, away from everything and everyone. Promise me that after we've dealt with that psycho vamp, you're going on vacation with Edward. Just the two of you, to reconnect." I nodded and accepted his hug. "Now, shall I go get Edward? I promised him I would when you were calmer."

"No. I'll go back to the house. I don't want to worry everyone else. I'll be fine."

"I should also tell you that I called Catherine this morning, and asked her to come to Forks."

"You did?" I asked surprised. "I thought you weren't going to do anything about her."

"She'll be arriving in a few hours, and I'll pick her up from the airport. But I just called her so that she can do her work and help you. I don't want you having any brilliant ideas about us. You needed help, so I called her. After this little episode, I'm really glad I did it."

"Thank you, Ian. You're a really good friend. But I still say that you're making a big mistake when it comes to Catherine. You know, when we go on one of those missions that can end up badly, it really helps to have someone to come back to. And life can be so much better if you have someone by your side. I only bug you about this because I know the two of you would be really happy."

"Enough of this! Let's go back." His voice was calm, but I could see that beneath the surface he was a lot more agitated. If he was absolutely sure about his decision of not pursuing a relationship with Catz, he wouldn't be so bothered by my insistence. I was confident that Catz's presence would change things… we just had to wait to see.

The trip back to the Cullens was uneventful. Both Ian and I were too deep into our thoughts to engage in small talk, and the silence was heavy but not uncomfortable.

I wondered if I should apologize to Tanya… maybe but then that wasn't my priority. First, I had to straighten things out with Edward; after that I'd see.

We slowed down when we were reaching the house, and I sensed my cell phone vibrating in my pocket.

"Bella, it's Ash. The guy has moved!"

"Where? Tell me he's not coming to Washington, I have enough on my plate right now!"

"He's not! He's going back to Italy. It'll be our chance! How soon can you get to Volterra?"

"I don't know how my schedule is, but I'll talk to Catherine soon and see. We have to take care of that as soon as possible. I have a few things to work out now. But I'll call you later with a definite date for my arrival."

"Sure. Talk to you later." Knowing that that vampire was getting back to Italy, made me exhale in relief. It was one less thing for me to worry about, at least for now. I knew that soon I'd be dealing with that problem too.

When we arrived to the house, Ian took my car and went to the Seattle airport to pick up Catherine, leaving me to handle my business. I entered and headed straight to the living room where I knew everyone was.

"Bella!" Emmett exclaimed. "That, before, was some serious quick ass action! It was so cool!" I really didn't want to ignore him, but I wasn't proud of what I'd done, so his comment didn't sit well with me, and I really wanted to speak to Edward. I owed it to both of us.

"Edward, do you think we can talk?" I asked not looking at him in the eye. I really wanted to keep my cool around everyone else.

"Uh, sure." Edward agreed.

"I think you're in trouble, bro. That's the voice Rosalie uses on me when she's going to tell me I won't be getting any for a while."

"Well, Emmett, I seriously doubt that if I say that to you, you'll be as broken hearted." I joked, Edward growled and Emmett laughed. I walked to my study, and Edward followed me; however, after we entered, he simply stood by the door. I hated it. There, in that small room, I felt more distant than ever. What scared me even more was that I had been the one to put that distance between us.

"You can come sit next to me; I won't bite or try to kill you." I laughed humorlessly; I tried to make it sound like a joke, but the truth was that I was terrified of how the Cullens would react to my outburst, especially Edward. He was kneeling next to me in an instant, his eyes wide and his hands grasping mine.

"I would never think that. To clear up the subject, let me just tell you that Tanya got what she asked for." It was… endearing to hear him talk like that. He let go of my hands, sat on the opposite end of the couch that I was sitting on and sighed.

"You look relieved…" I commented.

"I am. After a week of barely being able to see you, I'm incredibly relieved that I'm sitting on the same couch as you."

"Look, Edward, I'm sorry. I did warn you that it wasn't going to be easy. I have to admit that a big part is on me, but it's so hard to deal with everything. You can't possibly comprehend how big of a change this is. Before, I needed to have every minute of my day occupied. I got used to it, and now, as much as I want to, it's hard to let go because I wouldn't be able to just let go of all the responsibilities I accumulated. There are a lot of people depending on me. I know you can understand that, and I also know that isn't the main issue we have to solve…"

"Bella…"

"Let me finish! I want to apologize and tell you that from now on, it'll get better. Ian told me some things that made me rethink some of my actions. Now, about my past… I might have been a bit intolerant when we talked, and if it depended on me, you'd never know anything about what I was up to in the past eighty years, but like Ian said, it's part of me, and if we're going to be together forever, you have a right to know if you wish so. But I won't be telling you. You can ask me anything but not to tell you that. Not right now. Telling you would make me relive everything and, right now, I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it." In an instant I was in his arms, and he was holding me so tight… it was like he was keeping me from falling apart, and in that moment I recognized not only the lover but the friend I had in Edward. We stayed like that for a while. It felt good to have him this close again.

"You can't possibly imagine how hard it was staying away from you all week." He sighed. "I love you so much, Bella." He pulled away just enough, so we could look at each other. "I have to apologize too. I shouldn't have pushed you. You need time and that's understandable. But I wished you had explained to me that you weren't ready to tell me, right away."

"I'm going to Italy in a few days, and I'm hoping you and the rest of the family will accompany me. If it's really important to you, I'll let you ask whoever you want about my time there. You can talk to Aro or a member of my guard. But regarding what worries you the most, they'll all tell you the same thing: that I wasn't with anyone else during the time we were apart. And none of what I went through was your fault… I don't want you feeling guilty about it!"

"I trust you, Bella. If you say you weren't with anyone else, I believe you! And I won't be asking anyone about your past. During this week we were apart I realized that as much as I want to know it won't change the way I look at you, or how much I love you, because I know that no matter what you did, you didn't take pleasure from it. So I'll wait until you're ready to tell me. I just don't want you to carry your burdens alone. You're not alone anymore, and I want to help you. I'm sorry for implying that you might had been with someone else when you had already told me you hadn't, and for saying that you didn't trust this relationship because you wouldn't tell me where your house with your brothers is."

"It's okay, you had the right to be nervous, and maybe I am a bit insecure about our relationship, but every time we are moving on and getting our happy ending something happens. I trust us, I know we can make this work, but there are so many factors we can't control… I can't help but be afraid. I'll try to be more open with you. I know I can't keep things from you in fear that you're not ready to hear them… it's insulting, and we're equals. But I know how you work; you blame yourself for everything even when it's not your fault. So if we can compromise… I'll open up if you don't blame yourself for it." I proposed.

"Deal. Can we seal it with a kiss?" I didn't even answer, instead I let his lips claim mine in a passionate and intense kiss. We broke apart but left our foreheads resting against each other. "I'm sorry I let Tanya get to me. I knew she was trying to break us apart and still fell for her trap. She knew that you were on the edge, and that if I came on too strongly, it'd have its consequences."

"I'm sorry I've been so distant, but I was so angry that you had let Tanya plant the seeds of doubt in your mind… It didn't work out in the end so…"

"You're right, love." He kept holding me but didn't speak anymore.

"Ask." I told him.

"When I got home after our fight, Alice was worried. Ian had said not to disturb you because you were in a dark place…" He trailed off not formulating a question.

"Remember our deal." He nodded, so I continued. "I felt so bad about our argument. I knew I was wrong, at least partly. And it just reminded of all the wrong I've done. I can keep it controlled most of the time. It had only happened once before: after my first mission for the Volturi. I've been strong for all these years, but it hurt so much. Sometimes it was hard to believe that I was good, after all the things I had done, even if it was against my will. We're together now, and we were blowing it the other day, so I wondered if I really deserved to be happy. All of you do your very best to be good, to do the right thing. Even though I can't regret it, I was selfish; I did things I shouldn't have done to keep the people I love safe. And other people, sometimes innocents, had to pay for my choices. It's so complicated! I can't seem to let go of some things… And after our fight, it all came down to it: am I good or bad? Do I deserve to be happy? Will I only hurt those I love?" I was relieved he had let me talk and hadn't stopped me.

"It isn't just our actions that define us, love. The fact that you despise yourself for the bad things that you've done only shows how thoroughly good you are. I don't want you to feel undeserving of happiness because after all you've been trough you are certainly worthy of it. If our lives hadn't been at stake, you'd have never done any of what you did. In the end that is what defines you. And we'll fight sometimes; we'll get angry and say things we don't mean. I don't want you to question yourself every time that happens. Because no matter what I say, the only truth that my heart recognizes is that I love you and that will never change."

"Thank you."

"We'll never judge you for saving us because that is what you did. And now I realized how high the price you've been paying for it is. It's not fair, and I wish I could take it all away. The only thing I can do is love you and make sure you always know how special you are for me." I lay down on the couch, with my head in his lap staring at his face. His gentle fingers stroked my hair before coming to rest against my cheek. Then he traced my jaw and my lips. His touch was so tender, and for the first time that week I didn't feel trapped or pressured. Instead I felt loved and cherished and so very blessed for having him in my life.

"I love you. Do you want to ask anything else?"

"When you used your power on us, what happened to you?"

"It weakened me because I was using it on all of you at the same time. Basically what I did was take your feelings away and feel them myself. So all the guilt, the hurt and the suffering… I felt them for you because it wasn't fair that you had to live with them when it wasn't your fault, when you had made my life so much better just by being in it. It hurt a lot, but I would do it all over again if I had to. It got really bad at times because I would refuse to stop doing it, even though I was reaching my limit. I grew so weak, I couldn't hunt for myself; sometimes the pain was so bad that I had to curl in bed and forget about everything, except the reason why I was doing that. It earned me one or two trips to comatose land too… It was the only thing I could do, and in the end it was all worth it, you know? On those moments when the pain overruled everything, I felt like I was doing the right thing, and it made me feel like a good person. It relieved my conscience, and it made me feel closer to all of you." The tone of my voice had lowered since the beginning of my explanation, and I knew that if I could, I'd be crying, but it also relieved me to be able to get it out.

I took a few moments to look at his face… he was so very handsome. "You know, you're still my angel. Even though I'm not an impressionable human anymore, you're still my incredibly handsome angel." He gave me one of his crooked smiles, and it amazed me how easily we had solved everything… just by talking. I realized that keeping things just to myself wouldn't do any good.

"I'm glad you told me about it, even though I wish you hadn't gone through any of that." I knew he was making an effort not to blame himself.

"It's gone though, and we're not going to do any good by dwelling on the past. Come on, now that we have everything worked out, I need a bath. Catherine will be here soon, and I would like to enjoy a few quiet moments before I have to wrap up my appointments and prepare the trip to Italy."

"Catherine, your PA?"

"Yes, against his 'will', Ian called her and asked her to come down and help me since I was getting overloaded. He went to get her from the airport."

"Ok. Care for some company in your bath?"

"Most definitely, Mr. Cullen. I think we both need to relax."

"That we do, my love, that we do."

After our bath, we headed down to talk to the rest of the family. Edward had thoroughly forbidden me from apologizing to Tanya, stating that she got what she deserved. 'It wasn't by lack of warning!' He had said. Still, I wanted to apologize to everyone else.

After a brief talk with the rest of the family and the Denalis, minus Tanya, in which everybody reassured me that my attack to Tanya was a completely normal reaction, taking into account that Edward and I were mates, and she was the one who overstepped the boundaries. The Denalis took advantage of the meeting to announce their leave, for Kate's great displeasure since she wished to spend more time with me. Even though I was busy all the time, we had managed to become good friends. And I was actually sad to see her leaving too, seeing as she had become one of the very few girl friends I had.

Since the Denalis had left, and Catherine and Ian were still to arrive, I decided to announce my leave to Italy within the following days.

"Since we're all here, I wanted to say that I'll be leaving for Italy in the next few days. I would like it if all of you could accompany me but, obviously, that's entirely up to you." Edward tightened his hold on my waist, which was everything I needed to know that he wasn't going to let me out of his sight any time soon, so he was definitely coming with me.

"Of course we'll go!" Alice answered immediately. "We haven't been to Italy in years. I can't wait to shop a little!" Of course Alice was more interested in the shopping opportunities rather than the fact she was going to be confronted with a part of my life I didn't feel very comfortable about. The thing was I'd rather have them see me interact with the Volturi than let them stay here unprotected. We still didn't know how much that psycho vamp knew about us, or what his plans were.

"I don't see any inconveniences. I just need a precise date, so that I can take some vacation days at the hospital."

"Of course, Carlisle. Catherine and I will look into that tonight, and we'll soon have a date for you."

"Do I hear my name?" Someone called from the door. A minute later Catherine was entering the living room with a very uncomfortable Ian following her.

"Yes, you do. Did something happen during the trip back from the airport?" I asked. They stammered and fidgeted before I got semi-coherent responses.

"Yeah, sure, everything went good."

"Of course. There were absolutely no… problems. I… uh… I'm going hunting."

"We hunted before you left for the airport, Ian." I reminded him.

"Uh… you're right. Then I'm just going to go… call… Henry! That's it, I'm going to call Henry to see how we are about… stuff. I'm going now…" He stuttered before disappearing from the living room. And just like that the calm and composed Ian we all knew became undone.

"Something happened during that trip, and you're going to tell me, Catherine, whether you want it or not!" I laughed, "Ian wouldn't be so bothered if nothing had happened."

"Fine" Catz huffed. "Later, ok?"

"Sure, let me introduce you. Cullens, this is Catherine, my friend and amazing PA. Catherine, these are Esme and Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, and Edward."

"It's nice to finally meet you all in person. I've been hearing about you practically ever since I can remember."

"It's a pleasure to have you in our house, too. Esme has the guest room all ready for you. Maybe you'd like to rest for a while…"

"Thanks, but I've been resting the entire trip, so if you don't mind, I'd just help Bella get the last of her meetings done with. I know that there's at least one person in this room dying for that to happen." She commented looking sideways to Edward.

"Catherine here, is just a well of energy, kind of like someone else I know!" I said.

"Is that person me?" Alice piped in.

"Obviously, Alice."

"Well, you love me anyway…"

"So… let's go?" Catherine asked impatiently.

"Yes, Catz. Let's get this over with. We also need to find a date for our leave to Italy, so that Carlisle can warn the hospital, and ask Aro to send the jet. Esme, would you like to come with us? I need to speak to you about something." I ushered Catherine upstairs, showing her the different rooms in the house until we got to my office, and Esme followed us.

"You have a beautiful house, Esme, and I know what I'm talking about. You can't imagine the amount of projects that have gone through my hands." Catherine complimented.

"That is exactly why I asked Esme to come with us." I started. "Esme, I'd like you to consider joining my company as head of the design team. I am currently accumulating several positions in the company, one of which is head of the design team, and Ian called to my attention the fact that I'd have to start delegating if I was going to invest in my relationship with Edward. So I thought, maybe, you'd like to join us."

"I… I don't even know what to say…"

"Say yes, please."

"Yes, I'd love to!"

"Great! You just have to approve and make the necessary corrections to the projects that the design team sends you, and, whenever you want, be in charge of a project specifically. Basically, the design department is in your hands." I explained.

"Thank you, Bella. I'm really happy to be able to help you." She said hugging me.

"I thank you, Esme, for helping me."

"Okay, this is all very cool, but we have a load of things to do, Bella. We need to get you to Italy as soon as possible, so that you can go on your vacation with Edward when you come back. The two of you most certainly need it."

"Very well, I'll leave you to your business, girls."

"I'll give you more details soon, Esme." I said, as she left my study. Then I turned my attention to Catherine and dragged her to the couch, making her sit in front of me. "Before we get to work, Catz, are you going to tell me what happened during the trip from the airport?" She blushed profusely which only confirmed my suspicions.

"He… he… he kissed me. There, I said it!" She whispered.

"He kissed you?"

"Yes, and it was amazing! But then he got all weird, and there was this super uncomfortable silence during the whole ride." She complained sighing. Ian's indecision was taking a huge tool on Catz and I didn't like seeing her like this.

"Tell me what happened from the beginning."

"I got out of the plane, and he was waiting for me, all pale and beautiful, just standing in the middle of all those people… it was weird, I didn't even had to look for him. For a moment he just stood there looking at me, but then it was like he had been jolted awake, and he grabbed my bags with one hand, placed the other on my waist and guided me out of the airport and to the car. And when he touched me, I felt everything I always feel when he does, there's a tingling sensation where he's touching me, and then I just want to get closer. I feel safe when he's with me. I only feel like this when it's him. Anyway, we entered the car, and he started making small talk: how I was, how was everyone back at home, if I'd had a good flight… and then he stopped the car, and after a few minutes of silence and out of nowhere he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no because I don't, and he was silent again. I was so confused… and he kissed me. It was amazing… he pulled away and looked me in the eyes for what it felt like forever… just to resume the drive shortly afterwards. And he hasn't said one word to me since." Tears streamed down her face, and I felt like calling Ian and making him see what he was doing to her.

"Oh, Catz… he's confused; he doesn't want to keep you from your life…"

"That's bullshit and you know it, Bella. You know what it's like to be in my place, not to be given the choice."

"He doesn't want to give you the choice because he's afraid you'll regret it later."

"I love him, Bella, and he knows it. I've tried to look for it somewhere else, but I only feel complete when it's him. I tried to date other guys, you know, I tried to find happiness with them, but it's never the same. It only feels right when it's him I'm close to. But I can't wait anymore. We've been like this ever since I turned seventeen: always wanting but never taking. Unlike him, I won't live forever, and I don't want to spend my life waiting for something that will never come. I don't want to settle for less than what I felt today when he kissed me, but I will. I know that he loves me; I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me, but his unwillingness to do something about it makes me think that maybe he doesn't love me as much as I think he does. It hurts me, and I don't want to always feel like this. I deserve to share my life with someone; I deserve to have someone take care of me, and if he doesn't want to, then I'll just have to say yes to someone else. I can't keep waiting for him."

"I'm sorry, Catherine, I wish he wasn't so hardheaded."

"I wish he hadn't kissed me today; it was cruel of him to give me hope just to take it away again." I pulled her to my arms.

"I know, I know… We'll find a solution, you'll see. Now let's get your mind off that and get to work."

"Yeah, let's." She went to the computer and started going through my agenda to see when I could leave to Italy. "If we get everything ready tonight, I'll set up all of your meetings for tomorrow morning, and you can leave for Italy in two days."

"Book the plane tickets for me, Ian and the Cullens, please. I'm just going downstairs for a bit to speak to Carlisle."

"Ok." I left her dealing with the plane tickets and before talking to Carlisle went to speak with Edward who was reading on our bed. I knelt next to him, and he put the book down immediately.

"I need you to speak with Ian."

"What? Why?"

"He's hurting Catherine because he's being stupid. I need you to tell him how it was for you. I've tried to get through to him, but I can't, and Catz is a mess. We learned from our mistakes, and they caused us enough suffering; maybe they can learn from our mistakes too, and then make theirs… I can't handle seeing Catherine like this. Please, do this for me?"

"Of course, I'll do it, love. I couldn't help but hear your talk. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way."

"It hurt, but I think it's worse in her case because between us we had the fact that I was your singer; I didn't know vampires existed… but them, their only obstacle is Ian's stubbornness. And today, when he kissed her and didn't say another word to her, it hurt her, and she's right, it was cruel. You never did that to me. You didn't want to give me the choice, but you did because you loved me, and Ian has to do the same, or he'll lose her."

"I'll talk to him; you get back to your work. I can't wait for you to be rid of it… I also heard we were supposed to go on vacation." He flashed me a smile, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"I think your hearing is entirely too sharp today…" I gave him a quick kiss and went back to Catherine.

Edward's POV

Ian was sitting under one of the trees in our backyard, playing with his cell phone. I sat next to him and waited to see if he initiated the talk. When he didn't, I decided to start with something that would definitely give me his attention.

"Catherine is very upset." His head immediately turned to face me. "Bella was talking to her and came to me and asked to talk to you."

"I've heard everything Bella has to say. I've been hearing it for a few years…"

"But you haven't heard what I have to say. You have heard Bella's side, but you haven't heard mine. I made a lot of mistakes, some I regret more than others. The main reason I accepted to do this is because I know how much both you and Catherine are suffering because I've been there with Bella, and I figured you might as well learn from our mistake and save yourselves some pain."

"I'm listening…"

"You and Catherine have so much more in your favor than Bella and I ever did…"

"Is that what this is about? Your situation was worse than mine, so I should feel thankful and stop being an ass?"

"No. My situation was worse than yours, but I'm happy now, despite everything that could have and did go wrong, I'm happy. I have the woman of my life, the one I love above everything else with me and that's more than enough for me because it was all I ever wanted. Bella and I were so complicated… but we made it."

"A few variables…"

"Make all the difference. When I met Bella, she was human; she was my singer, and she had absolutely no idea that vampires existed. I had to struggle to stay away from her, so that I wouldn't kill her, but not even that could keep me away. When I told her I was a vampire… she could have reacted in a million different ways, but she chose the weirdest of all. To her it didn't matter that I was a vampire, she loved me. When the fact that I was immortal and she wasn't became an important factor for her… I almost died again. She wanted me to change her. Even though I didn't actively show it, I was still so very revolted with what I was… I couldn't bear to think of condemning her to the same life I had. She put it up to votes… I was so mad. How dare she address such a vital question with such lightness… or at least I thought it was lightness. But she was just decided. She wanted to spend eternity with me, and for her becoming immortal wasn't damnation, it was the mean that would give her what she wanted. She was so young… I was so afraid she would regret her decision. I fought her too much on her change. I sometimes wonder if I could have prevented her abduction if I had changed her when she asked me to. The thing is Catherine knows what she's getting herself into. She has lived with vampires her entire life, she knows what to expect, and besides, you don't have to change her right away."

"But dating her while she's human…"

"I've done it with Bella for two years and she was my singer. On top of all the normal feelings that come with loving someone I had to deal with the pull of her blood but I managed to do it. And you can do it too. From what I know you've been interacting with the Jones for a long time now; you can do this. You can end her suffering and be happy. I wanted Bella to try to have a normal human relationship because I thought it was the best for her. Catherine has had several of those; still she can't find what she has with you. She's been waiting for you to decide, but she says she's not going to wait anymore. She doesn't want to suffer anymore and you shouldn't want that either."

"I'll have to be careful with every single movement I do because she's so incredibly fragile…"

"Until you get used to it, yes… but there's something that Bella always said that I can recognize as the truth now. Your love for her will stop you from hurting her, no matter how intense are your feelings. You will instinctually protect her from anything that may hurt her, including yourself. You can do it! So please, end your suffering and hers."

"It was nice talking to you, Edward. When you're not hurting Bella, you can be really cool."

"Yeah. Believe me when I say that I take absolutely no pleasure from hurting her, but sometimes we do and say things we don't mean to. Bella and I have been through hell and back several times, but we only seem to come back stronger and more in love… I do have to admit that I'm a bit tired of that though. I really just want to enjoy her for a while with no complications."

"I made her promise to go on vacation with you when we come back from Italy."

"I know… thanks for that, Ian. I'll leave you to mull over what I said. Catherine is a great girl and you're cool too; you deserve to be happy. Listen to your heart; I know from experience that it never lets you down; your brain, on the other hand, can lead you to make the worst mistakes of your life."

"Thanks for the advice and for the insight, Edward."

"As long as you make the correct choice… we're good." I smiled and left him to his thoughts.

Bella's POV

Two days later…

With Catherine's help, I had managed to finally end all the work I had to do. I had also talked to my brothers, especially Kurt, to ask them to be more involved in the company, leaving me with less work. Catherine had drawn Esme's contract, and she had been introduced to the design team.

Since Ian still hadn't made his decision about Catherine, I decided to take her to Italy with us. Obviously my decision didn't sit well with him, and he had come to tell me about the danger she'd be in, given that there were human blood drinking vampires in the Volturi. I told him that she was my friend, and I would never let something happen to her.

*Flashback*

"I just can't understand why in the world you want to take her with us!"

"Because she's suffering, and she needs a change of airs. I already spoke with Alice and Rosalie, and they are going to take her shopping and just get her to relax. She's my friend, and I hate to see her so miserable because of you!"

"God, Bella! You are exasperating!" He yelled before leaving.

*End of flashback*

Aro sent the jet as I had asked and, after a comfortable but quite silent trip, we were landing in Italy; I had asked my guard to leave three cars at the airport, so that we could travel to Volterra.

Catherine and Ian traveled with me and Edward; Esme and Carlisle took another car with Alice and Jasper, and Emmett and Rosalie took the last one. The trip was silent and uncomfortable since Ian was still mad at me, and Catherine was miserable.

When we got closer to the castle, I got suddenly nervous. I was about to face Henry and wasn't looking forward to that not even a little bit…

"What's worrying you, love?" Edward asked before we entered the castle.

"Henry. Our confrontation won't be pretty but, please, don't interfere. I can handle him."

"Bella… I don't like the sound of that!"

"Trust me, okay? I'll be fine." I gave him a little peck and got a few locks of hair away from his eyes before pulling him to the entrance of the Volturi Castle.

"Bella! Wow, you're very well accompanied today… Welcome back! You too, Ian."

"Thanks, Sammie. Anything new? Someone I should be looking out for?" I asked. Sammie was one of the three girlfriends I had in the Volturi and was also Ash's mate. She had beautiful light blond hair and golden eyes that contrasted with Ash's black hair and red eyes. She had been trying to convince him to become vegetarian, but Ash feared that would hurt his reputation as dark and battered soul. They were completely different from each other but made a good match.

"Nothing new… well except for Henry's sour mood, but I guess you already know that. And if you're asking about Jane, yes, she's in the castle and ready to make your life a living hell."

"Yeah… I should have known-" I was rudely interrupted by a feminine childlike voice coming from the end of the hallway.

"Isabella! How nice of you to show up! I was already considering telling Aro that his golden girl was slacking in her job." Yep, this visit wasn't starting very well… I could only imagine what was still to come.

What did you think? I made this chapter extra long to make it up to you since I've been a long time without updating. Thank you for reading.

There's only one chapter left plus the epilogue in this story but I already have a new one in the making, and I'll start posting as soon as this one is finished. It's called Awakened and you can find a summary in my website : www. browneyedcullengirl. webs .com (don't forget to delete the spaces).

Please leave a REVIEW and let me know your opinion. It's very important to me and it doesn't take all that long ;D HUgs