Celestial Being Chronicles - Chapter 76
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Gundam series, nor any of the various series which are used or referenced in my fic, so please point that damned lawsuit cannon at someone else, also, don't read this if you are not of legal age to read such material. The story contains possibly disturbing content and should not be read by close-minded people (i.e., people who are easily offended.) Everything in the story is fictional. I am also not responsible for any actions taken by people who read this story and society's problems. I do, however, own my original character; Hope Yamato.
"So have you spotted them yet?" Cagalli asked Kira, her tone caught between boredom and relish. The Akatsuki was poking the haft of its recently equipped beam scythe into the dirt, drawing little random patterns before scuffing them away with its foot and repeating the process, an obvious sign of too much energy and not enough outlet. The Destiny, Divinity, Destiny Impulse and Strike Freedom all remained reletively motionless as their pilots carefully watched the horizon. While every other person in the Celestial Being defense force was praying for just another few minutes before the Earth Alliance forces got in range to start their attack, Cagalli was impatient for them to arrive and would have likely flown off to attack them first herself, if it wasn't for one overriding concern; she was just as anxious as Kira was to find the Orb Gundams.
Kira was looking at the data feeds from flocks of remote camera drones and high powered telephoto lenses from atop the tall buildings of the nearby town of Munich, which were just starting to show some details on the advancing Earth Alliance columns. He knew that Cagalli had the exact same sort of access to the intelligence data as he himself did, but lately, Cagalli just demanded that other people fill her in on the pertinent details. Kira did not reply to Cagalli's question, doing his best to ignore the presence of the woman, as much as that was possible anyway. The Earth Alliance vanguard seemed to be made mostly up of their regular ground forces, battalions of main battle tanks and infantry fighting vehicles spread out in dozens of phalanxes behind a light screen of armored personel carriers and lighter all terrain vehicle scout jeeps. Behind that came a staggered line of super-heavy tanks, at least twenty of them in just the first row or two of the loose formation. Looming behind and above the super-heavy tanks were the manta-like forms of Aigaion-class aerial aircraft carriers and various classes of land battleships. Kira couldn't see them, but he surmised that the main infantry troops of the attack force were arrayed behind the landships, waiting with the artillery corps for the assault vehicles to engage the defenses and soften up the defenders before rushing forward to swamp through.
However what he didn't see was any signs of Orb forces among the slowly approaching horde, and precious few Earth Alliance mobile suits as well, save for a few combat construction modified machines hitching rides on the upper surfaces of the landships. He knew they were in the area, Faith had personally confirmed her encounter with them and a Gundam that sounded very much like the Strike, and had tasked a small battalion with tracking the Orb ships for as long as they remained outside their home country. A few days ago, off of the coast of Madagascar, over half the remaining Orb fleet had suddenly disappeared from the ocean, which Kira knew to mean that the Archangel had lifted off and proceeded onwards in hover mode, while the other ships had probably been sunk in one way or another. Kira tried to get inside Murrue's head, both figuratively and literally, and even though it was her past-self, it was somewhat harder than he'd expected it to be. He'd fought under her command for so long, you'd think he'd have a better grasp of her tactical mindset. But then again, he'd never really had to worry about what the Archangel was doing, precisely because Murrue was such an able commander. And with Mu La Flaga, and Kira's past-self there too, there was absolutely no telling what sort of crazy, brilliant plan they were hatching!
"Aww, are you still mad at me, Kira?" Cagalli prodded him verbally, a rictus grin on her face. "Everyone seems so sore over a minor little incident...why so serious?"
"Mad does not even come close to describing how I feel about you right now, Cagalli." Kira replied, after a few moments more of peering at the data feeds. "And that 'minor' incident ended up with one of my friends, who also happens to be one of the most valued and beloved officers in Celestial Being, in a catatonic state because of the trauma you inflicted upon her!"
"How was I supposed to know that Lacus was so fragile? She came to me boasting about how there was no way anything I could do would hurt her, because of what she'd endured in the past. I can't let that sort of challenge go unanswered, Kira, you know that." Cagalli shrugged the Akatsuki's shoulders. "Just goes to show, some people just can't handle gratitude."
"Gratitude!" Kira half turned the Divinity towards the Akatsuki, one of his hands dropping towards the grip of a beam rifle. "You ripped off her clothes, repeatedly raped her, broke her wrists and several other bones, flayed half the skin off her back and clawed most of the rest of her body into bloody wreckage and did something to her mind that made that resilient, loving and carefree girl retreat into herself as a drooling mess for almost a week before she even responded slightly to outside stimuli! She's still in the infirmary, she won't be fully recovered physically until sometime early next year, and she may never recover fully emotionally! You call that gratitude?" Kira shook his head angrily. "I don't know why I'm surprised, this is how you've been lately, Cagalli. I guess I was just deluding myself. But you seemed to get along with her before. I guess you were just lulling her into a state of overconfidence, or something."
"Your rancor wounds me deeply, Kira." Cagalli smirked. "I would have thought you'd be happy."
"We don't have time for this shit." Kira said through gritted teeth.
"Ah, why the sudden change of topic?"
"It's not that." Kira growled. He pointed with the Divinity's right arm, out along the eastern shore of the lake, where a new warship and a group of mobile suits had appeared from the early morning haze, the warship having a very familiar appearance, twin bows projecting forward, a pair of high vertical fins in the rear, a single large wing underneath the central hull and a bridge tower rising up in the middle of the ship. "I see them. The Orb forces. They're over there..."
"You know when the last time I felt this tense before a major engagement was?" Yzak commented, twitching the Duel's right hand near the grip of his beam rifle, his Gundam's feet firmly planted as he stood atop the Archangel's forward deck. Athrun and the Infinite Justice stood to the Duel's left, with Meyrin's custom GuAIZ Experimental Firearms Type to the left of the Justice, while Dearka, Miriallia and the Buster stood behind the ship's superstructure on the rear deck, balancing out the weight with three Gundams in front and the big one in the rear. Flocks of Murasames in mobile armor form flew close range combat air patrols around the Archangel. The Dominion, along with Kira's past-self and his Freedom Gundam, and Mu and his CFA-44 Nosferatu, were still submerged in the lake, heading towards the rear flanks of the enemy main defenses, planning to assault and try and capture the enemy command element to bring the battle to a swift close as soon as the main Earth Alliance force engaged in combat. There was no need for a protracted seige and destructive bombardment, if a lightning surprise assault could cut off the head of the snake, the body would have little choice but to surrender. The only other choice was to fight without leadership, and that was a simple death sentence.
"I can think of any number of times that I've felt this tense." Dearka replied, his voice subdued because of that very tension. Bad enough that he and Miriallia would soon be in life threatening danger. "Mostly against the Archangel and the Strike in the first war."
"The Archangel and the Strike never really got to me." Yzak replied with a shrug of his Gundam's shoulders. "I mean, they got to me a little. But really, the last time I was this nervous about a battle...it was Operation Spitbreak. That was my first real major military deployment, I mean like, front line mass chaos battle. I could never admit it back then, but before the launch order came down, I almost left my cockpit and hid in the ready room. And nobody better say a fucking word! Fear is normal for a soldier, especially a young one! And I didn't happen to have any friends around at the moment, because they were all assholes who either got undeserved promotions or captured by the enemy; it was just me and Le Crueset, and he wasn't exactly a man you just approach with something like that!"
"The last time I was this nervous was the time I deployed against Kira for the first time after we swore that the next time we'd meet, we'd try to kill each other for real." Athrun admitted. "I bet none of you realized it, I was kind of in shock, you probably thought I was just focused or something, but I was shaking so hard inside my flight suit I could barely launch. And then Nicol died and all my fear was replaced with anger and..." Athrun trailed off, the Infinite Justice shaking its head for a moment or two. "I had hoped I'd never have to feel that way again...either because I'd thought I killed him...or because we were on the same side, fighting for the same things, together."
"I hope you don't feel that way again either." Dearka replied, with forced jocularity. "Because there's just the three of us now, so if you do get that feeling you hate that means there's only two of us left, one of which has to be you, and that idea doesn't sit well with me. Especially because one of the other choices involves a dual occupancy Gundam!"
"Could you guys please shut up!" Meyrin demanded, her voice shrill. "This speculation might be touching back in Orb, in a group therapy session at a nice resteraunt. Here, on the battlefield, with the possibility we could be facing off against a future version of Kira who kills people, is not the place I want to think about how likely it could be that we die or how we would feel if our friends died! I want to scream and hide in a corner, believe me, and if I wasn't in this Gundam equivelent mobile suit, I would be doing just that!"
"Hear, hear." Miriallia agreed with finality. "I normally love listening to you guys distress as a group, it's heartwarming what you guys will admit to each other when the chips are down. But we don't know where Kira's future-self is, and what he is doing or feeling. I am scared nearly out of my mind, because unlike you three, I have never had to deal with Kira as an enemy. He's only ever been on my side, protecting me. But even as my friend, as my protector before Dearka stepped up to fill that role, Kira intimidated the hell out of me when I saw his battlefield performance. And he's only ever gotten better and stronger! So lets not talk about what we'd feel if death comes calling, because I can't think about that and still function at the same time. We all have families to get back to, please...let's talk about something else..."
"Crazy weather, isn't it?" Dearka said, after a short pause, even though his voice was still subdued and the attempt at humor fell flat. That had never stopped him before though, and he wasn't about to let it stop him now either. "Have you guys noticed that we never seem to get a battle on a clear, sunny day anymore? It used to happen all the time back when we were first tooling around, but now its always storm clouds and dust and...oh shit!" Dearka's voice cracked. Words failing him, he raised the Buster's left arm, the limb shivering like he was hypothermic, and sent out an electronic ping to the others, showing his point of aim. And the five very recognizable Gundams that were standing half a dozen miles away; the Akatsuki, Destiny, Divinity, Destiny Impulse, and Strike Freedom.
The Divinity Gundam was pointing back at the Archangel, even as the Akatsuki stepped up eagerly and waved a huge clawed hand at them in a taunting gesture, the Destiny combined both of its beam rifles and freed its long range beam cannon, before then moving into a prone position, even as the Destiny Impulse freed a pair of twin buster rifles from its back and moved behind the Destiny, while the Strike Freedom spread its majestic blue wings and took to the air, freeing both of its beam rifles as it began to hover above its allies.
"Fuck me..." Athrun breathed, unable to believe his eyes. They were about to face off against the Akatsuki, Destiny, Divinity, Destiny Impulse, and Strike Freedom. But the Divinity Gundam, the one with the angelic wings, was the one that scared them all. "Fuck me..." Athrun repeated in a strangled tone.
"Okay. I will." Meyrin answered, her tone just as constricted. "As much as you like, in any way you want, Athrun. As long as we go home first. Right now."
"We can't go home. We can't run away from this." Kira's past-self replied from the cockpit of the Freedom Gundam, his heart pounding in his chest until he felt like he was going to pass out.
"Begging your pardon, Kira, but yes we can! We can run away and I want to do it! Now!" Meyrin yelled back hysterically.
"I've never backed down from a fight in my life, and I won't start now." Yzak interrupted her, his voice steely. "Kira is right, this is a confrontation we can't avoid. We can either do it on our terms, or it will come to us when we aren't ready for it. I prefer the former."
"Let me out of this thing then! Let me out!" Meyrin demanded furiously. "I can't fight Kira! I can't! He's too powerful! He'll destroy us!"
"Calm down, now!" Athrun's stern voice, which was coming from a private communications channel, shut her up as effectively as a gag. "That's better. I completely understand your fear. But we can't let it beat us. I'm sorry to do this to you, but I need you by my side or I can't be effective, not really. Trust in me, Meyrin. Trust in me."
For her part, Miriallia was glad that Meyrin had voiced her fear, because it meant that she didn't have to. Judging by the prolonged silence on the communications line, she figured that Athrun and Meyrin were most likely having it out on a private channel.
"Are we agreed?" Yzak finally asked, after a few more seconds of silence.
"We're agreed." Miriallia replied at once.
"Yes, we're with you too." Athrun added, the tone in his voice daring anyone to question Meyrin's breakdown. No one would. No one could, if anything, she'd just been the most honest of all of them.
"Lead us, Athrun." Yzak said. "Kira is a friend to all of us...but you and he, well..."
"I know." Athrun replied, feathering his thrusters, lifting the Justice off the ship's deck as it slowly drifted to a halt, having reached its pre-battle readiness position, the crew standing at alert as targeting solutions were plotted against the five Celestial Being Gundams. "Last time it was him who got through to me and got me walking on the right path. It's about time I returned the favor." He switched to a broad channel addressing all the Orb forces. "We're going to talk with him. Keep all weapons powered up but not aimed, and be ready for evasive maneuvers in an instant. If things get ugly, shoot to kill. We cannot take chances with these two Gundams, any hesitations, any at all, and you will die. But no one will fire until I give the order, or unless attacked. And even then, I would urge you to carefully consider what you regard as an attack, because again, if this escalates into an armed conflict...well...you've all been briefed on them. So, I don't need to tell you how bad it could get." Without waiting for an acknowledgement, Athrun sent the Justice jetting towards the five Celestial Being Gundams, flanked shortly afterwards by the GuAIZ, the Duel and the Buster.
It was a short flight, too short for Athrun's liking, he still hadn't managed to calm his heart down or clear his dry and cracked throat by the time he landed, barely a long stone's throw away from the Divinity. The Divinity took a half step forward, putting itself between the Orb Gundams and the Celestial Being Gundam, who seemed content enough for the moment to stand back and observe the situation unfold. Kira, if that was Kira, and Athrun knew it was, seemed to be waiting for Athrun to make the first move. 'We are the ones that drove him away after all, it should be us that makes the apology first.' Athrun reminded himself.
"Kira..." Athrun said, before choking on the rest of his sentence.
"Athrun." Kira didn't seem to be having any trouble speaking, though his tone was curt and cool.
"I...We, I mean...we're sorry, Kira." Athrun managed to blurt out. "We were wrong to not believe in you...we were..."
"Yes, you are sorry." Kira replied, his tone becoming slightly edged. "You ought to be."
"Damn it, Kira!" Athrun finally found the key to speaking, to let go of his normal tight emotional control. "I'm trying to apologize to you, there's no need for you to make this harder than it is!"
Kira sighed, but for the life of him he was finding it hard to muster the desire for this conversation. He'd been dreading this moment for weeks, but now...now he was just tired of it, already. The apology was expected, but Athrun couldn't really think it would make any difference now, could he? Kira was sorry too, but even so, it couldn't change what the current situation was. "I understand your apology, Athrun. I'm glad you've realized the true scale of the mistake you all made. But...what difference does it make? You're sorry...I'm sorry...we're all sorry...but it doesn't matter now. As much as we might want them to, things cannot go back to the way they were."
"What are you trying to say, Kira?" Athrun demanded in reply. "That it's hopeless? That the apology is meaningless? Am I not your friend, despite the mistakes I've made, despite the mistakes you've made? Am I not your friend, Kira?"
"I don't know anymore, Athrun." Kira answered in a dead tone. "I'd like it if we were still friends, but so much shit is between us now...we are standing on opposite sides of a line in the sand. Of my line in the sand. I never dreamed, in my worst nightmares, that this would happen to us again, not after the first time. But after what happened to my children during my last visit to Orb, I've come to realize...my worst nightmares were just the beginning..."
"You can come back any time you want, Kira! We know who committed those crimes now!" Athrun did his best not to look at the Excalibur, silently floating above and behind Kira, though that was pretty damned hard. "No one will blame you for what happened. You were right, we were wrong and we want to show you that we acknowledge that. Please, Kira, come back to Orb with us. Everyone misses you."
"And do you know who I miss, Athrun?" Kira said, his voice creaking with self control. "I miss my children. I miss Akira. I miss Aoi. Both of whom were murdered in an act of sensless violence while at the Orb National Mall!"
"They are dead. I'm sorry, Kira. Your children were as precious to me and Meyrin as our own children. But they are dead, Kira. We can only miss them now, and try to move on with life. I can't say I know how you feel., but we're your family, Kira, even when we mess up royally. We love you, and we can forgive you for anything, as long as you can forgive us too!" Athrun's eyes were hot and stinging, unabashedly crying as he pleaded with his friend from the bottom of his heart.
"You can forgive me anything?" Kira's tone was so sharp that Athrun physically recoiled, wondering how he'd managed to make Kira angry. "What have I done to you that requires your forgiveness?"
"What do you think!" Yzak suddenly cut in, his voice furious, as the Duel pointed accusingly over Kira's shoulder, at the warship Excalibur. "You're telling me that just because you lost your children to some random murderer, you're suddenly allowed to go around carelessly wielding that kind of power and not expect us to try and stop you!" Yzak bellowed, the Duel taking a step forward until its path was blocked by the Justice's desperate arm. "You're a human being, Kira!"
"A human being? A human being!" Kira spat back with a bitter and sarcastic laugh. "According to the Earth Allaince, I am not a human being either. Neither are Lacus, Hope, Cagalli, Murrue or Mayu. None of us are human. None of the over six million people living onboard the ship floating above us...none of them are human, not according to the Earth Alliance! According to those assholes, none of us have even a single human right, because we aren't human to them, we are classified as illegal medical experiments! They can and have done anything they want to us, anything at all! This is not a war of reclamation, this is a war of genocide and extermination, and you are siding with the people committing the genocide! You are saying, just by standing where you are right now, that it is okay for them to do whatever they want to Coodinators, to members of your own race, even a child, including torturing them and killing them, because we aren't humans, as defined by your shitty leadership! I'm not the one who needs forgiveness...you're the ones who need to beg forgiveness...not from me, but from each and every one of the millions of bereaved parents and siblings and children who have had their families stolen away at gunpoint by the Earth Alliance, simply because they weren't lucky enough to be evacuated into space with the rest of you and they didn't die from the radation from GENESIS! These people...my people...are being persecuted and exterminated simply because we didn't do what the Earth Alliance propoganda said had to happen! Simply because we don't fit into the world as imagined by those buttfucks!"
"Planning to drop weapons of mass destruction on Orb isn't the way to protest that though!" Athrun shouted back. "Orb was, is and always has been a peaceful nation that has done whatever it can to help those in need even when it costs us dearly to do so! You are a human being, as human as I am, if not moreso! But the solution to violence isn't more violence, Kira, we have fought side by side in countless wars during the last few millenia in order to prove that very point! You may not like it, but the fact is that we were considering joining the Alliance, and you attacked us without warning, detonating a nuclear bomb in civilian territory, killing hundreds, including Erica Simmons, who we found with her decapitated head skewered on a sign post with a taunting message written beneath it! Orb does not interfere in the affairs of other nations, and we do not allow other nations to interfere in ours...I know that isn't currently the case but we are working on legally attaining independence from the Alliance, you know that. We don't attack other nations. We don't allow other nations to attack us. You attacked us. This is your war, Kira."
"No. I agree that attacking Orb was stupid, but this is not my war. I did not start this shit, I simply escalated it. Orb and the Earth Alliance just joined a war that has been raging for millions of years already. A covert war between peaceful groups of people who just want to live their lives and raise their families in a world that is already far too hostile to human life as is, without interference; and a select group of people in the Earth Alliance who, because of their own stupidity, cannot accept the existence of Coordinators, any more than Blue Cosmos could accept them, and for the same damn reason. Because they are so fucking stupid they fear, irrationally, that we intend to replace them, dominate them, and make them somehow obsolete. Because there is money and power to be had in the hating and persecution of us Coordinators." Kira snarled as he pointed up at the Excalibur.