The way you are.
Chapter 7
Felix sighs, when walked to the entrance of the park. How was he going to do this? He was still pissed and shocked, about everything what Ryan told him. What was Marzia thinking? Does she really think that that will help to get him back? She's only making it worse. And why would she say it to Ryan? Why not to him? He sighs again.
"Don't let it get to hard" he mumbled and looked around for the girl.
When he saw Marzia sitting on the bench, he stopped not sure if he should really go to her. Maybe it was a mistake to call her so early after they broke-up. But, he needed to make it clear to her. So he took a breath and walked to her.
"Hey Marzia" he said a little uncomfortable.
Marzia looked up and a smile was showed on her face. She stand up from the bench and bring her arms around his neck. "I know that you would miss me"
"What- Woah!" he pushed her away a little when she tried to kiss him. "Marzia, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like, Felix?" she said still smiling, thinking it was a joke. "I'm going to kiss my boyfriend" she went close again.
"No!" Felix yelled out and pushed her away gently. "Marzia, I came here to talk"
"Well, you know that I don't like talking" she came close to him again and stroke some hair from his face. "I'm more from the action"
Felix sighs. What was he going to do now? He needed her to listen to him, so he could go back to Ryan before he woke up. But if she's not listening to him…
"Marzia, I'm only here to talk to you about us"
"I want you back to, Felix"
'No! Not of us getting back!" he said annoyed. "I mean about that: we have to break up. For real"
Marzia just looked at him. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Felix wanted to break up with her. For real! "W-what are you saying, Felix. What do you mean: 'breaking up for real?"
"Just like I said it, Marzia" Felix answered while he stroke his hair back. "I'm sorry Marzia. But, I don't love you anymore"
Marzia looked at him in shock. She tried to see if he was joking. But she could see he was not. Not this time. "B-but.. Why?" she asked, tears coming in her eyes.
"I" Felix started and let out sigh. He just had to say it. Just say it and it's all over. "I'm starting to fall in love with Ryan"
"Ryan?" the girl said, not believing anything of it. "W-what does he have what I don't have!" slowly her sadness was turning into angry. How dare he to do something like this to her! They were together for a long time. And now he wanted to break up with her for another guy!
"It's not like that he is better than you, Marzia. Or that you are better than him" Felix said fast when he heard the angry starting to come in de the girls voice. "It's just my feeling. I feel more love to him, then to you. I'm sorry"
Marzia shakes her head when she took some steps back. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, while she started, at the man she loves so much, with wide eyes. "No. Pleas Felix. I don't want us to break up! I love you!"
Felix walked to her and wanted to hug her. But Marzia stepped away. "I will always love you, Marzia. But not how we used to be. I love you now as a friend"
"I don't want you to love me as a friend!" she yelled out. "I want you to love me as your girl!"
"I'm sorry, Marzia"
"Felix, please" Marzia started to beg while she grabbed his hand. "Please, think about it"
Felix shook his head and he started to walk back to where he came from. "I'm sorry, Marzia" he said again. "I made up my mind. I want to be with Ryan"
"No, Felix, please!" she begged.
Felix shook his head and turned around. "Please, Marzia. Just, leave us alone and we can be friends"
"NO!" she screamed out. "You can't do this me Felix! You making a huge mistake! And I will show you that!" she turned around and run away while the tears were running down her face.
Felix let out a shaky breath and close his eyes, to hold back the tears. He knew that he had to do this. It was the only right thing to do. Now he needed to go back to Ryan, to make sure he was okay. And maybe, Ryan could make him feel better.
_
'I don't want to get up' Ryan said to himself while he was starting to wake up. He turned around on his side and hugged his blanked tightly. He let out a comfortable sigh and tried to sleep again.
But the noise of the front door, let him open his eyes in wonder. Was that Felix? He told him that he was in living room when he needed him. Maybe he was getting some food. He focused his eyes on the clock. Holly crap! Did he slept the whole day! Jeez, it was time to get up. He sit up and yawned. Hopefully Felix was not mad at him for being lazy.
The door of his room opened and the eyes of the two boys met each other.
Ryan smiled at him. "Hey there Pewds!"
Felix didn't answer, but just stared at him. He was still thinking about the whole thing with Marzia. How could it end it like this? He really tough she would understand it. But it seems like he got another problem now.
Ryan's smile washed away when he saw the worry in the other's eyes. He push the blanket away and stood up to walk to his friend. "You okay?" he asked and put a hand on the Sweden's shoulder.
Felix wanted to say yes. But he was not okay. And how he saw the worry is Ryan's eyes. He broke. A tear rolled down his cheek. Those tears that he tried to hold so badly. But he couldn't deal with it anymore. He let out a sob and buried his face in the other shoulder while he hold him close.
Ryan's eyes widened in shock when he saw the tears and even more when Felix pulled him closer in an embrace. He felt the tears wet his shirt but he doesn't care. He places his hands on the back of Felix's head and on his lower back. "What's wrong, Felix?" he asked in a gentle whisper.
Felix just shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. Not now. Even if he know that he need to explain to Ryan what was going on. But he couldn't do it now. He just let out another sob en tightened his grip around Ryan.
Ryan started to stroke the others hair. "Don't worry about it, Felix. You don't need to tell me now"
"Thank you" Felix whispered back and turned his head so he could pressed his lips against Ryan's neck.
Ryan felt his face heat up when he fell those lips against his neck. He didn't pulled away he only tight his grip. He hate it when Felix was crying. He even hate it when the Sweden doesn't smile. He didn't like this at all. Could it that he had a talk with Marzia? About him? Was he the reason why Felix was crying? He felt a feeling of quilt coming up. He was only making Felix unhappy. He knew that he shouldn't had come to Italy. It was a huge mistake. And now, his best friend lost his girlfriend because he couldn't control his feeling. He was not a good friend. Not one that Felix needed now.
Maybe it was is a better idea if he just left. He could talk to Marzia, ask her that she had to think about it again and make Felix come back to her. Maybe this is the best thing he could do. He could make Felix happy by doing this. But… he would not be happy.
"Ryan?" Felix voice stopped his thoughts and he looked up to meet blue eyes. "You okay?"
"Huh.. Yes I'm okay" Ryan answered quickly. "Are you okay?"
Felix nodded and he smiled. Ryan hard missed a beat when he saw that amazing smile. The smile he loved so much. But his plan came back in his mind. He needed to do it. A hand on his cheek broke him out of his thoughts.
"What are you thinking about?" Felix asked when he saw the lost expression on Ryan's face.
"It's nothing. Just thinking"
"You sure"
"Yeah"
Felix knew that there was something wrong. But Ryan didn't force him to tell what happened, so he did the same. He stroke with his thumb over the other cheek. "Okay I believe you"
Ryan smiled but couldn't stop thinking about his plan. Was he really going to talk to Marzia? Was he really going to make sure that: Felix and Marzia are going back together? Would Felix be more happy if it really happens? He didn't know. He was confused about all that happened. The words that Marzai said to him were still floating in his head. What could he give Felix? Fuck! All those fucked up feelings! What is he going to do?!
Felix frowns when he saw the expression on Ryan's face again. The expression that he was thinking about something, what was annoying him. Could it be him who was annoying him? Him and his problems? No, if it really was him, Ryan would tell him. So the only thing he could do now was: leaning closer to the other and pressed his lips softly against the other lips.
Ryan's face heat up again. But he closed his eyes and started to kiss back. No. No, he is not going to talk to Marzia. He is not going to try to get them together again. He loves Felix and Felix loves him. That's all that matters now. Even if Marzia is angry at him, for stealing her boyfriend. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. Because now, the only thing what was important, was Felix and those soft lips.
If he knew that things would be going from bad to worse, he had took the first flight back home and forget all that happened.