AN: Yay! I finally finished this chapter. I've been working on it for the past five days, a little each day as I had time. I was beginning to think it would never get done! Then I got it uploaded last night, but after I did all the editing and fixed the formatting, Fanfiction crashed when I hit save, and I lost all my changes. So, I have to do it all over again this morning. Sigh. At least it's a nice long chapter, right?
Also, I think this may well be the first time I've ever written anything from Jacob's POV. I'm not terribly fond of him, since he doesn't know how to take 'no' for an answer, but he insisted on talking and wouldn't shut up. So, here he is, along with several of the other characters, but don't worry, Jasper takes the reins twice, so just hang in there for me. Thanks!
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Chapter 38 - Multiple Points of View
Jacob POV
"Howdy, everyone!" Bella cheerfully greeted the group. They all smiled back, enjoying her enthusiasm.
"Did you have fun playing with your puppy, Bellaboo?" Emmett asked, grinning widely.
"Yeah, he's awesome! He can run as fast as me and jump really high and far too!" Bella squealed happily. "You shoulda seen him, Brother Bear."
Everyone else smiled affectionately at her childish antics, while I sulked in my chair. I hated seeing Bella behaving like a little kid. She was always so mature, even back when we were little. This just didn't seem right, like it wasn't her. I've always adored her, ever since I can remember.
My twin sisters, Rebecca and Rachel, were older than her by a little over a year, but she was mature enough to interact with them on the same level, so they never noticed the difference. I was the tagalong who followed her around like a puppy dog. My sisters were annoyed and irritated that they were forced to keep an eye on me and bring me with them everywhere they went. Bella was so much nicer than they were. She never said mean things to make me cry, and she always tried to find ways to include me in their games and make-believe. I'll never forget her teaching me how to pack the sand correctly in my bucket to make decent sandcastles. She was so patient and encouraging, never losing her temper and yelling like my sisters usually did. Since I was a little over two years younger than her and a boy, she naturally gravitated more towards my sisters than me, obviously, but I was still thrilled for every bit of attention she deigned to grant me.
We finally started developing a friendship of our own the summer she was eleven. She started spending time with just me sometimes, allowing me to be something more than just the pesky little brother the girls were forced to endure. Rachel and Rebecca were crushing on boys, worrying about clothes and make-up, and gossiping about who had been kissed by whom. Bella wasn't interested in makeovers, gossip, or boys as more than friends, so she was content to spend more time doing normal stuff with me, like watching movies or playing on the beach.
Over the next two summers, our friendship crystallized and formed until she considered me her best friend. I was eleven and a half and head over heels for my beautiful, oblivious Bella. She was the star of all my fantasies and wet dreams, and I swore from the depths of my heart and soul, she'd be mine one day. I tried in my own subtle ways to let her know how I felt about her, without making her feel uncomfortable. My biggest fear was laying my heart out for her only to be rejected. I was sure she must be waiting for me, as I was for her. After all, she was so beautiful, she surely could have any guy she wanted at her beck and call. My sisters, at fifteen, were completely boy crazy, their whole lives revolving around trying to be noticed by whomever their current target was, yet at nearly fourteen, Bella didn't seem interested in or impressed by boys at all. This only served to convince me she was special, a diamond amongst cubic zirconia.
While she never responded to my flirting the way I'd hoped, I was able to console myself with the knowledge she didn't notice or respond to anybody else either. My father saw the way I looked at her and confided he believed she was a 'late bloomer' and would only open up her flower when the time was right, like a moonflower who spurned the sun and opened only in the light of the moon. He encouraged me to be patient and give her time to continue growing, promising the end result would be worth the wait.
I eagerly awaited her return the next summer, ready to feast my senses upon her beauty once again, but to my dismay, Charlie informed us he'd be taking her to Disneyland that year instead. I was distraught. Not only would I not get my fix, but what if she started to forget me? What if she forgot how much I loved her and gave her heart to another? My despair only grew as she didn't come the summer after that or the next after that either. Over three years passed with no Bella in sight. For the first time, I was beginning to doubt we were meant to be together. I foolishly thought she must have changed for the worse, that she would no longer be the woman of my dreams. I tried to forget about her, as she had seemingly forgotten about me, yet none of the girls at my school could measure up to the Bella of my memories.
When Charlie excitedly told us Bella was coming to stay until she graduated, living in Forks with him for a year and a half, my hope and faith were instantly renewed, as strong as ever. I berated myself for the doubts I'd carried, when fate and destiny were clearly delivering her back to me. I waited eagerly for my chance to renew our friendship, sure that when she saw how much I'd grown, how much more mature I had gotten while caring for my dad, she'd finally start thinking of me as more than a friend.
When I saw her on the beach with her friends, but still holding herself apart, I felt the butterflies in my abdomen. I could tell she didn't recognize me, which made me nervous, but once I introduced myself to her again, I saw her face light up, the pleasure and relief in her eyes when she heard my name and realized who I was. I saw the way she kept sneaking glances my way as her friends talked with some of the other La Push guys. Her eyes flashed to Sam when he made a comment about the Cullens, and I cringed internally, embarrassed by his hostility over what I believed to be superstitious nonsense. How foolish I was back then. Her eyes then studied me intensely, and I saw a flash of determination before she asked me if I wanted to take a walk.
I couldn't believe it was truly happening. I had dreamed of this moment for so long, the way she looked up at me through her lashes and widened her eyes. She was blatantly flirting, though she was tentative and unsure, like a bird just learning to fly, and I was unable to resist her charms. I could tell she hadn't practiced her moves in front of a mirror like my sisters had, but that made it all the sweeter, knowing I was the first recipient of her blossoming feminine wiles. I had watched the other boys, the Forks boys, try to catch her eye, showing off for her in hopes of gaining her favor. She'd been completely oblivious to their antics, hadn't noticed them at all. All her attention had been focused on me, wanting to be alone with me, preferring my company over all of theirs.
I was confident of our future together, our destiny, after that meeting. I was certain her behavior was a sign that my prayers were being granted, that she felt the same for me as I felt for her. Why else would she have singled me out, hung on every word of my scary stories, complimented me, and admitted she wanted me to come visit her in Forks?
I told my dad all about our time on the beach, how she'd flirted and gazed at me with single minded intensity, as if nothing else existed for her in that moment. I shared her request for me to come and visit her, begging him to put aside his anger at Charlie's condescending dismissal of his warnings and concerns about the Cullens. Of course, I never admitted the true content of my conversation with Bella, knowing he'd blow a gasket. I didn't believe the stories, but I knew Dad did. I knew if I told him how I'd broken the treaty by telling Bella the Cullens' secret, he'd be scared and furious and horrified. He might have even had a heart attack, fearing the Cullens might suddenly declare war on the tribe. At the time, I'd believed it more likely for the Martians to attack. I was so naïve.
I felt guilty and remorseful now, remembering how much grief I'd given Dad over his ranting about the Cullens, clueless about the danger, though Dad had told me those stories over and over again since I was a young child. I should have trusted him. Instead, I'd belittled him, if not to his face, then certainly in my mind and to my friends. If I'd have taken him seriously, perhaps I could have done something to prevent what happened to Bella.
I shook my head and sighed, remembering how shocked and disappointed I'd been to see my Bella in the car with another guy. I'd tried to hide my feelings, fishing for information, hoping he'd just given her a ride home because something was wrong with her truck. I could fix it for her and be her hero, showing her how much she needed me and how much I had to offer. I'd thought it supremely ironic to discover the interloper was none other than Edward Cullen, a boy who was supposed to be my natural enemy, at least according to the stories. I didn't like him, nor did I trust him, but that had nothing to do with his name or his family. I wouldn't have liked or trusted any guy going after my girl.
Once she'd finally confessed his name, I'd seen it in her eyes, the bright excitement of new infatuation. It was the same gleam, the same high, the same thrill I'd seen numerous times in my sisters' eyes when they first hooked the boys they wanted. It would always fade over time, as the boys could never live up to the ideal the girls had painted in their minds. Eventually, reality would set in, the couples would drift apart, and my sisters would be off searching for new Prince Charmings to brighten their lives.
I grimly swallowed my pride and promised myself to wait for her. I would simply bide my time until her new relationship came to its inevitable end, then I would swoop in silently and comfort her. I would be the rebound at first, but I would never let it stay there. I would offer her my shoulder for her tears and be the rock onto which she clings in a dark and dangerous world. Then, once I had her in my arms where she belonged, I'd never let her go. It was a good plan.
It seemed so obvious to me that Bella and Edward didn't belong together. I had no idea why their relationship lasted as long as it did. Even my dad was shocked their relationship continued for so long, and I could frequently hear him muttering disparaging remarks under his breath, foretelling doom. I usually rolled my eyes and dismissed the concerns Dad voiced, so when the call came informing us of Bella's death, it pushed me over the edge. I felt horribly guilty, kicking myself for not acting sooner, for not being there when she needed me. I drowned in remorse and self-recrimination.
Then I was quite suddenly dropped headfirst into the deep end of the supernatural world and made to swim. I was shocked to learn that all those silly little stories were neither silly nor stories. They were deadly serious. The pain of my first transformation into a wolf was trivial compared to the emotional pain of losing the love of my life. Upon the discovery that Bella was now a vampire, my mortal enemy, my whole soul was sorrowed. It was even worse than finding out she had died, because now I might one day be called upon to kill her myself. I couldn't even imagine a monster wearing her face, killing people and drinking their blood for sustenance. Not my gentle Bella. Except now she could never be mine. There was no middle ground for a vampire and a werewolf. I was reminded of the old adage: 'A bird may fall in love with a fish, but where would they live?' Since vampires are soulless creatures, I wouldn't even be reunited with her in the afterlife, if there is such a thing. The killing blow though, was the realization my sweet Bella was forever at the mercy of the monsters who'd obliterated her will to live and damned her to a horrifying existence.
It was Charlie who brought me back from the pit of despair. His strange take on vampires had encouraged me more than I would admit to anyone else. Then Dad had mated with Tanya, so I had been forced to reevaluate my beliefs about vampires. With Dad and Charlie changing, I had gotten to know the Denalis and realized many of my former prejudices were based upon misinformation. My hope raised even further upon seeing for myself how much Dad and Charlie retained of themselves, their memories, and their personalities. They had changed physically, but were still themselves on the inside. Suddenly, my dreams didn't seem entirely impossible anymore. If the Chief of the Quileute tribe could mate with a vampire, then maybe his son could too.
When I first saw Bella in the yard in front of the Cullens' house, I was overwhelmed by her ethereal beauty. Her gorgeous looks and curves were even more beautiful than before, something I hadn't even thought to be possible. She was the epitome of womanhood, a walking wet dream. I had skipped through the wedding and was already planning our honeymoon together when she finally spoke. At first, I saw her mouth moving, but I was too distracted by her rocking hot body and the honey sweet tone of her voice to pay any attention to her words. They say opposites attract, right? She's cold, I'm hot, together we should be just right, I'd thought to myself.
My brain finally caught up with the rest of the world and began processing her words and behavior. I knew instantly something was wrong. The possibility of permanent brain damage absolutely horrified me. It was even worse than all the other shocks I'd gotten regarding my girl. The thought of that sexy body being forever wasted by the mind of a child was unfathomable. The universe couldn't possibly be that cruel, could it? I'll never be able to touch her the way I want, if she's now retarded. Charlie would never condone it, would consider it statutory rape, would kill me for taking advantage of her, if Bella is too emotionally immature to make the decision to be in a sexually intimate relationship.
The news she was indeed growing up and maturing was such a relief, I nearly cheered. It helped keep me from slipping back into my pit of despair. I could certainly wait a few more weeks for her to reach an appropriate mental age, before making my move on her. In the meantime, I can use her 'puppy love' to get her comfortable with me in my wolf form. I'd be able to take her out in the woods alone for hours at a time, like Chief just did. Everyone would get used to us being away, playing innocently together. Then, as soon as she was receptive to my advances, I'd make my move, far from the disapproving eyes and untimely interruptions of the others. This time, I wouldn't hold back. I was determined to make her mine. I simply couldn't afford to lose her again.
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Jasper POV
I glared at the mutt who dared to feel lustful and possessive over my mate. She is MINE. Major growled in my head, wanting desperately to remove the boy's head from his shoulders and bathe in his blood. Besides, he's a wolf and she's a vampire. Didn't he get the fucking memo? Vampires and wolves kill each other, not fuck each other.
The old slogan, 'Make love, not war' flashed through my brain. Yeah, the Major never liked that stupid slogan. He figured it was created by the pansies who were too cowardly to risk their lives in battle and stayed home to romance all the lonely girls while the real men were away at war.
Vampires and wolves are like peanut butter and chicken livers. They seriously don't go together, should be kept far away from each other. Bella and I, on the other hand were like peanut and jelly. No, even better than that. Peanut butter and chocolate. Or maybe chocolate and raspberry. Strawberries and whip cream. I felt like licking my lips and suddenly furrowed my brow. Why the fuck am I making human food references? All that stuff tastes like shit to me. I've never even tasted chocolate. Though the moans human Bella had uttered whenever she ate the confections out of the golden Godiva box Esme used to buy for her always made me wish I could. I figured it had to be something special if shy little Bella would moan out loud like a porno star at the taste of them. Of course, if she had any idea how much more expensive that was than a Hershey bar, she'd have refused to eat them. Esme used to pretend they were a gift from one of Carlisle's well-meaning patients, so Bella wouldn't worry about the cost. Instead, she felt obligated not to let it go to waste. Never underestimate Esme.
Forget the food references. Bella and I go together like a pair of shoes, the perfect match, meant to always be side by side. A wolf and a vampire would be like a left shoe and a hat. Who the hell would match those two things together? Aw, shit. Now I'm making clothing references. Fucking Alice. Will I never be rid of her mindfuckery?
Damn. I know I can do better than that. Bella and I are like a saber and its sheath, I thought, picturing my Confederate saber sliding into its scabbard. Shit! I forgot the sexual connotations of that particular pairing. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Soon enough our mate will be ready for us to guide our sword into her sheath, to impale her, to thrust our sword repeatedly into the depths of her core, until she is screaming our name in ecstasy, Major purred. I mentally groaned. Time to shift gears. I know! Bella and I are like a soldier and his gun, each relatively useless without the other. Satisfied with this simile, having personally known quite a few soldiers in my human life who'd taken much better care of their guns than their women, I looked up, seeing the mutt's eyes glued to my mate.
Suddenly, I had a plan. I would indeed teach this boy a lesson, but I'd be a lot more subtle about it than simply ripping off body parts. Every time he looked at my Bella with lust, I sent him a shot of nausea and disgust. I started out slowly and gradually ramped it up so he wouldn't suspect he was being manipulated. My studies into psychology had shown me that nausea was one of the most effective techniques for behavioral training, though it was difficult for therapists to take advantage of because they couldn't reproduce it effectively. It was a natural protection for the body, a warning system so the body wouldn't ingest things or do things that made it sick. The body would work to avoid anything that triggered that biological stimuli. If I could keep it up, he would eventually start avoiding those thoughts, associating them with the negative feelings of nausea and disgust, rather than the positive feelings of desire and arousal. Additionally, his own body would begin working against him, causing those negative reactions of its own accord. Until his body began responding that way without my help, I wouldn't allow him anywhere near my mate unless they were fully chaperoned. I could feel his overwhelming determination to claim her, to mark my mate as his own. There's no way in hell that would be happening.
Keeping a watchful portion of my brain concentrated on Jacob, I nevertheless was able to enjoy watching my mate interact with our family. She was so happy, it warmed my heart. I always wanted to see those kinds of smiles lighting up her face.
She pranced hesitantly over to Charlie, a feeling of shyness washing over her. "Hi, Dad," she murmured quietly, studying him covertly for his reaction. I felt Carlisle's pang of sadness and fear of losing her when she addressed Charlie that way. Charlie, on the other hand, felt like he'd just been granted his heart's desire.
"Hey, Bells," he responded awkwardly, giving a sort of half wave before allowing his hand to fall back to his lap. His feelings were very clear and strong to me, but apparently becoming a vampire hadn't enhanced his ability to show those emotions to others.
"Do you remember me?" she asked curiously, moving a little closer.
He smiled widely. "Of course I do! The day you were born was the best day of my life, and I treasured every moment we ever had together. I've forgotten a lot of things about my human life, but I could never forget you."
She had grinned at first, but I felt her spike of guilt at the end. "Oh, sorry," she mumbled, looking down at the carpet and rubbing her toe into the rug. She bit her lip and held her hands behind her back, all surefire signs of her discomfort.
Charlie frowned in concern. "Why are you apologizing?"
She looked back up at him, her eyes shining with venom tears. "For forgetting you."
"You don't remember anything, at all?" Charlie sighed in dismay. I grimaced. Way to make her feel better, Charlie, I thought angrily. How is that supposed to help?
Bella shook her head and looked away, ducking her head in shame. I couldn't let her continue to feel that way, so I jumped into their conversation. "That's not really true, Bella. I know you don't remember much of anything concrete about your human life, but you didn't forget entirely. Remember how you felt when Rose and Esme showed you the pictures and told you the stories they knew to go along with them? You remembered your dad in your heart, where it matters most. Whenever you looked at his face in those pictures or heard someone talk about him, you always felt love and affection, right?"
She lifted her head, meeting my eyes, and nodded. "Yes, that's right. We talked about it. You explained to me why I felt the way I did about the people in the pictures." She smiled at me, her shame gone, and her happiness coming back to the forefront.
"Really? That's wonderful, Bells!" Charlie exclaimed, relieved and excited. "Jasper's right. Even though your mind forgot, your heart remembered, and that's all that really matters anyway - whether or not you occupy a place in a person's heart."
He grasped her hands in his and smiled up at her. She smiled back, feeling proud of herself now. I smiled too, happy she was so easily pleased and placated. My mate was such a loving individual.
"Hey, would you like to look through your picture album with me? I bet I have a lot more stories to tell than Rose and Esme, at least about the younger ones," Charlie suggested.
"Sure!" Bella eagerly agreed, moving to sit next to him. I could feel Esme's delight and realized she wanted to hear the stories of Bella's childhood just as much as Bella did. She raced to get the photo album out of it's place of honor and presented it to Charlie with a soft smile. He sent her a grateful look in return.
"May I join you?" Esme asked politely, her hopeful emotions written all over her face.
Charlie chuckled and moved over on the couch to make room for Esme on the other side. Rose and Charlotte moved to stand behind them, wanting to be a part of the moment as well, without intruding on Charlie's bonding time with his daughter. Billy and Jake moved over and sat on the coffee table in front of them, wanting to add in their own anecdotes and viewpoints along with Charlie's. Tanya sat on the floor, in between Billy's legs, while Chief settled down beside her, laying his big white head in her lap. Billy's fingers mindlessly ran through Tanya's strawberry blond locks, while her fingers were casually running through Chief's fur, her nails scratching against his skin in just the right way. They were a beautiful picture of contentment, with emotions to match.
Eleazar, Carmen, and Kate joined Carlisle on the other couch. I stayed where I was, situated halfway between the two groups, able to participate in either conversation and keep a close eye on my mate as well. Peter leaned against the armrest of my chair, on the side closest to Carlisle.
Eleazar glared at Carlisle sternly. "Did you think I wouldn't notice, Carlisle? Are you still trying to keep secrets from us?" His emotions were disappointed and angry, with hints of betrayal, showing he fully believed his accusations.
Carlisle stared back at him in sincere surprise. "Notice what, Eleazar? I have no idea what you mean. We aren't keeping any other secrets."
Eleazar studied him skeptically. "So why didn't you mention Bella's gift, hmm?"
Carlisle and I both stared at him in shock, which I may have accidentally projected to the rest of their little group as well. "Bella has a gift?" Carlisle and I both hissed quietly at the same time.
"You didn't know?" Eleazar asked in surprise, followed by understanding. "Yes, well, I suppose that's understandable to some extent, considering it's not an active gift, and Edward was banished. She's a shield, a mental shield. She can block mental gifts, like Edward's mind reading."
"Is that why Edward couldn't read her?" Carlisle asked in amazement. "We never thought of that. She was such a strange human, we just assumed her brain didn't work the same way as everybody else's. It seemed reasonable at the time, considering the way she was so comfortable snuggling up with vampires on a daily basis." He shrugged sheepishly. "Besides, it seemed fitting for Edward's mate to be immune to his gift."
I repressed the growl that instinctively rose up at the mention of Bella being Edward's mate. Not anymore! She's mine! Thank heavens he never claimed her or marked her as his, or the Major would feel the need to stake his claim every time Edward's name was mentioned. Even now, I had to fight to control my instincts begging me to grab her and run, especially with the wolf boy vying for my mate's attention every chance he got.
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Charlie POV
I was happy as a clam with my little girl seated on the couch beside me, surrounded by our friends and family. I flipped slowly through Bella's old picture album from her early years, happily sharing all the memories the pictures conjured. I could feel my bond with my daughter strengthening with each story I told reflecting my love for her and joy with having her in my life. I noticed the womenfolk were bonding with me as well, warmed by my stories of Bella's childhood. We were becoming a family, loyal and faithful to one another, all thanks to my beautiful little angel.
She'd always been able to bring people together, even as a human. There was something about her that drew people to her, wanting to protect her and belong to her in some way. When she was a tot, she'd had all the police in my precinct wrapped around her little finger, bending over backward to make her smile. Even those under arrest or being questioned hadn't dared to be rude or curse within her hearing after one glance into her innocent, trusting brown eyes.
My heart was full to bursting with love. Hearing about her death had brought on the darkest days of my life. I don't know how I even managed to function enough to keep from killing myself in my grief. Finding out she was alive was like fresh air and sunshine to a man who'd been buried alive and dug his way through six feet of dirt up to the surface. I didn't care she was a vampire. She was walking, talking, loving, existing. It was enough for me. I would have gladly given her my own blood if she'd needed it. I would have done anything for her and still would. She was the best part of me, and without her, I was lost, a mere shell of myself. No parent should ever have to outlive their own child. That had to be some of the worst emotional pain imaginable.
Rose didn't understand how I could want this life, but only because she'd never had the opportunity to have a child of her own. A parent's love of his child was just as strong as one's love for his mate, though the bonds were different. Being there for Bella granted me all the purpose I needed to be happy in my new life. Even if it took me a thousand years to find my own mate, I would never regret the opportunity to spend this time with my daughter. After all, I had been a bachelor since Renee divorced me, being the constant fellow I was. I was used to living without female companionship.
That thought led to the recollection of what had happened when we returned from our first hunt, after we left Tanya and Billy to 'get to know one another better'. While part of me was busy telling Bella everything I remembered about her childhood, another part of me was lost in a more recent memory.
I kept running back to the house, grinning widely at my best friend's new found happiness. Not only had his health and strength been restored, but he'd found love again as well and got to keep his son forever too. I couldn't have asked for more for him, except to keep his other children too. The smile on his face and the light in his eyes hadn't been in evidence for more than a decade. Lost in thought, I'd been startled when Kate had suddenly grabbed my arm and veered off to the side.
Instinctively, I had used my gift to protect myself without even realizing it, compelling her to confess her motives for waylaying me. She'd spit out the words crudely, in response to the compulsion, "I want to fuck you!"
She'd been terribly embarrassed about simply blurting it out like that, instead of in the careful way she'd rehearsed, and I'd been equally embarrassed, not used to receiving blatant propositions from beautiful women.
"I'm sorry," she apologized, pulling away from me and taking a few steps away, turning her body to the side. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded."
I knew I'd be blushing if I could, but that was one of the advantages of this new body, it wouldn't give away my discomfort quite as easily as the old one. "No problem. I was startled and instinctively used my gift. It does away with a lot of the filters that exist for the sake of propriety and social niceties," I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck.
She turned back to me with a smile. "Let's try this again, shall we?"
I shrugged, hoping she'd prefer to drop the subject.
"Look, I'm really happy for Tanya, finding her mate finally after all these years. Irina just found hers a few months ago too. In some ways, it has renewed my faith and hope for finding my own mate. Yet, I've found that hope has only made the waiting harder. Now that both my sisters are mated, I'm the last one left. I have nobody to share my anxiety, longing, and brief periods of envy, to talk me down, reassure me, and encourage me to keep hoping for the best. I figured now that we have an unmated male and an unmated female in our coven, well, the normal vampire thing is for us to become companions until either of us meets our mates. It's really hard to be surrounded by happy couples and be all alone. So, I thought, if you were amenable, we could become a couple for the time being, meet each other's needs, you know, until we found our other halves," Kate suggested. "What do you think?"
I stared at her in shock, not expecting this at all, though I could tell she'd put a great deal of thought into this before now, likely while I was still changing. I sighed, not wanting to hurt this wonderful woman, but knowing I couldn't be what she wanted. "Oh, Kate, I would be honored to be your mate, but I can't enter into a relationship knowing it will inevitably end one day. When my wife divorced me, I never really recovered. I've never been with anybody but her. When I give myself to someone, I give every part of myself, love with my whole heart. It would devastate me to be with you and then you later leave me for someone else. I'm sorry, Kate. If you were mine forever, I would consider myself blessed, but I just can't do the whole casual friends with benefits kind of thing. Please understand. You're a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate woman who deserves only the very best, and your mate will a very lucky man. I just couldn't be content to only receive a part of you and later have to watch you give your whole heart to another man. It would break my heart."
She smiled sadly at me and patted my cheek gently. "Thanks, Charlie. You're so sweet. That's got to be the nicest rejection I've ever received. I can't even resent you for it."
"Is this going to be awkward between us now?" I asked with concern.
She shook off her sadness and gave me a real smile this time. "Nah, you're a good man and a great friend. I won't cause any problems. It was worth a try, right?"
"Sure," I chuckled. "I mean, if I wasn't such a weirdo, I'd jump at the chance. Any normal man would. I think it's the curse of my last name. You know, swans mate for life. Thank goodness my last name wasn't Lemming, or I'd have likely followed my daughter right off the cliff, except without any vampires waiting in the wings to put me back together again."
She snorted with amusement. "Or it could have been Cuckoo."
I laughed. "Thanks. Don't forget the Dodo."
She laughed too and the last of the tension between us disappeared.
Ever since then, the relationship between us had been strictly platonic, like one of brother and sister, to my immense relief. I never wanted to hurt her, but I couldn't play those kinds of games. I'd never been able to separate lust from love in my mind and heart.
After all, my mother had drilled it into my head, from the time I could talk, to be faithful to my wife, to never play the field, sow my oats, think with the wrong head, or cheat on the mother of my child. My promise to her on her deathbed was to never be intimate with a woman I wouldn't want to bear my child and to whom I couldn't give my whole heart and soul. My father had died in the line of duty, fighting for our country, but I had a feeling he'd hurt my mother deeply with infidelity before his passing. I had vowed to myself to never hurt a woman the way he'd done to her, which had led to my long stretch of celibacy after my divorce.
I hadn't met another woman to whom I felt I could trust my whole heart and soul, after having my daughter taken away from me. Not being able to be a part of Bella's life as she grew had broken me. Two weeks a year wasn't nearly enough time to develop the relationship I had wanted with the apple of my eye. I had been beyond thrilled when she called and asked to live with me for the remainder of her high school years. At last I would have the opportunity to be a full-time father. Better late than never, I had consoled myself.
Unfortunately, Edward Cullen had come along and consumed all her time and attention, causing her to lie and keep secrets from me. With the kind of secrecy he required, she and I never had the chance to develop our own relationship. She always had to guard her words, trying not to let anything slip, not alert me to anything unusual. I never trusted that boy, and now I know why. It wasn't just the fact he was a vampire, he wasn't trustworthy regardless. I'm glad that asshole is no longer part of her life.
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Kate POV
I joined the group including Carlisle, rather than the group including Charlie, on purpose. I was happy to see the joy on Charlie's face as he bonded with his daughter and realized for the first time that he was complete enough just having her. Sure, it wasn't the same as a mate, but the bond was strong enough and pure enough to grant a level of contentment usually only found with one's mate. Of course, parents and children were rarely ever changed together, so that type of bond was practically unheard of with our kind. That just left me with no special bond to fill the void inside, to take away the pain of the emptiness.
Except that Jasper was all alone now. I wasn't sure if he was still 'with' Alice or not, but the fact that he hadn't left with her when she was banished was a distinct indicator of trouble in paradise. They couldn't be true mates, or he never would have let her go off without him. They wouldn't be able to handle the pain of separation for such an extended period of time. Thus, they must have only been companions from the start and not mates like we had all thought. With her gone for the time being, they were clearly undergoing a deliberate separation, which meant he was now fair game. Charlie might not be interested in casual sex, but I knew the Major had no such qualms. That man was a walking orgasm waiting to happen.
I was curious as to why he chose to isolate himself between the two groups. He was part of both and belonged to neither. Is that how he sees himself now? As having a divided loyalty? He had brought Peter and Charlotte to stay with him, the members of the Whitlock Coven, loyal only to him above all others. Is he planning to break away from the Cullens? Is that the significance of the way he's perched off to the side, patiently observing, with his right hand man ironically perched at his right hand, right now? He was a coven leader in his own right, choosing to submit to Carlisle for Alice's sake.
With Alice gone, will he continue to be content accepting a subservient role? Or will he finally take charge of his own coven and make his own way in this life, answerable to no one? Will he even continue with the 'vegetarian' diet or start feeding off humans again? One thing I did know is that I wanted a piece of him before he left. I wouldn't mind going with him either, if he'd have me.
Alice had frequently boasted of his bedroom talents over the years during 'girl time', making the rest of us jealous. Not only did he have skills, but his gift added an extra component that couldn't be topped or duplicated by anyone else. I'd been wanting to feel that for myself for the past fifty years, but Alice had never been willing to share. Bitch. I hadn't minded when I thought he was her mate, because all vampires are highly possessive of their mates, but now that I know they were just companions . . . . I shook my head. That bitch was just being selfish. She could have shared the pleasure. He wasn't really hers. We all could have had a taste of heaven. But no, she just had to keep it all to herself.
I wouldn't be so greedy. As long as he kept coming back to my bed, I wouldn't mind if he wanted to invite others to join us there. I was willing to share the love. It's not like I hadn't done it before. We sisters had never been afraid to share, back before they found their mates. I'm sure Jasper wouldn't mind learning a few new tricks as well. After all, with him, the pleasure was always mutual.
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Bella POV
I was happy to get to know my dad again, and I loved hearing all the stories he told me about myself when I was younger. It was wonderful being surrounded by the love and happiness of my family around me. Dad's friend Billy told me fun stories too, but his son Jake made me uncomfortable. I wasn't sure why, since there was nothing wrong with the words he spoke. There was just something in his eyes when he looked at me, in his tone when he spoke to me. I couldn't put my finger on it. It wasn't something I could describe to anyone else. It just didn't feel right. All I knew for sure was that I didn't want to ever be left alone with him. He gave me the creeps.
Suddenly, something new popped up in my head as my dad began a new story. It was just a snapshot, grainy, fuzzy, slightly out of focus. The colors were off and there wasn't any sound. It even took me a moment to decipher what it was, what the scene depicted.
I was in a swing, swinging forward, I was wearing torn jeans and a grubby t-shirt. My shoes had clearly seen better days, as the sole was peeling apart at the toes and was rubbed bare at the heels. The laces were broken and knotted. My feet were stretched out in front of me, aiming right toward my father's chest. He was standing there in front of me, young like he was in the pictures, with a wide grin on his face and his arms up in a gesture of surrender. His eyes were alight with happiness and love as they gazed adoringly down at me. I couldn't see myself, but I knew I was laughing. The sun was shining in the bright blue sky, dotted with fluffy white clouds - it was a beautiful summer day.
"I remembered!" I shrieked in excitement, startling everyone. Usually I would have laughed to see vampires jump like that, but at the moment, I was way too excited. I quickly described the scene that I saw in my mind and had it confirmed that human memories often appeared the way this one had. They didn't have the clarity and color of perfect vampire memories.
I was on top of the world, having gotten at least one human memory back, having one tiny piece of my past no longer forgotten. I went back to listening to the stories about me with even more enthusiasm than I had before. Perhaps I could recover more pieces of my past given time. Even if I didn't, it was enough to have that one. I smiled widely at my Jasper, wanting to share my overwhelmingly positive emotions with him. He winked and grinned back at me, letting me know he got them. Giggling and hugging myself, I snuggled a little closer to Charlie, giving him my full attention as he described our trips to the park near his house in Forks.
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Carlisle POV
My daughter. So happy right now, with her biological father telling her anecdotes of her human life, giving her insight into her path none of the rest of us could provide. It hurts to see her leaning into him, though I only want what's best for her. I'm glad for her sake that he's here and doing this for her. For my sake, I wish he'd just left well enough alone and stayed in Forks where he belonged.
I feel guilty for wishing that though. I have other children, but he does not. I certainly can't begrudge him the desire to be part of her life. I would never try to keep her from him. He has every right to . . . to step in and be her father . . . I guess. I just feel like I'm losing her. Will there be room in her heart for both of us, or will I fall by the wayside?
It seemed so much simpler yesterday. He was her human father. He had his chance for all her human years. He belonged in the human world. She was a vampire now, and I was her vampire father. I've raised her from the moment she awoke to her new life. I've only had her for a few weeks, I know, but there were years worth of growth packed into those weeks, about two years per week really. She was mine, my daughter. Not his any longer. His daughter was dead, at least as far as he knew. Now, everything has changed. With him here now, vampire just like her, where does that leave me? How do I fit into her life, her family, her world?
I sighed, knowing only time would tell. At least her mother is still human, so Esme still has pride of place in her life. I'd hate to have to deal with the aftermath if Esme were to ever lose her place in Bella's heart. I thought about how ironic my situation was, like an adoptive father whose child is suddenly confronted with her biological parents. I didn't love her any less than I did before, and I still considered her my daughter, the child of my heart. I just didn't know if her feelings had changed. Now that she had 'Dad' would I be 'Daddy' anymore?
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Jasper POV
Poor Carlisle was feeling so melancholy, watching Bella with Charlie, while Charlie was on top of the world. I knew Bella still loved him just as much as she did before, so I wasn't too worried. Soon enough she would reassure him of his importance in her life, and he could get over his longing and jealousy. My Bella had the biggest heart of anyone I'd ever met. She definitely could have been Carlisle's and Esme's daughter, if such a thing was possible, with all the love and compassion she freely gave to others. She certainly took after them in all the best ways.
I was glad when Eleazar distracted Carlisle from his inner worries, talking about ways to test Bella's shield and help her to project it enough to cover and protect others as well. Carlisle was intrigued at the idea and made several useful suggestions. Kate eagerly joined in the discussion, offering her services.
I wasn't thrilled with the idea of her testing out her gift on Bella to see if she was immune. If she wasn't, then Kate would hurt her. Then I'd have to hurt Kate. The Denalis would probably retaliate in defense of their family member, which would bring my family into the battle to defend me. This was a bad idea. I could easily see it escalating into a disaster of epic proportions.
Just as I was about to mention my concerns, I heard Peter gasp. I looked up at him to see worry in his eyes. He opened his mouth to warn me of whatever his gift had just told him, and in that moment of distraction, Kate latched onto me, right after saying, "Jasper and I can work together as a team, right Jazz?" I knew in that instant this was what he was trying to warn me about. Before I even had time to react, to push her away, all hell broke loose.
Kate had instantly instinctively backed up out of harms way upon sensing the rapid movement of another vampire into her space, which is all that saved her from losing a body part in the first few milliseconds. Bella was in her face, snapping her teeth wildly, attempting to separate Kate's hands from her body for daring to touch me in a possessive way. I realized belatedly we must have forgotten to inform the Denalis that Bella and I are true mates, even though I haven't physically claimed her yet. Thinking I was still available, Kate had unintentionally broken one of the cardinal vampire rules. Never lay claim to another vampire's mate if you value your existence. Oops.
Bella was in all her newborn glory, hissing and growling, spitting and snapping, straddling my lap in a crouch, her feet digging into the cushion on either side of my thighs. Her back was to my front, her muscles tensed to spring. Her hands were curled into claws, and her eyes were pitch black and wild. She was magnificent, feral, defending my honor. I was proud and aroused, a natural response for a vampire in this type of situation. Ask any male vampire. There's nothing sexier than watching your mate publicly defending her claim on you against other females. I had to crush that response down though, unable to act on it just yet.
"MY JASPER! NO TOUCHING!" she roared at Kate, shaking the windows with the force of her bellows. Poor Kate was shellshocked, staring wide eyed at the raving newborn in front of her, knowing one false move could easily result in her decapitation.
"Punish her, Daddy!" Bella demanded fiercely, pointing at Kate but speaking directly to Carlisle. "Punish her for trying to steal MY Jasper!"
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AN: Uh, oh. Somebody's in trouble . . .