Konosuba/Re: Zero. Kazuma Satou, Subaru Natsuki. Chapter 3: Bully or Mentor
The morning of a "New" day.
Kazuma's POV
Hmm, my stomach is rumbling, oh yeah I haven't eaten anything since, since when exactly? I ate before I went to Wiz's shop, but didn't I eat some chips that Subaru had, no that can't be right, I also didn't eat any of the food I prepared for me and Felt. Well, time to find the kitchen again.
I quickly got dressed into my adventurer clothes as I strapped Chunchunmaru onto my belt on the right side, before I attached my mithril rope to my belt, placing it on my left. After that I put my mask into my quiver's secret compartment and left both the bow and the quiver behind beside my night table. I then walked over to the door and opened it.
"Oh, good morning," Fake… I mean Emilia said a little surprised by me opening the door just as she was about to knock.
"Yeah sure," I answered simply, as she got out of the doorway and let me through.
"I was about to see check up on Subaru would you care to join me?" She asked timidly, her mannerisms reminding me that of Yunyun, so I just nodded and let her lead the way.
Subaru's POV
"I know this ceiling," I noted to myself as I woke up in a gigantic bed again.
"Oh, he has awakened sister," A female voice rang out from my left, but I didn't care to look to my right.
"Indeed, he has Rem," Another female voice confirmed, but I just ignored them.
"Hard to believe a total night owl like me can wake up so early, I am getting all emotional, I should probably go to sleep a second time, no wait a sec, I woke up earlier so that would make this the third," I said to myself, thinking out loudly.
"My what a deadbeat thing to say, did you hear that sister?" The first woman spoke again.
"I heard him Rem, truly the words of a loser," The second female voice confirmed, which ticked me off.
"HEY! WHO ARE THESE TWO VOICES THAT KEEP Criticizing me in Stereo," But then I was shocked by what I saw.
"N-no way, short-skirted maid costumes exists in this world too," I took in the two twins beauty as I high fived myself mentally, now this is starting to look like a generic isekai-adventure.
"This is going to be awesome!" I erupted out in excitement as I did a fist-pump, this is the kind of great things that were supposed to happen to you when you were summoned to another world.
"What terrible thoughts this one is having, you are being repeatedly violated in the mind of our guest sister," The blue haired maid accused as she held her… twin sister's hand with her own.
"Truly terrible indeed, you are experiencing the ultimate shame in the mind of our guest Rem," The red haired maid coldly stated.
"Don't underestimate the capacity of my mind, you are both fair pray in my mind, little maids," I threatened as I wiggled my fingers around, pretending I could steal their panties with just my mind, before I a light knocking on the open door caught my attention.
"Seems like you can't even wake up without causing a commotion, huh Subaru," Emilia stood in the door with a grumpy Kazuma behind her, how he could be grumpy when a beautiful girl such as Emilia was with him was beyond my comprehension. Just seeing her again relieved me of so much stress, FINALLY some familiar faces.
Kazuma's POV
I wanted to facepalm at this guy pretty much drooling like a dog, as soon as he looked at Fake… Emilia. I looked at the twin maids that were with him, and I instantly knew to keep myself as far away from the blue one as possible, she looked at me with cold eyes, but my {Enemy detection} was going off and it felt like she wanted to hurt me, real bad.
The pink-haired one was a carbon copy of her sister, except for her sister having blue hair, the boob size and her having… red eyes instead of blue. I really don't like this world so far, but that might just be the hunger speaking. If I get some food, I am sure this gnawing feeling will go away.
"Whoever picked that outfit DEFINITIVELY GETS IT!" Subaru suddenly bursted out, making me want to smack him over the head with the blunt side of Chunchunmaru, for being so irritating when I am hungry.
"I am not even going to pretend to know what you are talking about, but the fact that I know it is something stupid is… disappointing," She quickly answered.
"Listen to this miss Emilia, without provocation my dear sister was just violated by that man," The scary one said as she pointed an accusing finger on Subaru.
"Please listen to this miss Emilia, Rem was just held prisoner and shamed by that man," The pretty one said as she pointed an accusing finger in just the same fashion as her sister on Subaru.
"That's enough you two, don't tease him so much," Emilia unfazed by their remarks said as she walked over to Subaru.
"Yes, of course miss Emilia, my sister is very sorry," Rem said first as she lowered her arm.
"Yes, of course miss Emilia, Rem is sorry as well," The pretty one said as she copied her sister.
"Tell me, are you feeling alright today, does anything feel off to you?" She gently questioned Subaru, making him finally stop drooling over himself.
"Huh, nah, just a bit groggy from oversleeping, so you were the one that saved both me and Kazuma, isn't that right Millie?" Oh no, he has given her a nickname.
"Huh, Millie, why would you call me that?" She asked surprised by him giving her a nickname.
"It is just a nickname, no big deal, seriously though, thank you, you saved me, twice that is," He said blushing as he bowed from where he was sitting in his bed, totally forgetting about how I also saved him twice.
"Not at all, honestly I am the one that should be thanking you, you barely even know me, but you still risked your own life in order to protect mine, it is only natural I would heal your wounds after something like that, same goes for you, Kazuma," Fake… EMILIA suddenly said as she directed her attention back at me, but she didn't meet my gaze.
"You know, catching up and saying our thanks is good and all, but I haven't eaten since yesterday, so could I get something to eat, hell I will even make it myself if I can just use the kitchen," I answered, my hunger was clearly getting to me.
"Uhm of course, Rem, Ram, when will breakfast be served?" She hurriedly asked the maids.
"As soon as master Roswaal return miss Emilia," They said simultaneously.
"Does that sound good, or would you still like to use the kitchen to prepare something for yourself Kazuma?" F… Emilia asked me, now a little calmer.
"Nah, I can wait," I answered making her let out a sigh of relief.
"With that out of the way, I think it is time to go out and start a brand new day!" Subaru happily stated as he rose from his bed.
"I can show you around the mansion, while Rem and Ram finishes the preparations for dinner," Emilia quickly offered. The twins then bowed before they quickly left the three of us alone.
"So where is Felt?" I suddenly blurted out, not really knowing why I asked that.
"She is out in the garden with Rom, at least the last time I checked, I could show you the way, if you want?"
"Su-"
"Yeah! The garden would be the perfect place," Subaru interrupted me, ok if he does one more annoying thing before I get food, I am punching him.
"You should get dressed Subaru, we will wait in the hallway until you are ready," She said in a gentle tone as she walked outside, but I just closed the door after her, I needed to ask him something privately.
"Hey! I am going to change, so leave," Subaru complained.
"Shut up! How the fuck did you know the password, either you were extremely lucky or you heard it from someone, so tell me how you knew," I ordered, my tone a little harsh since I was hungry.
"I heard Felt saying it," He answered, and he didn't seem to be lying, but that didn't make sense to me.
"What, we met Felt at the loot house, or… I feel like we met Felt in the alley, you know what, just forget about it, my memory is a bit hazy after I got chopped up by that bitch," I said as I left the room.
After a few minutes of waiting Subaru joined us after he had put on his black/white/orange tracksuit. Emilia led the way as I walked on her left with Subaru on her right. He seemed so distracted that I might as well just teach him to pay attention to his surroundings.
"{Create water}{Freeze}" I chanted making a little puddle of water freeze in an instant, so that Subaru would slip and fall on his ass.
"Woah," CRASH, or more correctly he stumbled forward and crashed into a vase. Hope I don't get in trouble for that, or more importantly don't get in debt for that.
"What did you do that for!" Subaru loudly complained as he stood up from the broken vase and dusted himself off, while Emilia looked at me with confusion present on her face.
"You need to pay more attention while you walk, and not being overly focused on something or in this case someone, all the time," Like a certain perverted crusader does when we fight a bunch of enemies, and she only focuses on getting hit by the strongest one.
"I have never heard a chant like that before," Emilia said, as she suddenly grabbed ahold of my hand, making me flinch away.
"Personal space please, is it okay to just suddenly grab someone like that in Lugnica?" I asked rhetorically.
"Oh, I am sorry for being so brazen, you just piqued my interest with that unfamiliar magic chant," She quickly apologized, as she backed away from me, while Subaru looked at me with angry eyes. No wait a second, was he jealous? I looked down at the hand Emelia had grabbed and rubbed it in my face, and his expression got even clearer.
"So those are the kind of eyes you give a man that has saved your life, remind me to not repeat the action," I told him sternly, which seemed to calm him down a bit.
"Hmm, no I think it was just the hunger affecting me, please think nothing of it," Subaru apologized, but he wasn't exactly very sincere.
"You aren't hurt are you?" Emilia asked him in a little worried tone, which made him shake his head furiously.
"N-no not at all Millie, your kindness is the one thing that can heal me," Oh god, he really just said all that cringy stuff, unironically.
"Don't say stuff like that," Preach sister! "If you don't mean it," Oh, so she didn't believe he was serious. I guess she doesn't interact a lot with other people, or she thinks she is not worthy of compliments, just like Yunyun.
"Let us now proceed to the garden, I am sure Felt will be happy to see you two again," Emilia cheerfully said as she went back to showing us around, I didn't pay too much attention to the tour, while Subaru went back to being distracted by Emilia, so he probably didn't catch much either.
When we came out in the garden… yard… field, yes it was a field with beautifully trimmed bushes and cut grass with well executed flower dispersal. After looking around for a bit I saw a little nice wood lounge with a huge man sitting under it, as a girl with golden blonde hair ran around in the field, seemingly enjoying herself. We went over to the big man, catching his attention.
"Wasn't your name Rom?" I queried as we all sat down in the little white outdoor lounge.
"That is correct, Kazuma, Emilia and scary-eyes, good to see you are all well," He said with a gentle smile as he returned to look at the girl dashing around in the field until she noticed the we had arrived.
"Hey! My name is Subaru," He shot in clearly offended by not being remembered.
"I heard you made some food for Felt, seemed to have done her well, thanks for that," Rom suddenly complimented me, his sincerity catching me off-guard.
"Eh, You are thanking me for that, but not me killing the psycho in the loot house, your priorities on what to praise are really skewed man," I attacked trying to plaster over my shocked confusion.
"Maybe," Old man Rom said as he smirked at me, like he had already figured me out.
"Has the accommodations in this mansion been adequate for you?" Emilia suddenly asked, clearly confusing Rom with her difficult words.
"Do you like it here so far? Is what she is trying to ask," Subaru translated, making Rom chuckle.
"After I was reunited with Felt, I started to like it here," Rom answered, making Emilia's smile brighten, leading to Subaru smiling.
Felt's POV
"What are you guys smiling for?" I shot in as I reached the group, with scary-eyes, old man Rom and Emilia smiling from ear-to-ear like someone had just told a great joke. Kazuma was the only one looking grumpy.
"Rom is glad you are safe, which lead him to enjoy it here, further leading to Emilia being happy about Rom being happy, and Subaru is happy to see Emilia smile, did you catch of all of that Felt?" Kazuma quickly summarized with disinterest showing in his voice.
"Yeah, I got that," I answered as Subaru rose from his bench.
"Millie would you care to join me for some training?" Subaru offered, catching her attention, while Kazuma made some distance between him and Subaru. Didn't he like training or something?
"What kind of training do you have in mind?" Emilia asked curiously.
"Come I will show you," He retorted as he went out of the lounge and out on the grass with Emilia following behind him.
"Ok so we are going to do warm-up exercises and Cal athletics, now copy what I am doing,"
"Do you want to play a game of tag?" Kazuma suddenly shot in as he came up on my right, making me lose focus of whatever the other two were doing.
"I am not a kid," I told him sternly, Subaru had thought I was a kid for some reason.
"I didn't think you were a kid either, you look between 12 and 15, but from how you act I would guess 15," He guessed quite accurately, surprising me.
"That is some good guessing, but how can you guess so accurately when you barely know me?" I asked a little more curious.
"You remind me of some friends I have, but now it is your turn to guess how old I am, if you miss by 1 year I will still count it, and you can ask me for 1 favor, but if you miss you owe me 1 favor, sound fair?" He proposed, and it sounded like a good bet and I felt confident about this.
"Hmm, Subaru said he was 17, and you guys seem to come from the same country, but you are more experienced in battle, so I would guess 18 based on that, however you look younger than him, basing my answer on that I would say you are 16, so I am going to guess you are 17 and be done with it," I summarized, which made Rom sigh audibly like I had made a mistake.
"He told me he was 20 Felt, so-"
"Nope she is spot on, I am 17, I'll owe you a favor for later," Kazuma interrupted, shocking Rom.
"So you lied about your age so you could get some beer, not that I care, you seem used to drinking," Rom said, causing Kazuma to shrug in reply.
"VICTORY!" Subaru suddenly yelled followed up by Emilia and then her little cute spirit, yes it had been throwing icicles all around the loot house yesterday, but I still wanted to pet it so I dashed towards it, with Rom and Kazuma slowly following from behind.
"It is ok Lia, because I can't find any trace of hostility or malice in him," The cute spirit said pointing at Subaru as I got close to them.
"It is so cute how you call her Lia," Subaru said with a smile, as he held him in his hands.
"It is not half as cute, when you call her Millie," The cat spirit countered.
"You really are a strange one, aren't you Subaru," I could hear Emilia whisper, which caught his attention as he looked at her with confusion. She didn't repeat her statement just sent him a bright smile, that made him blush.
"Has Roswaal returned?" Emilia suddenly asked as she looked over at the two twin maids that had just suddenly appeared, good god they were sneaky.
"Miss Emilia, our lord master Roswaal has finally returned home, please come inside and join him for breakfast," They said in total synchronization, creeping me out.
Skip to dining room
"I was watching you from upstairs, and you know what? It would appear you are quite an imbecile, I suppose," The little girl from earlier said to Subaru as we entered the dining room.
"And just where do you get off saying that, you LOLI!" He answered back angrily.
"What does that word even mean? I have never even heard it before and it just irritates me, I think you just made it up," She answered with contempt in her voice.
"BETTY! I haven't seen you in four days, hope you have been doing well and staying ladylike," The cat said as Emilia entered with him on her right shoulder.
"HELLO BUBBY! I have been waiting so eagerly for you to come home! Will you stay with me today, you suppose?" Betty said with an adoring voice as she held out her hands for, Bubby. That cat has such a cute name.
"Yeah sure, no problem, today is the day we can finally relax together," Bubby said as he floated into her tiny hands.
"AWW, this will be great!" Betty excitedly said as she spun around happily while carrying Bubby in her hands.
"Feeling bewildered aren't you, Beatrice is so taken with Puck she can't get enough," Emilia revealed their true names, but I am still going to call them Betty and Bubby.
"I can't believe you just said bewildered unironically," Subaru answered with a nervous smile.
"Ok, so her big weakness is Puck, good to know, means she will probably leave me alone," Kazuma said out loud as he entered the room with Rom behind him.
"Hmm, smells good," Rom noted as he entered the room, I had to agree, but the food I had yesterday night smelled even better.
"My, my, how uuunusual to see you here Beatrice, I am so happy you are dining with me, I do ever so love your company, and treasure our times together," The clown Lord said as he entered the room shocking Subaru, but nobody else. I guess they also met him before.
"That boy is more than enough addle brain fool for me, I suppose" Betty said in her cold tone. "Betty was only waiting around for Bubby!" Betty said in her adorable voice as she affectionately rubbed Bubby up against her cheek.
"Wow, so you guys hired a clown to entertain you before each meal, I will never understand how you rich folks think," Subaru said as he patted the back of the LORD, the fricking LORD. If he got blown to bits know I wouldn't be surprised, I have heard about people being killed for less by grumpy nobles.
"Oh god, Subaru is dead," Kazuma whispered to himself as he facepalmed.
"Uhm, Subaru, that man is actually-"
"Oh no, it is quite alright, miss Emelia, I will handle the introductions," Roswaal interrupted Emilia as he took the word.
"What's going on?" Subaru asked dumbfounded.
"I am in faaact the Lord of this manor, Roswaal L Mathers, so very pleased to make your acquaintance, Subaru Natsuki, right?" He said as he got right up in the now very nervous face of Subaru.
"Follow me Miss Felt, this seat is reserved for you," Ram said as she guided me to a chair that was right next to Betty, with Kazuma on my left, Rom on his left and Subaru and Emilia opposite of me and Betty.
"Finally, some food," Kazuma said gratefully as both he and Subaru grabbed a spoon and started to eat the soup.
"This is way better than normal food," Subaru commented as I took my own spoonful, and don't get me wrong it was some of the best food I have ever tasted, but what I had yesterday was even better. I just couldn't get that meal out of my head.
"Mhmm, despite her appearance Rem's cooking is quite impressive," Roswaal complimented as he gestured to the blue maid.
"So this was cooked by the one with the blue-hair… I think I got that right, you made this?" Subaru asked.
"Yes, that is correct, I am responsible for all of the cooking in this household, my sister doesn't happen to be very good at cooking," Rem quickly retorted.
Kazuma's POV
"Ah, so it is the good old "twins that are good at different things" trope, so your sister is good at cleaning then I take it," Subaru stated very sure of himself, when will he realize this isn't a fucking VIDEO GAME!
"Yes, that is correct, my sister excels at housework's chores, especially cleaning and laundry," Rem quickly retorted.
"So, while you are good at cooking, you are probably bad at cleaning and laundry, right Rem-rin" Subaru guessed, while pointing his spoon at Rem, oh please let him be wrong. I so want him to be wrong.
"On the contrary, I am generally good at all households tasks, I am also better at cleaning and laundry than my sister," She said exactly what I wanted to hear, take that… I have to come up with a nickname for him.
"You are truuuly a unique young man, you come to the mansion of Margrave Mathers in the kingdom of Luuugnica, and you say you don't understand a thing," He noted in his usual unusual way of speaking.
"So what do you mean by that, is something bad happening in this country?" He asked with a spoonful of soup halfway to his mouth.
"Well, it is not in an agreeable state, which only makes sense, after all Lugnicaaa doesn't have a King, now don't look so aaalarmed there is no need to be concerned, everyone in this country is already quiiite aware of that circumstance being the reality," Roswaal reassured, well as long as I don't have to deal with a terrorist group trying to take over I am not worried.
"Wow, really, I expected a "Now that you know my secret, I can't let you leave here alive," thing," Subaru said, still making it sound like this is a video game, WHICH IS NOT THE CASE.
"Roughly about the same time the king went into the hiding, an epidemic began to spread throughout the castle, the king and his children are the last of his line, at this moment the country is being managed by a group of wiiise-men, and that cooouncil is currently in the process of selecting a new ruuuler," Roswaal expositioned to him, so this country is basically an oligarchy at the moment good to know.
Wait with all these pieces in place me and Subaru are "Totally suspect here!" Subaru took the words out of my mouth for once.
"Aaand on top of that you took contact with miss Emilia, thus initiating a direct connection to my household, aaah the dilemma," Roswaal calmly explained.
"Hey, hold on a second why would the Lord of the mansion call her Miss Emilia?" He dumbly asked, didn't we already go over this with the insignia and everything.
"I am not sure how things are where you are from, but here we address those with higher status respectfuuully," Roswaal answered with a smile on his face.
"But that would mean Millie here is, is a,"
"That means that both Felt and Emilia are viable candidates for the throne, hey then I might have to call you princess Felt," I shot in, with clear snark as I directed the last part at Felt.
"Don't call me that!" She complained as she punched me in my arm, it hurt a little bit, but nothing I couldn't handle.
"Well officially, we are candidates for the 42nd ruler for the kingdom of Lugnica, however I have the backing of Roswaal, and we still need to find a noble family that would want to support Felt," Emilia summarized, finally Subaru seemed to catch on.
"I never said a wanted to become a ruler of this crappy country, all the nobles I have met or heard about just use us normal folks like me and Rom for their own twisted agendas, I don't want to deal with them," Felt was clearly upset at this revelation, but I think her anger got the better of her since she kind of forgot that Roswaal, A NOBLE, was sitting right next to us.
"My, my, suuuch harsh words, should I feel offended Miss Felt?" Roswaal asked with a calm smile, making Felt shut up and grabbing ahold of my mantle, ok, I will help you out of this one Felt.
"Not all nobles are the same from my experience, some use their power and position to help out their people, however they are not the norm, most nobles I have met does abuse their power, so Felt's words are justified, at least if she meant it in general, I am sure she has appreciated the hospitality you have provided and didn't mean to offend you," I defended her, making Roswaal send me a satisfied smile, my gut feeling told me to be vary of him.
"You taaalk like a true diplomat, Kazuma, do not worry no offense is taaaken, Felt has been living in the slums for most her life so a resentment towards the nobility is quite uuunderstandable," He said understandingly, causing Felt's grip around my mantle to loosen until she finally let go. Then Rom patted me on my back, and when I looked to the giant old man he was smiling at me with a loving smile. He might have meant for it to be a nice gesture but it freaked me out.
"I still don't get why I have to become some ruler candidate, I never wanted that," Felt complained.
Emilia put her insignia on the table. "This qualifies one as a viable ruler candidate, it is a ceremonial touch stone that is used to determine if one is worthy to sit at the throne and lead this country as a monarch," Emilia explained thoroughly, however Felt didn't seem to care.
"WAIT A SECOND! Are you saying you lost an insignia that qualifies you to rule the kingdom!" Subaru shot in clearly shocked over the real value this item represented.
"Now don't put it like that, I didn't lose it, she stole it from me," Emilia defended as she pointed an accusing finger at Felt.
"It's not my fault you don't pay enough attention to your things," Felt shot back.
"What happens if you manage to lose that thing anyway, will the government office issue another one or something?" Subaru queried, as he stared at the insignia like it was a block of pure gold.
"Oooh, what a dreadful scenariooo, if you had lost it there would be no douuubt, the belief would be that one who can't even protect a tiny insiiignia has no business being entrusted with the nation's rule, aaand that would be the end," Roswaal told us, with a hint of relief in his voice.
"Well, knowing those facts I would say I did a damn good job, and it totally raises my expectations for a nice reward," He said while wiggling his fingers around like an amateur.
"Excuse me, what the fuck did you do that would merit a reward, I was the one that killed that psycho bitch, while you sat on your ass most of the time, occasionally swinging an oversized club in the air," I challenged, now finally my time to point my spoon at someone.
"If it hadn't been for me we wouldn't have found the loot house," Subaru defended.
"True, but you wouldn't even had a chance of telling us that if I hadn't saved your ass back in the alley, and gotten Emilia to stabilize you, so if anyone deserves a reward it is me," I argued, and I was about to go on but then…
"You are both worthy of a reward after all the effort you put in to help me, and I am very thankful for that, so you can both ask me for anything," Emilia shot in before I could go on, now what would I want.
"You heard the Lady, aaany reward you desire, just name iiit," Roswaal offered as he stretched out his arms.
"Hehe, Well in that case I have but one request, I am starting to like this mansion, HIRE ME TO WORK HERE!" Subaru bursted out, now that is a horrible reward to ask for when you just saved someone from losing their chance at becoming the ruler of a country. Everyone else in the room seemed to agree with me, because the room went completely silent.
"Achoo," Ram broke the silence with a cute sneeze
"Aaand you Kazuma, what would you want as a rewaaard?" Roswaal urged me to answer, probably hoping I would demand something more extravagant than Subaru.
"The library we met Beatrice in, how extensive is the information that can be found there, and how many things does the books cover?" I wanted to know, maybe I could find a way to get back home in there.
"Quite extensive and the books cover a lot, I suppose," Beatrice answered my question.
"If that is the case, I would want to read whatever books I choose to in the library for as long as I want, without being worried about Beatrice over her harming me or flinging me out of the room," I demanded.
"Beatrice what do you have to saaay about me allowing him in the forbidden library?" Roswaal questioned her.
"If he can get there then I won't harm him, I suppose," Beatrice retorted, the suppose putting me a little bit off.
"The way you said that is very off-putting," Subaru took the words from my mouth again.
"Don't mind Betty, that is just one of her little quirks, she always ends her sentences like that," Puck reassured us, but after having seen him throw ice spears around like Aqua throws party tricks yesterday, it didn't really put me at ease.
"Kazuma it would seem I am able to fulfiiill your demand, in the meantime you can be my honooored guest, however you must get into the library on your own, without harming aaanyone," Roswaal put out the requirements.
"Sounds fair to me, if you need me I will be in the forbidden library," I said as I walked out the door, and closed it behind me. From how willing Roswaal was to giving me permission to try and enter, I bet it would be a really low probability of finding it, but with my luck it should be the first door I open.
I then proceeded to open the door to the forbidden library and walked in, with nobody around. So I started to peruse some of the bookshelves until I saw a black one and pulled it out. The title was "The Gospel," and I just started reading some pages. It seemed to have a catalogue on all the different books so I pocketed it after I had found some books to read.
After a few minutes I could hear the door open as I was reading "Memories of the White whale," it was interesting enough. It talked about a giant floating whale that attacked people from fog, and anyone killed was erased from existence. It even had accounts from survivors, but I would read them afterwards because Beatrice just snagged the book out of my hands.
"Hey, I was reading that!" I complained.
"How did you get in here so easily, I wonder," She interrogated me.
"I simply opened the door, it wasn't really much else to it," I retorted. "Now, could I please get back the book I was reading?" I begged politely as I held my hand outstretched to her.
"You can read whatever books you want in here, but you are not allowed to take books out of the library, I suppose," I nodded my head in response to her aggressive demands, as I gestured for getting the book back, which she eventually did. I was definitively keeping onto this catalogue book, that couldn't be much of a deal anyway, right?
"Hmm, you got in here quite quickly it seems, that is very impressive Kazuma," Puck said as he emerged from Beatrice's back.
"Bubby it would seem I can't spend more time with you today, since I have to babysit this one, I suppose," She said in an exasperated tone.
"That is fine Betty I will see you later, and be nice to him if you want him to stick around," Puck whispered the last part, before he left through the door, then it closed by itself behind him.
"You smell weird, I suppose," The girl insulted me as soon as Puck had left. So much for being nice.
"In that case I should probably go and take a bath, would you be so kind to guide me to the bathroom?" I asked politely, which made her send me an evil smile.
"It would be my pleasure, I suppose," She said, and moments later it felt as if I was sitting in a box that was being shook violently by a child, until it finally stopped spinning.
"What the fuck did you just do?" I demanded to know, now feeling sick and angry.
"I transported you to the bathroom, if you walk out, the bathroom should be straight ahead, I suppose," Beatrice answered clearly content with seeing me uncomfortable. I then rose from the pile of pillows I had been sitting in and out the door.
I came out in the hallway, and the door to the bathroom was wide open as I went inside. This bathroom focused on having a big round pool in the middle, which was in contrast with what I was used to in my mansion, since I had square pool at the inner most part of the bathroom.
Subaru's POV
"Well, let me show you around the mansion so you know how to navigate it Barusu," Ram used her new nickname for me after Rem had taken my measurements, since none of the current butler suits fit me. First we saw the VIP room, then we went to the bathroom.
"HEY! I AM BATHING HERE, GET OUT!" Kazuma yelled at us as we came in. He hurriedly covered himself with a nearby towel as he started to blush. Finally, I got back at him.
"My apologies Kazuma but Barusu here needs to be familiarized with the mansion, so you will have to tolerate it for a minute," Ram explained, but he suddenly started to smirk, his blush completely gone now.
"Barusu, she calls you Barusu, hahaha, oh my god that is hilarious, hey mister Balls, how is it to be a butler," Kazuma mocked as he started to laugh uncontrollably.
"Shut up!" I retorted at the naked boy laughing his ass off.
"Seriously though, if you don't get out I will splash you both with water," Kazuma threatened, but I couldn't understand if he was serious since he was laughing so much.
"Time to leave Barusu," Ram said as she dragged me out of the room, and then into the kitchen, then lastly to the main lavatory.
"With a mansion like this I bet the restroom is freaking huge," I commented as I opened the door to see Beatrice laying in a bed and sniffing a pillow.
"Don't worry I won't tell a soul about this, but- AHHH," I didn't get to say anything more as I was flung out of the room by an invisible force, with the door slamming shut.
"Owe, now let me finish you little-" I complained as I opened the door to reveal an average sized toilet, shocking me a little since I was prepared to give that little drill-haired loli a speaking to.
"You just witnessed miss Beatrice's door crossing," Ram coldly explained.
"Oh really, so it is a spell that can connect any door in the mansion to her own room, is that it?" I guessed expecting a yes or a no, instead…
"And once miss Beatrice has eliminated her presence, there is no way to find her without trying every door," Ram continued my theory, in other words confirming it. I looked down the hallway and my instincts kicked in as I rushed to open the door.
"She is in here!" I declared as I opened the door, shocking both Ram and Beatrice as the latter sent me an angry glare, now having thrown the pillow into a pile I hadn't notice before.
"Hey Subaru what are you up to, or should I say, Barusu, heh," Kazuma chuckled to himself as he popped up behind me, now done with his bath.
"Ram is still showing me around the mansion, why are you here?" I questioned.
"My gut told me to go down here if I wanted to get into the library and lo and behold here it is, you even opened the door for me," He teased.
"Ugh, ok how do you two keep breaking through my door crossing all the time!?" Beatrice said with both anger and curiosity present in her voice.
"Like I told you before, I am a flag crusher that makes game masters cry," I confidently stated as I heard an audible sigh, loaded with disappointment coming from Kazuma.
"I have no idea what you are talking about!" Beatrice shouted at me now clearly frustrated.
"Tell me, how do you fit in around here anyway, you Roswaal's little sister or something?" I guessed.
"I would never want to be his little sister, I suppose," She protested while pouting.
"Master Roswaal is the greatest magic user in the kingdom, he has many books that mustn't be seen by others, and miss Beatrice have been contracted to protect them from prying eyes," Ram explained as she shot Kazuma a glare, clearly implying him to be one of those with prying eyes
"See, I got a useful reward, you got to work as butler, and I think Roswaal miscalculated when he thought I wouldn't find the library, it is almost like Beatrice's wants me to find it, I bet you 1 favor that I can find the library three times in a row, what do you say Subaru, do you take the bet?" Kazuma asked with a smug tone, there is no way you can find it 3 times in a row, he has to miss at least once.
"I don't want you to find the library, it is quite the opposite in fact, I suppose," Beatrice adamantly protested.
"I will take that bet Kazuma," I said as I closed the door and re-opened it to show him that Beatrice had moved.
"Follow me," Kazuma confidently said as he lead the way, with me and Ram following behind.
"Ram, what room is in this room?" Kazuma asked as he stopped by a door.
"This is the room where we keep spare vases," Ram answered.
"No, right now it is the door to," Kazuma said as he opened the door, "The Forbidden library," Ram and Beatrice both seemed surprised.
"Now please close the door and re-open it," Kazuma said as a gust of wind slammed the door shut, I re-opened it to reveal a room with vases.
"There is still 2 more for you to manage before-" I was interrupted by Kazuma walking over to the door behind me and opening it to reveal the library, Beatrice looked rather grumpy now.
"Miss Beatrice are you purposefully doing this?" Ram interrogated as she thought over how the feat was possible, now I started to get nervous about what Kazuma would ask me to do if he managed the last door.
"I am not, he must have a dumb amount of luck, I suppose!" Beatrice defended.
"Please close the door," Kazuma requested which this time was met with an even more violent gust of wind slamming the door shut.
"I know the drill," I said as I opened the door to reveal a room filled with paintings of Roswaal in different costumes, I quickly shut the door before I saw something I couldn't forget. Ram on the other hand seemed to dislike that I closed the door.
"On we go," Kazuma said as we got to the end of a hallway with two doors across from each other.
"See, she is behind that door right now, so I will knock on it, and then she will teleport to this door, observe," Kazuma declared as he first knocked on the door closest to Ram before he jumped to the door next to me, and yes I owed him 1 favor, because there sat Beatrice with a tired expression.
"Just get in, I suppose," Beatrice muttered, her tone filled with defeat.
"Fine I get it, what do you want me do to for you?" I asked, my expression probably pretty similar to that of Beatrice.
"Get me some metal, wood and feathers, then put them out in the field next to the outdoor lounge, and get it done before you go to bed," He quickly summarized, as he went inside the library and closed the door behind him.
"With that concluded, I think the tour of the mansion is complete, so do you have any questions?" She asked cold as ever.
"I know it is no use saying this after this is over, but don't you think it would have made a lot more sense for Millie to be the one to take me around for the tour?" I asked a little disappointed that I didn't get to spend more time with the girl of my dreams.
"If you have no questions, then let us get to the ins and outs of your job, basically you will be helping with my work Barusu," Ram continued in her usual tone as she walked ahead of me.
"This must be the moment where my hidden skills as a butler finally reveal themselves!" I exclaimed excitedly, before Ram started to list off all the chores and tasks we needed to complete just today. It was a bit overwhelming to say the least.
After getting our work done, well Ram kind of just sat back and instructed me on what to do. It really ticked me off, because I cut myself on so many different things. Luckily tomorrow was cooking and I am sure I can do a good job then. I was just about to go to sleep when I heard someone knock on my door.
"This is Rem, do you have a moment Subaru?" Rem asked me through the door.
"Sure, yeah I am good, I won't do anything weird, so come on in," I quickly retorted.
"Your permission makes you sound, less credible, pardon me," Rem said as she opened the door to my room, seemingly holding a butler suit.
"You already finished the alterations?" I asked totally shocked at this girl's efficiency.
"When it is Lord Roswaal's clothing I must be careful and precise… but since this is yours," Rem informed me.
"Wait, you cut corner because it was me," I was a little insulted by her remark, but when I tried it on it fit perfectly. "I hate to admit it, but it's perfect, how do I look, good huh?" I queried excitedly.
"With this outfit, over the one you were already wearing, no one in any strange garment could challenge you," Rem said, doing quite the opposite of complimenting me.
"What about Kazuma, his outfit is weird too, right?" I inquired, hopefully I wasn't the only one looking like a fool.
"On the contrary, his outfit seems similar to something commonly worn by merchants, while you stick out like a sore thumb," Rem informed me, annoying me a little bit, since I wanted to hear some other than myself get ridiculed today.
"What should we do with those?" Rem asked, directing my attention to the butler suit pants.
"Oh, this one is easy, got a needle and thread?" I questioned, now it was my time to show some skills I actually knew my mom had taught to me.
"Yes, I brought them, would you like me to properly adjust them for you now?" Rem asked as I picked up the pants.
"Nah, that will be ok, I can do it, don't underestimate my "Sewing skills,"" I said dramatically as I threaded the thread through the needle hole, and proceeded to make the pants perfect.
"I am honestly surprised, I must give you full marks for your sewing, I'd like to add however, much like you, it doesn't appear useful whatsoever," Rem slammed her last insult in before she left after confirming that the pants did indeed fit properly.
"Ok, time for bed," I loudly told myself as I jumped onto my new bed, it was smaller than the one in the guest room, but it was still bigger than the one I had back in Japan. Sleep was just about to take me when my door was slammed open.
"YOU LAZY ASS, GET OUT OF BED!" Kazuma yelled at me angrily as he ripped me out of the cozy bed.
"What has gotten up your ass?" I asked dumbfounded by this outburst of his.
"I'll show you {Bind}," Kazuma chanted as his mithril rope bound my feet, and he started to angrily drag me down the hall, I had to lean upwards to avoid my head getting bumped into staircases. This drag ride came to a sudden stop when he had dragged me out into the yard/field and placed me next to the outdoor lounge.
"I seem to be missing something here Subaru, can you guess what that is?" Kazuma said as if he was lecturing a kid, then I remembered the bet I lost.
"Some metal, wood and feathers," I answered nervously.
"Correct, and what do I have to do to you so that it appears here, can you magically make things appear, because that would be really neat trick for you to have right now," Kazuma went on a rant as he walked around me.
"Chill dude, I will just get it tomorrow," I answered, when he suddenly smacked be in the back of my head.
"We agreed you would get it before you went to bed, so you better ask around until you find it, because guess what, I am not going to let you sleep until you do so, and trust me when I say I can be up for three days straight, but I doubt you can do that when you have to work as a butler at the same time," Kazuma threatened me.
"Wouldn't it just be easier to get it yourself then?" I asked a little miffed by his logic.
"Sure it would, but that isn't as fun as being able to torture you a little, go on loser, get me the stuff I requested, I will be checking up on this spot in 1 hour, and if it isn't here by then, well then you are going to regret it," Kazuma said with an evil grin as he removed the mithril rope from my feet.
"Ok," I answered as I ran into the mansion, I then miraculously found some logs and iron. Feathers was a more egregious task, since not only was the chicken pen far away from the mansion, but the chickens in this world attack you, if you so much as bounce into them. Imagine any Zelda game were you annoy the chicken for too long, just in an enclosed area, and 10 times as aggressive.
"Done, wood, a bag of feathers and metal, fuck the chickens ripped up my outfit, now I have to spend another 30 minutes fixing this suit," I complained loudly as Kazuma wandered over to me with a bag.
"Good job, seems you got a little torn apart by the chickens, but don't worry it is not like anyone used your camera to film it or anything, and then showed it to Felt," Kazuma said with the same evil grin, as my hand went down to my pocket and checked for my phone, it was still there. However I had to be extra sure so I went into my phone's archive and found a 5 minute long video, of me being attacked by the chickens.
"I want to punch you, but I am too tired, so see you later dickhead" I told him as I turned around, and the moment I did, he hit my head hard with his sheeted sword.
"You are dead," Kazuma declared sounding almost bored. He then retracted his sword from my now hurting head.
"Be more careful with your words, that could have gotten you killed if you said that to the wrong person, also remember to keep your own word, or else people won't trust you, and right now that is pretty much the only thing you have," Kazuma just… lectured me, could be that, or he just wanted another excuse to mess with me.
"Are you going to make arrows with that?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah, but not just arrows, I discovered something very interesting yesterday, but enough of that for now, go to bed before I make you," He shushed me away, however the moment I had gotten inside I stuck by the door to see what he was making.
"{Snipe}" Kazuma yelled, and the two seconds later a potted plant crashed into my face.
"HEY WHAT THE FUCK!" I yelled at him.
"Leave me alone, I have work to do, and I don't need you sniffing around, so beat it," He ordered me, and after some grumbling I finally relented and started to walk back to my room, and after fixing my suit and hanging it up, I finally got some sleep.
I was woken up by Rem the next morning as she guided me to the kitchen and put me to peeling the potatoes with Ram, while she handled the rest of the cooking. I felt that she undervalued me when all I got to do was peel potatoes. It was not like peeling potatoes could be especially hard.
"OUCH!" I blurted out as I cut my finger on the knife I was using to peel the potatoes.
"Hee-hee, just a fluke, I am sure I can do it, Fff," I suppressed my urge to swear as I cut myself again.
"You might get full marks for sewing, but you are still useless with a knife, Barusu," Ram said coldly as she peeled her own potato.
"You should really get that fixed before you go back to peeling the potatoes, I don't want your blood in my food," Kazuma shot in as he appeared at the door.
"What are you doing here?" Rem asked her tone void of any emotion.
"I wanted to make a snack for myself real quick, and I think some potato chips would hit the spot," Kazuma quickly retorted.
"If you want to make something outside of dinner, you must peel your own potatoes," Ram coldly informed him as she finished peeling her fifth potato.
"That is fine with me, Ram how about we have a potato peeling contest? Let us say, first to 7 flawlessly peeled potatoes, we can take your potatoes as the standard, loser has to clean up whatever mess Subaru made over there," Kazuma proposed as he went to wash his hands.
"I am fine with that, look closely Barusu, you might actually be able to learn something, you must hold the knife still, as you simply turn the potato, steamed potatoes is my best dish, if I do say so myself," Ram said triumphantly, as she held a perfectly peeled potato in her hand.
"How can you say that with such a triumphant look on your face!" I interjected, a little angry over not being able to even peel a potato.
"Ok, I am ready, are you ready Ram?" Kazuma asked as he picked up 7 potatoes, but no knife.
"Are you going to use magic to peel the potatoes?" I queried.
"Nope, I am going to use this, my newly crafted potato peeler," Kazuma declared as he revealed a potato peeler with a solid wooden handle.
"I am ready Kazuma, let me count down, 3, 2, 1, GO!" Ram said as they both quickly and efficiently peeled their potatoes. Kazuma was done peeling one when Ram was still halfway there with her first one, after about 2 minutes Kazuma had finished peeling all his potatoes, while Ram was still on her fifth.
"I win, now would you be interested in buying some of my potato peelers, since they are easier to use, more efficient and safer?" Kazuma acted as a door to door salesman, but I had to admit a potato peeler would be nice to have right about now, so that my fingers would no longer be at risk.
"A knife is still generally better since it can perform multiple tasks, while your invention only excels in peeling vegetables, which only Subaru here is useless enough to require, however, I do admit that it would make peeling vegetables a bit more efficient, which could warrant a purchase, depending on the price of course," Rem summarized, and the truth hurt.
"1 silver and it is yours," Kazuma declared, which made Ram fish out a silver coin and toss it to him as she snagged the potato peeler from his hand.
"1 silver is definitely worth this," Ram noted to herself as she peeled her potatoes even faster than before.
"Very well, another happy customer, so Subaru would you like a potato peeler?" Kazuma asked as he brought forth another potato peeler.
"But I don't have any money, what am I supposed to pay with?" I questioned.
"You work here, I am sure you can pay me back later, but since that is going to take some time I want you to promise be 2 silver coins," Kazuma happily offered as he brought the item closer to me.
"Fine, I promise to give you two silver coins when I am paid," I grumbled as he tossed the potato peeler to me, and I unfortunately caught the sharp part of it, causing my palm to bleed even more.
"Since you have to clean yourself and bandage up, I am just going to borrow your knife to cut my potatoes," Kazuma informed me with a grin as he cleaned up my bloody knife, while I cleaned myself and the bloody potato peeler.
"Are you even any good at cooking?" I questioned Kazuma as he rolled up his sleeves and looked at me with a smug smile.
"Just watch," He said as looked at me, while he cut up all the potatoes he had peeled into perfectly thin slices, and put them into a pot of boiling oil I hadn't even noticed, and after some time he fished out all the now newly fried potato chips as he salted them and put them in a big bowl. He then threw me a piece. And I hate to admit this, but it was the best potato chip I have ever eaten.
"Ok, it is fine, I guess," I said coldly as I fought the urge to ask for another one, but my facial expression probably gave away that I liked it.
Ram snagged a chip and ate it, her expression remaining cold as she took another one, and then another, and then Kazuma pushed her hand away as he put his body between Ram and the bowl of chips. She didn't seem like she wanted to fight him for it so she silently backed away. Then Rem snagged a chip and ate it, but she stopped at one chip and went back to her cooking.
"Hmm, it is good, but I fail to see how this is enough to qualify you as a chef, this is but a simple snack," Rem said as she went back to her own pot.
"OH, is that a challenge, I can see that you are making some good stew, so how about this, if I can make a soup that is better than yours, you will have to make food for me whenever I want," Kazuma proposed as he sat down the bowl of chips.
"And if I win, what do I get for that then?" Rem queried.
"I will give you the patent on my potato peeler," He offered.
"I find that acceptable, but who is going to be the judge of our stews, I believe you would be biased," Rem said.
"I was going to propose a blind taste test by the other people in the mansion, and they have to say which stew they prefer, does that sound fair to you?" Kazuma suggested, making Rem silently nod in agreement. What happened next was too much cooking for my brain to keep up with, and before I had even peeled one good batch of potatoes they were both done with their own respective stew.
Annoyingly enough Kazuma won the contest with only Roswaal preferring Rem's stew over his. I wanted to get back at him so I took Kazuma's katana and hid it in a vase while Felt was fighting with him over the potato chips. I hoped to stress him out a bit as he looked for his Katana, but he didn't even seem to notice it was gone.
Kazuma's POV
I seem to have misplaced my katana somewhere, but I just can't just seem to find it, but it is not like I care that much about it. The only redeeming factor about it, is that it's made of mithril, which has a hard time breaking. I didn't even get to name it myself, just Megumin dropping a weird name on it without my consent.
"Stupid Megumin," I muttered to myself as I sat on my bed.
"Who is Megumin?" Felt suddenly asked as she popped her head into my room, I should really close my room door.
"Well… she is a friend of mine," I answered, we never made clear what kind of relationship we wanted, she just confessed to me after all.
"What kind of friend?" She questioned, clearly curious.
"We were adventurers together, usually we would defeat monsters alongside two other friends of ours, Aqua and Darkness, Aqua is always an idiot when it comes to using her powers effectively, wastes all her time on party tricks instead of something useful, and on top of that she always gets us into deep debt,"
"Darkness is a big masochist that might look self-sacrificing at first, but getting the shit beaten out of her, is actually just perverted way for her to get off, and Megumin,"
"She will always cast her super destructive explosion spell at the first thing she sees if I don't stop her, did I mention she can only use it once per day, " I went on a rant, and I don't know why but it felt really good to just let it all out.
"You must be really close with them, since you know all their flaws," Felt said as she sat down on my bed with her legs crossed.
"Yeah, we live together in the same mansion after all, heh… they are probably somewhere talking smack about me right now so I have to do the same about them," I chuckled to myself as stared at my hip where Chunchunmaru was supposed to be strapped.
"Missing something?" Felt asked teasingly.
"I seem to have misplaced my sword somewhere, I am sure to find it eventually though," I said with a fake smile, trying to reassure her everything was fine, with my overly carefree tone.
"Would you give me any reward if I were to find it for you?" She probed for an answer as she scooted closer.
"Depends on if you were the one to take it in the first place or not, because I don't like paying for stuff I already own, otherwise I guess I would owe that person a favor," I answered while shooting her a judging glare.
"In that case, you owe me another favor," Felt confidently declared as she fished out my katana from behind her back.
"First, tell me where you found it, and don't lie to me," I asked unusually cold and serious, so much so that I even shocked myself.
"I saw someone put it into a vase, but I am not telling you who, because I am not a snitch," Felt quickly answered, I couldn't sense any lies from her, and she also didn't seem to mind my momentary cold attitude.
"So what you are telling me is, THE BUTLER DID IT!" I announced, maybe with more flair than necessary. The only thing that gave away that I was right on her face was a quick twitch on her current smile.
"How do you feel about playing a prank on Subaru?" She asked with a sly smile.
"Do you have anything in mind?"
"Plenty,"
Over the next few days Subaru would to name a few, find one pant leg sown shut, get tricked into holding a water bucket up to a roof with a broom handle, before he eventually let it all spill over him, be shot with spitballs before the culprits escaped back into the library, only being able to follow them most of the time, and worst of all get tricked to go on a fake date with Emilia, twice.
Third POV, in Roswaal's study
"How has Subaru been since he started working, five days have passed since his arrival, shouldn't we be seeing something by now," Roswaal asked in a quite serious tone as Ram sat on his lap.
"Cooking, laundry, cleaning, he is useless at all of them," Ram quickly answered
"How very haaarsh of you, and what are the chances he is a spy?" Roswaal's eyes tightened as his tone got serious.
"I can't deny that such potential exist, but I think the possibility is slim at best, cause for better or for worse, for worse in this case, he is too conspicuous," Ram summarized.
"And if he is too conspicuous then, well despite the odds of that posibility he certainly is carefree isn't he, personally as I see it, it would be wise to interfere with things," Roswaal said.
"They are both only children, even if we let them be nothing will happen, what we really should be talking about is what to do with Kazuma," Ram countered.
"Ah yes, the boy who keeps getting cloooser to Felt, uses my library like it is his own little playground, and if he isn't taken care of soon I can foresee him giving a radical aaadvantage to her camp when it is finally established, something we can't let happeeen," Roswaal said in a sinister tone as he petted Ram on the head.
"So how should I kill him?" Ram asked coldly.
"Keep the mess in his room, and don't make any sound, we will transport miss Felt and her grandfather to the capital, first thing in the morning and if she sees him murdered she will become a fierce enemy instead of a useful ally," Roswaal summarized as he brushed away her pink hair to reveal a broken Oni horn, which he promptly transferred his mana into.
"I will be on my way then master Roswaal," Ram said in a bow as she calmly walked out the door and towards Kazuma's room.
Kazuma's POV
I was currently tinkering with making myself a kotatsu table, the problem now was that I needed a heat source. Felt had already gone to bed, so I was stuck with figuring this one out on my own. Maybe another prank on Subaru would make my gears turn, nah he got bitten by a dog today, might as well just leave him alone until tomorrow.
Two quick knocks came from the door caught my attention, "Who is it?" I questioned.
"It is Ram, I have brought you some tea, could I come in?" She asked in her usually cold and uncaring tone.
"Sure, I am just working on something," I allowed her as I came up from under my unfinished kotatsu table.
"Why are you making a table with a carpet around it?" Ram asked, I could sense both curiosity and spite in her tone.
"Not done with it yet, it is supposed to have a heating element under the table so people can warm themselves on cold days," I explained, as I looked at my prototype.
"Hmm, I see, would you please sit down while I prepare the tea," Ram said, but that was when I noticed she didn't have any tea with her, and my {Enemy detection} pinged off, but it was too late, as my vision rolled around until it went completely black
(Hey M-Megumin, the maid did it, hah, hah) I made a dumb joke, because fuck it, I was dying anyways.
Felt's POV
I was on my way to Kazuma's room, to just ask if he could make something for me, when I heard some ruckus coming from his room, my gut feeling told me something was off, so I got their as quickly as I possibly could. When I came into the room through the door, the first thing that caught my eyes was Kazuma's head rolling towards me. I grabbed his face in disbelief.
"Why? WHY!?" I screamed, as I dropped his head, quickly scanning the room, and I was met by two cold red eyes.
"Unfortunate that you had to see that," She said, and I instantly bolted, and opened a door, begging that it was the library, and for once in my life it actually was.
"What do you want, I-" Beatrice stopped as she met my gaze, and then saw Kazuma's head under my arm.
Subaru's POV
After making the promise with Emilia I went to Beatrice to say goodnight. So I opened the correct door as I wandered in, feeling like I was on top of the world.
"Hey, loli-girl! So you're still awake?" I said in a cheerful tone.
"OUT!" She yelled at me as soon as I finished my sentence, before I felt a force push me out of the library, making me crash hard into the corridor wall behind me.
I guess someone isn't in as good of a mood as I am, better just go to bed before I get slammed into more walls. Should I say goodnight to Felt and Kazuma? Nah, I don't want them to be able to hear about my date with Emilia and mess it up.
When I finally got to my bed my thoughts were flying everywhere about what to do with Emilia the next morning that I couldn't calm down. That was when I got the ingenious idea of counting Pucks, instead of sheep, since his fur is much more comfortable to think of when you are supposed to sleep. I think my lights went out at 100 something.
Eris' POV
"Eris!" The damn soul piece repeated for the millionth time, this might sound mean, but I kind of want Kazuma to die so I can hear something else.
"Eris!" It repeated, but I knew if I didn't respond I could avoid that tiresome message.
"Eris at the very least look at me, I just died after all," Kazuma said, clearly offended, WAIT!
"KAZUMA YOU ARE DEAD!" I yelled, unable to hold back my excitement, I could almost not believe my own eyes as I flashed over to him and inspected him.
"Try not to be too excited," He responded coldly.
"Sorry, it is just that I have been stuck with your soul piece, that kept repeating how you died, over, and over, and-"
"Eris, I died by getting my head chopped off," Kazuma interrupted, as I was unable to hold back an involuntary scowl.
"I am sorry, I guess it wasn't original enough for you, I'll try to die in a way that-"
"No, please excuse me, I have had to deal with him for longer than I can keep track of," I said as I pointed to a younger looking Kazuma.
"He seems silent enough," Kazuma retorted with an uncaring tone, now I finally got a good look at his face, and it was distressing.
"Kazuma-"
Suddenly 400 dark-purple hands emerged from the damaged heaven barrier, and I knew it was 400, because I counted. I thought I was prepared, I had another blade prepared, but it wasn't enough. When I had cut down the 400th hand I stared at an empty chair, yet again.
(Really, I failed again, how useless can I be) I angrily thought to myself, before I kicked the chair Kazuma was just sitting in, only to reveal another soul piece under it.
"Eris!" the first one said
"Yes, what is it?" I answered tiredly.
"I got my head chopped off!" he predictably answered.
"No way, ME TOO!" the new one cheered, doing his best to be louder than his twin.
They then went on an endless loop of telling each other how they died.
Fuck this, I am calling in angel care, while I go visit this shop Kazuma was talking about, maybe I can find a way to get him back to the others. I know his soul can't keep splitting like this, but I am not babysitting them for another second. Those damned hands, if I see them again I will eliminate all of them.
Third person POV
Again Kazuma was being dragged through a familiar corridor of pictures, before a voice rang out.
ONLY MY CHOSEN ONE SHALL REMEMBER ANYTHING, SO FORGET!
"Sure, go ahead," Kazuma retorted.
FOOL!
Subaru's POV
"A new dawn has come! A dawn of hope! Subaru Natsuki will make giant strides today…" I declared before I suddenly realized that Rem and Ram was in the room.
"What are you two doing in here? You just made this super embarrassing, at least you should have said something," I complained with my face probably looking redder than a tomato right about now.
"Sister, sister… Our guest appears to be a bit confused," Rem said.
"Rem, Rem… it looks as though our guest has gone crazy," Ram said, in her cold and usual way.
"Why are you two calling me a guest? You two and your jokes…" I nervously laughed as I looked down on my now completely unhurt hands, not a single scratch on even one finger.
Without thinking much about things I rose from my bed, completely ignoring the maids as I ran out of the room to avoid anyone seeing me cry. Because if everything just reset, it would mean my wonderful promise with Emilia also reset, which just brought me to tears when I thought about all my hard work being wasted. The Maids were on my tail so I slipped into a door which proved itself to be the library, as I just sunk down to the floor while leaning onto the door.
"You come in here without even knocking, what an extremely rude one you are," Beatrice started to berate me.
"Sorry, just let me stay here for a bit, please," I pleaded with my head firmly planted into my lap as I put my hands together in a begging manner.
"This makes the second time you have walked in and found me like this, so how are you breaking through my door crossing?" Beatrice asked, giving me a sudden realization.
"Beatrice!" was the last thing I managed to utter before someone slammed the door open, promptly knocking me out.
Kazuma's POV 5min earlier
Did I drink last night, because I am feeling really hungover just about now.
"Ah, my fucking head, I am not drinking again," I declared.
"Are you ok?" a familiar voice rang out with concern.
"Yeah Megumin, I am fine, I just had too much to drink last night is all," I quickly explained as I slowly got out of bed.
"Megumin? Who is Megumin?" She asked clearly perplexed by my words.
"I see, you have come up with a new over-zealous title for yourself…" I chuckled to myself before I looked over and looked at someone, that indeed wasn't Megumin. Then I remembered. For some ungodly reason, I have been transferred to another fantasy world, only this time I am stuck with a useless piece of shit.
I looked around the room, I was definitively in a mansion, but not my mansion. Ok then, it wasn't all just a bad nightmare, it was reality.
"I have a question, would you care to answer it for me?" I asked as politely as I could muster, even with a horrible headache and all.
"Sure, ask me anything," She said with a gentle, yet concerned smile.
"Do you have something for healing my headache?" I questioned.
"I can try," Emilia answered, as she put her hands to my aching forehead. The moment her hands started to glow my headache increased tenfold, it went from an uncomfortable pressure to feeling like someone was banging a drum in my head. I wanted to tell her to stop but I couldn't form any words. I thought this pain would never stop, however to my great relief she stopped.
"I am sorry, I hurt you, I-" Her tone was filled with regret, and it sounded like she was about to cry, it reminded me of Megumin, so I just hugged her and patted her back awkwardly.
"It's ok, you did your best," I retorted as she carefully placed her hands on my back, treating me like I could fall apart at any second.
It was all good until I was met with cold red eyes staring daggers at me, my body was rushed with fear as I flinched away from the hug with Emilia.
"Miss Emilia, your other male guest ran screaming out of his room after me and Rem woke him up, it was rather alarming, we are looking for him now, but we can't find him anywhere," She quickly relayed, her cold red eyes never leaving me.
I quickly got up and left the room, I didn't feel safe around this maid girl, my {Enemy detection} wasn't going off, but something in me forced me to get as far away from her as possible.
I turned around a corner and kicked open the first I door found, just to have Subaru flop onto the checkerboard floor. I then walked into the room and slammed the door behind me.
"Oh, hey Beatrice," I shot in before I started to look for a book on how I could treat my headache.
"How do you know my name, I don't remember telling you, I suppose," She said as she stepped off her chair and walked over to the now passed out Subaru.
"Wait, you didn't, guess I am just that lucky," I retorted as I continued perusing the bookshelves, I don't know why, but many of the titles felt weirdly familiar to me. Like I had read them before, so I didn't really want to read them.
"What are you looking for, I wonder?" Beatrice questioned as I drew a brown book from the shelf.
I randomly opened a page.
Chocolate Caramels
Mix:
5dl sugar
3TableS Cocoa
3TableS of light syrup
5dl Whole milk
Let it boil for 20min, while continuously drawing an 8 shape in the mixture.
Afterwards add:
125G Butter
3 teaspoons of vanilla sugar
Let the butter melt completely down, and then water test the mixture every 5th minute.
Water test is performed by taking a teaspoon in the caramel mixture and then dipping it in a glass of cold water. If you can then roll this cooled caramel into a ball, the caramel is done.
Spread the caramel mixture out on a prepared baking paper.
Let it cool down a little, and then use a knife to cut the caramel into 1x1 cm squares.
"I want to try this one," I noted to myself as I went further down the shelf, with the book under my arm. Then the book got pulled away from me and flew into Beatrice's open hand, she quickly flipped through the pages.
"Hmm, you can borrow it, but I will have to oversee you, I suppose," She said after flipping through some pages.
"Cool with me, if you help me find the ingredients, you can even get to taste test some of the dishes," I offered.
"Your friend is pretty weak, compared to you, I suppose," She noted while taking a look over Subaru.
"Eh, he is stronger than me physically, so what does that make me?" I questioned, remembering back to Subaru wielding a pretty big club with ease while in the loot house.
"I wasn't talking about physical strength, but he isn't particularly strong in that area either, I suppose," Beatrice said as she looked away from me.
"Then what type of strength were you talking about?" I inquired.
"You possess the important strength of adaptation, I suppose," She answered as she walked away from me and the passed out Subaru.
"How would you know that? We have barely met, or did you drain more than just my mana in our little drain duel?!" The question made her freeze up, for a millisecond, but she froze nonetheless, before she continued to walk away.
"So you did, based on that I would say you probably got to see some of my memories," I guessed, causing her to twitch.
"What did you see?" I asked, I should really have been angrier over the fact that she had read my mind, but Vanir tended to read it, so it wasn't anything new to me. The very least she hadn't mocked me over it.
Beatrice stopped walking away from me, but she didn't turn around. She just stood there like a tiny statue with her back turned to me, before she finally spoke. "I saw a girl with crimson red eyes… talking about all traits that you possess and how she… l-lo-loves you," Her voice was shaky as she said the last words, but that was about everything I managed to process before my legs gave out, and everything went black.
Meanwhile with Megumin
"I got to find Kazuma, he has been gone for a week, but the others still don't want to take it seriously," I angrily muttered as I walked back to the mansion.
"Hey MEGUMIN!" Someone suddenly yelled out of nowhere, I turned around to see Chris.
"Hey Chris, have you seen Kazuma?" I instantly asked, it had turned into my usual greeting at this point.
"Eh, what, no, why do you ask?" She nervously sputtered out, something told me she had definitively seen him.
"You are a bad liar, so where did you see him, he has been gone for an entire week so you better tell me something, or else you will regret it," Chris took a nervous step backwards at my threat.
"I don't know where he is, I only talked to him briefly a while back," She said, and it didn't seem like she was lying, but I still pressed on.
"Be more specific, how many days ago did you see him, how was he, and where were you when you were talking to him?"
"Ehm, I talked to him like yesterday, he is alive don't worry, and we were in…," She stopped midway.
"Yeah, tell me, come on you have to tell me, TELL ME WHERE HE WAS YESTERDAY!?" I yelled at her while grabbing a hold of her shoulders.
"That h-hurts," Chris whimpered as I tightened my grip on her.
"Tell me where you talked with him and I'll let you go," I demanded
"I DON'T KNOW!" She yelled as she sent nervous kicks to my stomach, making the 1millon-sided dice fall out of my pocket but it didn't land before Chris kicked it away, and the next second she was gone. I turned around the see the dice's red dot shine, before it dimmed away again.
I carefully picked up the dice and stared at it with more malice than I thought I could ever feel. "SO YOU'RE AT FAULT!"
Eris/Chris' POV
I was all of the sudden in the middle of a busy street, and I instinctively knew I wasn't in Belzberg anymore. I quickly climbed onto the top of a house and disconnected from my avatar. Since I had thought that I could see where my avatar was, or in what world it was, however to my surprise when I looked from heaven I still couldn't see where my avatar was, like it had stopped existing completely.
Luckily I could still connect back to my avatar, but it felt like whatever world I was in was completely abandoned by the gods. It felt as if the very existence of this world had been completely hidden away. With that confirmed I knew that I had been transported to the same world that Kazuma was currently in.
"Ugh, where am I even going to begin to look for him?" I stunned to myself, my shoulders still felt tender from Megumin's grip. I then spotted a woman reminding me of Darkness, because of their similar "size," only that this one had orange hair and blood-red eyes. Hopefully she would be able to help me find Kazuma.
Merry Christmas, here you go this is what I have for you. I hope all my readers are healthy and alive. I mean it has been almost half-a-year after all. It has taken a lot of time for me to get this done, but I hope you enjoyed it. Also, yes Subaru didn't notice something was off, since he was way too happy about his date with Emilia.