Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.
I apologize for the delay in posting. Life has been crazy. In addition, I'm now serving as a beta over on Twilighted, as I feel it is only right to pay back a little of the time others have given. In doing that I've had to divide my attention some. In addition, I just couldn't get parts of this chapter right – there are a ton of rewrites in my trash as we speak. Maybe the length will make it up to you. Hope you enjoy!
Aro POV
Carlisle stood at the edge of the battlement, his son at his side. I heard a brief mention of the wall but didn't clearly catch everything. My confusion was rectified as I saw Edward lower himself over the edge, and as I came to Carlisle's side, I saw him scurrying like an expert rock climber toward Isabella's balcony. I couldn't help but chuckle at his youthful exuberance. Carlisle turned to me and his glorious smile figuratively "took my breath away." This was not going to be a comfortable conversation.
"Would you accompany me to my suite so that we can speak?" I asked sincerely. Carlisle stunned me by lacing his arm through mine and starting in that direction.
"Aro, your regime…it flourishes under your direction," he said, watching the guard rush around us as we walked through the hallways.
"Business is good," I said, and he laughed at my pat answer. "Truly, I am grateful that you are here to take on some of the responsibilities. I would think that the investments in the medical arenas will interest you the most, but there is so much more. Honestly, I have contemplated that we are overextended. Our holdings have grown so vast, and I worry that the properties are falling into disrepair." I stopped for a moment, seeing Esme's face race through his mind. Hmm…his mate's expertise in property management could definitely find a welcome place in the Guard. It was almost too much at times for even my multifaceted brain to consider. "I grow weary of the chaos of it all. Perhaps, I'm just getting old."
"I think that is it exactly," he murmured in mock seriousness, elbowing me in the ribs, jostling me playfully.
Within a minute we were in my and Sulpicia's private suite, a fire going in the hearth. Carlisle waited, sitting on the couch with his characteristic patience for me to start.
I sat beside him and took a deep, unnecessary breath before I finally asked the question I had wanted to for centuries to voice. "Carlisle, why did you leave me?"
He took my hand, allowing me to see the memories I'd already pilfered from his mind, but he did it in order that I see the specific ones he was referring to.
"I was enraptured with you. I was feeling things for Sulpicia that weren't appropriate for me to feel toward a married woman. Your seduction had worked, Aro," he paused, letting his memories wash over me…the feeling of decadence that he'd experienced. The completion he'd felt with us in regards to everything other than our feeding practices.
He allowed me to see what he'd discussed with Edward…the joy at the tours of the art galleries and the many symphonies we'd attended. The effect of the beauty and splendor of our world upon him. More seductive than anything, he allowed me to see how he'd absorbed the knowledge we'd gained over the thousands of years and the pleasure that had coursed through him at Sulpicia's gentle touches.
"That day at court…the day you touched me…I realized my time for indecision was up. I made the only decision that I was capable of making at that time."
I gasped, feeling the agony Carlisle had experienced as he lingered in the streets of nearby Florence and the final moment of decision as he turned and ran from us.
"I also fell into despair as well, Carlisle. I'd never harbored feelings or desired anyone as a mate other than Sulpicia, and I haven't since. I was as confused about it as you at first, but when I finally decided to address my concerns with Sulpicia, she admitted to her own intrigue. With her accord, I devised the plan to make you want us as much as we wanted you. When you left, I ordered Demetri and Felix to go after you, ignoring the wishes you'd indicated in the note you left. Sulpicia went behind me and countermanded the order."
Carlisle looked at me in astonishment, unbelieving that she would do such a thing and that the two guards had actually listened, risking their annihilation.
"Yes, I was dumbfounded as well. Their words saved them. Felix said 'I have been placed in an untenable situation, between my master and my mistress. It is only appropriate that I would approach the two of you for clarification.' He later went on to tell me, 'Carlisle will return if he is meant to, Aro.' He is a good man, Carlisle."
"I am familiar with Felix's strengths, Aro. That doesn't mean I want him to destroy my son, for losing Bella will certainly do that."
"Yes, I understand…as you know I made a vow long ago to never meddle in affairs of the heart again. I may manipulate the situation as much as possible to benefit the Volturi, but I will not force the decision either way."
"I know."
"I almost went back on that vow with you though; your leaving was excruciating for me. I am eternally grateful that Sulpicia stepped in and thought logically when I could not. However, I never gave up on the hope that you would come back to me as Felix suggested."
Carlisle looked to me, and I saw the agony on his face as he attempted to determine how to word his thoughts. I knew I'd lost before he even opened his mouth.
"Aro, that is not my world. I am not a prude; it isn't that you are a man. It is that you were already mated. It is not within me to be involved in a relationship such as what you proposed, no matter any desire I might have harbored for you or Sulpicia. It was seductive at the time; I will admit it. But it was not the call of a mate. Now that I have found Esme, I understand the difference. She is my world…she completes me. We are still very much in the flush of new love…"
"You have been mated for more than three quarters of a century!" I said, incredulously.
"AND?" he responded raising his eyebrows at me, and we both burst out laughing.
Carlisle leaned his head back against the couch, rubbing his eyes with his fists, relieving the sting from the venom.
"My feelings have not changed, but I will do my best to respect your wishes, Carlisle. I cannot promise that I will be totally successful," I admitted honestly, mesmerized by the picture of his body splayed out in abandon across from me.
"I wouldn't expect any less, Aro. I won't even ask for your guarantee for your fair treatment of myself and my family if things do not resolve in the manner you would like. I already know that you will do that. You have my highest esteem, even if you manipulated this all to get me here," he responded, lowering his hands and rolling his head to look at me.
I could only grin at him. It was true, and I wouldn't even insult his intelligence by implying any differently.
"Your friendship, it is very…valuable…to me," I struggled to come up with a more appropriate word than "valuable" but it just wouldn't come in the moment. "I am glad to know that the primary reason you left was because of my pursuit. It helps me to understand, to know what I need to do differently," I said having decided to leave this conversation on a positive note. I would have to be very careful with Carlisle. He would stay and do the time he was obligated to do, but I wanted more than just his regard and allegiance…things I knew I already had.
"I've sent Demetri to escort Isabella to meet with the young shape shifter before he leaves. I would suspect we need to make our way there so that you can say your goodbyes."
"I am surprised, Aro. I would have thought you would have planned more time to seduce me in between coming to get me and the time we would need to be downstairs to say goodbye to Jacob."
I shook my head softly, smiling at the same time. "It was all a part of my plan, Carlisle. If you turned me down, as I knew you would, we had just enough time to speak. If my desires were rewarded, I had just enough time to give you a taste of passion and have it interrupted leaving you wanting more. But I fear your wife, so I figured a taste would be enough before I garnered her approval." I said cheekily.
"She would obliterate you if you touched me," he stated seriously, but the twinkle in his eyes belayed the true nature behind his statement.
"I believe that she devil would do exactly that."
A knock on the door let me know that Isabella and young Jacob were together. "Carlisle, let us locate your family; we'll await our young friends in the garage.
He stayed my movement for a moment, by placing his hand on my arm. "Thank you for taking care of Bella."
"It has been my pleasure…she is my daughter in every sense, Carlisle. She also accused me of only keeping her to get to you, but you must know something…I enjoy her company. Her defense of you won my esteem immediately."
"Will you allow her to leave with us, if she so chooses?" he asked seriously.
I turned him toward the door, and we began walking again. "Why must you assume you'll leave again? I will not force the issue regarding your feeding. So the first reason you would leave is gone. If after your service is done you want to minister to the humans around us, we can find you a post at a local hospital. Your children, all of them, including the non-gifted ones, have a place in the Guard, and they may decide as some others have to stay here permanently. Why don't we see if your time here doesn't turn into something more before we worry about that issue?"
Marcus met us at the door to his room. "I thought I would accompany you."
Carlisle smiled over at Marcus, who smirked at me and the fact that my arm was linked with Carlisle's again. I didn't have to be a mind reader to read his humor that I'd moved so fast.
I had little control when it came to things I wanted. For now, I was satisfied that Carlisle and his family were firmly entrenched and that the shape shifter, who made me slightly apprehensive, was leaving. I would worry about the rest later.
Jacob POV
Edward and I walked slowly through the halls, making our way toward Bella. I was trying not to break down. Sam had called to check up on me, and after speaking to Carlisle and learning Bella's status, the Alpha had ordered me home. I wanted to howl at his interference. What little sane part of me was left argued with my irrationality. 'What good could I do now anyway?' it seemed to say. But my heart wouldn't listen. My heart wanted Bella.
Edward had reeked of her, when he came back through the doors into their quarters. I'd just returned from a long walk in the city. I'd needed time to think away from the stench and concern of Esme and the others. My contemplation hadn't brought me closer to the answer I wanted; I'd only seen the futility. I knew that Edward was going to fight for her in earnest, so I shouldn't have been surprised by his state. His brothers' comments made everything obvious. A part of me raged that he'd touched her, but that other part was grateful that he was wizening up. I'd rather know that he had Bella than the other bloodsucker.
Wasn't there a way…any way?
"Jacob, you know it is an impossibility. I'm not saying this because I'm hoping to win Bella's heart…which I am, trust me…but because there isn't a way. One slip and you could die, and I truly don't know how the two of you would get over the smell and the instinctual repulsion. I wish I could make this right for you…for her."
"I know," was all I could say.
When we arrived in the gardens, he sat on the bench beside me, clasping his hands together. I put the pack carrying my clothes and belongings beside us. I was a man, so frilly and pretty things didn't usually impress me, but even I had to admit the grounds were beautiful. It was spring, and color was everywhere. Unlike the nature around my house though, it was eerily quiet. Only butterflies were brave enough to venture into this garden. Didn't…
"Butterflies and other insects have blood, but it isn't red like mammals. It doesn't have the same proteins, making it completely intolerable for us, so therefore they don't have the fear of us that animals do," he answered me.
"Huh!" was my brilliant reply. I bet he'd studied all that at some time during the past.
"Do you want me to stay with you, Jacob? I'm not certain how Bella is going to react. I'd hate for her to accidentally bite you in her anger."
"I don't think Bella could ever hurt me, crazy vampire newborn behavior or not. No, I need to see her, Edward. To say goodbye…alone," I said as pain lanced through me. Perhaps it would be better if she bit me now and got it over with, either way I was going to die. Maybe the quick excruciating death would be better than the lingering slow death I was facing without her in my life.
Edward hissed at my thoughts. "I do not believe I will leave you alone while you contemplate such things."
An initial reaction would be to say, "What the hell do you care?" But in reality, Edward had become a friend of mine, not as close as Embry or Quil, but a friend still the same. I would oddly miss him.
"I will miss you as well," came his soft reply.
"Edward…how long are you going to have to stay here? And the family?"
He cocked his head, and I realized he was listening to see who was close. "I hope that Aro will release the family after the obligatory seven years; that is generally the term most serve. I will be here for the rest of my existence. Bella will probably never leave, and I will stay here with her…if I'm lucky."
He worded it very oddly. I wondered what he wasn't saying, but he continued talking, keeping me from asking.
"Jacob, I will always be in your debt, for what you did for Bella while I was not there. I know this did not turn out the way either of us had planned, and I sincerely regret that. I would be honored to still continue to call you friend."
He reached inside his back pocket and took out several items and handed them to me. A set of keys and a cell phone.
"What the hell…"
"The cell phone is automatically paid out of an account. It has text messaging and email capacity. It is mine, but I doubt I'll be using it much here. The only individuals who have the number are my family. The email account is located on the owner tab, and everyone's numbers are already preprogrammed. I thought it might be a good way for you to stay in touch with us. I'll email a new number for me and…Bella."
"The key is for the Volvo…"
"I can't take your car," I said harshly, interrupting him.
"You have to get home from the airport, Jacob. You'll find some money over the visor and an extra key to Carlisle's Mercedes. I ask that you go back and pick it up and return it to the Forks home. Carlisle and Esme will be asking Aro to allow them to travel there to secure the house, but I don't want his vehicle remaining in parking that long."
"I'll pick them up if they will call," I indicated, knowing I would do anything for the Doc. "That still doesn't mean I'm going to take your car, Edward."
"I have another, Jacob. But Bella was preferential to the Volvo, I would like to know it is still being used. I'll have Carlisle forge my signature while he is there to have the title changed over. One way or the other, it will be yours. Please take it; it will mean a lot to me. I may never see you again, Jacob. You know that, right?"
I froze with that realization. A slight gasp was my only reaction. I really hadn't thought this through, focusing more on being able to speak with Bella than what it would mean about the members of the family that had become dear to me.
"You are a good man, Jacob Black. Don't ever forget that," he said, a solemn look on his face.
I started to say something further, but we were distracted by the door across the way opening. Bella appeared with one of the vampire guards escorting her. Her skin sparkled in the light as she walked into patches of sunlight that filtered through the trees. She was beautiful, and both Edward and I gasped at the sight. God, I hated him for a few moments, the thought that he would possibly hold her, while I went without. He was wise enough to rise at that thought and walk across the area to meet them halfway.
"Demetri, Jacob would like to speak with Bella alone," Edward said in a voice that left little to debate. Then, he looked down to our love. "Bella, Love, will that be okay?"
She shuddered, hearing her name from his lips, and I wondered just exactly what had happened between them. She didn't meet his gaze. He attempted to cover up a slight grin but wasn't totally successful.
"Jake and I will be fine; please leave."
Demetri looked down at her. "Isabella?"
"I'll be fine," was her emphatic response.
"Bella, I would like for Jacob to come closer to make sure that you can handle the sound of his heartbeat and the smell of his blood."
She actually hissed at Edward, which inordinately pleased me, and I couldn't help but chuckle. Bella looked up at me and smirked. If I could ignore the blood red eyes, I would have sworn she was still human…she was still my Bella. The ache throbbed, and I had to look down.
"The beat of his heart is appealing, but the smell all but eliminates any thirst I might have, Edward. It is fine." I heard her say. Her tone brokered even less argument than Edward's had.
"Very well, love. Demetri, shall we give them privacy? Bella, Jacob, I'll wait inside the hallway. I know that Aro has arranged for transportation to the airport."
The faint click of the door was the only indication we were alone.
Bella POV
Jacob kept his head down following Edward and Demetri's exit. I didn't know what to say. Finally, he looked up.
"Bells …" his voice came out roughly, and tears filled his eyes. He looked back down and the tears flowed down his face.
I couldn't stand to see Jacob suffer. I never could. Forgetting everything and ignoring the instinct to slaughter him, I sat down and leaned against him, wrapping my arm around his waist and laying my check against the flaming heat of his arm. "Jacob, are you sick again? You're burning up like before."
He chuckled through his sobs, beginning to regain control. "No. But, we'll get around to the explanation soon enough."
Then, I remembered his last words to me, and I slowly began to withdraw. He must have realized what was happening because he squeezed my hand and looked at me with agony in his warm brown eyes. "Bella, please don't withdraw from me just yet." He ducked his head down to catch my eyes, and then he smiled my Jacob's smile. "'Kay…" he added.
"Bella, I am so happy we found you. I can't even begin to tell you how much. I wished we could have before what happened…happened." He shook himself, as if to dispel a bad dream. "I said some things the day you left that I need to rectify immediately. But before I tell you, I need to show you something. Something I wasn't allowed to share back then that caused the misunderstanding."
I had been watching him out of the corner of my eye and saw him turn to face me. I looked at him. I was struck dumb by how handsome he was. The baby fat was gone, and in its place, his angular face was striking.
"Bella, do you remember the story that I told you about the Quileutes and their ancestry?"
When I didn't answer, he looked at me. "I'm sorry, Jake, some of my memories are gone. Can you please give me a little more to go on?"
"The day we went to First Beach I talked to you about our legends." He encouraged.
I searched desperately, pushing at the barriers I felt in my mind. Snippets of giggling and faint visions of bodies running around flew through my conscience. I grasped at something, a vision of a younger smiling Jacob…his face free of anger and shadows and long silky black hair. "Then there are the stories about the cold ones." I remembered then and nodded my head, letting him know. Jacob had unknowingly helped me figure out what Edward was with that story…what I was.
"I told you then that many of our elders claimed we descended from wolves."
I remembered. Jacob had scoffed at the legends as if he felt they were silly. But, I had later questioned many of those legends as I realized that the Cold Ones really did exist.
"Well, I was wrong to take them so lightly Bella. I found that out the night I returned from the movie theater. Do you remember that evening?"
I nodded slowly. It was dim, but I remembered a stupid movie, Jacob, and another teenager…I couldn't remember his name.
Jacob continued on. "My life changed that day in so many ways. First, I realized that I just might have a chance of winning your heart…"
My body jerked slightly.
"… and then later that night, my hopes were crushed. I fell sick…the fever."
I looked at him in confusion. I hadn't even spoken to Jacob that evening as he had been too sick. I did remember that much.
"Bella, I'm about to show you something that might upset you, but I'm asking that you remain calm. I think my explanation and apologies might go over better if you know my little secret."
I looked at him, perplexed. Jacob didn't keep secrets. I was the secretive one…the crazy one…I believed I saw Jacob turn into a huge wolf.
"And by the way, when I go behind you, don't feel scared. I'll just need a moment of privacy, okay?" He reached into his pack and took out a pair of sweat pants, throwing them behind me. He took off his socks and shoes and then his shirt.
I lost my breath looking at his torso. Where the hell had my Jake gone? This was a man, a seriously ripped man, standing in front of me. I wondered if he was going to take his pants off as well. Part of me was nervous, and the other part wanted him to go ahead. I chastised myself internally. What the …
He looked up and grinned when he caught the look on my face. "Don't worry, Bella. I won't strip totally, well, unless you want me to?" he challenged. I remained totally silent.
He shrugged his shoulders.
"Okay, remember, don't freak out.'
Ok, enough with all the warnings. I was getting a little frustrated. Just go ahead and tell me what you wanted to say. I ranted internally and took a deep breath…I couldn't lose control. I'd kill him.
Jake stood in front of me, and it looked like his body started to shudder, like fine vibrations running across him. Then, in a flash, I saw shreds of his pants fly everywhere, and before me stood the largest wolf I'd ever seen. It stood as tall as a horse. I froze, my vampire nature wanting to leap and destroy. The wolf stood perfectly still, never moving but looking at me with solemn eyes. It took only a second for me to understand. Another legend claims that we descended from wolves…
What kind of world was this? Where myths and legends really did exist? I heard Jake whine a little and slump to the ground. My silence must have disturbed him. He began crawling over to me, obviously believing that I was scared.
"S'kay Jake. Hold on a moment. I'm attempting to calm myself." The thing froze.
I looked up to see Edward standing in the doorway, ready to leap to one of our defense. I wasn't quite sure whose though… I shook my head quickly, letting him know I was okay. I took unnecessary breaths in a human like attempt to calm myself as he nodded to me and walked out the door. Damn that man was messing with my head. He was seriously trusting me to take care of this?
I held my hand out to Jacob-wolf-thing, and he scurried over and leaned against my legs with his back, keeping his head away from me. He obviously thought this would make me feel more comfortable. It also made him vulnerable, my predator mind noted. His fur was reddish brown, coarse, and very thick almost like for protection. What had happened? When did this happen? There were so many questions I needed answered.
"Um … Jake can you make yourself human again? I need to ask questions, obviously."
The wolf stood, and I was a little startled to realize I couldn't see over his body from my sitting position. What would happen if we fought, I wondered, as every instinct within me wanted to shred him to pieces. Rage and love scored through my body, warring with each other. Maybe Edward should have stayed…. Jacob went around behind me, and I remembered his words that he would need privacy. I turned to ask why and got a good eyeful of why. If I thought his abs were chiseled, they had nothing on his ass. Oh my…I was just grateful he had his back to me and didn't realize I had just caught him putting on his pants. My whole body felt like it was on fire. I was grateful that my heart couldn't beat from the experience, or I would have gotten caught.
Jake came back around and grabbed his shirt, putting it on, and then his socks and shoes. I stayed silent.
"How? What?" I babbled.
He bowed his head bashfully and spent the next few minutes telling me about his transformation, the resulting change in body heat, and smell.
"The night of the movie was my first time. I freaked out, but Sam and my father were there when it happened. Dad realized what was about to occur and called Sam and the boys over. I couldn't tell you; Sam swore me to silence, and as the Alpha his directions are the final word. He told me that I was dangerous to you. But don't blame him for anything. He was operating on his guilt over Emily and what happened with her…he slipped and hurt her. And honestly, I was angry with you as well. Because you had taken up with them, even knowing what they were."
"But why do you need to turn into a werewolf, Jake?" I asked more confused than anything.
He looked into my eyes. "We aren't really werewolves, Bella. Aro calls us shape shifters. We are the protectors of our tribe. We transform when there is a threat. We are designed solely for one purpose…" he paused and grabbed my hand, "…and that is to kill vampires."
I sucked in my breath, and then gasped out, "WHAT?" I tore my hand from his and was across the garden crouched against a wall in a blink of a human eye. "EDWARD!" I screamed out afraid my nature would win out, for at that moment I wanted nothing more to kill Jacob…before he could touch me first. Edward appeared instantaneously and crouched at my side, smoothing one hand down my arm in an attempt to comfort me. Jacob sat on the bench, his eyes rounded out. I struggled to control myself and turned to stare wildly into Edward's eyes. His free hand cupped my face, his thumb circling across my skin, gently distracting me.
"He will not hurt you Bella. He has as much as lived with us for the past few months. I have no fear for you or us." He gazed solemnly into my eyes for many minutes. When the black in my eyes faded back into red, he realized I was finally under control again. Jacob had wisely remained quiet during the interaction.
"Do you need me to stay?" Edward asked a few minutes later, again demonstrating his trust in me by asking my thoughts.
I couldn't answer, but I shook my head 'No.' Edward smiled slightly and escorted me back over to Jacob. I chose that time to sit on the ground before him, versus sitting with him on the small bench.
Jacob acted as if nothing had happened and started where he'd left off. "The gene doesn't get activated until there is an imminent threat. So it can go for generations without manifesting itself. But when the Cullens moved back from Alaska, our destiny was set."
Wait, what? The Cullens, but they weren't a threat. He read the emotions pass over my face.
"I now know the Cullens are different from…" he paused, realizing what he was about to say, but continuing anyway, "…other vampires, but obviously the gene doesn't differentiate. I hated them, particularly Edward at first. I blamed him for everything. I attempted to destroy him the day you left. I almost ripped his arm off when he threw himself at my feet. But Sam stopped me."
Jacob stared at the flowers before him, lost in his thoughts. I stared at him, imagining the wolf I had just seen tearing into Edward's arm. My breath expelled, and he looked at me quickly.
"Why would he do that?" I croaked.
"Because like me, he thought you were dead. He wanted me to destroy him."
I couldn't wrap my head around what Jacob was saying, or the reality that Edward would have wanted to die.
"Bella, I was mad which doesn't excuse what I said. I lashed out, and I'm sorry. I thought I would have the chance to apologize. I never dreamed you would leave. Now because of words, spoken in haste, I've lost you forever."
"I don't understand," I said again, like a damn broken record.
"Venom is poisonous to us. One slip and I would die a horrible lingering death…or at least that is what the legends and Carlisle say. I've wondered if it would be worth it…just to kiss you once." He pushed his head down into his hands, and I saw the rivers of tears start dripping down his arms to the ground.
I felt a throbbing pain where my dead heart was. Jacob, my sun, my best friend, the man that I could admit now to loving, was hurting. We could never be…our fates were sealed…apart from each other.
"Jake," my voice came out gruffly. "I'm so sorry…I wished I'd known. God, I was such an idiot. I should have stayed home, and none of this would have happened. I'm to blame as much as you. But you're right, we can't change anything." I barely got it out before I broke down in sobs.
I felt the burn of his arms surround me as he reached down to pull me in his lap, and I ended up with my face buried into his scalding chest. I sobbed out his name, as I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"Sh…Bella. Sh…" he attempted to comfort me, but it was hard when I could feel the burn of his tears hitting my shoulders.
I heard Aro and Carlisle approach Edward in the hallway. It would seem that whatever transportation had been made was now here. NO! I shouted inside. It's too soon, not yet. I needed Jacob right now. I needed to speak with him about this all. He heard it as well, and I felt his arms tighten around me.
I knew that we had only seconds before we would be separated, he obviously knew as well.
I felt his hands along the sides of my face, turning me to him. Then, before I knew what he was doing, Jacob's lips softly feathered across mine. My mouth gaped open out of shock, but Jacob, knowing the danger, didn't take advantage of the situation, withdrawing slightly. I closed my eyes and lips again and savored the gentle brush of his lips against mine one last time.
He leaned his head against mine. "I have dreamed about kissing you for so long." He opened his eyes and looked into mine. "Even my wildest dreams didn't do that justice."
"Bells. I know I don't have any rights over you, or any say in your life. But…" He leaned back and squirmed nervously before saying, "…Edward really loves you. I've seen him suffer immensely over the past months. You can be very stubborn at times. We've all made mistakes. Don't make them worse by holding a grudge against him."
My mouth popped open in disbelief as he continued. "I know…I know…last person you expected to hear it from. I remember clearly what you looked like when you came out of the forest. What you looked like when Sam found you…the wolves have a collective conscience…nothing is sacred. But, I've seen the other side now…and truly I don't blame him from trying to protect you from all this. These new people, I won't say they haven't attempted to take care of you, but I know the Cullens' hearts."
"Jacob," I started to tell him again just how sorry I was, but he covered my mouth with his hand.
"Bella, let it go. I want you to know, you will always have a place with me…always. I love you…I always will." He paused, pain racing across his face before continuing. "If you need to get away from this…I will find a way to make it work. Forks and La Push will always be your home. Sam cannot keep me away from you if we are together. And don't worry about Charlie; he will be treated as my father. He will never want for anything; I promise. I'll be the one to give him the news, and I'll watch over him during his grief."
I sobbed louder, knowing that he meant it…
"Jacob, your ride is here," Carlisle spoke gently from beside us. I looked up into his sorrow filled eyes and felt Jacob's arms slowly loosen.
The walk through the castle to the covered garage was too quick, and I almost felt like I was hyperventilating. I clung to Jake's burning hand as fear and sadness weighed heavily upon me. My anxiety only increased when I saw all the Cullens standing in the area to see Jacob away. It was the first time I'd seen them together since I'd acted like a newborn and ripped into them. He pulled me with him, stopping before Alice first.
"Short fry…it has been a blast. If I had to be stuck in the back of a Mercedes for months with a reeking vampire, I'm glad it was you."
Alice's eyes widened and took on an uncharacteristic sheen. "Jacob…once I was over your smell…I can say it has only been a privilege." I saw Jasper flinch as the tiny vampire stepped close to Jacob, pulled him down by his shirt collar, and quickly kissed his cheek. Jacob blushed deeply.
Carlisle came next, and I noticed Aro and Marcus at one side, Esme to the other. "Jacob, I thank you for everything. Please tell Sam that we appreciate all his help and that we will continue to honor the treaty. Please give your father our regards. Ephraim would be proud of his legacy." Carlisle seemed to be saying more with his words, and I wondered what I had missed.
Esme reached over and squeezed Jacob's arm affectionately. It was a short but emotionally laden caress.
"Carlisle, I appreciate your willingness to take on a hot headed young man. Edward has given me his phone; therefore I will be but a call away if there is anything needed." Jacob replied and winked softly at Esme.
I saw the rest of the family look at Edward in question as Jake pulled us in front of him. Neither one of them said anything. Jake extended his hand to Edward, and I was astonished when Edward didn't hesitate to grasp Jacob's hand between both of his. I wanted to know what silent conversation Jacob had with Edward; it was evident that it was occurring. The silence of the moment only accentuated the depth of emotion between them. Jacob finally turned, breaking away from Edward to survey the Mercedes. It was one that I'd never seen before though.
Jacob enlightened me with a name. "Damn…a Maybach. At least, I'm going out in style."
I heard the muffled chuckles of Emmett and Jasper behind me. Men and their cars. It reminded me of something. "Jake," I gasped. "My truck..."
"The Beast is at Charlie's, Bella. I think I'll buy it back from him if he will let me. It has too many memories to just let it go now."
Time stood still, the panic hitting me. Jacob was leaving me…possibly forever. It had been easier the first time around because I had my anger to bolster me. This time, there was nothing but sadness and grief. I couldn't let go of his hand, and it was clear to everyone that I was struggling.
"Bella, remember what I said," he told me softly, drawing me in to place a kiss to my forehead. I grabbed his shirt holding him to me.
"Jake…I love you too…I can't…I need…" then I stopped because there was nothing else that could be said.
I felt him hug me tightly in response to my words, before he let go. When the door shut on the car, it was as if I heard a coffin lid close. The pain lanced through me, and I fell to my knees, arms around my chest, as Jacob drove out of my life. The windows were darkly tinted, but my vampire sight allowed me to see his hand pressed to the glass as he watched me, great rivers of tears running down his face as they pulled away.
I heard several individuals hiss Edward's name, and I realized that he must have been attempting to get to me. But, I relaxed as Marcus scooped me up and started toward my room.
Marcus POV
Isabella paced in front of the fireplace, her hair whipping around her as she turned. When she'd dropped to her knees in grief, I'd been concerned she would fall into a state of despair. She was always surprising me though, never doing what I expected. Instead, she was mad, huffing under her breath as she paced furiously. In effect, her situation wasn't so far removed from my own. My mate was forever lost to me, and she was torn between a multitude of appropriate options. Her confusion kept her unsettled.
So many choices…
Aro had slyly hinted that even I should consider mating with her, exposing the thought I was attempting to keep hidden. For in fact, I'd considered it. Isabella reminded me immensely of Didyme, and she was the first person to spark any interest within me. She was glorious, fire shooting from her crimson eyes, hands clenched in fury. I was dead, but I wasn't that dead. She'd brought laughter to the castle, and the change within my brother-in-law was startling. She'd brought new life to him…to us. I could still see the fire in her brown eyes before the red-headed vampire had shoved her. When she'd said the portrait over the mantel looked familiar, I thought she was going to indicate it looked like an ancestor of hers. With the long dark hair, chocolate colored eyes, and heart shaped face, Isabella could have been a descendant of both Aro and Didyme's family. Even her name Isabella Marie hinted at Sicilian roots.
The human Isabella could have been the modern Mona Lisa. A face that at first one might pass over, but upon closer inspection you would find layers of depth and beauty…and that smile. You wanted to know what she was thinking…the exact question that had been pondered for centuries about the original Mona Lisa. Why did the woman in the picture smile secretly? Why did Isabella smile? My brother would give his vast fortune to know his daughter's thoughts. I would bet a fortune that Carlisle's son would as well.
The night we'd discussed my wife's picture, the instinct to propose a liaison between us had been strong. I'd believed that, like me, her opportunity to be with her true mate, at least on her part, had been destroyed. I'd felt some degree of hope that we might help each other with the grief, but I'd hesitated. I didn't want to take advantage of the moment, when she was weak. Then, I'd seen the surprising strengthening of the bonds between her and Felix, and young Edward and Jacob had arrived. I'd know then that there was no way I would fetter her with a half a life, so I'd wrapped up the burgeoning interest tightly and buried it deep within my soul. She deserved to have it all, and I couldn't provide that.
Her bond with the young man who had just left was extremely strong, and she was grieving. Nothing but time was going to make that any better. But the sooner she made a decision between the two men still fighting for her attention, the better off she would be.
Edward was her mate. I'd never felt a deeper connection, but Isabella, whether right or wrong, couldn't let go of her hurt at his betrayal. I was afraid that she would cling too tightly to the rage within her, destroying her chance. I didn't believe that Carlisle's son would give in so easily though. If he could walk away from his mate and stay away from her as long as he did to protect her, it meant he had tenacity. Something he was going to need with Isabella. And Felix, I was exceedingly surprised at the Guard member. He'd worked his way through most of the non-mated vampires within this coven and many others. He'd yet to be tamed, but it would seem that Isabella could do it. He had many admirable qualities to bring to a union. He'd shown amazing restraint and wisdom around Isabella, supporting her when she needed it. In doing so, he'd accomplished the unimaginable. He'd made himself mate worthy as well. I wondered what Isabella would say about claiming them both…polygamous relationships weren't unheard of within the vampire world. It would take work, but in the thousands of years I'd survived, I had seen a few, and they were magical. I didn't think she was ready to hear that suggestion though.
"Isabella?" I murmured, gaining her attention.
She spun and growled slightly at me. Perhaps I should have been concerned. She was a newborn after all, but I didn't believe she would hurt me.
"Would you allow me the pleasure of your thoughts?"
She huffed before she threw herself elegantly onto the couch beside me. "I'm so mad at the Cullens. If they would have never left me, none of this would have happened. Jacob and I would have stayed just friends, I wouldn't be confused about Felix. It would have been so simple. I hate them at times."
I heard another emotion more clearly from her. "What happened, other than the young man was ordered by his leader to return home?"
She glanced down at her hands and it was clear she was embarrassed. Ah…I wanted to chuckle. I assumed that Edward had made a strategic maneuver…reminding her of his esteem. My opinion of him was forming quickly, and it wasn't negative. He'd obeyed me in the throne room, giving her honesty in a simple direct manner. Of course, it didn't hurt that I'd threatened his existence. I'd seen his care of the young man who'd just left us. He was in so many ways Carlisle's son. Carlisle… I would never be able to repay him. I made my decision in that moment. Isabella needed to learn the lesson of forgiveness. It would be my repayment to Carlisle…to help his son.
"Isabella, I would like to tell you something. I ask that you listen to the whole story before you react." I was afraid that she would become furious at Aro. I didn't want her to be more torn than she already was. I looked to see if she would agree. She stared at me in confusion. "You must promise, and I will rely on your word."
I saw her shudder in an attempt to calm down and center herself. Within a short amount of time, she turned to me, incredibly poised. "I'm ready," was her only response.
I chuckled internally, and leaned over to wrap my arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head. I took a deep unnecessary breath while I thought about where to begin.
"You know I lost Didyme, but what you do not know is how and why. We have tremendous enemies in the Romanians…Stefan and Vladimir. As a coven, they became hungry for power, challenging our control. The moment of breaking came when we received reports that they were attempting to harness the power of werewolves to challenge us. This was about fifteen hundred years ago, and a battle began to brew. Werewolves are uncontrollable, and the use of them threatened to expose our existence. Didyme…" I hesitated as the pain broke over me, making my voice waver. Isabella slipped her arm around my waist and laid her head against my shoulder, providing me comfort. I cleared my throat and continued. "…she worried about what a battle would mean to us and the Volturi as a whole. She loved each and every one of us, unconditionally. She was Jane's last friend…did you know that? You remind me so much of her." I shook my head; NOW was not the time.
"She left the castle one night when we were occupied with a court matter, and she approached Stefan and Vladimir. They manipulated her gentle nature, filling her head with stories of proposed treaties and the possibility of a joint existence. Didyme's nature was to trust everyone. She didn't know to stay away from things that threatened her." I stopped and raised my eyebrows at her, letting her know I thought she was the same considering how she'd insisted on being around the Cullens as a human. She adorably rolled her eyes at me. I was intentionally interspersing the story with humor. "She continued to sneak out, believing that she was building a treaty of some sort…something that would save us all from a horrible fight. Over time, they convinced her that they would live in peace and invited her and me to reside with them. They proposed it as a sign that we had forged a new relationship…a new world."
"She finally informed me of her visits and their proposal. I was furious that she had put herself in such danger. We argued vehemently. She continued to attempt to convince me, but I tricked her and had Aro come to our room that evening. I told him everything. Being siblings, their arguing was even more volatile than ours. Aro argued that the Romanians had plans to capture us both and then torture us. He railed at Didyme about how she couldn't see the truth. Isabella, he attempted everything to get her to see reality. He yelled. He begged, and he sobbed, telling her that the idea of her being tortured would destroy him. He saw the Romanians for what they are. He knew their plans. He'd seen their depravity through the thoughts of captured warriors."
"Didyme continued to sneak out, thinking that she'd found a way to solve it all. I found her missing one night and went after her. She and I were attacked. I was injured, but luckily several guards had followed at my request, and the others were destroyed. Didyme was inconsolable. She felt that Aro had ruined her attempt to bring about peace. He yelled at her, 'Are you daft? Did the change burn every ounce of intelligence out of you? You have put your husband at risk for this foolishness.' It was the worst thing to say to her. She just wanted peace for us all. Her heart knew no bounds, Isabella. She just wanted to make it right. She again distracted me and went one more time, determined to find a way. She believed their words of peace. She never came home. We found her charred remains outside the city."
I heard her gasp from beside me. But I needed to tell her the rest.
"Rage does not even describe what I felt. The loss of your mate is something you cannot comprehend. The pain that radiates through you when you know you will never hold your other half again."
She startled, and I looked over to her for explanation. "Jake said that Edward wanted to be destroyed when he thought I was dead."
"Yes, it is a primary thought, a necessity when you realize your world doesn't exist anymore. I fully intended to be destroyed as well, but I funneled my rage into destroying the Romanians, first. Aro…" I stopped a moment, grief raging through me for a few moments. It was incredibly easy for the agony to resurface. I cleared my throat before beginning again. "…he became a devil after Didyme's death. It was like he was battling his own internal demons. The skirmishes became epic. During one particularly brutal clash, we captured several high ranking soldiers in their army. It was Aro's habit to touch any creature not destroyed in order to gather their knowledge before eradicating them."
"I remember the day so vibrantly. Felix and Demetri led the guard that brought the vampires into the throne room. At first it seemed so normal, a touch…then the order for destruction, while I looked on in my primal rage. I oversaw each destruction, relishing the act, believing it brought me just one more immortal life closer to my own mortality. I was going to die…and the sooner the enemies were eradicated, the sooner I would be able to meet my fate. Something different happened that day though; as Aro touched the last vampire, he fell to his knees and began screaming. We all froze, wondering what had happened. We wondered if the vampire was gifted in some manner, maybe infusing Aro with pain. But he became almost crazed, destroying everything in sight, including the offending vampire. No one, even Sulpicia, could get near him. We had to call in Alec to immobilize him."
"He remained this way for weeks, only animal sounds coming from his chest. In fear, we brought humans for him to feed upon. He screamed that he was unworthy, and that he should be destroyed. I remember when his eyes finally alighted on me. It was if he was a man being burned from within. Then a calmness came over him, and the calculating look we all associated with Aro, our leader, came over his face. I still remember his words. 'Marcus, I destroyed Didyme. I personally ordered her death figuring my destruction of her would be gentler than theirs. I then dismantled the member that accomplished my orders. She would not I couldn't save her, I was going to save you.'"
Isabella tore from my arms, but I leapt over the couch and beat her to the door, blocking it.
"MOVE OUT OF MY WAY! I'M GOING TO RIP HIM TO PIECES," she snarled.
I questioned my decision to do this by myself, in that moment, realizing I would pose no hindrance to her newborn strength. What was I going to do to? I attempted to distract her. I smoothed my hands down her arms for a long time, watching her slowly regain some control.
"I have been told those were my exact words. I only remember seeing red. You promised…" I reminded her, before taking her arm and leading her back to the couch. "…that you would listen and sit until we were done. Felix stopped me from attacking Aro. I only know what I heard later. By the time I was aware of reality again, I was fully under Chelsea's influence. She kept my need to destroy Aro subjugated, binding me with her poisonous ways, although it was just always barely under the surface. Aro lived with his own pain."
"What he'd seen was Didyme's true love for us. She'd gone back after thinking through what we'd said and had begun the process of attempting to see who she could win over to our side. She was spying during that last visit. The vampire who had been captured had overheard her speaking to one of the members of their coven…a member he'd reported to gain influence. I am, of course, giving you only a condensed version, but the next one thousand years were difficult, to say the least. I was under Chelsea's influence to be a leader with my 'brothers', but it was only through her manipulation that it occurred. Aro lived with his sorrow, bordering on maniacal at times. Caius became embittered, wedged between Aro and me."
"But…but you seem to care for one another now…how?"
"A miracle named Carlisle Cullen."
Her eyes jerked to mine in response to my answer.
"He saved us in so many ways. His leaving almost destroyed us again." I smiled, remembering Carlisle's face, so full of wonder the first time he walked into our throne room. "It took him only a few years to work under my skin and convince me that he could be my friend. You know how he is; those eyes wear you down after awhile. He had infinite patience with my attempts to stay cold and aloof. It wasn't too difficult; I lived within my grief regarding Didyme and hate of Aro."
"It was the little things he did, but of course, they began to add up. Then one day, he asked Caius why I hated Aro and why Aro hated himself. He became a man on a mission."
"What did he do?" she asked, and I heard the true interest in her voice. She loved Carlisle; it was apparent. But then, who didn't?
"He dredged up all the mistakes I'd made over the years. Things I'd done in the past, believing that I was making a good decision. He spoke with everyone, finding out the things that Aro had done for me, watching over me…attempting to make my life right. He forced us time and time again into a room together, making me view the remorse etched permanently into Aro's face. He brought out the Bible and quoted from Luke, talking about the guidance there for forgiving your brother. He never stopped, day after day, week after week, month after month. No one else would have challenged us so; they were too afraid of us. Carlisle either didn't know better or didn't care…he was a favored son, secure in his place."
"I don't know if he grew weary or finally just hit upon inspiration, but one day he brought me to my room and made me face Didyme's picture. His words were like the sting of venom. 'How would she feel about this? What would she have wanted you to do? She would have killed anyone who threatened your life as well. You disgrace her memory, Marcus.' Then, he turned those eyes on me before walking solemnly from my room. He was right. Didyme would have been horrified at my behavior. She would have wanted me to comfort Aro as well."
"Carlisle returned with Aro, forcing us once again into a room together, and my brother prostrated himself before me. He'd never done that before nor has he since. He pled for my forgiveness while sobbing over his own grief. Carlisle taught me a very valuable lesson that day…forgiveness. It is an undisputable fact that those who love us can hurt us the most. Incredibly destructive things can come from someone who believes they are doing things in our best interest. Aro destroyed a woman we both loved, believing that he could not save her, so I became his focus. His intentions were honorable towards me and caused him immense pain at the same time. In his love for me, he was misguided about the right avenue." I paused to see if she would see the irony in history repeating itself.
"I had a decision to make, Isabella. I could either continue in hate and destroy us all or attempt to find something out of this life to live for. I made Aro's life a living hell for over a thousand years. I made myself a promise then. I would repay Aro his thousand years, my existence after that…well, that will be mine to decide."
She hissed at the implication of my words, but then her eyes rounded out. "Marcus, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but how could you forgive him? He destroyed everything for you. How can you just forget it?"
I wanted her to understand. It was a difficult concept to explain. "I forgave him. I didn't forget. To forgive means you recognize the injury but you grant the person a pardon, another chance to prove their merit. To forget it would be if I'd ceased to remember it, to act as if it had never happened, never had incomprehensible repercussions on my life and his."
"You are telling me that I should forgive the Cullens and Edward, aren't you?"
"I'm asking you to consider it. I believe your happiness, whether you chose Edward or Felix, depends on it. Don't allow the bitterness to bury you and poison who you are, for certainly I did."
"I think our situations are very different. The Carlisle you describe stood by you and wouldn't give up on the situation. Carlisle walked away from me, without a second glance."
"I suspect there is more to that story than you know, Isabella. The only way you'll know is to ask. Carlisle would not…could not have…changed in that manner; it is not within him to be that uncaring."
She stared into the fire for a long time as she contemplated my words. I watched as a myriad of emotions raced across her face. The silence between us was easy though, like a robe or blanket that you pull on when you need comforting. Finally, she spoke.
"Would you help me in getting some time with Carlisle alone? I can't face the others just yet. I would like to ask him for an explanation."
I barely kept the satisfied look from my face. This wasn't about an attempt to give Edward an advantage over Felix; it was about giving Isabella what she needed to heal. The two battling men were on their own from here, unless they hurt her. I would step in if that happened.
"Certainly, I believe he will race here for the opportunity. Shall I call for him now?"
I saw her struggle with the fear of the unknown for a few moments before she nodded. The trembling of her hands, as I disengaged from her arm and rose to approach the doorway, tore at my long dead heart. "Please seek out Carlisle and ask him to grant me the favor of an audience," I told young Afton who stood in the hallway.
A/N: Leave me a thought about what you did or did not like.
Special thanks to Hopeforastalemate for betaing both this and the Divergence chapter. Helping me out in a pinch. If you haven't checked out her stuff, PLEASE DO!