Chapter 9

When the Levee Breaks

It had taken more work that Dean could ever have imagined getting his brother out of the hospital. The doctors and shrinks had wanted to keep Sam where he was while he dealt with the drug detox, but Dean knew that they couldn't help Sam.

The drive back to Sioux Falls was long, even with Dean pushing the speed limits as far as he possibly could.

Once back at Bobby's house, Dean and Bobby had put Sam in the panic room which had been cleared out except for a cot, a bucket, and a small table with some water.

Sam was still out of it as he lay on the cot and as Bobby closed the heavy iron door, he looked at Dean, his eyes full of concern. "What'd the docs drug him with?"

"I don't even remember," Dean replied, wearily. Between the time he'd spent driving and waiting outside Sam's hospital room, he couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten or slept.

As if reading the younger man's mind, Bobby put a hand on Dean's shoulder and led him upstairs to the kitchen. "Take a seat, son."

Dean didn't even argue as he did as told. He didn't say a word as Bobby dished up some leftover Chinese and pizza, putting the plate down on the table. Dean didn't even fight when Bobby told him to eat up while he took something over to Fiona who was camped out on the couch, her knee propped up.

Back at the hospital, one of the shrinks had given Dean a whole stack of information on what to do while Sam detoxed. In his bag in the trunk of the Impala, there was a whole mess of drugs for Sam, including stuff to combat nausea, non-narcotic pain killers, and even a vial of a heavy-duty sedative. Not to mention the IV set-up, just in case.

Right now, Sam was still out of it, but Dean knew that wouldn't last for long. Another couple hours at most, and then Sam would start wondering what was going on.

Maybe Bobby knew of some supernatural cure for long-term poisoning. It might not work for demon blood addiction, but Dean had to try.

As Dean cleaned his plate and went for one of the beers in the fridge. Leaning against the counter, he wondered how he could have let things get this bad. He knew that he was partly to blame. Ever since he got out of Hell, Dean knew he'd been different. His time in the Pit had made him see things in an entirely different light. And the demons? Sure, they were evil and deserved to be ganked, but with all that they'd been through down in the basement, it was easy to see how souls could get twisted.

"I screwed up," Dean muttered to himself as he sat back down at the table. He didn't care about the tears, or that he felt like his world was being ripped apart. Sam lying to him was one thing, but Fiona? They'd always told each other everything. "It's all my fault," he whispered, closing his eyes, praying for forgiveness.

"No, it's not."

Looking up, Dean wiped his eyes as Fiona slowly sat down, an arm around her injured ribs. "How do you know? You haven't been here."

"That's why it's more my fault than yours, Dean," Fiona admitted, as she stole a drink of Dean's beer. After playing with the bottle for a second, she slid it back to him and leaned back in her chair. "When… When you, Sam, John, and my Dad headed to Salvation, Iowa, Dad called me."

"He wanted you to come with," Dean said, picking up the story. "You refused, shipped out a couple days later."

Fiona was about to ask how he knew that, but then she remembered Chuck Shurley's books. "Let me guess: Chuck wrote about that?"

Dean nodded, silently. Finishing his beer, he said, "I should have been watching out for Sammy better."

Fiona didn't say anything as she slowly limped over to the fridge retrieving two more beers. As she sat down, she handed one to Dean before she said, "I didn't tell you about Adam because it was something you and Sam needed to find out on your own. It's your family and I thought it was better that way. I never thought that we'd run into ghouls again."

"I don't know how much more I can take, Fi," Dean said, wearily. "Sam… You. Trying to stop the end of the world. I'm done, Fi. I'm just done. I just don't have it in me anymore." Pushing away his beer, he stood and headed out of the kitchen, leaving Fiona alone with her thoughts.

In the panic room, Sam started to come around and for a moment, he blinked in confusion as he looked around until he realized where he was. Groaning, he slowly sat up, wincing at the pain in his arms.

"Shhh, it's okay, Sammy."

Sam looked up, alarmed as he saw his mother sitting down beside him, running her fingers through his hair. "Mom? No. You're dead. You can't be…"

"It's okay, Sam," Mary Winchester said, soothingly. "Just rest. It'll be over before you know it."

Sam felt his mother ease him back down onto the bed and he looked up at her, desperately. "Make it stop. Please. Please, Mom."

Mary gave her youngest son a sad smile and brushed his hair out of his face. "I can't, honey. I wish I could. You just have to make it though this."

"I'm sorry, Mom," Sam said, shakily. "Let's hear it. How you're disappointed in me. How you never thought I'd turn out this way. That I'm a... piss-poor excuse for a son. That your heart is broken." He looked away, ashamed of what his life had come to.

"No, Sam," Mary said, gently, and she placed a hand on Sam's cheek, turning his head so he was facing her. "I'm not disappointed." She wasn't surprised to see her son's look of astonishment. "I'm not heartbroken." Stroking Sam's cheek, Mary wished she wasn't just a ghost. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you, Sammy. This is all my fault. If I hadn't made the deal with Azazel… If I'd just taken you and Dean away, maybe all this never would have happened."

Sam wasn't sure what to say, and he couldn't say anything as he suddenly turned to the side of the bed, grabbing the metal bucket and throwing up. After emptying his stomach, he spat and set the bucket down, looking wistfully at the water on the table. He wanted to rinse his mouth out, but he felt too weak.

But just like she would have done had she still been alive, Mary brought Sam a cup of water, rubbing his back soothingly as he rinsed his mouth out. "Sam, I'm not disappointed by what you're doing. You took a horrible curse and made the best of it." Waiting until Sam looked at her, she went on. "I was raised a hunter. I know about hard choices and doing what you have to to get the job done."

Sam sat up slowly, still not sure of what to say. He never imagined his mother would actually agree with what he had been doing with Ruby. "De… Dean thinks it's weakness."

"He's not wrong," Mary replied, sadly. "Sam, the demon blood didn't make you a monster. And you can turn away from this. You can get through this." Putting a hand on Sam's shoulder, she added, "But I can't do it for you. You have to make the choice, Sammy."

"Sam?"

Sam looked around when he heard Fiona say his name. Seeing her looking through the small window in the door of the panic room, he slowly stood and managed to make his way to the door. "Fi…" he said, shakily. "You have to help me."

"Sam, I don't like this either, okay?" Fi said, sadly. "But when the doctors transfused you, the blood from me and Dean clashed with demon blood. It sent you into serious withdrawal like you were some kind of drug addict going cold turkey. What does that say to you, Sam?"

"Fi, let me out," Sam ordered, knowing it was useless.

"No, Sam," Fiona replied, firmly, before handing Sam a water bottle filled with some sort of bluish liquid. When he took it, she said, "Special formula I found in my Dad's journal. Little bit of everything. Hopefully it'll help."

"Fi…" Sam said, putting his fingers through the window. "I'm sorry. I really am."

Fiona put her hand on Sam's and gave him a sad smile. "I know."

"I love you," Sam added, earnestly.

"Me, too," Fi replied, as she pulled away. When Sam pulled away, she shut the window door and slowly made her way back upstairs where she found Dean and Bobby in the living room looking like they'd hit the tail-end of a fight. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Thought you were supposed to stay off that knee," Bobby said, changing the subject.

Fi glared at him as she slowly sat down on the couch and put her injured leg up on a pillow. "Happy?"

Dean tossed her a bottle of pain pills and replied, "Take a couple of those, and yeah. I'll be happy."

Fi downed the pills dry and then asked again, "So what am I interrupting?" Bobby looked like he was afraid to bring the subject up again and Dean looked like he wanted to punch someone. "Do I have to beat it out of you guys?"

"Bobby thinks we should let Sam out," Dean snapped, irritably, his tone and stance making it clear that it was not an option.

"Hell, no!" Fiona said, shocked that it was even a question. Looking at Bobby, she asked, "Why the hell would you even think of suggesting that?"

"Look," Bobby replied with a defensive tone. "Sam can kill demons. We're on countdown to the apocalypse and this isn't the best time to have out best weapon locked up!" Looking from Fiona to Dean, he sighed. "Look, I love Sam like he's my own son. I do. But maybe he's here instead of being on the battlefield because we love him too much."

"Bobby, you weren't there at that hospital," Dean argued, cursing the choke in his voice. "Withdrawal from the demon blood had Sammy out of his mind. He was tied down and drugged up like some whacked out junkie because that's what he is. Sam's been strung out when he's not hyped up." Dean paused a moment before he shook his head. "Sam stays where he is, Bobby. We're not letting him out."

When Sam woke up from a feverish, restless sleep, he thought he was hallucinating when he saw Dean standing in the room.

"Why'd you do this to yourself, Sammy?" Dean asked, perching on the edge of the cot.

"You know why," Sam replied, breathlessly as he slowly sat up, wiping the sweat off of his face.

"Right," Dean said, scoffing. "Kill Lilith, right. The big excuse. For what? Revenge?"

"Of course," Sam said, wondering why they were having this discussion.

"Revenge for what?" Dean asked, confused. "For sending me to Hell? Did you happen to notice that I'm back? Alive and kickin'!" Running a hand over his face, Dean sighed. "I'm not saying that I'm blameless in all this, Sammy. Alright? Guess what? I broke the first Seal. I jumpstarted all this. Hell, I started all this from the moment I made that deal."

"It's not your fault, Dean," Sam insisted. "I'm the one with the demon blood!"

Dean wished with all his heart that he could trade places with his brother. He'd even go back to Hell if it meant he could save his brother's soul. "Sam, Cas told me that I can't save you," Dean admitted. "I don't know what he was talking about but what I do know is that for a while, I saw that Fi meant more to you than Ruby. She meant more than me." He tried not to actually cry in front of Sam as he said, "So you've got to do this, man. Because when this is all over… I want to see the two of you together. I want you and Fi to get married, have kids. Let me and Bobby worry about the apocalypse and Lilith. You don't belong in this, Sam."

"Dean, I am the only one who can stop Lilith," Sam insisted.

"Why?" Dean asked, wanting to slap Sam for not listening. "Because some demon bitch says you are? Guess what? I've had angels telling me that I'm the only one who can stop this. For all we know, this is just some giant power play that neither of us can win."

"You've got to get Dean to stop this," Bobby pressed yet again. He knew it was pointless, but that he had to try.

"No," Fiona said, firmly as she went through one of Bobby's books again. But she wasn't reading. All she could think about was how beat down Dean looked, and what Sam was going through. Closing her book and slowly getting off the couch, she said, "I'll be outside. I need some air."

Outside, she walked out to the garage, looking upward towards the sky as she said, "Castiel? You and I need to talk. Like, now!"

After nearly half an hour of calling, the trenchcoat-clad angel appeared, looking a trifle perplexed at who had summoned him. "Fiona," he said in greeting.

"I'm only going to say this once," Fiona said, brusquely. "Whatever plans you halo-guys have for Sam and Dean, it ends now."

"With all due respect," Castiel said, his tone even. "You do not have the power or authority to dictate—"

But Fiona wouldn't let him finish. She grabbed the angel by the lapels and slammed him into the nearest car. "What I have are two friends who are in no shape to take down Lilith. So either you help me do it, or you find me someone who can."

"You do not have the means or the strength to defeat Lilith," Castiel replied in his usual monotone.

"Because I don't have demon blood in me?" Fiona said, barely controlling her anger. "Well, then let's move on to Plan B!"

When Fiona let him go, Cas cocked his head, studying her intently. "You would give your life to spare the Winchesters?"

"What, you angels don't believe in self-sacrifice?" Fiona said, frowning. "Thought you guys were all about loyalty."

Cas didn't say anything for a moment as he considered what Fiona was asking of him. She would go face Lilith and likely meet her death. "It's not that simple," he said, trying to make Fi understand. "You can not kill Lilith."

"You give me one good reason why I can't," Fiona said, coldly. "And I'm not talking about the company line. I'm not talking about how I don't have Sam's powers."

"I can't help you get to Lilith," Castiel replied, feeling ashamed that he was taking the coward's way out. Seeing the icy fire and anger in Fiona's eyes, he sighed, praying for forgiveness. "But I know who can."

Dean felt more tired than he'd ever felt in his life as he sank down onto the couch in Bobby's living room.

He and Bobby had just tied Sam down after the demon blood had started throwing Sam around the panic room before throwing him into a full blown grand mal seizure.

Bobby believed that the longer Sam went without demon blood, the less chance there was of the younger Winchester surviving but Dean flat-out refused to acquiesce. If Sammy was going to die, then he was going to die human.

Bowing his head, Dean wished he knew the right thing to do. Bobby was right—Sam had the power to kill Lilith and stop all of this. But the angels had told Dean that he was the one who had to end it. And then there was Castiel, telling him that Fiona was the only one who could save Sam.

Hearing Bobby come in, Dean looked up at the older hunter. "What's up?"

"Fiona's gone," Bobby replied, without preamble.

"What?" Dean said, alarmed. "What happened? Where'd she go?"

"No clue where she went, but she took my car," Bobby said, throwing his hat down on the desk and running a hand through his thinning hair. Replacing the cap, he sighed, jumping when Dean grabbed an empty bottle of whiskey and threw it against the wall. "Dean!"

"Damnit, Fi!" Dean screamed as he crumpled to the floor, tears streaming down his face.

"Dean, pull yourself together, boy!" Bobby said, quickly.

"She's gone after her, Bobby," Dean said, breathlessly, his heart pounding. "Fi's gone after Lilith. I'm going to lose both of them. Fiona… Sammy… I can't do it, Bobby."

Bobby didn't know what to do as he watched the young man he thought of as a son fall apart right in front of him.

Knocking on the door of the Ridgewood Hotel's honeymoon suite, Ruby waited until the door opened before she said, "The honeymoon suite, Sam? Really, I'm flattered."

"Don't be," Fiona said, slamming the door shut, exposing the Devil's Trap on the other side.

"Didn't know you swung that way," Ruby replied, smirking.

Fiona hit the demon hard before saying, coldly, "Sam's benched. Dean's out. So you and I are going to take down Lilith. And if you try to double-cross me, you'll know the taste of your own knife as I shove it through your skull. Understand?"

"So what are you going to do?" Ruby asked, amused. "Ask Lilith nicely to stand still while you stab her?"

"No," Fiona replied, crossing her arms. "You're going to put the word out that I want to meet Lilith-face to face, one on one."

Ruby's eyes widened as she realized that Fiona was totally serious. "You want to have a death match with Lilith? Never figured you for suicidal." After a moment, however, she shrugged. "Fine. Did you have a location in mind, or do you want Lilith to set up the meet?"

"Oh, I have a place in mind," Fiona said, with more calm than she felt.

"So it's coming down to the wire, huh?" Ellen said, grimly as she perched on the arm of the couch where Dean was lying—the young man was asleep, thanks to a little chemical assist from Bobby. Looking at Bobby, Ellen wished she could say something comforting, but she couldn't think of the right words. "How's Sam?"

"I knocked him out with the hospital-grade stuff Dean had in the Impala a couple hours ago," Bobby replied, rubbing his face with one hand. "I wish I could say he's through the worst of it, but there's no way to know if he is."

"And Fiona?" Ellen wanted to know. When Bobby had called her, wanting to know if she'd seen Fiona Brendon, she hadn't realized that the situation was so dire until she'd shown up on Bobby's front porch.

Bobby sighed again as he paced the room. "No sign. Police in Jamestown, North Dakota found my car. Couple other cars were stolen, but no way to check which one Fi might have picked." Looking over at Dean, Bobby didn't want to leave the young hunter alone and he looked over at Ellen. "You mind keeping an eye on Dean for a minute?"

"Yeah, of course," Ellen replied, as if it wasn't even a question.

Bobby nodded and gave her a smile before heading down to the panic room and looking inside. To his surprise and relief, Sam looked like he was waking up, but the younger man didn't seem to have the tremors he'd had before. Entering the room, Bobby went over to Sam, approaching cautiously as he asked, "Sam? How're you doing, boy?"

"Bobby?" Sam said, blinking as he tried to bring the older hunter into focus. Carefully sitting up, he groaned at the headache building. "What happened?"

"Demon blood detox," Bobby replied, simply. "How're you feeling?" he asked again.

"Better," Sam replied, honestly. "I mean, I feel tired. But other than that…" Looking up at the man he considered to be a second father, Sam's eyes widened as he understood what the other man meant. "I'm not still jonesing, Bobby."

Bobby looked hesitant, but thinking that right now finding Fiona and getting Dean back in the game was more important, he pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the cuffs on Sam's wrists and ankles. Once Sam was unbound, Bobby jumped right into it. "Sam, I don't want you flying out of here right now—just listen for a moment, okay?"

"Bobby, what's wrong?" Sam asked, quickly, wondering what could have happened. Had the last of the seals broken already? Had something happened to Dean or Fiona?

"Fi's gone," Bobby said, preparing himself for Sam's reaction. Sure enough, Sam stood quickly before faltering. "Take it easy, boy!" Bobby warned. "You're not going to do anyone any good like this. Get some rest and we'll go in the morning, okay?"

Sam didn't want to wait. He needed to apologize to Dean. But he felt exhausted and before he realized he was lying down again, he was sound asleep.

"Okay," Ruby said, coming back into the hotel suite that evening. "Word's out, so Lilith should be finding out about your little throwdown shortly."

"Good," Fiona said, nodding as she checked that she had everything she needed. Going to the door, she broke the Devil's Trap and opened the door. "Oh, and if you warn Sam and Dean, you're next, Ruby."

As Ruby left the room, she started wondering if it would be worth it to give the Winchesters a heads-up. Besides, after Lilith was dealt with it was all over anyway.

xxxxxxxxx

Appearing in the living room of Bobby Singer's house later that night, Ruby wondered why she hadn't anticipated sawed off shotguns filled with rock salt being pointed at her. "Look, I didn't come here to fight, okay?" she insisted, putting both hands up in a show of surrender.

Sam grabbed Ruby and slammed her into a wall, looking ready to tear her apart. "Yeah, right," he snapped, his temper barely contained. "And I suppose next you're going to say you're not here to get me to suck down more demon blood, too, right?"

Pushing Sam away, Ruby glared at the assembled group. "I'm here to tell you where Fiona is, okay?"

"And why exactly should we believe you?" Ellen said, still pointing her shotgun at the demon's head.

"Fiona wanted me to set the whole thing up," Ruby explained. "She's at a convent in Ilchester, Maryland."

"Then let's go," Sam said, shooting Ruby a glare before heading for the door.

But while Bobby and Ellen followed Sam, Dean paused a moment and gave Ruby a look. "If Fiona dies before we find her, I'll be coming for you next." With that, he followed the others out to the Impala.