Thank you for the great comments so far! They are really the reason I keep writing! This next chapter our friends are a little bit OoC, but I couldn't resist it…. Read, enjoy and review! Thanks!

Sunday afternoon. There was no case and John enjoyed some quiet time to read while Sherlock was engaged in something on his laptop. Every now and then his eyes flickered towards John with an odd, curious expression in them. John pretended not to notice, but he couldn't help feeling Sherlock's eyes in his back when he walked to the kitchen to make tea.

Not this again! He thought. His mood was already not good.

When came back into the living room Sherlock openly stared at him. John ignored it. Sherlock cleared his throat.

No way! I won't bite this time! John told himself while he sat down on the couch.

Sherlock got up.

John opened his book again.

Sherlock walked towards him.

John pretended to read.

Sherlock sat down at the coffee table, right in front of John who still pretended not to see him.

'John…'

Here it comes.

'I think we should have sex.'

John sighed. 'Sherlock, have you been reading fanfiction about us again?'

'It is very insightful.' Sherlock defended himself while trying to catch John's look.

'It is not insightful, it is rubbish! And every time you read that crap you tell me we should have sex!?'

'It makes sense.'

'No it does not!'

Sherlock observed him intensely for a few seconds. 'You are cranky.'

'Excuse me?' John responded.

'You have been cranky and sulking around the house for days.'

'So?' John asked. 'What does that got to do with those bloody fanfiction stories?'

'Simple. In every story when you are cranky and skulking it is because you secretly long for me and are going through an inner struggle regarding your sexuality. After we have sex – which I unsurprisingly excel in – you are happy, relaxed and sulk-free.'

John looked horror-struck. 'And you take that stuff serious?'

Sherlock shrugged. 'These people know us very well, John. They spend a considerable amount of time studying us and in most of the more realistically written stories I find they manage to portray my character with a high level of accuracy.'

'Well, not my character!' John sputtered.

'Maybe not all of them.' Sherlock admitted. 'I read one story that was supposed to be a narrative of my thoughts before kissing you to make you stop your annoying pondering about your sexuality, and ended up with me pondering my feelings for you. Some of those writers have clearly lost touch with reality.'*

But John didn't listen.

'In any case, we are not having sex just so I will be in a better mood.' He wanted to get up but Sherlock placed both hands on the doctors' knees and held him down.

'After sex with me you will not just be in a better mood, John. Didn't you hear me say I excel in the activity?'

John scorned. 'Yeah, according to a group of hormonal 16-year olds who have way too much time on their hands. So unless you actually slept with any of them; I will not take their word for it.'

'You could take my word for it.' Sherlock's eyes pierced into John's. 'Or better yet: you could take your own word for it.'

Suddenly the doctor felt his heart skip a beat and he forgot to breath. Sherlock seemed to loook right into his mind, read his thoughts. It was unnerving. Intimate….

John swallowed, turned away from his friend and got up.

'Thanks for the offer but the answer is no! If my mood is annoying you that much I will try to fake a more pleasant personality, like yours!' He said sarcastically.

Sherlock sighed and raised his eyebrows. 'Fine, be in denial.'

'I am not in denial!' John yelled.

Sherlock got up. 'Yes you are! You secretly want me and I know it! And the fangirls know it, so why don't you just admit it, John?'

John took a deep breath and stared out of the window. Be calm. Count till ten. You cannot win this argument….. or can you? Suddenly an evil plan popped into his head. He looked back at Sherlock.

'Okay.' He said firmly.

'What?' Sherlock asked.

'Yes.' John said. 'I want you, Sherlock.'

'Aha! We knew it!' Sherlock did love being right.

John took a step towards his friend without taking his eyes off him.

'So let's have sex.'

Sherlock stared at him. Bewildered.

'Eeehm…'

John came closer and Sherlock involuntarily stepped back. 'Where are you going, baby?' John asked seductively, hooking his finger through one of the lopes on the detective's pants. 'I thought you offered yourself to me and I am saying yes, so start taking your clothes off.'

'John, stop it. You're not being funny.' Sherlock tried to sound bored but John could hear the insecurity in his voice. Good.

'I am not trying to be funny. You were right, I do need to get laid and who better to do it with than you? Don't bother with the shirt, you can keep that on, I don't mind. Just undo you pants and put your hands on the kitchen table.'

'Ehm John…I…..' Sherlock sputtered, but John pulled his startled friend slowly towards the kitchen with one hands, while he unbuckled his own belt with the other.

'What's the matter? You need some romance first?' John's flashed to the detectives' lips. 'I can give you that.' John leaned in and prayed Sherlock would give in first. And he did.

'Jesus John stop I was only kidding!' Sherlock bolted away. 'I don't want us to have sex.'

John leaned on the kitchen table with both hands and looked at Sherlock. 'Good.' He said, his seductive tone was completely gone. 'Neither do I.'

'What…?' Sherlock was confused. John slowly broke into a grin. 'I was messing you, you sodding idiot! Now, don't ever read those bullocks stories again!'

John was still laughing about his clever prank when he sat back down on the couch. Sherlock was less amused. 'Stop gloating, John, you look utterly ridiculous!'

'What, you mean like how you looked when you thought I was going to do you over the kitchen table?'

'I never believed you for a second.'

'Oh please, you should have seen yourself: a deer in the headlights really!'

'Are you insinuating that I am afraid of sex?'

'Oh I'm sorry, was I too subtle?' John said sarcastically.

Sherlock squinted, and then got up. 'Okay, go into the bedroom, let's do it.'

John snorted. 'Why? So I can watch you jump again when I come close? No thanks.'

Sherlock gave him a fierce look. 'You will come to the bedroom with me.'

John picked up his book again. 'Sorry, I am not in the mood.'

'John Hamish Watson, we are going to have sex, right now!'

'Sherlock bloody Holmes, I would sleep with Mycroft before letting you near me.'

'Tempting as that sounds, Doctor Watson,' said a smooth and familiar voice near the door, 'you're not really my type.'

John turned to see Mycroft Holmes stand in the doorway. He gave John his usual fake polite smile.

John turned bright red and dropped his book. Oh God!

Next to him Sherlock started laughing. No fake grins or giggles but an actual deep laugh that filled the room. John, who usually liked the sound of Sherlock's laugh, hissed: 'Shut up, Sherlock!'

Thank you all for reading! No insult intended towards the fan girls and boys! I love you all :)

*Of course I don't mean any of your stories, darlings! I mean my story 'You're thinking, its annoying'.