A/N: This is basically a nonsense chapter. If you don't like Taylor Swift, Disney quotes, and swimming, don't read it. I thought I would put in a silly chapter of the three girls having fun before I ended it. Oh yeah, did I tell you? The next chapter will be the last one of this book…I'll announce the next title to watch out for in the next chapter. Enjoy!
"Cos when you're fifteen, and somebody tells you he loves you, you're gonna believe him," Lizzie yowled at the sky.
"Shut up!" Sam screeched, splashing a handful of water at the blonde in the next boat. The wave fell woefully short, and failed epically in getting Lizzie to stop singing Taylor Swift songs. "You've been singing every single song for three hours! Can't you think of a different artist?" Sam complained, flopping back in the boat. She rubbed her eyes. "I don't even like Taylor," she moaned. For a long moment, there was silence, no sound but the birds twittering in the trees. Sam relaxed slightly. The smooth, hard pull of Legolas rowing was soothing, and she saw he was trying to stifle a laugh. The river was calm, peaceful, and serene. A fish jumped lazily out of the water, landing with a small crested wave. Sam was just about to relax and poke Amy awake when...
"She's not a saint, she's not what you think, she's an actress, wooaahhooaa!" Lizzie yodeled. "She's better known for the things that she does on the mattress, woooaahooa!"
"ELIZABETH!"
There was a loud splash as a large rock was thrown.
"Hey! You got me wet!"
"It got you to stop singing, didn't it?"
Lizzie smiled wickedly. "Our song is the slam of screen doors, sneaking out late tapping on your window, talking on the phone an' you talk reeaall slow, 'cos it's late an' your momma don't know..."
Amy opened one eye, pinning Sam to the side of the boat with an annoyed glare. "Be quiet," the sleepy redhead mumbled, turning over and closing her eyes again. Sam settled for making rude gestures across the water to Lizzie, who flipped her hair and ignored her. Right now, when the sun was shining and the water was sparkling, the images in Galadriel's mirror seemed a million miles away. Even now, Sam was considering them perfectly ridiculous. Lizzie was fine; look at her, she was annoying everybody in sight. Except Boromir. Boromir seemed to think everything she did was adorable. Which was not really a surprise; Merry had come squeaking back to camp a few weeks ago saying he had seen Boromir and Lizzie kissing. Both of them staunchly denied this, but Merry swore on everything sacred (he swore twice on mushrooms) that he had seen them.
It was about midday when they tied all four boats together and began distributing rations. The river had slowed to a crawl, and Aragorn decided it was the perfect place to pause and have lunch. Pippin, who was as nimble as a mountain goat, scampered across the boats and began passing around lembas bread to the three other boats. Sam shook Amy awake, and the redhead grumbled an oath. The smell of warm lembas perked her up, and she reached for the loaf with only a minimum of growling. Lembas was peculiar tasting bread, but very good. It had the texture of a dry pancake mixed with shortbread, the sweetness of a cookie, and the weight of a thick artisan loaf. Overall, it was very delicious, with a crunchy exterior and a buttery-smooth interior. Amy was still nibbling on hers when she noticed Sam stretching. The shaggy haired brunette eyed the water, then shrugged and stripped off her tunic. "Don't look," Sam announced.
Amy threw aside her bread. "No, Sam, don't!" Amy cried. Sam shimmied out of her leggings and kicked them aside. She eyed the glassy water eagerly, and rolled her eyes at Amy.
"For heaven's sake, Amy, I've got on decent underwear," Sam said exasperatedly. The Hobbits all cracked up, whooping with laughter. Amy's worried expression didn't fade.
"No, that's not what I mean! You're not supposed to go swimming until an hour after you've eaten. Something about food in your belly makes you sink." Amy said, wringing her hands.
"Don't worry. If I drown, you'll pull me out," Sam said, and jumped into the water.
It was so frigidly cold that Sam wondered why it hadn't stayed frozen up on a mountain somewhere. It drove the air from her lungs and she gasped for breath, lips turning blue and goose bumps spreading across her skin like a disease. When her breath had filled her lungs, she whooped and dived under water, opening her eyes in the icy water to see what was down there. Fat gold fish swam around her, minnows nibbled on her toes, and there was an old dead log filled with more fish. Smooth rocks dotted the landscape of the riverbed, which was at least fifteen feet straight down. Silver bubbles exploded from her mouth as Sam surfaced, shaking her hair like a wet down and spattering Lizzie with the spray. To retaliate, Lizzie shrieked the chorus of "Dear John" at the top of her lungs. Sam splashed the entire Fellowship, dousing Lizzie to the bone and causing Amy to squeal with surprise and laughter. It didn't take long before they were threatening Sam's life. "If you think I'm going down there to save you from drowning, you're off your rocker!" Amy shouted at Sam. Lizzie, taking the more direct approach, was throwing rocks the size of potatoes.
Sam backstroked lazily downstream, flexing her arms. Briefly, her mind flitted upon the silver-haired elf, and she felt a scowl break across her mouth. He had no right to snub her like that. She was glad she had kneed him. Looking back on it now, she wished she had added a little extra oomph to the knee jab. But those dark gray eyes were so penetrating. She flipped on her belly and submerged her face, hiding her growl underwater. So he had nice eyes. It didn't stop him from being a jerk. She pushed herself on top of a flat rock that was worn smooth by the constant pull of the water. The boats were a little ways behind her; she decided she would hop inside when they were level with the rock. She sunbathed for a moment, absorbing the chorus of birds in the trees, the blazing sunlight on her upturned face, the gentle ripple of the river. It was beautifully peaceful, absolutely quiet, and for an instant, Sam felt at home. It was a feeling she didn't often feel, considering she was usually a wanderer. She closed her eyes briefly, allowing the feeling to wash over her.
"Sam, c'mon!" Lizzie called. Sam snapped awake and launched herself back into the boat, scrambling inside and nearly capsizing them. Legolas laughed, keeping the boat stable, while Amy looked totally petrified, clinging like a wet cat to the side of the boat.
"Don't do that!" Amy whispered, nails digging into the hard wood. Sam grinned wolfishly, her Cheshire cat grin not quite so friendly. She rocked the boat hard, swinging it backwards and forwards.
"Don't do what?" she asked innocently. For an answer, Amy kicked out at Sam and sent her sprawling into the bottom of the boat. Amy growled at her playfully.
"We sounded like Shrek, y'know," Amy said. Sam laughed.
"Shrek, I'm lookin' down!" Sam called out. Lizzie, overhearing their conversation, joined in.
"Not the button! Not the gumdrop button!" Lizzie said in a high-pitched voice. She shrieked with laughter, tumbling over her seat.
"Men like him are in - short - supply?" Amy quoted, and the three of the girls dissolved again. The Fellowship had no idea what they were talking about, and a few of them glanced at the women worriedly. After a moment of joyful silence, Amy flashed a grin at Sam. "What's this one from? 'Would you like to stay for dinner? WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?'" Amy asked.
"Mulan!" Sam and Lizzie called out. Without missing a beat, the three girls burst into song as if they were on a Broadway play. "We must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"
"Do you trust me?" Sam asked, and both Lizzie and Amy threw the answer back at her.
"Aladdin!"
"A whole new world..." They all warbled. "A dazzling place I never knew..."
"Betcha on land, they understand, bet they don't reprimand their daughters," Lizzie sang out.
"Ariel!"
"Under da sea, (under da sea), under da sea!"
"What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?" Amy said with a grin. The girls shrieked simultaneously and roared out.
"Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata, ain't no passing craze! It means no worries! For the rest of your daaaays!"
The girls were lost in a land of Disney, completely unaware that regiments of a hundred Uruks were pounding down the slopes so they could slaughter the Fellowship.