Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do make money.
Incomplete
She didn't tell anyone. Not even Ron.
But she sat there in the courtroom hanging onto every pause, image, word, sentence; watching, waiting for a sign, a clue as to why.
Why her?
Why that night?
Why? Why? Why?
However, with every second, minute, hour, day that passed in the courtroom she couldn't find an answer, let alone the answer.
She didn't think she was asking for all that much.
As her searching became more desperate, she convinced herself that a simple 'because' would even suffice. At least it was an answer, not a great one, or a good or, or even and adequate one but it was one – even if it suited more for a child who broke their sibling's toy than for a young man's vocalized reasons for why he would attack and almost kill a classmate.
Pansy would close her eyes and sigh as the trial would switch from witness to witness, expert to expert while the disappointment and incompleteness wheeling inside her kept growing and growing in her mind. And as the those feelings manifested, she kept trying to convince herself that she didn't need an answer; that she almost didn't have a right to an answer since in a twisted way through her magic she had brought this on herself. But even the self-deprecation would remind her that though it may have been her fault, she did still need to hear why he chose to do what he did; why did he choose her; choose that night; and on that night, why did he chose to almost kill her.
Even more than that her mind, spirit and soul needed to know why he used an heir charm? Why if he tried to kill her the first time, why did he plan to bond her to him through a child the second and the third?
If she wasn't good enough to live in September, then why was she good enough to marry and carry his child by November?
But as the trial stretched into a third day, Pansy was no closer to an answer to her repeated whys then she was the day she work up in the infirmary with Ron by her side.