1. Orphan
Powder is seven years old when she hears the word for the first time.
She isn't supposed to hear it. Vander told them not to come into the big room when there's patrons there. She thinks that means 'people who only come to drink something', because they all seem to leave again after a while. She's glad that they don't stay. This is their place now. Violet said so.
So Powder often creeps up the stairs to the big room, even just to peek. There's lots of interesting people up there. That day, she spies Vander at the bar with a large, fat man sitting opposite him. They both look quiet. Not too-many-drinks-quiet, but…thinking-quiet. Vander often thinks quiet, Powder has noticed. Maybe you have to do that when you are an adult.
The fat man is swirling his drink in his glass. He asks, "How are they doing?"
Vander replies, "Well, I suppose, under the circumstances."
The fat man sighs. "Vander, what's your plan? How do you plan to take care of two orphan girls?"
"I'll figure it out, alright?" Vander's tone is defensive. Powder knows that that tone means she shouldn't ask any more questions.
The fat man doesn't seem to know that and continues: "You'll come to curse that soft heart of yours. Did you forget we're wanted criminals topside? What do you think happens to your kids when they send an army of enforcers down here?"
"If that happens, they won't be worse off than they were when I found them." Vander leans heavily on the bar, supporting his face with his hands. "But I won't let it happen. I have to take care of them, Benzo."
"Good luck convincing the enforcers when they barge in the door."
"I said; I won't let it happen."
Powder flinches at the word 'enforcer'. The image of a metal mask with evil eyes flashes in her mind and she clasps a hand over her mouth before it can make a noise. She won't cry, she tells herself. She doesn't want to cry anymore. The enforcers can't make her cry here. Violet won't let them.
The fat man's voice drifts back into her perception: "Shit, man, I respect it. But the others, they don't understand why you've stopped fighting. What'll you tell them?"
Another sigh. "Perhaps just the truth. They'll understand."
A scoff. "You have more faith in them than I do. Two orphans' lives against freedom from Piltover wouldn't be a hard choice for them, I'd wager. And Silco is already whipping them into another frenzy."
At that, Powder sees Vander straighten for the first time. "I'll deal with him. This can't go on and he knows it."
"Deal with him." The fat man nods slowly. "Okay. Want my help for that 'talk'?"
"No. He's my responsibility." Vander finishes his glass and starts to turn around. Powder ducks behind the stairs before he sees her. She quickly starts scrambling back down, just catching Vander's question to the fat man: "Can I ask you to take care of the girls while I'm gone?"
Slinking back into their room, Powder doesn't hear the man's response. She is trying to make sense of what she heard. Her and Violet are 'orphans' and Vander is trying to stop something bad from happening. Somehow, those two things are related. But what worse thing could happen to them anymore, she wonders. They've already lost mama and their home. Maybe this is their home now. Maybe they'd lose it too if Vander didn't stop the bad thing from happening?
You could lose Violet, too.
Powder hates it when the voice inside her head says things like that. Sometimes she wishes she could just shut it up. At least this time she knows for certain that it is wrong.
"Vi?"
"What is it, Powder?"
"What does 'orphans' mean?"
At first there is no response from above her. For a moment Powder thinks her sister fell asleep. Then there's a shuffle and Violet's head appears over the rim of her bunk bed. Her face wears an expression that powder, who usually knows all of her expressions, can't place. "Where have you heard that?" she wants to know.
"The fat man. Vander's friend."
Powder sees her sister's fingers clench around the bedstead. Now the expression morphs into a more familiar anger. "He said that to you?"
"I was listening to them," Powder explains. The worried voice inside her is growing more insistent, seeing her sister's reaction. "He said we're orphans. What does that mean, Vi?"
Instead of a response, Violet swings her legs over her bed and clambers down to Powder's. She sits on the rim and takes Powder's hand in hers. Confused, Powder sits up, too. She can feel a cold feeling running up her back. Her sister is acting so strange. Perhaps she shouldn't have asked.
Finally Violet says: "It… it means we have no parents, Powder. That's what 'orphans' means. That we have nobody to take care of us."
That's a bad thing, but not as bad as Powder secretly feared it could be. And it also doesn't make any sense. "But… we have Vander, don't we?"
She feels Violet squeeze her hand. "Of course we do. We're safe here."
"And you take care of me! So I'm not an orphan!" Powder emphasizes.
"I-," Violet falters. She never falters. "I don't know if I can, Powder."
"Of course you can!" Powder protests. Sometimes her sister can be really silly. Almost as silly as the voice in her head. "You always take care of me. You even made the bad men go away!"
"That's not what happened," Violet says. She looks uncertain.
At that, Powder throws her arms around her and hugs her. "Yes it is. They left when you and Vander just looked at them! As long as you're here, they won't come. And if they do, you'll show them!"
There's a hesitant flicker of that smile that Violet only ever gives to her. "You really think so?"
"Mmhm!" Powder nods. She doesn't just think so; she knows it. Violet held her hand when they lost mama. She got them off the bridge, too. If Powder had kept singing, like she told her to, maybe even their mama would still be alive.
Powder sniffs wetly. Despite her best efforts, she can feel tears in her eyes again. She knows she did something very wrong. But Violet never blamed her for it. She is good. She takes care of her. And once she's bigger, Powder will take care of her, too. That's what sisters do.
She can feel Violet hug her more tightly. "I'm just glad you're still with me, Powder," she whispers.
Where else would I be? is on the tip of Powder's tongue. But she knows what her sister means. So she just says, "Always." Because she's glad Violet is with her, too.
Powder is seven years old when she hears the word for the first time.
She is eight when she realizes that Violet is her whole world.
She is ten when she learns that she shouldn't have been afraid of falling.