A/N: Two chapters in three days. I'm on a roll, but the end is nigh. Just a few more chapters to go and Monster World will be over. And, I have no idea where all the angst in this chapter came from.

Edit: Hopefully this should make the speaker of last line clearer.

Chapter 14 – The Winter Of Discontent

Part 2: Remembrance

Raphael followed his brother through the narrow halls. He winced slightly to himself each time he heard the slight metallic clink of his artificial leg on the cement floor. His mind raced back to that night – he was so close to Donatello's position and could have been there in half the time. The only problem he had? The feeling of shame inside him. And that strange voice that sounded oddly familiar…

Flashback

He wasn't one to pay attention to any warning signs, but he knew he had to be here. The only problem was the location. He shut off the engine, dismounted and looked around warily. Hordes of Cyclops had been spotted in the area and it was too damn close to the breeding grounds of the Chimeras. Damn things were extremely hard to kill. He had lost one of his sai in an extremely risky move that left him with a large gash in his side and a slight dent in his shell. He had made another crude one, but weapon making was Leo's forte, not his. He'd probably have to find another forge and try to refine it slightly. The only problem with that idea was the lizards that lived around most places of heat…and the question of why those huge furnaces were on in the first place. He tried not to think about the last one too much – it made his brain hurt.

If he was still with his brothers, Mikey would have said something about him needing a brain first. He closed his eyes and squeezed out the tears he knew were coming out. The all too familiar ache of longing and sadness pulsed through his body and it was all he could do not to start crying then and there. Everyone blamed him and they had a right to; he had given into his berserker tendencies at the worst moment and the world was paying the price for it. If he could go back to that moment, he would have gladly turned the blade on his own throat. That way, the world would still be saved and his brother would still have been alive.

And what about you, Raph?

His head jerked up. No one around him, but he had heard that voice. A voice that sounded like…Leo. It couldn't be, but he had heard it as plain as day. He sighed again and gently leaned against his bike. It didn't matter anyway. He knew his brother was disappointed in him up…wherever he was. He had lost control and been publicly named and shamed. All right, so the public thing had been his idea in the first place but it would have been better if he was the one to have died. After all, he was the expendable one…

Really? Or are you saying that to reassure yourself?

No…it wasn't possible. No way in Hell could that voice be ringing in his ears. His eyes searched around him, frantically searching for something that would make it seem like a prank. A somewhat sick and twisted joke played on him by his little brother…but his little bro didn't know where he was going. No one did and if they knew, they'd come after him with hatred and vengeance.

Maybe that's what you think.

He squeezed his eyes shut and growled. Dimly, he was aware of a pair of Cyclops moving around – searching for something. Out of all the nights for him to be hearing things tonight wasn't a good night. He took in a deep breath and resolved to not hear anything until the time was right.

End Flashback

He didn't know if it was his conscience or overactive imagination that night, but it had resulted in him saving his brother. He looked over his shoulder to see if the – his family were following. They were, but at a distance. Something about brotherly bonding or talking. After all, he did save his life that night. Raph tensed his shoulders and addressed his brother.

"Don, remember when you were attacked the night when you lost your leg? What do you remember of it?"

Don glanced back at his brother and answered, his voice weary and quiet.

"Nothing much. Pain, fear and chaos. I remember saying stuff, but I don't really remember what it was. If it's any consolation, I meant everything I said. Um, unless it was bad. Anyway, we're here."

Donatello keyed a series of numbers into a keypad and stepped back as a tunnel appeared in the brickwork. He stepped through the portal while Raph hung back. He smirked and sighed in contentment. No, the words hadn't been bad but he had never known if they were real or not. Now that he knew, he was…happy.

Flashback

He kept a close arm around his brother as he sped through the streets, starling survivors and monsters alike. His brother looked dangerously pale and the makeshift tourniquet wouldn't last long. Not to mention his crying out for the eldest brother. He almost slammed on the brakes as he heard another shout from behind him.

"Raph! Come back! I'm sorry! You're still my brother and I still love you! Don't leave…don't leave me here."

End Flashback