Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.
Carlisle POV
It would go without saying that my and Esme's breakdown had been a long time coming. In effect, my rigid control could only hold so long, and the months of Edward's silence, the worry about him and Bella both, and the family's reaction to their combined absences had all but destroyed us. Her rejection of us, although well deserved, had been the final straw.
It may have seemed odd to some for me to let go in Aro's presence, for us to lie in their arms for the extended time we had, but it would be because they didn't understand the complexity of our relationship. I had always known that Aro had desired more than friendship, and his pursuit during my time with them had been relentless, but respectful. We'd never spoken the words, but he'd known through my thoughts the futility of his actions. Even before Esme's presence in my life, my feelings for him and Cia had been nothing but platonic. However, to consider our relationship as one of just friendship wouldn't really adequately describe it. I was privileged enough to know him as more than just the ruler of our world. Aro and Sulpicia had been as close to family as I'd come before finding my own. So it was with a degree of shame that I realized I'd relied, in my moment of need, on the intensity of a relationship that hadn't been clarified in hundreds of years.
He, of course, heard my every thought. "Shh…it's fine. Consider this repayment for your intercession between myself and Marcus," he whispered softly with sincerity. "We do need to speak, however, just you and me. Your wife has already addressed me…and, how do the young people say it…'put me in my place.'"
The burst of humor that flared quickly was welcome. I wasn't ignorant enough to believe he would stop…so we would resume our dance. I felt his body shake softly with his laughter.
"Just not the dance I would prefer," he murmured.
"STOP!" I couldn't help but laugh out.
"For now, that is all I'll promise."
I felt Esme's hand twine with mine and disengaged myself from Aro to take her in my arms. Aro and Sulpicia's moment of consolation had rejuvenated me, and from the look on her face, Esme as well. So much of our energy was spent attempting to appear human, but we could release that obligation here. Ironically, the walls of the castle provided the same safety and security that had been intended when they were first built, but in the form of secrecy, not physical protection. Now we would just have to deal with the manipulation and intrigue.
"I'll ask Caius to speak with you, Carlisle. I know you will worry incessantly until you have clarity. Go spend time with your bride, it has been an extremely trying day," he said rising from the floor with grace.
Esme utilized her free hand to squeeze Cia's gently before patting Aro's cheek as we left. His bemused expression, as a result of her actions, spoke words.
We made our way down the hall, and across to the wing we would occupy before I spoke.
"I've never really considered this, Esme, but you may be exactly what Aro needs to keep him honest. He isn't accustomed to having women stand up to him, other than Sulpicia. It will be interesting to see the relationship you command. What did you say to him?" I asked in morbid curiosity.
She smirked, humor finally reaching her eyes for the first time in months, and said, "In effect, that you are mine and hands off."
Deep bellowing laughter echoed throughout the hallway, and I actually sat down on one of the benches, pulling her beside me, so that I could bask undeterred in the cleansing it provided my soul. Her hand rubbed across my back, as we both indulged in the unexpected and needed frivolity. Within just moments, I'd gathered her against me and began kissing lovingly across her neck and chin.
"We'll be fine here. It isn't what I would have hoped for, but we'll be treated fairly as long as we abide by the rules. I just hope Edward can get through to Bella quickly. Felix is a force to be reckoned with. If he has set his sights on her, it will cause problems."
I glanced down and saw the concern in her eyes. "Let me expound. Felix is a perfectly acceptable man. He is deadly in a fight, but he isn't unfair or misguided, just loyal to a fault. He is as lethal in regards to relationships. He doesn't lack for companionship for many of those reasons. If Bella wasn't already Edward's, I couldn't ask for a better possibility for her."
"But she's his…" Esme said softly, meaning our son.
"She was, Esme…but our actions have jeopardized that. I, for one, will do everything I can to throw them together. She loves him, I agree with Jasper in that; sooner or later she will see his sincerity, and hopefully forgive us. As for Felix, well as much as I like him, he isn't destined to be my son-in-law, and I don't plan to make it easy on him."
"Carlisle Cullen scheming? I never thought I'd see the day," she murmured, having focused her attention on my lips in a manner that I knew was about to bring about the end of polite conversation.
"Mmm…hmmm," I said feathering mine against hers, "I'll do whatever it takes to bring our daughter home."
Even though I knew her mood had turned lustful, her next words shocked me.
"Carlisle…you know that agreement we have to always be gut level honest with each other?" She grinned devilishly at me and my quizzical look. "The scheming is an incredible turn on…but seeing you in Aro's arms was an unexpected boon as well." Her face was a portrait of lust, and she bit into her bottom lip.
Electric shock raced through my body, and in reaction I pulled Esme from the bench and threw her over my shoulder. I barely heard my children's snickers as we blurred through the suites, her body dangling over my back.
Esme bounced from the force by which I threw her to the bed, and I heard it creak in protest. Wasting no time, I grabbed the edges of her shirt and it ripped it in two, displaying her flesh to my eyes. Another rip destroyed the bra she was wearing, exposing her breasts to me. I wrapped my hands around them teasing her taut nipples. Esme smiled in pleasure and anticipation at me and brought her arms up, crossing her wrists above her head. A growl ripped from my chest in response to the offering and submissive posture she'd assumed. I reached down and tore her pants and underwear from her and then straddled her hips as I divested myself of clothing.
Esme and I had shared so much over the years. Practicing her before-mentioned brutal honesty in the bedroom had taught us what pleased each other. It was a fine art, the practice of bringing Esme to a mind shuddering orgasm, one I cultivated with single minded dedication. I knew every inch of her, as she did me. She knew my needs most times before I even did. This moment was no exception.
"Carlisle…don't go easy," she purred up at me, knowing that I would be afraid to treat her that way without her understanding. "I did found it incredibly erotic to see Aro holding you…"
My roar drowned out the rest of the sentence. I almost came at the feeling of sliding into her scalding wetness. One hand grasped her wrists above her head, providing my anchor, while the other tangled in her hair, locking our lips and allowing me to plunder her mouth. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and our bodies slammed violently into each other again and again. I finally ripped my mouth from hers to lick her jaw. The feeling of my tongue on her skin sent her over the edge. She screamed my name, her walls clenching around me. I followed her almost immediately, shuddering my release into her.
"Aro has my utmost thanks," she whispered against my shoulder, when we were finally capable of speech. "Aggressive, dominant Carlisle is always welcome in my bed," she clarified further, and I could feel her lips shifting into a satisfied smirk against my skin.
"Esme Cullen, that was all you; don't mistake my passion."
"Oh…I was aware of your full attention, and for whom it was reserved, but, I enjoyed the forcefulness and spontaneity. I know your boundaries. Visit him more often, and then come see me," she nuzzled against my throat. "I will so enjoy the results of that man's fruitless labor.
Chuckling darkly, I twisted her so that she now straddled my aroused body. Her head fell backwards, and her chest heaved as she arched above me, slowly impaling herself on me.
I hissed out,"…you mentioned something earlier about domination…"
Edward POV
By listening to their thoughts, I'd effectively managed to avoid the guard members throughout the castle up until the final floor. I decided to act as if my presence was assumed once I reached the Volturi's quarters. My hope was that the assumption would be that no one would make it past the sentries without an invitation and that the last line of defense wouldn't question my presence other than to monitor my actions.
I'd escaped the room when Carlisle carried Esme in over his shoulder. The sexual tension between them had sent Jasper and Alice running to their room. I was grateful that Emmett, Rosalie, and Jacob had already retired to their rooms, so that I didn't have to explain.
In an effort to convince the guard member standing at the end of the hallway of my permission to enter these grounds, I straightened as much as I possibly could, assuming an authoritative stance and purposefully strode to the room I desired admittance to. My soft knock resulted in the door opening within just seconds.
"I am not surprised to find you here," Aro said, even as the guard member realized the connotation of the words and growled.
I could care less about the threatening thoughts of the man just feet from me, if Aro allowed me into the room. "May I please speak with you and your wife?"
He stepped back from the door, allowing me to enter into his private domain. I could smell Carlisle on him as I passed. Sulpicia sat on the couch across the room. She too was unsurprised to see me. I was pleased that they understood that Bella was important enough for me to risk their displeasure at approaching them uninvited. However, it wouldn't hurt my pleas to be humble.
"I apologize for approaching you without permission; however, I needed to complete the conversation that you and I began," I indicated to Aro, speaking of the thoughts he'd garnered through my memory. "In addition, I believe it is only prudent that you should know everything," I indicated to Sulpicia, coming to a stop just in front of the fireplace. I didn't sit out of respect.
"Aro has already made me aware of the thoughts he has gathered from you, Edward. What I would most like to know is why?"
"I will answer anything you ask of me, with perfect openness," I held my hand out toward Aro, indicating my willingness to let him filter through my thoughts. "However, if I might be allowed one more indulgence, I feel it is necessary for Marcus, Caius, and Athenodora to be present."
I saw the surprise on their faces at my request. "They are her family too now; are they not?"
"Hm…yes they are," Aro murmured, attempting to hide his approval of my tactic from me.
Within moments I was surrounded by the elite of our society. Caius and his mate sat on the couch opposite of Aro and Sulpicia. Marcus stood beside me at the fireplace.
I was momentarily distracted by the symbolism of the two of us. The grief hung across his shoulders, visibly weighing him down. Such would be my life if I could not convince Bella to give me another chance. She would be my destruction or my salvation, and I could see within the memories of them together that, in a way, she was also his. Longing poured through me as I saw her turn to him in merriment as she teased him. Her face held all the same nuances her human one had. Immortality had only perfected what I'd already thought of as flawless.
Marcus' eyes widened as he realized what I was softly smiling over. In response, he focused clearly on her devastated visage as she'd stared at the picture of his long dead wife.
"Does it ever get any better, Master Marcus?"
That is what I more often see, young one. He silently informed me.
Cauis and Aro immediately realized what was occurring. From their perspectives came other memories meant to torture me. They were like a finely oiled war machine in their devastation, utilizing my skills to hear their thoughts against me. I felt as if Emmett had kicked me in the stomach, when Aro threw the final knife at me. I saw the desecration on Bella's wrists through his memory. I'd thought James' bite mark was horrific. The elegantly penned words were immeasurably worse.
I'd locked down my body in reaction, the only sign of my distress was the faint pants of unnecessary air that escaped me. They waited to see what I would do.
"I understand that I am unworthy of her," I finally growled out, slowly unclenching my fingers from my hair. My voice was much harsher than I planned, but it was the best I could manage over the agony I felt…an agony that was without a doubt nirvana compared to what I'd put her through.
"I assume there is a reason you risked our collective displeasure?" Caius asked.
"As I did with Charlie, Bella's biological father, I've come to ask permission to court her. I also assumed that I would need to explain my actions in order to gain such privilege." I said staring directly at Aro, as her father figure, even though the permission would most likely need to come from them all.
I'd stunned them temporarily into silence. They were beings far older than even most written history. If anyone understood the old fashioned notion of courtship, they did.
"I have further questions before I can even entertain such a request. I'll ask you again Edward, why?" Sulpicia said, from beside her husband.
Their positions against each other reminded me of Carlisle and Esme…always touching…as if two parts of one whole attempting to reunite. He'd chosen not to take my hand. Something told me that he could discern the truth of these words without his gift.
"I can give you my rationale at the time. It was that I wanted her to be able to stay human, to live out a life that I couldn't give her. I wanted to keep her safe and allow her to find someone that could love her without the fear of killing her. I didn't want her to have to live with the drawbacks of our existence."
"And you have problems with being what you are, Edward? You're that miserable in your existence?" Caius responded with venom.
"I have been at times…at least until Bella came into my life. Leaving her was excruciating."
"You didn't stay to watch over her?" Athenodora challenged quietly, taking up her mate's line of questioning. It was the first time I'd heard her speak.
"I didn't trust myself to be near her after an incident where her blood was spilt. For one, I was afraid I would give into my desires and attempt to change her. Then, my biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to stop, once I'd tasted her blood again. The thoughts of my family…the blood thirst…it was so strong. Jasper and I suffered the most…him because he could feel their thirst and me because I could hear it. The day I left, I went into her house to take back the items we'd given her before she came home from school, and for a moment I lost control. I would have killed her had she come home then…I have no doubt."
"You are that undisciplined?" Athenodora exclaimed, her voice going up an octave in disapproval even as Aro scoffed.
She was equating my loss of control and inability to manage my thirst with immaturity. She was right…in a way. My decision to leave had been immature. Aro answered her question in a more enlightening way.
"Before you make judgments, you need to understand that Isabella was Edward's La Tua Cantante."
Marcus, Athenodora, and Caius' expressions changed immediately, from revulsion to shock. Marcus and Athenodora had seen Caius go through the experience. I saw his monstrous expression through their eyes as he devoured the woman who had accidentally ventured into their pathway. He'd never had a chance of rational thought. The manner of dress indicated a period long past. He'd only experienced it once, but it was firmly etched into his brain. Caius softened toward me in that moment…not enough to forgive me completely for hurting Bella…but enough to give me a chance.
His memory, however, caused the burn in my throat to flare as Bella's smell was precisely recreated in my mind. My hand found its way to my throat, and I saw my face reflected in their minds. My eyes were black, and thirst had contorted my expression into a snarling beast. I took a few moments to swallow the venom that had drenched my mouth.
"HOW?" Caius exploded in reaction.
"I love her. Hurting her was unacceptable," I hurled at him, as if it was the simplest thing to understand. How could no one else see it in this manner?
"I had to do something, so I began chasing Victoria, or at least thought I was. She would have been the only threat to Bella. I thought I'd left her safe. I did not make a wise decision at the time, but I will not lay all the blame on my thirst."
"You came back?" Marcus asked from beside me, and I turned back to face him. I wondered why he brought it back to this. His mind was curiously blank.
"I did."
"Why?"
"My heart might have stopped beating almost a hundred years ago, but the absence of her made it throb. I couldn't exist without her any longer. I was going to humble myself and beg for her forgiveness until she listened."
"What if she'd found love with someone else?" I heard Sulpicia's internal debate. She was wondering how I would react if Felix won her affections. What I would have felt if I'd found Bella with Jacob.
"Bella's happiness, her safety, and well being mean more to me than any desire of my own. I would have existed around her, ensuring that the person that won her heart treated her with the respect she deserved, the respect I didn't give her. Of course, I would have always hoped though that somewhere in her heart she would finally forgive me."
I struggled to keep my attention focused on Marcus; my shame demanded that I break eye contact with him, but I held steadfast. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done…accepting my responsibility in this manner…well other than lie to the person who was the reason for my existence.
"I would have too, Edward…"
I spun to find Bella framed in the door that obviously led to the study. I wondered just how long she'd been there, and it was then that Marcus' control slipped. She'd been there since Sulpicia had asked me 'why' the second time. She'd heard everything…
Isabella POV
"Isabella, the day you protected us in the throne room, what did you feel?" Jane asked in response to my rant about Aro and my description of our argument on the cliffs.
"I'm not sure…the need to make sure you were okay, possibly."
"So was it a conscious decision, or did you just run with your gut reaction?"
Jane wasn't much on small talk, usually going directly to the point in most conversations. I had proposed to myself that it was because she had few friends over the years to actually 'talk to.' She had become accustomed to sharing just the final line, instead of the debate. I knew that, in a way, we were very similar. During my human life, I too had been quiet and reserved. But in this instance, I needed a chatty girlfriend to really hash out my feelings. So I sent her a pleading look.
"Okay, I can see what you mean about it being within our nature to protect those we care for, but exactly how am I supposed to accept that he used me to get Carlisle and the others here?
She actually rolled her eyes at me which was a first. "He didn't change you to get to Carlisle, Bella. He changed you because he wanted you. So…he's already indulged in something that hasn't happened here in hundreds of years, and after figuring out how to utilize the knowledge he had, he indulged a little farther. Clear and simple…he used what he had to make us stronger. That is his responsibility as our leader. So be it if he gets a little satisfaction out of it for himself as well. Trust me, it will be precious little. Carlisle has the morals of a priest…or so I've heard."
She looked over at my expression and chuckled. The sound was rusty, as if from disuse. "You are so naïve."
I quirked my eyebrow at her. In this instance, she may have been right about me, but she was so very wrong about the man she'd known.
"Actually, I was just thinking how wrong you are about Carlisle. Trust me, other than the fact that they don't feed off humans, there is nothing that isn't all vampire about them. Seeing it from this perspective, so much of their behavior is explained." I thought of the vague memories I had of closed doors and scorching looks between the couples.
I was stunned to realize that I could speak this way about them, and it didn't burn me. In fact, I could do it with some semblance of normalcy. Perhaps, it was because I knew now that they'd never stopped loving me. But still, what they had done was more than enough…. A flash of rage washed through me…ah…so the hurt was replaced by anger. I could live with that.
"So tell me, your Edward, is he adventuresome?" Jane, of course, meant it in a sexual way.
She looked at me seeing my expression, rebellion and mortification mixed in equal parts. She chuckled again.
"Oh, come on! Grow up, and join us in the real world. You must have lived in a seriously restrictive environment as a human…how in the world did you just happen to find the only vampire that has the morals of the Victorian Age?" She'd deduced quickly just how chaste my relationship with Edward had been. "Well, I guess it does make sense your vampire would be that way, with Carlisle being his sire."
"He isn't my anything."
"Hm...such a waste…then you won't mind if I take him out for a spin then?" she said in a seductive voice as she arched her eyebrow at me in challenge.
Snarls ripped out of me at the thought of anyone but me touching him. I attempted to stop, but her point was made.
"As I thought," she turned toward the mirror and removed the robe she had been wearing when I entered. I'd caught her just as she was returning to her quarters, having completed her duties for the evening.
She blurred into her bedroom and changed into a deep red silk lounging set. It flowed loosely across her legs, and the top was a camisole with spaghetti straps. I'd never seen her so casually dressed or in anything other than black. The red was startling against her white skin and emphasized her eyes, hair, and deceptive frailty. I couldn't help but notice her figure, petite but lovely, now that it wasn't hidden by a heavy black robe. She'd unpinned her hair, and it hung half way down her back in thick golden waves. She went from looking like a witch (as most of the guard called her) to a beautiful ethereal seductress.
She caught my eyes in the mirror. "What?"
I shook my head to clear the amazement her transformation had provided. "You look like a different person with your hair down and out of your restrictive uniform," I said, emphasizing the sarcastic term she'd used to talk about my pre-change world.
"Touche," she smirked. "Yes, we all have different sides, Isabella. The things we must do and be for the good of the whole and the individuals we get to be when those duties aren't required."
She was, of course, alluding to the different sides of Aro…the leader that made decisions for the benefit of us all and the man who I was beginning to know and care about.
"So, tell me about our newest inductees. The tall, scarred one looks scrumptious. If I can't have Edward, any chance I might be able to seduce him?"
I thought of Alice and the damage she would attempt to inflict on Jane, and then I thought about the pain Jane would inflict on her. Curiously, she didn't mention Emmett, who just happened to remind me an awful lot of Felix. I wondered again about the history between her and Felix. It obviously was not entirely pleasant. Jane could torture Rosalie for all I cared. But back to the issue at hand.
"You go from one extreme to the other. Is sex the only thing you think of when you aren't working?"
"Isabella…Isabella…Isabella…you have just solved a mystery for me. I am astounded that Felix has not already stormed those walls. We've all wondered, of course. He has disappeared from the night life around here now that you've joined us." She laughed at the expression on my face. "Don't worry; I won't spill your secret. It will be my own personal delight to know he is resorting to self satisfaction."
"Jane, talking about the two sides of people…quit being the bitch you portray for everyone else! This is me, and I really need your perspective here." I wasn't ready to share my own private moments of 'self satisfaction.'
"Okay! As Princess Isabella has commanded…" she teased, performing a mock bow, before she sat on the couch with me, drawing her knees up and resting her chin on them.
It was as if I saw the ice melt from her face, and instead of the cold calculating vampire, I was able to see the girl beneath the façade…the girl who had become my curious friend over the past weeks as we slowly found points of mutual understanding. She was intrigued by me since I didn't fear her, and I found her brutal honesty refreshing - you always knew where you stood with her.
"Much better," I actually giggled. Amazingly, she stuck her tongue out at me before speaking.
"Seriously, Isabella, you are over thinking everything. Aro did what he did to get what he wanted, but the Cullens would have had to answer for their actions regardless. I would've hated to have been ordered to search Carlisle down for destruction. This resolution is so much better than what could have occurred."
My mind reeled at how quickly she could change thoughts, but I did want to talk about what the Cullens had done. It had been what I come to discuss, along with Aro, but I was afraid of her reaction. She was, however, a truly perceptive individual.
"I won't pretend to understand their beliefs. I won't pretend to understand how they can be sad or upset about being a vampire. However, what I do understand…is their hesitancy to take your life. Life will be much easier for you if you begin to see things in shades of gray versus black and white."
"You have the rest of eternity to live. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to find the perfect answer to every question. I think what is most important is that they were attempting to find you. Obviously, you weren't as alone as you thought. Although, I do hope you'll send the shape shifter home soon. He is smelling up the place."
Shape shifter? Ah…Jacob. Yes, Jacob and I needed to have that discussion soon so that he could go home to help my father. I needed to talk with him, to know his side, with an intensity that disturbed me, but I was hoping he would watch over Charlie for me, regardless of how he may feel about me afterward.
Jane tensed beside me as, and when she finally did verbalize her thoughts, I realized why. She wasn't fond of showing sentimentality to anyone. "Don't throw your chance at happiness away, without really contemplating it. You may find something else that is satisfying, but it will never be the exact fit, and you will have to live with that ache the rest of eternity."
Silence reigned for a time as she was lost to her contemplation afterward and I enjoyed the moment of companionable silence. I had to tug on a strand of pale blond hair to get her to refocus. "Hey…earth to Jane here." She looked up and grinned back at me answering the look on my face, but there was still sadness there. "But do we not have eternity to fix our mistakes?" I challenged her, for once giving her a little wisdom.
"Hmm…little Isabella showing her teeth. I must admit to curiosity as to which man you are going to cut them on? I, for one, think I'm going to find Demetri tonight." She shuddered delicately, obviously envisioning her plans for him. "Perhaps you should utilize your own wisdom and go make up with our fearless leader, but sooner than later. It'll help to at least have that determined. Then you can focus on a much more satisfying course of action."
Jane laughed then, very softly, seeing my confusion, a real laugh that sounded like tiny bells. "Ah, Isabella, I am so glad Aro chose you! Such sweetness and light in our darkness, we have not had such a one as you since Didyme died. Hm…." She paused, her eyes widening as she seemed to contemplate something…something I was suddenly curious to hear, then her voice dropped to a whisper as if she wanted to keep others from overhearing. "I have had very few friends in this life. I'm glad to have the opportunity to be yours, though the why still escapes me."
When we entered the hallway I, still confused, spoke softly, shyly, "Jane…thank you."
I meant it for everything…and she turned with a smile on her face and blew me a kiss. I shook my head in fondness, watching the sway of her hips as she stalked away. Demetri was in for a long night.
Jane was right. I needed to use my new found and probably short lived peacefulness to go and apologize to Aro. I was still incredibly angry with him. He was a manipulative bastard, but for better or worse he was my manipulative bastard… the one serving as my guardian in this world. Where that left Carlisle and Esme, I didn't know.
I entered their chambers through the other door, planning to ask them to come into the study out of habit. I'd all but avoided Aro's room since the time I'd spied Carlisle's face in the painting. It had caused the hole to throb within me. I heard Sulpicia speaking, and then I realized she was talking to Edward. I remained out of sight, wondering why he would be with them. What I overheard was bittersweet. There was no denying the sincerity of his emotions and words. I felt the hole close within me completely, as if a healing hand had softly smoothed the angry ripped edges with a magic potion. I would probably never hurt again in that way, but it wasn't enough. He'd betrayed my trust, and that was a far harder thing to fix than my broken heart.
When he began to describe the struggle he'd endured, and that he'd finally lost the fight to stay away from me, my body moved against my will toward the opening. I hadn't planned to let him know of my presence, but I was surprised he didn't hear me anyway. I could only assume that he was so intent on his explanation that he was distracted. Marcus' eyes met mine briefly as I stepped into view, but he intentionally avoided further contact with me. Edward's back was to me as he spoke to the others.
I was confused about the La Tua Cantante thing and wanted to understand. When he spoke about his plan to beg my forgiveness, it broke my resolve to remain silent.
"I would have too, Edward…"
As he spun to me, I was horrified at my actions. I had been struggling to just fade back into the room and allow him to leave. Now it would seem that I was forced to face him. I would have forgiven him then. Too many other things had occurred since for it to be so simple now.
I tore my eyes from him and focused on Aro as I walked into the room. I was afraid to look anywhere else for fear of breaking down. I was excruciatingly aware, though, that his eyes followed me.
"Father…"Aro visibly relaxed at the title, knowing it denoted that I was asking forgiveness for my earlier actions. He smiled slightly acknowledging my request, and providing my answer. As he rose from beside Sulpicia, Aro in turn held his hand out to me in supplication, making his own request. The feel of his skin against mine provided a focal point as I stopped just before him.
"La Tua Cantante. What does that mean?"
Caius answered instead. "As a human, you were Edward's singer."
I turned my quizzical glance toward him and could unfortunately see Edward in my side view.
"We don't understand the origins or the implications, and it is a rare event even for an immortal vampire, but a select few are faced with a human whose blood calls to them more than anything else. The pain is excruciating and the need overwhelming. It drives rational thought from your mind until you satisfy the desire to drain them. The thirst is like nothing you've ever experienced, Isabella. Imagine the thirst you felt after those five days you defied us, and magnify it a multitude of times. Such is the pull and nature of the singer for his or her vampire." Caius stated solemnly.
I heard Edward gasp behind me and realized that he must have seen me through Aro's thoughts, the animal I'd become attempting to withstand my thirst…and the snarling creature I'd become afterward. It was mortifying. Well, that should solve my dilemma. He wouldn't want to be with me now…I would repulse him.
Did he also see me begging for Felix? Had Aro touched any of the others afterward…did he know of my final degradation? If there was any goodness to the world, I had hopefully not said his name as I exploded in a million pieces over and over that night. I didn't know…I'd been so overwhelmed with my first taste of passion and the thoughts of his lips and hands on me…his body claiming mine.
"So, after the first time of meeting the singer, the vampire becomes desensitized to the smell, and they smell like any other human," I rationalized realizing that it explained Edward's first reaction to me in the classroom, and his hesitancy to be around me.
The silence finally caught my attention, and I looked up to see blank expression on their faces.
"Only one individual existing can answer that question for you," Caius shrugged his shoulder toward the direction where I knew Edward stood. "No other singer has survived, at least to our knowledge."
Hazy memories of the agony I'd caught on Edward's face at times filtered quickly through my mind. His hesitancy to touch me and the stillness of our first kiss. I thought of the humans I'd killed being that close to my lips and my own thirst raged. I spun to look at Edward finally understanding only in part what it must have felt like that day and the multitude afterward, for him.
He stood, the cords of his neck standing out in tension, his face to the floor. He held his body rigid.
"Edward!"
When his face jerked to me, I stepped back toward Aro for protection from the monster I saw in him. His eyes were black with need, and his lips pulled tautly against the teeth that could have shredded me like butter back then. I was afraid of him in that moment. I suddenly understood the danger I'd been in from him as a human.
'HOW?' Caius had shouted at him. 'I love her. Hurting her was unacceptable' had been his answer to Caius. I understood now, and I feared his answer to my unspoken question.
His hand went to his throat as his face contorted, and I realized he couldn't speak. Marcus took pity on him.
"Did the pain ever get better, Edward?"
He swiftly jerked his head, answering negatively. They waited in patience, me in horror, as he struggled to speak.
"…lived with it…" his barely audible reply finally echoed through the room.
I couldn't handle the shame this brought me. I'd assumed much as a human, relying on the control I hadn't understood he was exerting. He was in so much pain even now. Did it equate to the agony I'd felt over the past few months? I didn't know the answer to that…and to contemplate it was uncomfortable. My rage and anger, while understandable, would have little fuel to fire it after this revelation.
I was before him in a moment, my hand cradling the side of his face in an attempt to comfort him. Pleasure and raging desire, flared dramatically, radiating up from my hand through my arm and spreading rapidly throughout my body…his trembled beneath my touch. His wide black eyes latched onto mine, after glancing at my arm. The tattoo was only faintly apparent, having been all but been obliterated by the healing properties of the venom. "Unloved" it mocked.
He said with great emotion, "There has never been a bigger untruth in this world."
His words helped break the spell long enough for me to pull my hand away. We both groaned at the loss of contact, but the atmosphere had changed. He still looked like a monster, but now his black eyes were slanted. I knew this time though that I would relish the particular destruction his body wanted to do to mine. My nipples hardened, and moisture pooled between my legs in reaction to the graphic promises I could see in his eyes. His nose flared, picking up on the scent, even as his eyes were drawn to my chest. A low rumble coming from him spread across the space between us.
I hadn't promised not to run from him…so I flew away…from what I wanted to do...from his willingness. As I gained entry to the hallway, all I heard was two words from Aro.
"Permission granted."
What question had Edward asked?
I heard him in hot pursuit of me but made it to my room in time to close the door. He was too much of a gentleman to break it down.
He placed his hands to the door, and I guessed his forehead as well as I heard the brush of his hair against it. I shivered from the promise his velvet voice held as I heard from the other side, "Love…" When I didn't answer and the silence lengthened, he finally whispered with intent, "very well…I'll be back."
I would love to know what you think! Need feedback on just how aggressive you want Edward to become in his pursuit?
As always, I want to thank my Beta:
Crmcneill – For his patience with me (contrary to how he presents himself on his FF profile) and his incomparable editing skills. Male twilight fans are not a myth – they do exist, and I am so glad I was able to connect with him. I've called many men friends, but I've never called one master until now. "Strong is the power of the comma. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can." Visit his stories here!