AUTHOR'S NOTES: I would like to thank deanstheman for the help with this chapter. I found this one a bit tricky given that I'm jumping between story lines but hopefully it works. I also included the flashback to how Sam, Dean, and Fi got their 'Watership Down' nicknames.

Chapter 14

Free to be You and Me

The Walton Rehabilitation Center in Webster, Oklahoma was quiet when Sam entered, heading for the reception desk. "Excuse me?" he said, looking at the heavyset woman sitting there.

"Can I help you?" The head nurse—Gloria Jenks—said, shortly.

"I'm here about the therapist assistant position you have open," Sam said, trying to be as charming as possible, even though that wasn't his usual method of dealing with people.

"Any experience working in a place like this, son?" Gloria asked, narrowing her eyes at Sam.

"No," Sam admitted, making up a story on the spot. "But that's why I need the job." Seeing Gloria's raised eyebrow, he went on. "Little over a month ago, my girlfriend ended up paralyzed. And I'm not exactly sure about… you know…how to help her. I figure maybe you can let me learn on the job."

Gloria nodded, thoughtfully. She wasn't keen on the idea of hiring someone with no experience, but this young man looked strong and she could understand wanting to learn how to take care of someone who was handicapped. "We'll do a trial run," she said, finally. "See how you fit in around here." Flagging down one of the therapists, Gloria pointed to Sam. "Zoey, this is…"

"Jared Patterson," Sam said, holding out a hand to the woman.

Zoey Morrison studied Sam intently before asking, "Any experience?"

"On the job training, Zoey, honey," Gloria replied with a knowing look.

"Okay," the younger woman said, looking curious at the arrangement. "In that case, Jared, let's start with a tour."

"Okay," Sam said, relieved that he wasn't just going to be dismissed. If he was taking a temporarily leave of absence, he might as well do something that might help in the long run.

Uniontown, Pennsylvania

For the first 24 hours after leaving River Pass, Fiona and Dean didn't talk much except for the usual questions regarding diners and motels.

It seemed like both of them were trying to fill the hole left by Sam but they didn't seem to know how to do it.

The following day, Dean woke to find Fiona lying on her back on the floor doing sit-ups. "How long have you been up?" he asked, getting out of bed.

"Just an hour or two," Fiona replied, stopping and scooting over to her wheelchair. It took her a few minutes, but she finally managed to lift herself up and once she was seated, she looked at Dean who seemed unsure of what to do. "I had to use the bathroom and I couldn't get back to sleep."

"You should have woken me up," Dean said, running a hand through his hair.

"I managed without help, Dean," Fiona replied, going to her bed and grabbing her bag, pulling out clothes. "So… any news on possible cases?"

"Uh, no, not really," Dean stammered. After a moment, he said, "Uh, let me hit the can and get dressed and we'll go grab some breakfast, okay?"

"Sounds good," Fiona replied, already changing from the camisole top she slept in and into a t-shirt.

When Dean came out of the bathroom a few moments later, he noticed that Fi was having some trouble changing from her pajama bottoms into her jeans. "Need some help?" he asked.

Fiona looked from her lower body to the pair of jeans still lying in a heap by her feet. She'd managed to get the pajama bottoms off, but getting dressed would require a little help. Looking up at Dean, she didn't say anything, only nodded reluctantly.

Dean just nodded in return and slowly went over to Fiona who had pulled her jeans up as far as her knees. Before he could ask how she wanted him to help her, she gripped the shoulder of his shirt tightly with one hand, pulling herself up enough to use her other hand to pull her jeans over her hips.

Slowly lowering herself back down, Fiona just gave Dean a grateful look.

Dean nodded and looked at the socks and boots on the bed. "Ready for round two?"

xx

Half an hour later, the two were at a diner and Dean decided to say what he'd been thinking since the previous night. "So there's a rehab facility near Greeley."

"Dean, I'm—" Fiona started to say before she was cut off.

"I'm not saying long term," Dean interrupted. "But there might be a job there. I can handle that, and you can—"

"I can what?" Fiona cut in. She stopped, hearing the defensive snap in her voice. "Dean, I'm okay. I'm doing exercises and I know how to take care of myself."

Dean rubbed his face with one hand and sighed. "I'm not saying you're helpless, Fi. I'm not. But I'm not an expert in this. Just… Just humor me, okay?"

Fiona was silent for a while, just giving the waitress a nod when she brought the plates and coffee. Looking at Dean, she said, "I don't know if this is going to work."

"I'm trying to help," Dean argued. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know," Fiona admitted, shaking her head. Rubbing the back of her neck, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Looking at Dean again, she let out a long sigh. "Okay. We'll… We'll go to Greeley."

"You sure?" Dean asked, wondering what was with the change of mind.

"Yeah," Fiona sighed again as she thought of this morning.

Washington, D.C.

On the upside, Bobby's doctors had been able to release him earlier than predicted.

The downside was that he had 2 months of physical therapy to look forward to before he could start walking again.

"So you gonna just sit there, or do you want to go home?"

Sitting in the standard hospital wheelchair, looking out the window of the room he'd been in for over a month, Bobby hadn't heard Ellen come in. Wheeling around to face her, Bobby suddenly couldn't help the way his face turned red as he caught the smile she gave him. What was he—a teenager who'd finally worked up the courage to talk to the head cheerleader? "Let's go," he muttered, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Ellen stepped behind him, wheeling Bobby out of the room and down the hallway. "Jo's waiting with the car downstairs."

"Not my car?" Bobby asked, suddenly worried.

"No, mine," Ellen replied. After a while, though, she asked, "Why?"

"No offense," Bobby said, thinking of the younger Harvelle. "But your daughter drives worse than Dean."

"Yeah, that's why I don't usually let her drive," Ellen laughed. Once she'd signed Bobby out of the hospital, she wheeled him out to the curb where Jo was waiting with the battered old SUV.

It only took Sam two days to realize that he'd underestimated what he didn't know about working with someone who was disabled. The therapists had run through the basics of what he'd been doing and after explaining why he was there, Sam had found himself working more with the other paraplegics at the center.

There was a laundry list of exercises and stretches the other physical therapists showed him how to do and more than that, he learned that some of the ways he'd been trying to help Fiona had been the opposite of what he should have been doing.

At the end of the week, Sam found himself sitting across from one of the other therapists at a café near the center.

"So what are you really doing here?" Diane Grant asked, finishing off the first half of her sandwich. "I mean, I know you said your girlfriend was hurt. But what's the real reason?"

Sam paused in eating his salad and thought about how to answer. "Fiona… got hurt because of me," he said finally. "I was, uh… I-I was kinda messed up for a while and Fi went to handle this mess I made." Looking down at his plate, he added, "She got stabbed because of me. And now I don't know how to help her… or myself."

Diane thought about that for a while before she said, "So is it that she hasn't forgiven you? Or is it that you can't forgive yourself?"

"A little of both, I think," Sam admitted, quietly.

The vampire problem in Greeley had thankfully been easy to deal with—except for the fact that Dean had had to decapitate the son of a bitch on the hood of his car.

While Dean washed the blood off the Impala, he thought about how different things had been this week. Even though Fi had been spending her days at the rehab center, she'd still found time to help with research on the apocalypse before grabbing a couple hours sleep.

The physios had been working with Fiona on strengthening exercises and had shown Dean how to do the leg stretches to help keep the muscles limber as well as a few ways to help Fi get dressed easier.

x

Getting back to the motel late that night, Dean wasn't surprised to find Fiona already asleep. As thin as she'd been stretching herself lately, the crash was inevitable. Dropping his bag of weapons on his bed, Dean shed his jacket and took it into the bathroom to try and wash the blood out of it.

As if he subconsciously sensed someone behind him, Dean glanced at the bathroom mirror, jumping when he saw Castiel standing behind him. "Don't do that!" he said, quietly.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel replied, also keeping his voice down to avoid waking Fiona. Backing away a bit, he glanced over at the sleeping hunter. Because Fiona shared such a strong connection with the Winchesters, it was easy for the angel to hone in on her location as a way to also find Sam and Dean.

"So how'd you find me?" Dean asked, coming out of the bathroom and tossing his jacket on the bed. "Thought I was flying below the angel radar."

"You are," Castiel confirmed. "Fiona is not. I was able to use her to track you." Looking around the motel room, he asked, "Where's Sam?"

"We're taking separate vacations for a while," Dean replied after a pause while he grabbed his favorite shirt out of his bag, pulling it on over his t-shirt. "So, did you find God yet?" he asked, starting to roll up the sleeves. "More importantly—can I have my damn necklace back, please?" He felt uncomfortable without the amulet hanging around his neck—like some vital part of him was missing.

"No, I haven't found Him," Castiel replied, flatly. "I need your help."

But before Dean could reply, Fiona's cell phone rang. Grabbing it before Fi woke up, Dean was surprised to hear Ellen's voice.

"Hey, is Fiona around?" Ellen asked, quickly.

"She's out," Dean replied, looking at Fi who was still snoring, lightly. "What's up?"

"Bobby got a call from Sam about—" Ellen stopped and Dean could distinctly hear Bobby yelling in the background. "I'm talking to him right now, Bobby! I thought you were calling Jo! Sorry, Dean," Ellen said after a moment. "Listen, I'm sure you're probably already on a case or something, but Jo could use some back up on a case in Garber, Oklahoma."

Dean looked from Fiona to Castiel. He didn't like the idea of Fiona going on a hunt by herself—especially if her only back-up was Jo Harvelle. On the other hand, there was the fact that Cas needed help, too. "Look, we're kinda busy right now, Ellen." But realizing that splitting up again was unavoidable, he added, "Fi and I are at the Woodview Motel in Greeley, Pennsylvania. Room 12. Just tell Jo to call before she swings by."

"You got it," Ellen promised. "Thanks, Dean. I owe you one."

Dean sighed as he hung up, looking from Cas to Fi and back again. He went over to Fiona, shaking her shoulder until she finally opened her eyes, glaring at him.

"What the hell do you want?" Fi grumbled as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. She blinked when she saw Cas and asked, "What's going on?"

Dean sat on Fi's bed, facing her as he said, "Ellen called. Jo needs back-up and Cas needs help with something."

"So why the hell did you wake me up?" Fiona replied, yawning.

"Jo is on her way here," Dean filled in. "Question is: do you want to go with her or do you want me to?"

Fiona considered the question for a moment. Dean would want her to go with Castiel, but right now Fi was in no mood to work with the angel who had basically sent her to Lilith unprepared for the meeting. If she had known that the demon was the final seal… "I'll go with Jo," Fi said, shrugging. "You and Castiel take care of… well, whatever." Lying back down, she asked, "Now can I please go back to sleep?"

When Dean was satisfied, he gave Cas a meaningful look and jerked his head in the direction of the door. When they were outside, Dean asked, "So what exactly do you need my help with?"

"An archangel," Castiel replied. "The one who killed me. I've heard that he's in Maine."

"Alright," Dean replied, nodding. He wasn't keen on joining Cas's little search for God, but he owed the angel at least a few times.

"Let's go," Castiel said, raising one hand to teleport Dean who quickly backed away.

"Whoa, whoa!" Dean said, quickly, putting up a hand to stop the angel.

"What?" Cas asked, sounding impatient.

"Last time you zapped me someplace, I didn't poop for a week!" Dean said, still vaguely feeling the cramps. When Cas frowned at that, Dean just said, "We're driving."

"Very well," Castiel acquiesced.

"So we'll wait until morning and then take off, okay?" Dean said, going to the door. Back inside the motel room, he kicked his shoes off and flopped down on his own bed to grab some sleep before road-tripping with Castiel.

On the one hand, Jo Harvelle couldn't believe that her mother was refusing to let her go alone on the job in Garber.

But the idea of working with Fiona Brendon—a hunter who also happened to be a tough-as-nails former Marine—sounded like fun.

As she drove to Pennsylvania, Jo thought about her unexpected push into being a hunter. It had started out as sneaking off and working a case with Sam and Dean a couple years ago and snowballed from there. She found a small group of hunters while investigating a haunting in Iowa and quickly hooked up with them.

Then she'd heard from her mother that Rufus needed help with a major demon situation in Colorado.

Hearing her phone ring, Jo grabbed it and grinned as she saw her mother's name on the caller ID. "What's going on?"

"Just checking in," Ellen replied, trying to sound like she wasn't worried. "How're you doin', Jo honey?"

"I'm fine, Mom," Jo assured her. "Just heading to Greeley right now."

"Be careful," Ellen said, gently, knowing that her daughter would be.

"I will, Mom," Jo promised before hanging up.

xxxx

It was nearing 8 o'clock when Jo pulled into the motel parking next to the black '67 Chevy Impala. Getting out of the car, she went to the room number Dean had given her and knocked, after a moment, the door opened and she stepped in, surprised to see that Dean was missing.

"Dean and Cas had something up in Maine," Fiona replied, wheeling over to her bed and grabbing her bag and stuffing a few last things into it. Looking over at Jo, she said, "Your mom didn't tell you what happened?"

"She said you got stabbed," Jo replied, pulling her gaze away from the wheelchair Fi was in. "She just didn't tell me how bad."

"I'll tell you everything on the way," Fi promised, grabbing her bag and setting it on her lap before heading for the door.

Once outside, Jo went to the passenger side door of her car and opened it. "So…"

"Relax, Jo," Fi said with a smile. "I can get in okay."

Jo nodded, uncertainly, but as she walked around the front of the car, she stopped, watching Fiona get in the car before folding up the wheelchair and pulling it inside before putting it in the backseat.

The two set off and Jo was extremely quiet as she drove. As they started towards Ohio, Jo asked, "So what happened that night?"

"I screwed up," Fi replied, shrugging. "Lilith possessed me and… And I said some things to Sam and Dean."

"Like what?" Jo asked, looking straight ahead. She remembered when Sam had been possessed and had taunted her with how her father had really died.

Fi sighed, hating as she remembered what she'd said. "I told Dean he was weak and broken… And I said… some other stuff to Sam."

"I don't know if they told you, but a couple years ago, Sam was possessed," Jo said, glancing at Fi before turning back to the road. "This demon, Meg… She said stuff… About how my dad really died."

Fiona didn't say anything for a while, and as it got later, she said, "When we were kids, Sam, Dean, and I were staying with Gibbs' family while our dads were on a hunt. Sammy was 8, Dean was 12, and I'd just had my 16th birthday. Gibbs' daughter, Kelly, had seen part of the movie 'Watership Down' on TV and she wanted to read the book."

Jo smiled a bit as she imagined the group reading the book, taking turns doing the voices for the different characters. "Sounds like fun."

Fiona nodded, remembering that time and wishing things had played out differently. "Kelly gave me, Sam, and Dean nicknames based on three of the rabbits in the book," she went on, going back into the memory.

November 7th, 1992

Washington, DC

Gibbs Residence

Most kids had their clubhouses in a treehouse in the backyard.

Kelly Gibbs had hers in the basement of her house, underneath the boat her daddy was building.

Huddled underneath the boat, she, Sam and Dean Winchester, and Fiona Brendon read 'Watership Down', even taking turns doing voices.

When the book was finished, Kelly said, "I wish I was a rabbit."

"Oh, yeah?" Fiona asked with a smile. "Which rabbit would you be?"

Kelly thought about it for a while and finally replied, "Hyzenthlay." Looking at Dean, she grinned. "You can be Bigwig."

"Why Bigwig?" Dean asked, frowning a bit.

"Because he's strong and tough, and he looks out for the other rabbits," Kelly explained. "And Sammy can be Hazel because he's really smart and really brave."

Fiona looked at the others, feeling just the slightest bit left out.

But Kelly seemed to know that and she beamed as she said, "Fi, you're Fiver."

"Why does Fi get to be Fiver?" Sammy asked, frowning.

"Because none of the other rabbits would have made it without Fiver," Dean replied, simply, giving the girl that was his best friend a smile.

Present Day

Waterville, Maine

Castiel wasn't much of a talker and it made the drive to Maine seem even longer. It was also the first time that Dean had honestly missed Sam and Fiona. At least they were good for conversation.

"Tell me again what we're doing here," Dean said as he parked the Impala across from the police station and got out of the car, Castiel following suit.

"A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the archangel," Castiel replied, following Dean up to the building.

"And he still has eyes?" Dean asked, surprised. He still remembered how Pamela Barnes had taken just a peek at Cas's true form and her eyes had burned out of her skull. When the angel didn't answer, Dean sighed and looked at the police station. "Alright, so what's the plan?"

"We'll tell the officer that he witnessed an angel of the Lord," Cas replied, as though the answer were obvious. "Then he'll tell us where the angel is."

"Seriously?" Dean said, not believing what he was hearing. "You're gonna walk in there and tell them the truth?"

"Why not?" Castiel replied, confused. Humans were such complicated creatures. Wouldn't life be easier if everyone was straightforward and honest?"

'Because if you tell the cops the truth,' Dean thought as he rummaged for the spare FBI ID he had. '—you'll be locked in a padded room instead of finding God.' But out loud, he said, "Because we're humans." Putting the extra ID in the inside pocket of Cas's trenchcoat, he added, "And when humans want something really, really bad—we lie."

Looking back on it, Dean thought that the meeting with Deputy Sheriff Framingham hadn't gone as badly as it could have been. Sure the officer probably thought that FBI agents Mosley and Moscone were nutjobs that probably were on someone's shitlist.

But when he and Cas got to St. Pete's Hospital, and Dean saw the catatonic man that had once housed the archangel they were searching for, Dean felt sick to his stomach. "So is this what I'm looking at if Michael jumps my bones?" he asked, really not wanting to hear the answer.

"No, not at all," Castiel replied, earnestly. "Michael is much more powerful. It'll be far worse for you."

Dean swallowed and looked away, not wanting to think about 'far worse'.

Getting to the rehab center early on Monday morning, Sam stopped when he saw a tall, leggy brunette standing at the front desk. Before she even turned around, before he even heard her speak, Sam knew who it was. He knew her by the scent of her and he could feel his heart pounding as he imagined the taste of her blood.

When the woman turned in his direction, Sam stiffened as Ruby smiled at him, pretending that she wasn't part of the reason that he was here and not with Dean and Fiona.

"Hey there, stranger," Ruby said as Sam approached her, his expression stony. Thankfully, he didn't seem to have any weapons on him which made her feel just a little bit safer.

"What are you doing here, Ruby?" Sam demanded after pulling her off to the side.

"Can't I just come visit an old lover?" Ruby asked with a smile.

"No," Sam snapped, irritably. "Now answer the question."

Ruby looked around the building as if looking for someone. "Couple of your hunting buddies caught wind of your abilities with the demon blood. Until this morning, they were on their way here."

"What did you do?" Sam asked coldly. When Ruby didn't answer, he tightened his grip on her arm and asked again, "Ruby… What did you do?"

"They're alive, Sam," Ruby said, quietly, trying to pull her arm from Sam's grip. "And I laid a trail leading towards Oregon." Finally getting free, she pulled down the sleeves of her shirt and headed towards the door without another word.

"Long story?" Diane said as she walked up to Sam who was watching Ruby head across the parking lot. When Sam gave her a puzzled look, she said, "That chick you were talking to." When Sam stayed silent, she gently took his hand and led him to the cafeteria before getting both of them cups of coffee. "Start from the beginning."

"You're a shrink and a physical therapist?" Sam asked, with a soft laugh.

"And I'm working on master chef on my days off," Diane replied with a smile.

Sam thought for a moment and finally said, "More than a year ago, I… I almost lost my brother. He was… He was in a coma for four months. No brain activity, nothing. He was… He was basically dead."

Diane didn't say anything, but she put a comforting hand on Sam's.

"Ruby… got me into it," Sam went on, staring down at his barely touched coffee cup. "I didn't want to, but… But at first it helped with the pain and the guilt. Dean was hurt trying to save my life."

"Have you ever talked to a shrink about this?" Diane asked, frowning.

Sam shook his head. "What my brother and I used to do, it's a family business. Not a lot of people would understand."

Realizing that Sam didn't want to get into it, she said, "So what happened with your brother and Ruby?"

"Uh, Dean woke up," Sam went on. "He found out that Ruby was getting me addicted. Tried to warn me over and over and… I didn't listen."

"You're here now," Diane observed. "And you look healthy to me."

"Near-death experience, detox…" Sam said with a shrug. "But I still hurt people. And I didn't trust myself with my old job." Letting out a nervous laugh, he said, "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"No, I don't," Diane replied, honestly. When Sam looked up, she sighed. "I was a partier in college. Booze, drugs, sex… I did it all. And my brother was always there to pull me out of each and every single mess. Never complained, didn't judge…"

Sam nodded, thinking of Dean and Fi. "So what happened?"

"Brian was out of town when I called him one night," Diane said, with a long sigh. "I tried to drive home. Crashed the car—broke both legs, shattered my right elbow, broke 3 ribs… internal injuries, head trauma… I was in a coma for nearly a year. Took another 5 years to learn to walk again." She squeezed Sam's hand, giving him a smile. "Brian never left my side. He never gave up on me."

"Dean and I lost our mother when he was 4 and I was 6 months old," Sam told Diane after downing his coffee in one go. "Our Dad died 4 years ago. The only family we have left is our friend Bobby and Fiona."

"I know it's hard dealing with recovery," Diane interjected. "But you can't cut yourself off. You've got to have someone in your corner to back you up."

The demon attack had happened suddenly as soon as Jo and Fiona were out of the car, getting ready to enter the motel. It was if the demons had been expecting them.

Without a second to think, Fi tossed a shotgun to Jo who caught it, firing a shot at the nearest demon while Fiona whipped out her knife, stabbing one demon in the gut before reaching behind her and catching another in the chest. Seeing another demon rush Jo from behind, Fi shouted out a warning, tossing the knife while Jo tossed the shotgun.

Fiona got off a shot, giving Jo enough time to avoid the attack and slit the demon's throat. But suddenly, one of the demons grabbed the back of Fiona's wheelchair, while another grabbed the shotgun, tossing it across the parking lot. Without even thinking, Fi launched herself out of the wheelchair, grabbing at the nearest demon and pulling her down to the ground before saying the exorcism incantation.

Jo made a run for the shotgun, and managed to toss it to Fiona just before another demon grabbed her.

Fiona tried to raise the shotgun to take a shot but another demon grabbed her, throwing her into another car.

"FI!"

At first, Fiona thought she was imagining things, especially when her vision started to blur and she felt herself losing consciousness.

It couldn't really be Sam.

Could it?

xx

Fiona groaned as she slowly regained consciousness. Blinking as she looked around, he felt a sudden stab of pain in her side and her head throbbed.

"Fiona?" Jo said, watching the older hunter as she slowly sat up, a hand on her side.

"Please tell me you sent those damn demons back to Hell," Fiona groaned, giving up on sitting up and slowly lying back down.

"Yeah, they're gone," Jo confirmed, holding out a couple painkillers and a glass of scotch.

Fi sat up just a bit before she took the offering and downed the pills followed by the booze. Lying back down, she blinked as she saw the man sitting at the table nearby, working on a laptop. "Sam?" she said, puzzled.

"Fi," Sam replied, getting up when he heard his name and went over to Fiona, helping her sit up before putting a few extra pillows behind her. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I was thrown against a car," Fiona replied, gently rubbing the back of her head. Frowning as she looked at Sam who was sitting on the edge of the bed, she asked, "What're you doing here?"

"I called Ellen and she told me you were in town," Sam said with a shrug. After his talk with Diane the day before, he realized she was right and after his shift was over for the day, Sam had called Ellen to find out where Fiona was.

The problem had been that there were 3 motels in the area and after checking the first two, Sam had headed for the last one.

When he'd started to pull in, he heard a shotgun blast and had careened into the lot, jumping out of the car just as a demon threw Fiona into another car. When Sam thought about what might have happened if he'd been too late—or if he'd just stayed where he was, he felt sick to his stomach.

One couldn't leave Maine without sampling an authentic lobster roll.

Especially if that one happened to be a hunter who had avoided death or worse at the hands of a rather sadistic teenager-mutant-ninja-archangel.

Sitting in a seafood shack by the beach, Dean reflected on the past few days.

His drive with Castiel had been filled with mostly one-sided conversation and even after getting to Maine, things hadn't seemed to be any better. Especially not after Raphael had dropped the news that God was dead—something that Castiel hadn't reacted well to.

But on the other hand, trying to get the fallen angel laid had made for one of the most entertaining nights of his life.

"Are you alright?" Castiel asked as he suddenly appeared across from Dean.

"Yeah," Dean replied, setting his lobster roll down on his plate and grabbing the ketchup for his French fries. "What about you?" When Castiel said nothing, Dean set the ketchup bottle down and moved his plate back a bit before resting his arms on the table, leaning forward. "Look, I'll be the first person to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts. But I do know a little something about missing fathers."

"What do you mean?" Cas asked, frowning a bit.

"I mean there were times when I was looking for my dad when... all logic said that he was dead," Dean replied, giving Castiel a meaningful look. "But I knew, in my heart, that he was still alive. So who cares what some mutant ninja turtle says, Cas," he said, trying to sound reassuring. "What do you believe?"

"I believe he's out there," Cas replied, simply. Although, truth be told, his belief was more about denial, rather than what his heart told him. God had to be out there. There was no alternative.

"Good," Dean said, encouragingly. "Then go find him."

"What about you?" Cas asked, wondering how Dean was doing flying solo.

"What about me?" Dean repeated, caught off guard by the question a little bit. But as he started thinking about it, he finally replied, I dunno. Honestly? I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am. I'm really good."

"Even without your brother and Fiona?" Cas asked, surprised by the response. From what he had always seen of the Winchesters, family was more important than anything else. "Especially without them," Dean says after a second, even though he felt it was something of a betrayal to say it out loud. "I mean I love my brother, I do. But the past couple years I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch... I mean I've had more fun with you in the past twenty four hours than I've had with Sam in ages. And you're not that much fun," he added, with a dry smile.

"And Fiona?" Cas queried, his curiosity piqued.

"Sometimes I think Fi and I are more like siblings than Sam and I could ever be," Dean said, thoughtfully. "I know she's older, but for a long time, I always acted like her big brother, too. And until lately, she was the only one who I knew would have my back no matter what." Thinking of the past weeks, he added, "But not having to worry about Fi… I know she's trying to prove herself because of the damn wheelchair, but… But she really shouldn't be in this right now. It's too dangerous for her and I can't be watching her back and Sammy's all the time."

Dean was quite for a minute or two before he finally went on. "It's funny, you know. I've been so chained to my family all these years. But now that I'm alone…hell, I'm happy."

When the angel winged off, Dean finished off his lunch and headed back to the Impala, ready to get out of there.

Sam couldn't sleep.

He wished he could, and even though he tried everything he could, sleep wouldn't come. It was as if something or someone was purposely keeping him awake.

"Hello, Sam." Castiel's appearance had been all but silent and he studied Sam intently. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Sam replied, keeping his voice down so he didn't wake Jo or Fiona who were sharing one of the two queen sized beds.

"You need to know, Sam. The whole truth," Cas replied, winging himself and Sam to a field far away from the motel.

"The truth about what?" Sam asked, still confused.

"You are Lucifer's true vessel," Castiel said, succinctly.

"No," Sam said, quickly, not wanting to believe it. "No, that can't be—" Trying not to breakdown, he shook his head. "No, that's not possible."

Castiel looked sincerely regretful as he said, "I wish I could tell you otherwise."

"There has to be another way!" Sam said, quickly, trying not to think about the fact that he was the devil's chosen meat suit.

"There's only one other alternative," Castiel went on. "Fiona gave you her blood to save your life. It would be far from ideal, but—"

"'But' what?" Sam snapped, not believing what he was hearing. "So my choices are either say 'yes' to Lucifer or let Fiona do it? Why are you telling me this?"

Castiel sighed and waited until Sam calmed down slightly before explaining. "Fiona was never meant to survive. Lilith killed her mother. She meant to kill Fiona as well, but somehow Fiona survived. She is a chosen vessel, Sam. Whether it's for Lucifer or… or for you."

By now Sam was completely out of his element and he wished the angel would start making sense.

"Fiona is meant to save your soul, Sam," Cas concluded. "How she will do it is uncertain."

Before Sam could say anything else, he found himself back in the hotel room and just as sleepless as before.