Still sadly I own nothing, but if I did...
The week felt like it went on for ever, just having testified on the Silvers case, and with her up coming appointment, she was having a bad week. Eliot started to ask what was going on, since she looked like she hadn't slept in ages, but again like right after she returned from sealview she was on edge and short, "drop it El, nothings wrong." Sighing, "I just didn't get any sleep last night,"
He grinned at her, "so went well last night then." He figured her and Alex had a nice night.
Brushing him off, "nothing happened, just didn't sleep." She hopped he would drop it, if only she though to herself, 'I should be so lucky.'
He started to say something else, but instead sighed letting it go, he knew he wouldn't get whatever it was out of her. "Ok so what do we have on the new case? I like the sister for it, but can't find anything on her, not even an old parking ticket."
Shaking her head, Olivia had nothing either, the case was turning up dead end after dead end, no new leads and nothing tying the sister, other than her affair with the brothers girlfriend. "So far her story checks out, was seen leaving the bar well after time of death, but I have the feeling she left and came back, there's an hour unaccounted for."
It was the night before her first appointment, Alex had decided to order out, since neither felt like cooking, she smiled over at Liv while looking through menu's. "What do you feel like baby?" nothing really caught her eye in the way of food yet.
"Just pick something, anything I don't care." she answered. Olivia hadn't told Alex of her appointment, and was not only on edge, but very short with her. Her arms were wrapped around herself under a blanket on the couch absently staring at some tv show she wasn't even interested in. Her mind was a million miles away, she knew she was picking a fight, but at that point she didn't care.
Lex looked up at her over the menus a bit surprised, it had been a while since they had fought, and didn't have a clue why she was being so short tempered. "hey no need to get huffy, what's going on?" Running her hand through her hair she waited for some explanation. She knew the week had been long, but what the hell, she had only asked about dinner.
"Nothing, everything is fine." She looked right at her as if to say don't push me. "Chinese, General Tao's chicken, I'm going for a shower." She stood up and walked out of the room before Alex could say more.
Lex sat there watching her walk off, not sure what just happened, but was to late now to ask. "Ok, chinese it is." She went to the phone placed the order making sure to get some egg rolls, and egg drop soup as well, and a few almond cookies, they were the best in her opinion. Sitting back down she ran though the events of the day in her mind, what was it making Liv so short and on edge? Oh well, she would find out later.
By the time Liv was out of the shower and dressed, Alex was flipping channels waiting on the food. Sitting down, "so what's this one about?" She asked motioning to the show, it was some comedy Alex seamed to enjoy.
"Not sure, just started." Alex smiled at her, flashing her one of her patented I know this melts you smiles. "So what's wrong love, want to talk about it?" She was really hopping Liv would tell her as she opened herself up so Liv could come snuggle with her.
Liv curled up on her side of the couch, not into Alex, as Alex would have liked, feeling a bit hurt, but brushed it off. She knew there would be times Olivia couldn't have handled being touched, but till now it hadn't come, something was up, but knowing Liv as she did, she knew she wouldn't get anything out of her. Liv covered herself again with the blanket, "If they took any longer, we could have traveled to china for dinner instead." she said irritatedly.
Alex looked over at Liv raising an eyebrow, not sure if she should say anything or let it be, then if as on que, the buzzer went off. It had only been an hour and the food was finally here. Standing up to get the door, she let them in after finding out who it was and when the guy left, nice tip in hand as well, she set about placing the food on the coffee table.
After a silent dinner, Olivia cleaned up still looking pensive and not talking to her. Alex finally decided to speak up, "hey gonna tell me what it is?"
"What, what is?" Olivia said sitting back down trying not to have this conversation, she didn't want to tell her about tomorrow, or her feelings, it was one thing she had told Alex, but talking to a stranger, that was something she knew she had to do, but definitely didn't want to.
"What this is, your attitude, the fact that your barely talking to me, that you sit there looking pissed off." So it had been a long week, so what, 'I'm your girlfriend.' she though to herself, she has no need to be this short with me.
Sighing, trying to be softer, "there's no attitude, just a long week. can we leave it alone now?" She tried to be softer, but it still came out all wrong, and ended up sounding harsh.
"Whatever, I'm not going to fight, don't tell me." She flipped the channel again, finding some music channel to listen to, she picked a book up and started reading.
"I'm going to bed." Olivia said finally, she was glad the issue was dropped but was still on edge, and her mood showed no signs of letting up. Still she kissed Alex's forehead and walked into her room, grateful other than the trip and the second night she still slept alone.
"Night," Lex said feeling frustrated as she watched Liv go.
That night Olivia had the worst of her worst nightmares, she woke up drenched in sweat, shaking, and hardly able to lay still. She got up took a really long shower scrubbing herself four times before the water was cold, and she got out. it was 3am and she knew she wouldn't sleep, she got onto her laptop, trying to distract herself, without much success. After surfing a few sites, she found some online game she would have never played but tried to keep herself from changing her mind about her appointment.
The next day, showered changed and out the door before Alex was even up, she had made her appointment early. Giving her name to the receptionist, taking a seat not sure what she really expected out of this. The therapist walked out introducing herself, "hi I'm Samantha, call me Sam." They walked into her office, as she told Olivia to take a seat anywhere she wanted.
Olivia took a seat wringing her hands, somewhat sweaty, and sat there for what felt like forever, she hated why she was here and didn't know what to say. "Why don't we start with you asking me some questions, so you can get to know me a bit," Sam suggested.
Olivia liked the idea nodding as she asked a few easy questions, where she went to school, why she took up being a therapist, and a few other questions. Finally, after they talked a bit and a long pause Olivia asked the big one, "Why this particular one, why do you want to work with assault victims?" Sam smiled at her as she answered, "I got into this after my attack." Olivia's eyes widened for a moment letting it sink in, so this was why, but then nodding, at least she would understand. "It was, fifteen years ago." Sam went on then let it go. She didn't need to give more details, but she never hid this fact from her patients.
Olivia took another few moments before speaking again. "Well, I don't feel as if I deserve to be here, it came so close, he had it right there, if Fin... I wasn't even Rap-" she paused not sure she had the rights to call herself a victim, she always went back and forth in her head on that issue.
"Olivia, you were sexually assaulted, you have every right to be here." Sam said easily, but determined to make sure she knew she meant it.
"I know that," she said tapping her forehead. "I know that here," then tapping her heart, "but not here."
Sam nodded, as they talked a few more minutes then time was up, "how does coming back next week sound? there is also a group for assault victims I would like you to check out." Olivia nodded, agreeing to come back and to try the group at least once, if she didn't like it, she wouldn't be back she thought to herself.
After leaving the office, appointments in hand stopped for coffee before heading to work.
She went home around 7pm stopping off to pick up flowers for Alex, she felt bad for taking out her frustrations out on her the night before. "Hi Love," she said walking in with the tulips Alex loved, she knew they were her favorite. "Sorry about yesterday, was just a long week."
Alex took the flowers smiling as she smelled them, then put them in some water. "It's ok baby." She went over kissing Liv loving the flowers and taking the peace offering.
They spent the night cuddling, talking, and just enjoyed the light conversation, nothing heavy was talked about, and Liv didn't tell her about the appointment, she would wait for a while. she didn't know how to say I need help and you can't be there for it all.
Please as Always R/R