Category: Sam and Jack romance/angst, Team/family angst
Spoilers: Direct for 6.22 Full Circle
Content Warnings: Technically a character death, canon though.
Summary: Jack's informed that Anubis is heading to Abydos, intent on destroying it.
Notes: Okay, so how do I get around the fact that in the MT reality, Daniel never ascended?
Episode – 6.22 Full Circle
"So, wait a second, you have two children by different women and you're not with either of them?"
Jack ruefully smiled, knowing that it was not something to find funny, but the way Karen said it made him want to laugh out loud at his own sad, sorry life. "Yep." He took a sip of his coffee and watched as she shook her head.
"You're a right old Ross Geller, aren't you?"
"I didn't marry either of them."
"And that makes it all better?" She laughed slightly and then leaned back in her own chair. They were in a local coffee shop, a different location to their usual meet up in the park with their respective children. This time, both of them were child-free and so had picked a different venue, after all two adults chatting on a park bench may have looked odd. "But you get on with both exes? That's quite an achievement. My ex barely stops the car when he drops our son off on a Sunday."
"I live with one of them, so we have to get on."
"The other?"
"We didn't get on, but things changed recently and we all seem to be doing okay." Jack could still barely believe that it had been a near death situation for his son JJ that brought Laira and Sam closer. He never thought those two women would ever be able to sit down and have a civilised conversation, let alone eat dinner at the same table, which had happened prior to Laira and JJ returning to another planet. "I don't get to see my son much, though."
"It's good that you get on so well with Daniella's mother. There's no way I could live with my ex."
"Our relationship is… unique."
"Get real, Jack. It's more than just unique!" After first meeting Karen in the park, Jack had questioned whether or not to get into contact with her. He had been worried how it would look and if it would lead to what Sam had feared – that either of them could meet someone and start a romantic relationship. Ignoring those doubts, Jack had, for one of the first times in his life, needed to speak to someone. He had needed a friend outside of his usual circles. Karen was the only person, other than Sam, that knew about the drunken Christmas kiss. "You kissed her at Christmas and you seem to be the best of friends. I may not have known you long, Jack, but I know you're lying when you say you're just friends and colleagues."
"And there I was thinking I was good at hiding my emotions."
"Maybe usually you are, but not when it comes to her. Especially as over the past couple of months, I've heard about your two children, but only one mother. The way you speak about the two of them is completely different."
"My son's mother did go a bit psycho at one stage," he defended. Before the meal at his house, Laira had explained her actions to him and apologised, also informing him that she had apologised to Sam. It took a great deal of courage to admit to your own flaws and Jack had to admire it in Laira. She said that she was over her pettier side and that she was not about to try and control situations as tightly as she had done when he attempted to live with her and JJ.
"Don't deflect, Jack. What's really stopping you getting it on with Sam?" It scared him that this woman could see through him on emotional matters; no one was supposed to be able to see through his emotions. Rather sneakily, Jack had run a few checks on his friend, just to make sure that she was who she said she was. Jack would never put it past Kinsey or the NID to send some woman in to pretend to be his friend and garner secret information on his relationship, or lack thereof, with Sam. Karen had checked out completely, not that it meant anything with regards to Jack's job, but it did mean he could be slightly more open with her than any of his other friends when it came to his home situation. "And don't tell me it's just your job stopping you. No office politics would stop you getting it on with the mother of your child, who you just so happen to live with."
"Mine would. Trust me." He started fidgeting with his cup. "And anyway, how am I supposed to know a relationship would even work? I'm not prepared to lose my daughter or my friend."
"What do you think's going to happen when the next kiss becomes something a whole lot more intimate?"
Before Jack could answer, his cell phone started ringing. "Excuse me," he apologised to Karen and answered his cell. "O'Neill."
"Colonel," Sam's voice said, "sorry to interrupt your day off."
"That's okay." Jack could only assume that it was not related to Daniella as Sam would have started the conversation entirely differently. "What can I do for you?"
"We've had a message from Skaara. You need to get here, sir." Jack's face fell; he had not spoken to the young man in years and concern filled him.
"Jack, is everything alright?" Karen asked him, placing a hand on his arm. He nodded mutely and then spoke into the cell.
"I'll be right there."
"Yes, sir," Sam answered with hesitation in her voice and it was clear to Jack that it was her that disconnected their call. There was no doubt that Sam had heard another woman's voice.
SG – SG – SG
Sitting in her lab, Sam was successfully away from the hustle and bustle of everything else within the base and she was enjoying the peace and quiet. Not that she was doing any productive work whatsoever. If anything, Sam's day would end up being described as a complete waste of time. Her mind was not on the job at all.
Earlier that day, SG-1 had shipped out to Abydos with the threat of Anubis heading there to search for the Eye of Ra. Skaara had not been able to explain from where he had received his intelligence, just that his people needed SG-1's help. She figured that it was more Daniel's help because, if the Eye was in a truly hidden chamber, it would be Daniel who would be able to find it. Completely understanding the General's reasons for sending Carpenter on the mission instead of Sam, it did not change the fact that part of Sam wished that she was on the mission.
She believed part of her desire was because she feared that something important was going to happen on the mission. It was deep within the pit of her stomach and it made her feel nauseous. She was afraid of something, and it was something bad. There was also the fact that being on a mission would help clear her mind of the thoughts that were plaguing her. Laira and JJ had returned home almost a week ago and Sam could not deny that she noted a marked difference in Jack ever since. He was happier, more at peace and she liked seeing that side of him, especially at home. What would not leave her mind was the woman's voice she had heard on the telephone when she had rung Jack the day before.
It had been his day off and, as Sam was not his keeper, she had not known how he was spending his day. However, when she had rung him to tell him that Skaara had made contact regarding Anubis' threats, Sam had heard a female speak to Jack. She had not pried. She had not questioned him. Nothing changed the fact that Sam was still curious about who the woman was. It had been a trivial fear at the back of her mind for months, that one of them could potentially meet someone new and start a relationship and the thought that it might have already happened scared Sam. She had no idea what she would do if she were to become a single mother again.
Worse than that, Sam had no idea what Daniella would do without her father around so much if he moved on into a new relationship.
Shaking her head at her own childishness, Sam tried telling herself that she was making one huge mountain out of the tiniest mole-hill, but it did little to shake the bad feeling settled in deep in the pit of her stomach. Sam desperately needed something to shake the constantly repeating thoughts out of her head.
"Knock knock!" Sam looked up at the cheery voice to see the equally cheery face of Janet in the doorway. "Thought you might like to take a break for lunch." Approaching Sam's desk slightly, Janet then paused. "Although by the looks of things you haven't exactly done enough work to warrant a break."
"Things on my mind."
"Anything I can help with?" Sighing deeply, Sam considered her friend, but remained silent. "A problem shared is a problem halved."
The main problem was the fact that Janet seemed to always read things into what Sam said. Whenever Sam tried turning to her best friend with regards to problems or issues at home, Janet's first jump was to accuse Sam of being in love with Jack. Then when Sam would complain at Janet's response, telling her that it was complicated, Janet would respond with that it was her own fault and that neither Sam nor Jack helped to un-complicate matters. "It's nothing," Sam finally answered.
In what seemed like one swift motion, Janet closed the door and then returned to near Sam's desk. "Things haven't been easy, I know that. I haven't always been the most helpful friend in the world, I'm sorry." Sam looked at her, instantly seeing the deep shame in Janet's eyes. "You have to see it from my point of view, you're my best friend and he's… mainly he's a fellow military officer. Any friendship that I have with him was borne primarily out of my connection to you and Daniel, and now because you're in this family unit with him. I worry about you and I worry that one day you're going to share your problems about him with me and I'm going to say the wrong thing."
"Like what?"
"It doesn't matter. I just… I am your friend in all of this and I will always be on your side. I can't be brought into any domestic issues. I'm a military officer, just like you, and I am a medical practitioner, so I already walk a lot of thin lines."
It then dawned on Sam that, just as it had been difficult building boundaries and creating rules for her work and home lives, she and Jack had forced a lot of other people to do the same. She had only ever seen the issues for Jack, Daniella and herself with regards to problems between the three of them. It had never occurred to Sam that if something went disastrously wrong at home, Janet would still be indirectly under Jack's command and still be his main physician. "I never thought about it that way, Janet, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Really. I want to be your friend through everything, but you have to understand, I don't agree with certain things that you've done, certain decisions you've made. I won't let it affect us, but we need a line, too." Janet paused before smiling at Sam, as if the line had just been drawn. "How about some lunch?"
Sam forced herself to smile at her friend and got to her feet. Feeling quite alone, Sam tried to think if there was anyone outside of work that she could call a friend and her mind came up blank. She found herself asking herself the same question that had plagued her for months after Daniella was born: how terrible a mistake had it been to ever sleep with Colonel Jack O'Neill?
SG – SG – SG
Approaching the wormhole's event horizon, Jack paused and looked backwards. There was an odd noise above him and all around him, plus a distinctly odd looking electrical discharge randomly rushing around the interior of the pyramid. He had no idea how they had really escaped from their boxed in corner of the secret chamber of the catacombs, but he knew now that Abydos was not about to be saved by Anubis.
Jack was suddenly very grateful that Skaara was already dead.
Or had he truly ascended?
Confusion continued building within him as Jack found himself unable to move, watching the build-up all around him. The mission had seemed to be going to plan. It had not taken long for Daniel and Carpenter to locate the Eye, and apparently some incredibly important tablet with information on the Ancients and a Lost City, but then the Jaffa had boxed them in, killing every other Abydonian on their way except for Skaara who Teal'c had helped to bring down to the chamber. It was Skaara, on his death bed, who had told Jack to hand over the Eye, that Abyydos and SG-1 would be spared if they did.
His final thoughts had been half confirmed; SG-1 had been allowed to leave without further incident. Jack could feel the build-up of power all around him and he knew that Abydos was not going to be spared.
Not wanting to hold off any longer, Jack stepped through the Stargate and immediately on the other side he shouted, "Close the iris!"
"Jack?" Daniel questioned from the foot of the Stargate.
The wormhole disengaged and Jack barrelled straight past Daniel. "I don't think Anubis held up his end of the deal." Glancing up, he noted that Sam was in the control room, thankfully. As he entered the control room, registering that the rest of SG-1 were following him, Jack said, "Carter, check the 'gate. Anything unusual?"
There was a moment's pause, as she studied the data. "Actually, yes, sir. A huge blast of energy followed you through. If you hadn't have ordered to close the iris…"
"Dial Abydos."
"Sir," she agreed, starting the dialling procedure. It was the technician that spoke next, after agonising moments of watching the Stargate spin.
"Chevron seven will not lock."
"Damnit!" Jack cursed and stormed from the room. He needed to be alone. More than anything, Jack needed to destroy something. Heading straight for his on-base quarters, Jack slammed the door shut behind him and studied his room. He wanted to upturn the bed. He wanted to fling the wardrobe to the floor. He wanted to smash the lamp against the wall. He wanted to shatter the painting that hung at an angle against the floor. He wanted to punch a hole through every wall, the door, the floor and the ceiling. Still raging, Jack heard a quiet knock on the door, but he ignored it. Even if it were General Hammond, Jack was still likely to punch him.
"Colonel?" It was Sam's voice.
"Go away, Carter!" he growled. He just wanted to be left alone. Skaara was dead. Abydos had been destroyed. He had witnessed so many young boys lose their lives to staff weapon blasts and then seen just a pile of clothes remaining. Jack had no explanation for it. Somehow, the bodies of everyone who had died had disappeared. Including Skaara. Jack had no idea what it meant and if they had all truly ascended, but it was all irrelevant because he had still been at his friend's side when he had died. It had all been for nothing. Skaara had asked them to find the Eye to stop Anubis and then, when they were all backed into a corner, it had been Skaara who told them to hand over the Eye. All the time, Daniel and Carpenter had been muttering enthusiastically about some tablet they had found, something about the Ancients and Ascended beings. Jack had not cared, he still did not care, Skaara was dead and it was all pointless.
He could not believe that a young man, so full of life and innocence, had been ripped from the world when he had his life ahead of him. Skaara had been planning to get married, he had been excited about meeting Daniella for the first time. None of that would happen now. Slumping against the cool wall, all the fight left Jack and he sank to the floor.
"Colonel?" The voice was louder and Jack glanced to the side to see Sam's head poking in through the now open door. He considered shouting at her again. He considered yelling at her to go away and never come back. Jack no longer had the energy to do anything. She took his silence as a welcome and came into the room fully, closing the door behind her. Without invitation, she sat down next to him on the floor, keeping a gap in-between them. Jack often wondered if he scared Sam. "I'm sorry, Jack," she whispered, "Daniel told me about Skaara."
Leaning his head backwards, looking up at the ceiling, he said, "He was getting married. He asked me to Shakalaki or something with him. Said it was to stand beside him. I never even met her. They never had the chance to get married, have kids, anything. I asked him to fight against their Gods, to rescue them and what was it all for? Nothing."
"Don't say that, Jack. That isn't fair."
"Isn't it?" he demanded, looking at her angrily. She did not back down. She did not shy away from his anger. Instead, Sam sat there staring back at him, waiting for his next move. Jack admired Sam's courage. "I stumbled onto their planet. I killed Ra. I encouraged them to fight against Apophis. It was because of me that Skaara was taken, forced against his will… Invaded." Flashes of Kanan, Ba'al and then the human form Replicators zoomed through his mind. "He still kept fighting. And then I let Anubis destroy his entire damn planet."
"You said it yourself, Jack, *he* still kept fighting. You only helped him become the adult he was, an adult who fought for his people, who stood up for what he believed in and helped others. You helped shape him into someone who didn't let his problems and his past shade his life because he found love. How can that all be for nothing?"
"If you dare say that's he's in a better place now," Jack threatened, with the hint of a smile in his voice.
"I'm sorry."
"He was still just a kid." Moving forward slightly, Jack leant his forehead against his lower arms and a few moments later he felt a hand on his shoulder which gently coaxed him over to one side. Letting his eyes close, Jack also allowed himself to relax against Sam as she sat there simply holding him.
SG – SG – SG
Opening his eyes slowly, Jack found himself blinded by the brightness. It was then that he realised he was standing up, his feet standing on almost burning hot sand. He looked down and then back up, noting that he was dressed casually in cream trousers and a dark brown shirt, and considered if he was on Abydos. It was obvious even to him that he was dreaming.
"Hey?" he shouted out, hearing an impossible returning echo. Jack could never decide if he preferred the creepy dreams which scared him to Hell, or the weird ones where he at least recognised that he was dreaming. Taking a step, Jack decided to be proactive in this dream and search out whatever was happening. Perhaps the sooner he figured it out, the sooner he would wake up. His foot hit something odd, un-sand like and Jack bent down to look at what was there. It looked like human hair, but it was surrounded too much by sand.
Very carefully, Jack began dusting the sand off of the object and he soon realised that it was a head. Spurring him on, Jack worked harder at uncovering the scalp and then face of the buried person until he realised that it was Ba'al. Jack jumped backwards slightly in shock, but managed to not fall over. Peering closer towards the motionless figure, something to his left caught Jack's eye and he started carefully digging again. It was not deeply buried, but only the tip of the Goa'uld larvae could be seen until Jack finished uncovering it. Then he heard a noise that sounded like sand falling through an egg-timer.
"Hello, O'Neill." Jack turned in the direction of the familiar voice and egg-timer to see Skaara standing nearby with a handful of Replicator pieces slowly falling onto the sand. "This is almost a dream."
"I never asked."
"But you wondered."
In my mind, Jack thought and Skaara smiled in response. "So you can read my thoughts?"
Shaking his head as an adult in the know does to a child. "No, O'Neill, I am almost in your mind."
"Like how this is almost a dream?"
"Yes." There was silence for a moment. "I am real, O'Neill."
"Good to know." There was a long pause, until Jack spoke again, "You died."
"I did. Do not be sad, O'Neill, this is just the beginning of my journey." An alarm went off in Jack's mind and he wondered, for a moment, if it was a distant alarm clock attempting to awaken him. "I have been allowed to visit with you, but I cannot remain for long."
"Huh? Allowed? By who?"
"My sister's child, Shifu."
Words flashed into Jack's mind: Shifu. Harcesis. Oma Desala. Ascension. And then he realised that it was true. "You're ascended?"
Smiling, Skaara nodded. "My entire people. It was Shifu who told me to give up the Eye to Anubis. He believed that Anubis would save the planet."
"He didn't."
"He did not, but Shifu rescued my people. His people."
"So really you're a big glowing ball of light?"
"O'Neill, I do not have much longer. In the hidden chamber Daniel uncovered a tablet."
"He's been mumbling something about Lost Cities and the Ancients being the Ascended guys."
"It is true. Oma and the others are who you name the Ancients and there is in fact a Lost City of the Ancients. You need to be the one to find it, O'Neill."
"Okay, clue me in on where it is."
"I cannot interfere, but I can…" Skaara stepped forward and placed his hand gently on Jack's forehead. It was warm and the warmth spread through his entire body. Jack watched as a calmness fell over him and the sand swallowed up the Replicator pieces, Ba'al and dead Goa'uld. Skaara removed his hand and smiled, "Take away some of your pain. Live well, O'Neill."
"Dada?" Jack sat bolt upright in his own bed and looked down at Daniela who had somehow managed to climb up onto him. He never slept deeply enough to allow her that far into the room.
"I'm here. I'm awake." Daniella smiled at him, her cute four teeth showing. Scooping her up into a cuddle, Jack squeezed her as tight as he felt comfortable, trying to share in some of her innocence. He was not sure if he had been dreaming, but Jack had to admit that he did feel calmer. Jack was happy to believe that Skaara was safe, that he had ascended and that none of the Abydonian's journeys were yet over.
The End. Next Chapter – 7.01
This was one of the episodes (along with the next two) that I had the greatest apprehension over getting to. I mean, how was I supposed to deal with an episode where AscendedDaniel rescues Abydos and propels the plot along? Thankfully there is Shifu who I don't believe would allow his Uncle and Grandfather (along with the rest of Sha're's people) to just simply die despite the rules. I still have a few problematic episodes to deal with though…