This one is post-Reichenbach but pre-Empty Hearse.
14. Joke
John? -SH
John it's me, I...borrowed a phone from a passerby. -SH
John, answer me. I know you're getting these -SH
Stop it. This isn't funny. -JW
I realize this isn't funny that's why I need you to come to Baker Street right away. -SH
Look, whoever you are, joke's over. I don't know who gave you this number, but stop texting me -JW
John, it's Sherlock, I'm not dead. -SH
Yes, he is, Sherlock's been dead for nearly two years. Now stop texting me or I'm getting the police involved! -JW
John, please, it really is me. We need to talk. Just come down to the flat. -SH
No, I am not coming to the flat and no, YOU ARE NOT SHERLOCK HOLMES! Now loose this number before I hunt you down myself. I mean it. -JW
I'm sorry. John I am truly, truly sorry. I didn't realize this would affect you so much.-SH
See, that's how I know it's not Sherlock. Because Sherlock Holmes would never apologize to me. Now, leave. Me. Alone. -JW
Alright, John, alright. I'll loose this phone and stop texting you. Just, if you ever get the time, stop by 221B. I left something for you. -SH
Yeah right, that will never happen. -JW
-two hours later-
Why is there Irene Adler's phone on the table? -JW
How did you get that? -JW
And why is there a note that says "I'm not dead, lets have dinner." -JW
...Sherlock...? -JW
Hope that one was ok... Anyways, I am in need of some more wonderful suggestions from you guys! Please please PLEASE leave on in a review if you have a quick idea! It doesn't have to be anything elaborate it can be just a sentence of what you want Sherlock and John (or others) to say.