Still sadly I own nothing, but if I did...
Monday afternoon she found herself in Cragen's office not wanting to ask for time off, but since she had promised Alex, she had no choice. She quickly looked around the room knowing he would wonder why she wanted time off, she even came in sick, he was always forcing her to go home and rest. "Captain, I need to take a few days off, I have some time and if I don't use it I will loose it." Sighing as she hopped he wouldn't ask questions.
He nodded, as Alex had called and already told him of her plans and gotten him to let her have the full week off. He had been shocked when she called and told him of her return back to the city, along with a few details. "Sure, have a good time," he said with a smile, not telling her Alex had called and how surprised he had been to learn of her return. Olivia nodded and left to return to some more DD5's she had to finish up for an older case that had just gotten a break.
The case was of a ten year old little girl, found beaten and attacked outside her apartment building, it would keep them busy for the next few weeks. It had gone cold as they had no suspect, but someone had called in a tip and they were re investigating it.
As it got closer to the vacation they were now taking, Olivia's nightmares and night sweats had gotten worse, she wasn't as bad as she had been before Alex had come home, but had slipped back some, a few times she had woken up crying "No, please, no.. don't.. what is it you want?" She could hear his voice in her head, feel him pressing into her from behind through clothes, all the stuff that had happened, even once she dreamed something much worse happened, but knew it didn't once she woke up. Alex would come running into her room, brush the hair from her face waking her up and slowly rock her back to sleep, once when she heard her asking what he wanted in her sleep, she wondered just how bad this really was, but would let her tell in her own time. "Shh, baby it's ok your safe, I'm here." The only good thing she found was not waking up screaming, crying yes, but no screams.
Finally the day of the trip was there, they were all packed and the cab was outside, Olivia took one last look around still not sure she wanted to go, but knew once on the plane she would be ok. Alex took her hand pulling her into a hug, "baby just think, soon we will be on the slopes." Before long they were at the airport, checked in, boarded and had found their seats. As the plane took off Olivia sighed a deep seeded relief, She was stuck but happy since now there was no turning back, she resigned herself to it and was determined to have some fun, after all it was only a few days. "Baby," Alex said.
"Hmmm?" Olivia said, eyes closed with her head leaning back on the seat.
"I have a small surprise, I cleared it with Cragen, and we have the whole week here." She gave a lopsided smile.
Her eyes sprang open looking over at her love in the next seat, "a whole week?" She wasn't sure how she would make it a week, but realized that must have been why Alex needed the extra bag, she had only packed for four days. Deciding, well she was in for four, what was a few more days. "Thanks love, but you should have told me sooner." Not really that upset, but she wished she had known. "Wow you told captain your back."
Alex gave a sheepish grin, "well, I was afraid you'd find a way out of it if I said it was a week."
Olivia grinned knowing she was right.
By three pm they were checked in and unpacking, as Olivia flopped down on the bed she grinned again, "what's with the grin?" Alex asked putting away the last of her stuff. "Nothing, thank you is all." She really didn't know how thank her for all this, she hadn't wanted it, even tried to get out of it, but now here, it was as if New York was a million miles away. She moved over kissing Alex, this time she had all control, Alex never made a move to her face, let Olivia call all the shots. They kissed and cuddled on the bed for almost two hours, as Olivia slowly adjusted into vacation mode. She even Let Alex run her bath in the jacuzzi tub, as she settled in Alex surprised her with bubbles, then left the bathroom.
They went to dinner before taking a walk, they went down a snowy path, tall trees covered in snow. It was there own winter wonderland, they walked through the trees to find a small clearing, and spent time making snow angels laughing and having fun before going back. Olivia's arm around Alex as they walked, no one talking much as they didn't feel the need, they could be together without the need for words, and just be happy. Finally as they made it back to the cabin, Olivia felt relaxed more than she had in so long, she decided to start a fire, she stuffed the fire place with a few small logs, crumpled some paper that had been the local news paper for kindling, and once the fire was going nicely went to curl up with her love on the rug in front of it. Alex Had picked up a bottle of wine and was pouring two glasses holding one out to Liv, "mmm thanks for starting the fire baby."
It was two days later when Olivia woke up in a cold sweat, blankets kicked off accidentally hitting Alex in the face, and now feeling even worse for doing so, "Sorry," was all she got out. Alex jumped up as soon as she was hit, her breathing fast, heart racing, but as soon as she realized it was Olivia with a bad dream and had been an accident she was calm. Taking a wet wash cloth from the bathroom she wiped Olivia's face soothing her back to bed before she leaned back, she stayed awake the rest of the night watching over her, as dawn filtered in some sunlight into the room she finally let herself sleep.
The next day passed with some skiing, Olivia had never been and had taken one of those two hour lessons and was now on the bunny slopes as it was, feeling a bit out of place as mostly kids were on them, but Alex stuck with her although she was an avid skier from trips she and her family took when she was younger. When Olivia fell landing on her butt, Alex laughed from how cute she looked, not noticing the small snowball Olivia made and now threw at her, "hey!" Pouting with her lip out just a bit also not her usual form, Olivia stood up and bit it gently, "come catch me." Alex went off after her laughing.
That night, Olivia had started to open up but stopped just short of saying anything several times, she wanted to say something anything, she felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. After a while they settled into a comfortable silence, cuddling, kissing, smiling, Alex let Liv make all the moves careful to not touch her face again. Finally when they fell asleep, it was only three hours later later she woke up screaming. It had been almost two months since she had done that, her dreams no longer made her wake up that way until tonight. She was back in the basement, but this time handcuffed to the door, hand stuck over her head, his hands pulling her toward his bits, hard and right in her face, 'NO, NO, NOOOOO.' Tears pouring down her face as she choked her no's out, 'Shut up.' he said.'you bite me your dead.' Saying one last time, 'shut up.' his bits now pressing on her lips. It was only then that Fin had come and rescued her.
Why was it the worst nightmares and flashbacks came when she kissed Alex?
Alex awoke with a flash, hearing Olivia's screams, "baby shhh, your safe, no one's here, your safe, your safe." Tears and wracking sobs poured out of Olivia, her whole body shaking. thirty minutes later, finally calm enough to speak up she found the words she needed.
"he was... he had... um..." she was still shaking trying regain her composure, she stood up pacing back and forth, this time it took her close to an hour telling Alex it all, she told her of the basement, the bed, how he threw her on it saying, 'now shut up, and do as your told.' she went on to say how he hit her, kept squeezing her face in his hands, how she was able to hit him and run off hiding for a bit, not before he had pressed his hard bits against her from behind with his clothes on. She also told her of being hit with the night stick once found, and forced out, hitting him again trying one last time to run off. She told her how she was handcuffed to the door, and that's where he had pressed his bits to her lips. She mentioned how at the very last second Fin came running to her rescue.
Olivia held her breath, not daring to make a sound, afraid Alex thought the worst of her her for letting herself be taking down there, for all that followed because of it, well if she was being honest with herself that is she felt disgusted for letting him do that. She knew Alex hated her, and thought she was disgusting for letting him do that, not stopping him and having to be saved by Fin.
After what felt like ages Alex opened her mouth as if she might speak.
Please as Always R/R ooo, what will she say? will Liv stay calm, with all her issues, and Alex seaming to take her time? or will she flip out, maybe run? ok not the best cliffy but who knows...