My laptop has died, and I won't be getting it back for two - three weeks, so this is a filler chapter, kinda.
My hopes were obviously wasted. Travis was a big hit. As soon as we walked into the stupid metal doors of this stupid high school all girls' jaws dropped, and all boys' fists were clentched. Why why WHY did people have to see Travis as the beautiful boy I saw him as? Not only was he a star attraction today, but so was I. People noticed my attire, which I didn't think they would. They noticed I didn't look how I did the day before, or the day before. I don't even think it was a good thing, nessesarily, or a bad thing. Though more guys stared at me as I walked by, socking eachother jokingly in the arms. I'm not going to lie, it felt good. It felt good that someone finally noticed what I was wearing, and didn't make snide emo comments about it, or insult me. Not that I planned on dressing like this often, but still, it was nice knowing that so many people that I didn't know approved of it, and didn't think I was such a fucking freak that they all thought I was in the first place.
I was walking alone, classes started and I was late to mine, because I left my biology textbook in my locker. I wasn't really in a rush to get back to class, anyways. I didn't see the point of starting school so early, and for such a long period during the day. It was boring, and most students didn't bother showing up anyways. I was humming a popsong I couldn't quite remember the name to I heard Alex listening to loudly in the morning, and mentally slapped myself for it. I noticed Mike standing at the end of the hall, grinning from ear to ear. Looking at me. Not even looking, but staring at me. What the fuck was this kids' problem? I said under my breath to myself.
"Hey babbbbbbbbbbbbbby." He said as he started towards me. Baby? Fuck no. No one called me baby unless we were friends, and Mike and I, we were definetly not friends. Never. I would never be his friend, even if he was the last boy on earth and we needed to repopulate the earth. NEVER.
"Don't ever call me baby, asshole." I said with a gritted teeth, clenching my hand into a fist. He laughed, but not a "ha ha you're so funny" laugh, but a "ha ha you'll be lucky if you're alive after this" laugh. I didn't get it. He wasn't going to hurt me, was he? He was just going to make fun of me, and calling me names.. right? I wouldn't be physically injured, and I'd be fine.. right? My palms began to sweat. What was happening?
"Now now, Bella, what's wrong? Don't you want to give Mikey a kiss?" He said, almost standing directly infront of me, being about two meters away from me. I began to back up. I've never really been scared before, well, atleast not in my teenage years. But when people looked like they were about to really hurt you, you tended to get atleast a little bit nervous.
"Get.. get away from me, Mike." I said, with my arms shaking. He let out a deep laugh and closed the distance that was previously between us. He grabbed my head and pulled it foreward, making me kiss him. I struggled but couldn't pull away, I was crying, and I couldn't move. I heard a noise behind me, but didn't hear what it was, apparently he didn't hear it to begin with, or I'm sure he would have let go of my by now, which he wasn't.
I mustered up all the strength I had and kicked him. Right where it hurt. He fell over in the fetal position in pain, swearing and cursing me, trying to make me feel bad. I was still crying and turned to run around, but ran straight into someone. Someone warm. Someone familiar. Someone asking me if I was okay. I looked up to see that it was Travis. I looked up at him with wide eyes, as he continued to ask if I was okay, asking if he hurt me. I turned around and bolted. I hated sympathy. Even if he was beautiful. I hated the way he looked at me, like I was a helpless little girl who couldn't help myself, who wasn't really good at anything. Just the way his eyes look confused me. They were clouded over, but they were bright. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and that scared me. Was he going to hurt me to? I shook the thoughts from my head and ran into the bathroom. I just wanted to be alone, but I couldn't skip the rest of the day.. my parents were home, now, and the last thing I needed was for them to start yelling at me for not being in school.
When I got to the washroom I took a couple peices of hand towel and held them under water for a little bit, then rubbing my face clean of all my smeared makeup. I looked at myself long and hard. I looked like a tired little girl, who was vulnerable to anything and everyone, but that no one really wanted. I closed my eyes, willing the tears to not escape my eyes. I thought of a memory. It was the reason I was so angry; it happened so long ago, my parents probably completely forgot about it, they probably don't even remember who it was or what it happened. Though I know that's a lie, they knew exactly who it was. It was my uncle, they'll never forgive me for his suicide, though it really wasn't my fault.
I was seven. I was staying and my aunt and uncles house while my parents were on a business trip in Europe. Alex and I were friends; closer than ever, with us being twins and all. We both had matching pigtails, and it was bright and sunny out, no school, because it was summer.
Alex and I were waiting on the corner of the street for the icecream man to come, and when he finally did we squealed in delight and ate up the icecream as fast as we co uld, then ran inside to put bathing suits on to hop in the pool.
"Bella, why don't you come with me for a second? I want to show you something" My uncle Raymond said to me with a smile. I nodded enthusastically; Uncle Raymond was my favourite uncle, always giving me special attention and candy, always giving me tons of hugs and kisses.
"Where are we going, Uncle Raymond?" I pictured myself saying, as I followed him into the depths of the basement. It was a clean basement, with cream painted walls, and a cream carpet. There was a bathroom as soon as you hit the bottom of the stairs. When you turned left, you saw the laundry room, then it opened up into a wide area. With a long, thin couch, and a matching love seat. A flat screen LED tv directly opposite, and a solid oak coffee table with bits of green plant like stuff all over it.
"I just want to talk to you alone for a bit, Bella, that's all. Is that okay? I want to show you something. I want make you feel good." I looked at him with wide eyes, I didn't understand what he meant. How could I? I was only seven.
"What do you mean, Uncle Raymond? Did you buy me a new toy?" I said, jumping up and down on the balls of my heels.
With that, he pulled me close to him, ripped off my too-loose shorts, my pink winnie the pooh underwear, and ripping his own clothes off. He covered my mouth so I couldn't make any noise. But I began screaming. I bawled, and screamed, and kicked. But I couldn't get him to stop.. I just couldn't, I wasn't strong enough and Aunty Pippa and Alex were outside.
My memory flashed out as I began crying even harder. Aunty Pippa came in and saw, then called the police. Raymond was taken away for rape, but swore he'd kill me when he got out of prison. My parents, and Alex never forgave me for that. Never forgave me for "tearing the family apart." Though it wasn't my fault my uncle was a perverted fuckhead that took joy in raping his seven year old neice while his brother was settling business in Europe. That's the reason I started cutting. I was so scarred from what my uncle did, that it was the only way I could really attempt to get over what I went through. I went through several theapists, and was even hospitilized at a point, and still, nothing, I was still broken, and still so fragile. I stayed in the washroom. I didn't come out, I didn't want to. I didn't want to see anyone. The bell signalling for second period began to ring. And I stood still. Still firmly staring at myself in the streaky washroom mirror of Forks High. My phone kept vibrating, and I knew I was getting a string of texts and/or calls, probably from the Cullen's. I wonder what happened to Mike. A small voice at the back of my head said slowly, as if it was mocking me. I shook my head, desperate to get it out. And looked at myself once more. I sighed, and began reapplying my makeup, making up for what was lost as I was crying. Once I finished, I sat down near the big full-length mirror and pulled my phone out from my bag. Text messages: 23.
It's only second period and I had twenty three text messages. I didn't bother scrolling through all of them, but they were all from the Cullen's, with the stream of "I'll kill Mike," "are you okay?," "Where are you?," "are you in trouble," etc. Except for one. That was from Alex. I curiously opened it, wondering what she could have possibly texted me. The only thing it read was: "I know. I'm sorry." I shook my head, what? She knew what had happened? That Mike practically jumped me in the hall? That I've been bawling my eyes out in this washroom for the past two hours? I couldn't be sure. I stood up abruptly, and walked toward the washroom door. Taking a deep breath, I pulled it opened and walked outside.
The halls seemed to be eerily quiet; I guess everyone was in the classes I wasn't in. I turned left and walked to my marketing class, giving myself a mini peptalk as I tried to calm my pounding heart, willing myself to just make it through the day. I opened the door timidly and took a few uneasy steps inside. I saw Emmett jerk abruptly in his seat, and look at me with the longing to come over to me, but he knew he couldn't.Mr. Banner, who was single-handedly the coolest teacher at this school looked at my with sympathy in his eyes, he motioned for us to chat outside, alone, where no one could hear us. I turned around and walked back out of the classroom, leaning against the wall opposite the classroom door. Mr. Banner instructed the class to do something, and walked outside to join me.
"Bella, are you okay?" He looked at me with such a painful expression that my entire heart lurched, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I couldn't pretend. I couldn't pretend that I was okay, that I had simply gotten over it. Even if he didn't hurt me. I shook my head, I didn't have the ability to speak without bawling into tears. I knew I didn't, and I didn't even want to attempt to try.
"We're so sorry, the situation has been handled. Mike is no longer attending this school, from here on out. And we notified your parents, they're expecting you home soon.. they asked specifically for you and your sister to leave the school right about now, actually." And with that, Alex strode up to my classroom, looking pink faced and puffy, looking from her feet, to mee, to Mr. Banner, to her feet again.
"I'll take it from here, Mr. Banner." Alex said with what I think was an attempted smile. Mr. Banner gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and walked into the classroom. I strode in the direction of my locker, with Alex standing next to me the entire way, and waiting for me to grab my stuff, keep in sync with me every step of the way. We got to the main doors of the school, and stode out with the confidence the Swan sisters always had. I walked to my car and looked at Alex. She opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again and climbed into her car. I did the same, and seconds later we were speeding down the highway and pulling up to our house. I played no music in the car. Even that couldn't help me feel better. We both parked in the front of the house, and locked our cars as we got to the top of the stair. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door, steping into the foyer with a clatter. All of a sudden I heard footsteps and heavy breathing; It was my parents, running, to... me? They both brought me into a big hug and I listened to my mother slightly whimpering.
"We're so sorry.. so, so sorry." my dad said with a squeak in his voice. I was so confused, why were they acting this way towards me, of all people? I didn't say anything, though, because this was the first time in a long time I've felt any connection to my parents, even if it brought a terrible thing like this to give it to me.