When Rei woke up, the worst thing he feared was getting a Bidoof as a starter because he overslept.

Finding himself in a featureless void with a golden light dangling over his face was a bit out of his expectations. He tried to pinch himself and wake up properly, but the only source of ambient lighting preempted that.

"I welcome thou to my realm, Rei. Thine presence is most necessary," spoke the tiny ball with the booming voice of a theater dork.

Some puzzled blinking later, Rei pinched himself. Nothing changed, and he started to grow worried. The nerdy light took it as its cue to continue. "I am that which humans call Arceus."

"Ar... soos?" Rei asked, blinking. All that name brought him back to were sleep-inducing history lessons with a failed grade.

"Thy pronounciation requires some work," the ball said dryly. "But thine wordsmithery is not what brought thou here. Peril awaits in a land far away, and thy arrival is paramount to restore order."

Rei frowned, pieces falling into place. "Wait, is this some sort of... chosen one quest style thing? RPG style?"

"I do not know what an 'Arr Pee Jee' is."

Rei's spontaneous bout of snickering brought the orb of light to an awkward pause.

It raised its tone. "Thou shall find thyself in this land, unlike any thou had ever seen. A strange new locale in need of a bridge between humans and the wondrous creatures thou know as Pokémon."

Rei's immature laughter petered out to seriousness, contemplating the entity's words. He knew all the isekai Anime he watched would come in handy eventually! Bewilderment made way for excitement, the idea of his very own chosen one adventure enough of an incentive to shut down any pesky questions.

Save for one. "But, why me?"

"All will be known in due time. Seek every Pokémon there, and everything shall become clear."

"Seek? Sorry, I don't have much of a Pokédex or anything-"

"That can be fixed with ease."

Rei's phone floated out of his pocket, bringing the teen in high alert. He scampered into the void, but was unable to reach the ever more distant device. "Hey, wait! I've got stuff in there!"

"And more 'stuff' it shall have." Like magic, the phone shone as brightly as the ball, enough to fill the space with brightness. "May thine fate be prosperous for the arduous task ahead."

"Wait! I still haven't-"

Rei's heroic resolve to recover the phone was swiftly put to rest as the brightness increased, the whiteness blinding the boy into a daze- and making way for the darkness of unconsciousness.

"Hey, are you well…?"

As Rei came back to consciousness and blinked his eyes opened, he realized a few things. First, he was now in a barren beach leading to a large clearing, the salty air reaching his nostrils and helping him wake up. Second, sandy ground made for a terrible sleeping spot.

And third, there was now an absolutely gigantic man dressed like an old timey scientist with a spiffy lavender beanie looking down on him with concern.

Rei would've jumped on his feet if his body didn't ache like a truck ran him over. Fortunately, the giant didn't seem malicious, kneeling down to check him up with interest. The boy felt a shiver run down his spine for more than the chilly breeze, but he remained composed as he managed to reach a sitting position. Everyone knew isekai stories always involved some strange new worlds and their inhabitants, after all.

"We don't see many like you here in Hisui... let us get you fixed up." The man rummaged through his pocket, producing some blue cream. He approached to apply some, but Rei shook his head.

"I'll pass. Just need this headache to go away..." Rei groaned, rubbing away at his aching temple. He could swear his head felt twice as heavy as before.

The giant froze in place, losing the grip on the bottle of cream and leaving it to shatter on impact. He leapt back in a panic, startling Rei as well.

"I-It talks!" Panic made way to an excited grin, and the titan pocketed his hands in a hurried frenzy, searching for something. "That is astounding! I need to document this!"

Rei was none too happy to be an unwitting curiosity, frowning at the well-dressed gentleman. The man didn't notice it, caught as he was in producing a camera that looked older than Rei's grandmother and aiming it at the boy.

The rustle and bustle of three odd-looking Poké Balls clanking on each other and falling to the ground left no time for an impromptu photoshoot.

An owl, an echidna and an otter burst out of the capture devices, turning around in confusion. Rei blinked, the Rowlet, Cyndaquil and Oshawott looking almost human sized.

The giant lowered his camera and turned to the Pokémon in a snap, sporting a horrified grimace. The escapees got their bearings, grinned, and legged it for the clearing at high speed.

"Freedom is near, my lieges!"

"Finally!"

"See ya, Laventon!"

Snickering and throwing raspberries, the three mismatched starters raced out of sight. The giant looked perturbed, shoving the camera back in his labcoat and getting on the chase at a moderate stroll. "Wait! Don't run off!"

The jumbo-size Pokémon gave his request no regard, and the merry gang left the very puzzled Rei behind.

He blinked, trying to catch up to all the shebang he had just witnessed. A super-sized world of talking Pokémon and silly giants wasn't exactly what he expected out of his grand heroic debut, but beggars couldn't be choosers. But whatever mess he was getting into, he really needed to do something about those achy limbs first.

Rei sighed and gave a shrug, finally deciding to hop back on his feet and stretch a bit. He woobled back in place, letting out a tired yawn, and then finally spotted the thing that had just given him the back pain of a lifetime.

He forgave it on the spot.

"My phone! You're back to me!" he shouted, grabbing the device and hugging it like the softest teddy bear. Like everything else it was about twice its previous size and had an uncomfortably spiky makeover, but these were things he had little problem with.

Rei tried to check if his data was still in place after the godly upgrade, but as he got a look at the screen, the boy quirked an eyebrow. "Wait a minute..."

Rather than his way too vast collection of silly photos, a weird sort of messaging app was open, featuring a simple message.

Be the bridge.

Rei frowned, recalling the words of the theater kid light. How the land he would find himself in would need him to bridge humans and Pokémon and other stuff lost in a sea of weird diction. He glanced over to the man in the clearing, still stuck in a losing game of cat and mouse with the three Pokémon, and in clear need of help.

With nothing better to start from, Rei shrugged and clutched the phone close, deciding to approach the man - Laventon, supposedly- and learn more of what was going on.

After a stroll that took longer than it should have, Rei joined Laventon's side. The giant was frowning and taking shallow breaths, while the victorious Pokémon enjoyed their prancing around the area at his expense.

"Oh, goodness... I knew I should've waited for Akari."

"You need to fetch those talking Pokémon, right?" Rei asked, glancing over the runaway trio.

Laventon jumped in surprise, eyes wide in shock towards the smaller boy. "You!"

"It's Rei, thank you." He placed his phone aside and winked at the man, thumping over his chest. "Let me bridge this up, alright? You can thank me later."

Laventon did not reply, but neither did Rei wait for it. He strode forward for the trio of troublemakers, putting on his mean face as he pointed forward dramatically.

"Hey, you three!" Rei's shout was enough to bring the Pokémon's attention towards him. Surprised, they came closer and looked straight back towards the new arrival.

"Oh. Laventon's got a new helper, huh," Rowlet commented, squinting his eyes and rubbing his non-existent chin.

Cyndaquil snickered loudly. "Sorry, we came first. And three's all he needs!"

"Correct," Oshawott concluded, arms folded and frowning in the cutest attempt to be stoic and intimidating.

Rei took a deep breath. "Right now it looks like he'd need you to come back. Can you do it, please?"

The diplomatic approach appeared to make waves, the three starters turning to each other in silent deliberation. Then, Rowlet stepped forward to engage Rei, bearing his stare into him.

"Let me think about it," the owl furrowed his brow, the unchanging expression making Rei wish they weren't the same height. Then, he bowed down. "Well, guess we can do it."

"That's goo-Wah!" Rei leapt out of the way mid-sentence, narrowly avoiding Rowlet's rushing Tackle.

"Not!" Rowlet proudly cackled as he stopped, turning around and ready to dish other attacks.

"That was dangerous, you know! I just wanted to talk!"

"Oh come on, that didn't even hurt!"

"We're gonna have our fun and you can't stop us!" Cyndaquil added, flames lighting up. Oshawott remained silent, but his stare betrayed no intention to go back either.

"So that's the game you wanna play." Rei rolled his eyes, clearing his throat. He pointed forward again. "If you don't stop and behave, I... uuuh... will give you a bad time. You will regret ever crossing me!"

He gave his most convincing scowl, his voice shifted to a very forced rasp that was sure to be intimidating. The three Pokémon remained silent, and Rei dared hoping his half-baked threat actually worked.

The resulting raucous laughter proved him very wrong.

"That's seriously the best you came up with?"

"I can't believe it, we found a bigger pushover than Laventon!"

Rei gulped, really regretting passing over that speech course. He didn't have much time to commiserate, however, as the stoic Oshawott finally approached, Scalchop in hand and glare aimed at him.

"Shall I teach him a lesson, my lieges?" the Water-type asked, beating the Scalchop over his other hand.

Rowlet gave him a dismissive wing gesture. "Oh, sure. You tackle that, Oshawott."

"This is going to be fun..." Cyndaquil said, already having grabbed several Oran Berries and sharing a few with Rowlet.

Oshawott marched onward, Scalchop aimed and ready to clobber. It put Rei on immediate high alert, his heart racing a mile a hour as he threw his arms up.

"H-hey, come on, we can solve this calmly! No need for violence!"

"You dared disturbing my lieges's recreational activities." Oshawott held his seashell weapon high, a bloodthirsty glint in his eye. "You shall perish!"

The samurai otter charged onward, blade unsheated and about to dish punishment. Rei took his impending doom with an appropriate response.

"Wah! Stop! Please! I surrender!" he shouted incoherently, throwing both arms forward and squinting his eyes closed, bringing forth all his middle schooler fighting proficiency to shove away his incoming adversary.

He felt his body propelled forward, the blow of impact was strong enough to send Rei back several feet, his whole form vibrating afterwards. Yet, he didn't feel like he was just made into pudding, insteading hearing several cries melding into each other and ending in a loud crack.

Curious, he opened his eyes again, only to be left bewildered. Oshawott was thrown back with enough force to leave a trace on the dirt, bowling over Rowlet and Cyndaquil into a messy, Oran Berry juice-flavored heap right into a tree, which was now severely cracked and toppled over.

Rei blinked. Then decided to roll with it.

"... Suckers...?" He sounded barely convinced himself, but still tried to pull off the dorkiest menacing grin out there.

Luckily, The trio of troublemakers had better things to pay mind than his milquetoast threat level, with Rowlet and Cyndaquil staring at their dazed companion with eyes wide open.

"No way! He defeated Oshawott!" Cyndaquil shouted, his bravado and literal fire spent. Oshawott managed to get up, holding himself up with his weapon, but whatever happened had put him out of commission for fighting.

Rowlet gulped, all his smug confidence gone. "Uhhh... well..."

Rei put his hands on his sides, cackling even louder than the troublemaking Pokémon did.

"Heh. See what I can do?" He puffed his chest, making himself seem bigger. "And there's more where that came from!"

So long as he wasn't asked for it, of course.

No request came thankfully, as both Rowlet and Cyndaquil groveled down in instant penitence. "Okay! Okay! We surrender!"

"You better."

Neither of the two Pokémon attempted another cheap shot, leading Rei to sigh in relief and drop the menacing act. He went and helped the still reeling Oshawott get closer, receiving a forlorn stare from the defeated otter.

"That strength... it was nothing like anything I ever saw." With an exhale, Oshawott paced in front of his two compatriots, Scalchop on hand again. "My lieges, I failed you. I must restore your tarnished honor!"

He held the weapon high, aimed for the kill. It brought Rei and the other Pokémon in high alert.

"Oh no no no! It's okay! Honor is fine, promise!" they tried to say, but their plea fell on deaf eyes. They rushed to stop.

None of them was fast enough. Oshawott closed his eyes, and thrusted the Scalchop on his face.

It bonked him softly on the forehead with all of Oshawott's strength.

Oshawott whined with more nuissance than pain, falling on his butt. "Ow."

The rogue starters and Rei stared at Oshawott, then at each other, then shrugged and moved on. The boy could've said several things about Oshawott's behavior, but he decided against it. The Water-type's pride was wounded enough as it was.

As the three Pokémon patiently waited ahead of Rei, the boy heard the sound of footsteps approaching. He turned to find Laventon reaching his side, observing the pacified trio with great interest. It made Rei feel all the happier for how things went.

"That's impressive. You managed to communicate with them in an intelligible fashion and stop them from causing trouble..." He struck his chin, giving Rei a smile. "That's a fascinating set of skills. Very useful indeed."

"And I'm here to help out!" Rei declared with a smile of his own, hopping to grab his phone with glee. "But first, let's have a selfie! For Rei's first cool Hisui victory!"

The Professor and his Pokémon were more than a bit confused by what a 'selfie' was, but they all huddled down as Rei worked his way through his device, trying to see if any apps were still there. It took a bit of work, but by some miracle, Rei managed to get the camera app running and ready to snap a photo. He grinned, checking the frame on the screen.

And immediately sunk into horror.

Reflected on the screen wasn't his face, but the very small, very fluffy, very white and orange form of a Scorbunny, mimicking his very movements. Silently, with a panicked stare, he touched to his cheek, seeing on the screen the same Pokémon paw he realized to have.

The resulting scream was loud enough to be heard all over Hisui.

Welcome, everyone, to my first chapter of a new and very different endeavor than my usual. Hope you enjoyed it!

This story's concept came out of nowhere, born from discussion of how Pokémon Legends: Arceus has a plot quite close to the one of the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games, and thinking that it would've been pretty amusing to write a story exploiting that to its logical conclusion, with the human protagonist chosen by Arceus turned into a Pokémon for the Hisuian adventure. I also wanted to write something pretty different from my usual style of stories as a way to challenge myself and experiment a bit.

It was pretty enjoyable to define Rei and some of the other upcoming major characters, and I hope even if the twist is obvious to expect the joke still ultimately landed. I don't plan this to be a completely comedic plot, but there's sure to be a lot of laughs in the future of this story.

Also, in regards to Oshawott's attempted seppuku, let's just say some choices taken with it were wholly intentional.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that you'll keep looking forward to what's to come!