"H-hi."

He fidgets in his seat for a second, looking down and biting his lip.

Finally, he looks up through his lashes, and the blue of his eyes is hypnotising.

"I just want to let you know t-that I have been following you for a while now, and I really admire you. You are very intelligent and so out-going and kind…from what I have seen at least."

Here, he smiles shyly.

"I have actually wanted to reply to your videos many times, but I have never really had the courage to. Until I saw your latest video. It left a very strong impression on me, you see."

His eyes flick away from the camera for a second and he's quiet, as if trying to organize his thoughts, before looking back.

"I have always been quite…awkward," he admits, his cheeks flushing slightly. "And due to this fact, I have always found it difficult to connect with my peers. Needless to say, this led to a lot of teasing in elementary school, and far worse in high school."

Again, he looks away from the camera, casting his gaze down to his lap. He's quite for longer than last time, a more pensive quiet as if he's wondering how much he wants to reveal.

Finally, he seems to brace himself, and looks up again.

His eyes are so very vulnerable, but his voice is strong when next he begins talking.

"Halfway through my freshman year of high school, I began self-harming. In my senior year, it reached the point where even that was not enough to relieve the pain. And when my family discovered my sexual orientation and began ostracizing me for it, I decided it was time to end everything."

There are tears shining in those bright blue eyes now, and he has to take a moment to collect himself.

"Fortunately, my attempt failed."

He tries on a smile.

"After that, my older brother Gabriel, who had left the family years ago of his own volition, took me in. He gave me the love and support my parents should have provided me, and he helped me get better."

The smile becomes more sincere as he talks about his brother.

"What I am trying to say is that learning that you, who I look up to so much, have had such a hard life and still ended up such an amazing person has given me hope that I can still make something of my life.

"So thank you.

"Thank you so much for posting that video."

All Comments

D_Winchester: … [Post]

31 minutes ago
YaoiFangirl66439: What? How could someone hurt such a precious baby like you? Do you want me to "talk" to them for you?

1 hour ago
Michaela Loren: Wow, dude, you've got some serious issues.

3 hours ago
Leanna Stewart: Awwww. That's so terrible! Why do all cute guys have such terrible pasts?

4 hours ago
Amelia Michelson: I know how you feel I used to self-harm too, and it's not a nice feeling at all. I'm glad at least someone in your family isn't a complete dickhead.

Dean sat staring wordlessly at the screen for a moment, not quite sure what he was feeling.

He'd gotten a few responses to his videos before, but none had left him feeling so…like this.

The man onscreen, who looked to be about Dean's age, was just such a mass of contradictions, and it made Dean want to get to know him more.

His stiff posture and his way of speaking made him seem so mature, but at the same time, his expressive eyes and his body language made him look so impossibly naïve, so young.

And there was just something about his openness that made Dean want to share things with him that no one outside his family knew.

So he sat there thinking, trying to figure out how to reply.

Because he had to reply.

A video like that deserved at least a response.

But before Dean could even begin to think of what he would say, there was a knock on his open bedroom door, and he looked up to see his grandfather standing there.

Smiling up at the older man, Dean asked, "What's up, Henry?"

"Time to go to sleep, Dean."

Raising an eyebrow, Dean straightened up in his seat and said, "Dude. I'm twenty-three already. I'll go to sleep whenever I want to."

Rolling his eyes at his childish ward, Henry Winchester crossed his arms and stared hard into bright green eyes.

"It's past midnight and you have to get in to work early tomorrow. It's time to go to sleep, Dean."

And faced with his grandfather's iron will, Dean found himself immediately backing down because yeah, he may be an adult now, but there would forever be a part of him that would be the slightest bit intimidated by his father figure.

Immediately standing up and stretching the stiffness out of his limbs, Dean safely shut down his computer, saying, "Fine, fine, whatever you say, you old coot."

Henry let out a slight huff at being called an old coot before stepping forward to place a kiss on top of his grandson's dirty blond locks.

"Goodnight Dean," he said. "I love you."

And Dean grumbled and rolled his eyes and acted annoyed, because he would never except under pain of death admit that every gesture of affection from his grandparents still filled him with warmth and awe.

His friends would never let him live it down.

But for the eight years after his mom had died during which his father had raised him, he'd been thoroughly starved of affection, had been told that cuddling and kisses and hugging were for girls and that a man had to be strong.

Then in came his grandfather, turning all those beliefs on their head by being the strongest person Dean had ever seen and still telling Dean that it was okay to have feelings.

And so Dean turned away from his grandfather and headed to his bathroom, but not before uttering a quiet, slightly embarrassed, "Love you too, gramps."

There was a chuckle from behind him before the door closed, and Dean continued on his way to his bathroom.

About ten minutes later, he was in his bed, snuggled under his blankets, and once again trying to think of a way to reply to AngelOfThursday's video.

The next day was rather hectic for Dean.

He woke up extremely tired, and spent all of breakfast ignoring his grandmother's disapproving stare and tuning out her scolding him about getting to sleep earlier.

By the time he left the house, he was nearly late to work, and had to break quite a few speed limits to reach work on time.

Bobby, the wonderful old grump that he was, took one look at Dean shooed him into the employees' break room to get himself a cup of coffee because, "there ain't no way I'm letting you work on an engine when you're dead on your feet, ya idjit."

By the time Dean exited the break room about five minutes later with a half empty mug of coffee in his hands, he was significantly more awake and ready to face a day at Singer Auto.

It wasn't an especially busy day that day, but nonetheless, by the time he clocked out, Dean Winchester was just about dead on his feet, and looking forward to getting home and just collapsing into bed.

Checking his cell phone as he made his way to his baby, Dean couldn't help the smile that crossed his face when he saw he had a new text from Charlie.

Charlie BroBury
Dude, dude, dude. Why the hell haven't you replied to AngelOfThursday yet? The dude's hot and you need to hurry up claim him before somebody else taps that.

Rolling his eyes and snorting with amusement, Dean replied.

So what if the dude's hot? I'm not going to flirt with some guy who probably lives like a million miles away. Sounds too much like some kinda soap. No thanks.

Putting his phone away, Dean unlocked his car door and got in. He was about ready to head off when his phone pinged to let him know he had another text. Rolling his eyes, he opened it to see Charlie's reply.

So, what, you're just going to ignore the guy?

Of course not. He just spilled his life secrets for the whole world to see. Least I could do is give the guy a reply.

But you're not going to flirt with him.

No.

Booooring.

Letting out an un-amused snort, Dean didn't even bother replying to that, instead turning the key in the ignition and starting the drive home.

By the time he'd arrived home, he had at least a rudimentary idea of what he'd say in his reply to AngelOfThursday.

But first, he needed some food.

Searching the fridge for something to eat, he pulled out some spaghetti left over from last night's dinner and decided to heat that up.

After quickly scarfing down the meal in the kitchen (his grandmother forbade bringing any food other than snacks to his bedroom), Dean headed to his bathroom for a quick shower before he started the video.

And when he finally sat down, hair sill dripping water onto his shirt, ready to get started on his reply to AngelOfThursday, he found he couldn't think of a single thing to say.

Dean sat there for all of ten minutes, just staring at the camera before finally coming up with a brilliant way to start his video.

"Hey!"