a/n: just for the record these aren't chronological. i'l give you dates if necessary! Also, if you read my story Where Are You, some of the things in these one shots might make more sense. You don't need to read the sequel (but you should, cuz it's really good ;) because all the one shots take place in the two ish years that Kaitlin lived with Emily.

That's Where I Was

December 15th- The First Anniversary of My Family's Death

It had been one year. One year since my world ended. One year since my family was taken away from me.

In case you don't understand what's going on, what I was going through, well, let me put it in perspective for you: My mom, my dad and my little brother were murdered by a serial killer the day before my birthday. I was stabbed and I was put in a hospital for a week while my stomach healed. I was told I didn't have any family to take me in. I was told I would go into foster care. Until, Emily decided to take me in, that is, which is a whole different story.

Regardless of how kind every one was, I was sad. I knew I wasn't really alone, but it sure felt like I was. Emily was taking such good care of me. So was Derek, so was JJ, so was the rest of the team, but it still didn't feel real. It felt like I was having a nightmare, and I'd wake up and my dad would be on a business call, and my mom would be bluetoothing a client while cooking dinner, and Jason would be playing MarioCart.

I'd wake up from sleeping, just to see that I was still in Emily's house, and the night mare hadn't ended. It never would.

Anyway, Dec. 15th, one year earlier, my parents and brother had been stabbed to death while they were waiting for me to get home from school. I was stabbed as well, but I didn't die. Today was the anniversary of there death, the day before my birthday.

I woke up at 3 o'clock in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I was a wreck. Since I knew there was no chance of getting back to sleep, I needed comfort. Not from Emily, or Derek, or JJ, or Garcia, or Rossi, or Reid, or even Hotch. I slipped on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and slid quietly out the door, down the stairs, out the front door and onto the street without being detected by Emily. I walked on the sidewalk down the street with a place in my mind.

As I walked, I thought. I thought about how Emily and I were very much alike, we could, to a certain point, take the saddest, scariest, worst emotions or problems we had, put them in a box and move them to the very back of our minds. We would build a wall around the box, and then it was done. We didn't need to talk about it. We were fine. But like I said, to a certain point. I guess I had reached my breaking point, because that first year, I had cried more than ever. I guess, a lot of scary things happened after my family's death. Emily and I threatened, hit by a truck, that was a blast, believe me, JJ got kidnapped, beaten and raped, while we could only watch, I took her place, got beaten and raped, and then narrowly escaped being blown up. Like i said, lots had happened. But this was one of the scariest things. Going back.

I walked up the driveway of my old house. I stood at the end and stared at it's darkness, at it's emptiness, and I shuddered.

"Why?" I asked myself out loud. A boy, on a bike, delivering papers, stopped at the driveway.

"Wicked sad, what happened here," He said.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, not turning around to look at him. He had no idea.

"Yeah, the whole family, the mom, dad, brother and sister were stabbed, but uh, i'm pretty sure the girl survived. She was taken in by an FBI agent, I guess," He said shrugging, "She was interviewed on the news last year, I watched. Depressing," He said nodding.

"Oh…" I said quietly.

"Yeah, I think today is the anniversary of their death," He said, shrugging again. A tear rolled down my face. I didn't bother to wipe it. He couldn't see anyways. I didn't respond, so there was an awkward silence.

"Yeah, well anyways, I gotta go, lots of papers to deliver. Have a good one," He said and took off on his bike.

"Yeah…you too," I said, but it seemed so distant. I looked at the SOLD sign on the door. I had no idea who had bought it, but the house was deserted. The bank auctioned it off or something, and gave me the money, which I put away for college.

I looked at the house one more time, at which point I realized I was crying, yet again. I wiped my eyes and walked away. I would never ever go back. I continued to walk. This time to a different destination.

.oOo.

8am

"Derek!" Emily frantically exclaimed into the phone.

"What, Emily? What's going on?" He asked.

"Kaitlin. She's gone. I woke up and she was gone," Emily said.

"Gone? Call… JJ have her have the rest of the team meet us at the BAU," Derek commanded.

"Okay," Emily began. Derek hung up and dialed Hotch.

"Hotch," Derek said.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Kaitlin, she's missing. Have you seen her?" Derek asked.

"Missing? No, I haven't. You sure?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah. We're all gonna meet at the BAU," Derek said.

"Alright, I'll be right there," Hotch said and hung up.

"JJ," Emily said desperately.

"Em, what's the matter?" JJ asked immediately sensing distress.

"Kaitlin. She's gone. I woke up and she wasn't here. I don't know where she went," Emily confessed.

"Today is…" JJ's voice trailed away.

"Yeah I know…" Emily said, "But she didn't leave a note or anything."

"And after what happened last year," JJ said referring to her own kidnapping

"Yeah, exactly," Emily said.

"BAU?" JJ asked.

"Yeah can you call the others?" Emily said.

"Yes and I"ll be right over," JJ said and hung up.

I sat down at a bench in front of three headstones. Each was engraved. The first with my mother's name, and date of birth, and date of death…the next with my father's name…and the same information…and the final one, with my brother's name and the same information. I ran my finger over his name, and sat back in the seat.

"Why'd this have to happen to us, mom?" I asked, talking to my mom's stone.

"Why'd this have to happen to you all?" I asked directing that to my dad's.

"You were so young, Jason. It was not your time," I said quietly to Jason's.

The team gathered in the conference room.

"So you woke up at-" Derek began.

"Quarter of 8," Emily said.

"And she was gone?" JJ asked.

"Yeah. Gone with out a note or anything. She left her cell phone at home, too," Emily said.

"Isn't today the anniversary of her family's murders?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah…" Emily said sadly.

"I know where she'll be. Stay here, I'll call you when I find her," Hotch said and he took off. THey looked at him confused. Emily was scared for Kaitlin, though. Derek wrapped her in a warm embrace, kissing her forehead, assuring her that it would be okay.

"You had a lot of people worried, Kaitlin," A voice said walking up behind me. I was startled. I turned and saw Hotch walking towards me.

"How…how did you know I would be here?" I asked.

"Because this is where I was, when my wife was killed," Hotch said sadly.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. Hotch sat down next to me.

"I'd sit here before work, after work, just hoping she'd come back," Hotch explained.

"That's how I feel, too…except I know they aren't coming back," I confessed.

"It hurts…I know…but it get's better. Trust me," Hotch said. He put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. He held me in a hug as I rested in his arms and thought about his words. After a few moments I pulled away.

"Alright, kiddo, we better get back. Emily was freaking out," Hotch said grinning.

"Thanks…thanks a lot, Hotch," I said quietly. He hugged me again and we stood up and walked away together. It was getting better already.