A/n: Hey! I haven't posted a chapter in a while and I'm sorry. Just some info on this story: because this is kaitlin's memories, and it's in kaitlin's POV, anytime that something happens and kaitlin isn't there, she doesn't know, because these are her memories. So in this story, Emily will be away for a lot of the time, and kaitlin won't be with her, so i will tell you a little about what emily is doing, and you can use your imagination for the rest ;)

Emily is away because Doyle has reapeared in her life. If you have read my story Where Are You, and it's sequel, Gone, you know that Doyle doesn't kill Emily until Kaitlin is a few years older, so nothing that happened in season 6 is in this story, this is just Doyle resurfacing in Emily's life .

R&R and enjoy!

Secrets

I sat on the couch, reading Slaughter House 5, a favourite of Emily's. I was curled up and comfortable. The phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Emily said quickly after a moment. Not thinking anything of it, I shrugged and went back to reading. I heard Emily whisper, she was not talking in her usual voice. So, because I was always a curious child, I slowly slid off the couch, tiptoed to the table in my room and picked up the phone quietly. I tried to listen carefully to see if I recognised the person on the other line, but I didn't. It seemed that there conversation was almost over.

"You need to come soon, Emily," The person on the other line said. It was a woman, "Time's run out."

"I'll take the next flight out of here," Emily promised. The person hung up.

I quickly put the phone away and hopped back on the couch with my book.

"Kaitlin," Emily said quietly as she walked into the room. I realised my book was upside down, so I subtly flipped it over. Thankfully she was too preoccupied to notice. She looked paler than usual, almost sickly.

"Yeah?" I asked nonchalantly.

"I uh, have something important I'd like to talk to you about," Emily said. She was acting strange. I sat up, and put my book down. I scooted over on the couch so she could sit as well.

"I just got a phone call from an old friend of mine in…Italy," Emily said, choosing her words carefully, "She's very…ill, and she needs my help for a little while…so I'm going to have to go there and help her," Emily explained.

"And I take it that I'll be staying here?" I assumed. I figured that that was where the story was going.

"Yes…and you'll probably end up staying with Garcia, assuming the team has a case…because she usually doesn't go with the team," Emily explained.

"Okay," I said shrugging, "How long do you think you'll be gone?" I asked.

"That depends on how sick…my friend is," Emily said.

"Why are you being so weird, Em?" I said bluntly. Immediately I slapped my hand over my mouth, "You can completely disregard that comment, that was suppose to be an internal thought!" I blurted out after. Crap. That whole five seconds really sucked.

"I love you," She told me, ignoring my comments. She hugged me tightly.

"I love you, too, Em," I told her. She was being so strange.

"Em?" I asked after a moment.

"Yeah, hon?"

"You are coming back…aren't you?" I asked nervously. That thought was meant to be aloud.

"Oh, honey…of course I am," Emily nodded.

"Promise? Because it sort of looks and sounds like you're leaving me," I said honestly.

"I'm not. I wouldn't. Not ever. I promise," She promised.

"Ok… Go and pack. And bring your blue sweatshirt," I told her.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because you love that sweatshirt and you bring it everywhere and you always ask me to remind you to pack it," I said smiling.

"You pack too," She smiled, kissed my forehead and went upstairs.

When she was done packing she said, "I talked to Garcia, and she said you can come now, which is good, because my plane leaves in an hour," Emily explained.

"Okay," I said shrugging. I didn't want her to leave, because I knew something strange was going on.

We got into the car without saying another word, but Emily's phone kept vibrating with texts the whole way there.

"Em," I tried, but she stopped me.

"Don't worry about it," She told me. We got to Garcia's at 7:30pm. She kissed my forehead as I got out of the car.

"I love you," She told me.

"I love you, too, Em," I said, "Stay safe," I added right before I was about to close the door.

"I will," She said. She watched me walk up to the door. I knocked on Garcia's door and she pulled me in with a big smile. Emily waved and drove away. Garcia shut the door.

"You okay, peaches?" She asked me.

"It doesn't matter," I said shrugging. Garcia sighed.

"Of course it does," She said as she took me into the living room, where she had made up a couch for me. I looked around her house at all the crazy decorations and I smiled.

"Do you want some food?" She asked me.

"Sure," I agreed. We ordered some pizza and ate while we watched a movie. After a while, I went to change into my pyjamas.

"I'm going to go take a shower. You're welcome to watch TV, or chill on the couch…do whatever," Garcia said smiling. She gave me a quick hug and went to the bathroom.

I went to my bag to search for my book. As I reached the bottom of my bag, something caught my attention. In my bag was Emily's sweatshirt, that I had told her to pack. I pulled it out and looked at it, to confirm it was hers. I was confused. I had reminded her to pack it…why would she give it to me?

I found my book and went to the couch. I snuggled with the sweatshirt and started reading the book. The sweatshirt smelled like Emily. It made me miss her, but it also comforted me at the same time.

When Garcia got out of the shower, and had changed into pyjamas, she came back out to see me.

"That's Emily's isn't it?" Garcia asked me when she saw the sweatshirt.

"Yeah…I told her to pack it for herself…because she always asks me to remind her," I explained.

"She must have thrown it in your bag by mistake," Garcia said.

"Yeah," I nodded, though I was really thinking, what if it was something to remember her by.

"I just really wish she would tell me what the hell's going on," I said sadly, "She's been so weird," I said.

"Maybe she'll tell you when she got back, maybe she won't tell you, because you shouldn't know, or maybe," Garcia said sitting down next to me, "What she told you was true."

"No…it wasn't true. She wouldn't have to think her words through so thoughtfully if it was the truth…and she was all hushed and secretive on the phone…and stuttery and nervous to me. It just wasn't like her," I said frustrated with the situation. I was irritated that I didn't know what was going on and scared that Emily could be in trouble.

"You look exhausted, cupcake," Garcia said stroking my hair.

I sighed, "You do too, you know," I told her smiling a little.

"I help catch killers 23 hours of the day, you are a young happy child. You shouldn't look like this all the time," Garcia said, "It worries me when you're all…un-peppy," Garcia said winking, "Try to get some sleep kiddo. Tomorrow you can come with to the BAU and talk to Hotch. Maybe he knows something about what Emily's doing," Garcia suggested.

"Thanks Garcia," I said smiling. She hugged me and shut the lights out. I fell asleep fast, eager for the next morning to come.

I woke up the next morning ready to find out what Hotch knew. I brushed my teeth, got dressed, did my hair, and made blueberry pancakes for me and Garcia.

"Good morning Kaitlin! What smells so good?" Garcia asked grinning. She saw the pancakes. I looked over at her outfit. All orange and pinks and yellows today. Her hair was curly with brown highlights, her nail polish was black and her glasses were cheetah print. I chuckled at how adorable she looked.

"Oooh, those look delicious, peaches," She told me. Her new nickname for me seemed to be peaches.

"They're nice and hot, have some now," I told her. We sat down and ate together. We ate in a sort of silence, because I was still worried about Emily. After we were done eating, we headed to the BAU.

When we got there we headed up the elevator.

"You ok?" Garcia asked me.

"I just…I hope Hotch knows something," I said quietly. Almost a whisper.

"Why are you whispering?" Garcia whispered.

"I…" I laughed, "I don't know…I'm crazy," I said, still quiet, shrugging. She smiled and gave me a quick squeeze.

"You've got this. No worries," Garcia said smiling, "Want me to come with you?" She asked me.

"No thanks. I can do this," I said nodding. She went to her office and I walked down the catwalk towards Hotch's office. Derek and Reid were in the bullpen talking to each other, Rossi was in his office and Hotch was in his. JJ was also with Hotch. The door was closed. I knocked.

"Come in," Hotch said. I opened the door slowly.

"Hi, Kaitlin," Hotch said smiling.

"Hey Kaitlin," JJ said. She gave me a hug.

"Hi…guys," I said.

"What can we do for you?" Hotch asked.

"Uh…I need to talk to you…so when you guys are done…" I said, trying to get the point across.

"We're done," JJ said, "I'll gather the rest of them, and you come when you're done," JJ told Hotch.

"Sounds good, start the briefing, don't wait for me," Hotch said.

"Bye, Kaitlin," JJ said squeezing my shoulder on her way out.

"Bye, Jayje," I said giving her a half hearted smile. JJ left and shut the door behind her.

"Sit down Kaitlin," Hotch offered, so I did.

"Hotch…uhhm, did Emily tell you why she had to go away?" I asked, carefull of what to say.

"Yes. Her friend is ill," Hotch said.

"No, Hotch…the real reason," I said.

"Real reason?" Hotch asked. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he didn't know.

"She was acting strange…I don't really think that's why she's there," I said shrugging.

"Kaitlin…" Hotch said nervously, obviously not wanting to answer.

"Hotch," I responded. I was tired. Tired from the lack of sleep, tired for always having to search so hard for answers. Tired.

"What she's doing is important," Hotch said.

"Is she in trouble?" I asked.

"She's strong, Kaitlin," He said.

"That's all I get then?" I asked.

"That's all I can give…I'm sorry," He said sighing. There was a moment of silence, before he said, "But what I can tell you is that when she comes back, she's going to need you, and Derek, and JJ, and all of us, but especially you."

"Need me how?" I asked.

"I know after all you've been through, being that strong wall that someone can lean on is going to be tough for you, which is why she won't ask you, but Emily will need you. You'll need to be the shoulder she can cry on, the hug she can always go for, and the hand she can hold," Hotch said.

"Ok," I said, absorbing this all after a moment.

"You're all set?" He asked.

"Yeah…thanks," I said slowly. I stared at him for a moment. He looked exhausted, worse then me. I knew why, though. He missed Haley, his wife, so much. He struggled to be the best dad for Jack, trying to show him that he was strong. He had to prove himself to Strauss as well, everyday, and on top of all that, this job was tough.

I opened the door and turned before leaving and said, "Hotch."

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Maybe you could use one of those shoulders, too…so if you need to talk or something…well…you know where I am," I said. Before he could respond I shut the door and left him to think.

I stood on the catwalk, leaning over the railing outside Hotch's office, looking out at the bullpen below me. JJ was leading the team in the conference room, briefing them on a new case, so the bullpen seemed rather empty.

I sighed, thinking about the secrets Emily was keeping from me. I knew, however, that when she was ready to tell me, and I was ready to know, she would tell me. For now, I just had to accept that those secrets were bigger then us. A lot bigger.

I heard Hotch's door open and close gently. As he walked by me towards the conference room, he put his hand on my shoulder for a moment and said in a soft voice, unlike his usually stern one, "I might have to take you up on that offer, some day…" His voice sort of trailed away at the end. I watched as he walked into the conference room and shut the door. This part of their day was just beginning, but for me, it seemed like this part of my day had come to an end, but not an abrupt ending, just a good ending that you can accept waiting for more.

"Excuse me," A man said walking up to me. He was a young man in his 30s, with short dark brown hair. He was tall and slender. He was wearing a jacket and slacks, with a name tag that read: Jason Andersen. He worked at the BAU it seemed.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Are you Kaitlin Taylor?" He asked me, looking down at an envelope.

"I am," I said nodding.

"This was just dropped off for you," He said handing me a letter. I looked down at the letter. It was Emily's hand writing. As I began opening the letter, I said, "Thank you," In what seemed like a distant voice, zoning out, in to my own world.

I barely heard him respond and walk away.

"My dearest Kaitlin," I read aloud, "Italy is wonderful. It's nice to see my old friends here. My friend's health is getting better quickly, and we are all thankful for that. Though it may seem like we are millions of miles apart, I'm always thinking of you, and if you think of me, too, we'll feel closer than ever. I miss you so much and will be returning home very soon. I love you a lot. Emily," I finished.

From what Reid had taught me about profiling people's handwritings, everything she wrote about Italy being nice and her friends was a lie. The way her handwriting was slanted told me that it wasn't true. But after that, it changed a little, and from 'though' on to her signature, it was all true. I sighed and shrugged. As long as she was safe and ok, I was fine with not knowing what she was doing for now. It was just a secret that I would have to hear another time.