A/N: This is reallllly long. Sorry, I couldn't find a place to split it at. But from here on out it is going to be one state per a chapter. Most likely the 13 colonies will be first. I hope you guys are okay with this chapter (it was difficult for me) and sorry about any grammatical errors. It's not my strong point :/
Also, thank you so much for the reviews! I'm glad that this has some emotional factors to it. Thank you again, they really do help!
"Alfred get in th-" "Al?" Arthur's voice was cut off by Virginia's slight drawl. Never in my life had I felt as many emotions as I did at that very moment, I think I felt every single one known to man. I took one look at Virginia's pleading eyes and England's stalwart expression and opened the rear passenger door cramming my tall frame into the small vehicle.
"Helen…" my voice trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Something told me now was not the time to talk to the girl; that would come later. "I'm sorry." I said as a crappy excuse for an apology and left it at that, leaving Arthur to fill in the void that speech left empty. "Alfred, we were on our way to your house…I take it that is where you intended to go?"
I frowned a bit at the tone England's voice held, it was distant and reserved. I knew it was all just a front put up so Helen wouldn't see that her 'new daddy' had a weak spot. "Yeah." My voice cracked, I hadn't drank anything for days nor had I spoke. The two in the front flinched at the sound. Not that I blame them, the way I used to talk was loud and boisterous, I was always excited about something and now here I am with my words that sound like nails on a chalk board.
I watched Virginia in the rearview mirror her brown curls framing her face, every few seconds she would subconsciously reach up to wipe away the tears from her blotchy cheeks. Even in the dark it was easy to see she had been crying. It was easy to see Arthur was restless. His eyes were bloodshot and he couldn't stop fidgeting.
I remember when I first found Virginia. It was almost a year after England's settlers had survived their first winter, or as I like to call it The Starving Time. I was out and about with Arthur in the small city that had come forth. He had given me a few small coins and told me to go and purchase some parchment and two new quills so I could learn to write. I was rounding a corner, not paying much attention to anything around me just absorbing all the sights and sounds, when I bumped into her. She was smaller than me and had tight brown curls that hung about her face down to her shoulders. Her blue-green eyes stared up at me from the spot she had landed, her bread basket laid abandoned off to the side.
I watched her for a moment, head cocked and pondering the strange feelings that overcame me; before coming back to my senses and rushing to help her up. "I'm sorry miss! Here let me help you with that." Together we returned her baked goods to her basket and stood there awkwardly waiting for the other to say something, she frowned a little at my incapability to say something and began to walk away. "My name is Alfred, Alfred F. Jones. Who're you?"
The little girl stopped walking and faced me, "I'm Helen, no last name."
"Well that's weird." I grimaced. "Where's your momma?" I asked because surely she had to have a momma. All little kids did, I'm a country according to Iggy but I still have a momma, I just never see her anymore."No, I don't have a momma. Good day Alfred." And with that she marched straight into the forest, not to be seen again until much later, when the others showed up.
"Alfred, we're here." I had to force myself out my memories. Virginia was the first out of the car leaving Arthur and I in an uncomfortable silence. "Why are you still here?" I had to ask. The question had been gnawing at my insides since I saw the car on the highway. England looked a little embarrassed as he answered. "Virginia and a few of the others… they needed to collect their things so we decided we would meet back here. You didn't talk to them did you?"
I felt my heart shatter. I had hoped to avoid that topic, yet here Arthur out of all people, was confronting me about it. "I talked to Delaware. I thought that maybe…maybe it would be easier." Coward. The word kept repeating itself in my brain. I knew where England was headed with this and I really didn't want to go there. I knew I had to talk to Virginia now but the others? It wouldn't be necessary.
"Alfred you dolt! You're being selfish. They're your children! Your states…there is a story behind each of how you got them. From a-" England paused and took a breath before continuing, "-Revolutionary War to Manifest Destiny to Imperialism, and here you are denying it like it will fix it, letting it all go like it doesn't even-" I couldn't take it anymore. If Arthur was trying to make me feel like common pond scum then he was quite successful.
"Shut up! I don't want to hear it! I'm not denying it, and I don't think you have a right to lecture me on parenting! All you know is how to tax people, force them to take care of what isn't theirs until they hate and then throw a fit because they're sick of you being an ass!" I don't think I had ever yelled at anyone (besides Ivan) like I just did. I know what I said was a little harsh but I was hurting. It doesn't give me a right to yell like I just did but Arthur was only causing reality to hurt more, I didn't need him out of all people, telling me what to do like a father would scold a child.
The look of shock on Arthur's face only served to heighten my guilt. The way his brow was furrowed and how his eyes were set wide proved to me that I really was the dirt bag he was making me out to be. I swung open the car door and bolted to the house. Taking an immediate left and running up a flight of stairs to Virginia's room. The door was almost knocked off its hinges in my hurry. Her yellow and white walls brought about a sense of irony when compared to the bleak outlook that loomed and the dark night that enveloped us all.
I quickly scanned her room and noted her absence but an ancient mirror caught my attention. The man standing there could not be me, slight stubble protruded from his chin from a lack of shaving and his blue eyes were bloodshot. The tears that seemed to have a continuous flow left trails through the dirt that was clinging to his face, his hair was greasy and hung in his eyes. Glasses sat askew on his nose and his dress clothes were disheveled, deeply creased and stained in some places.
I shifted slightly and reached out to brush my hair back out of my eyes and the man in the mirror did the same. A mutilated cry escaped my throat as I sunk to the floor, eyes wide and staring deeply at my reflection. That's it, I am done with this. I shakily found my feet and went to the bathroom next to Virginia's room. I could hear the shower turn off so I returned to her room to wait for her. I smoothed out the blue and white floral bedspread that was draped across the bed unceremoniously and sat down drowning in my surroundings and the memories they triggered.
A tall armoire stood in one corner, its ornate hand carved designs still standing out amongst the numerous nicks and scratches it had gathered since it had first been made back in the 1700's. That had been one of the first pieces of furniture Virginia and I had bought after I declared independence. She had adored the intricate scenes carved and painted upon it so much that when we moved to the big house I let her have it for her room.
"Alfred? You're sure you don't mind me having this?" she had asked with weariness. "Of course not, I can just get a new one if it's even needed." I replied in all seriousness. Her arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace and I kissed her forehead. With a hint of laughter I said "You're welcome."
On the other side of the room sat a tea tray with a small white porcelain tea set on a dressing table. It used to belong to Arthur but I had stole it from him and sought out Helen so I could give it to her shortly after our first meeting. One of the tea cups had a large chip in it from when we had a tea party with Delaware and Massachusetts. Henry had been a little clumsy as a child and had a foul temper.
He thought that Mason had mentioned something about his only friend being a Cod fish because he was ignorant. Although it was more like "you only talk to your Cod fish. Stop ignoring me." Then Massachusetts lunged at Mason throwing a few punches and in the process knocked a cup of our makeshift table causing Helen to cry when she saw it was broke and because of the violent display in front of her. So me, being the eldest one there, I grabbed the two by their collars and made them apologize to Virginia. Things ran pretty smooth after that.
There was a framed portrait hung on the wall next to a large window. In it 16 faces smiled back at me each one dressed meticulously. The piece was of the first thirteen, Francis, Gilbert and I after the war was over. We had a huge party that night to thank the two Europeans for their assistance. We would not have won without it.
The day this had been painted was particularly long with France making sure everyone looked fantastique et parfait in their best clothes that were "inspired by designs from the country of l'amour", and Prussia trying to put the moves on everyone. I realized that Hungary didn't carry that pan to make eggs whenever she wanted after that. Once everyone was dressed to the tee in very uncomfortable clothes it took another hour for the painter to position us.
"Alfred?" my thoughts were interrupted by Virginia's quiet voice projecting from the doorway. I stood quickly to see her standing there in a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt with a towel wrapped around her head absorbing the water from her hair. "Well, we obviously need to talk, huh?" I had so many things to say yet no starting point would come to mind so I was left to improvise.
Helen just nodded her head and shuffled over to the bed and gently sat down leaving a good foot and a half between us. I gave myself a moment to consider my words before speaking. "Virginia, I have always considered you as an equal, you and the rest of the thirteen." She just nodded, so far so good.
"We were only three years apart when we first met so obviously I would never be a father figure to you, more of a friend or brother. I never thought in all of our years would we experience this type of situation. We came close when Allison started up the confederacy but we still were together in a sense." I took a breath unsure of what to say for a moment.
"The past few weeks have been really difficult and I know that I'm an… idiot for not explaining everything to you guys before but I didn't know how. For almost my entire life I have had you by my side, hell, you hold half my heart, literally! And I think that my unwillingness to accept what was happening created the thought that if I didn't talk about it, it would disappear. Of course I'm wrong but I didn't want you to see me as a failure." A deep sigh erupted from the base of my chest.
Virginia blew out the breath that she apparently had withheld and scooted a little closer to me pain evident in her hazy eyes. "Alfred, dad; you're not a failure. None of the states will see you as one either. We've been together for a long, very long, time, you, me, the states; and not once have we ever lost faith in you. We always knew whatever came our way you'd protect us from. But everyone reaches their limit, no? Just look at Ally! She got mad at you because you were being overprotective so she ran off and dun took the rest of us with her. But the catch is we all came back! There's a chance we could fix ourselves and get back again." Virginia's voice had reached a pleading tone; she was not only trying to sell her argument to me but to herself.
"Do you remember that gosling Cole had found a few years ago?" Her eyes were begging me to stay on topic for both our sakes. "Yeah, the little Cana-whatever goose baby. Right?" A few springs ago Minnesota was visiting and he had found this baby goose that was all alone. It was still fairly cold outside so he brought it to our house because he didn't know what to do. So we (meaning all fifty states and I) went out and bought it a little cage with a solid floor, some soft bedding , a heat lamp, a water bowl and some meal worms and seeds.
Minnesota had never owned a pet before but always loved nature so he was overjoyed at the chance to have a pet. He raised the little goose until it was old enough to return to the wild. He had taught it to swim and fly to the best of his abilities, then reintroduced it to its flock. Every year that goose; Herb (he named it after the 1980's Olympic hockey coach who beat the Soviets) returned. Every single year that goose returned to Cole's doorstep.
Virginia nodded her head, "That bird comes back every year. He doesn't let anything prevent him from coming home either. Just like how we won't let anything tear us apart for good. We can bounce back again just like we always do." I felt the traitorous tears commence their journey at the memories Helen's words brought back and her words tugged at my heart strings.
"That would be nice. I promise you though, that I will not forget you, nor will this be last you see of me. Iggy told me that I-I could come see you all whenever… He'll take good care of you this time, I just know it. Virginia, Helen; I want you to do me a favor though and take care of the others and try to keep them out of trouble as much as you can." I didn't want to bring about false hope for myself or her but I didn't want to crush all of it because sometimes it's the only thing you have to keep you alive.
It was highly impossible that we would ever become a country again, but just because they would have different caretakers now didn't mean that they would have to remain isolated from each other. The only ones that I truly feared for were those taken by Russia. Unfortunately those were the states Helen would be unable to keep an eye on.
Virginia's eyes met mine and were steeled with resolve "I promise that I'll try my best." I wrapped my arms around her and placed my face atop her head breathing in her scent. We sat there quietly until she spoke up, "You smell. Please go take a shower." I was a little confused for moment after being taken out of my thoughts by such a random statement.
"Way to ruin the moment Helen!" I replied with a quip. She stuck out her tongue in response before standing and stretching, "Goodnight…America" Her short pause while debating what to call me did not go unnoticed but I figured she was trying to make a façade of normalcy. "Goodnight Virginia. I love you and make sure you behave for Artie." She didn't need me to tell her but I felt obligated and I preferred to think of this as the states having an extended sleepover more so than my dissolution.
I stood and walked towards the door while Virginia crawled under comforter and buried her face in her pillow. I was about to ask her how much longer she would be staying but I didn't want to disturb anyone because if she and England were here the others must be as well. Besides, I could always ask Arthur later. A door opened down the hall and Massachusetts stepped out. A part of me wanted to duck into the bathroom across the hall but the hurriedness Henry seemed to be in proved that was exactly where he was headed. Apparently, a shower and a descent night's sleep was not what fate had in store for me.