I didn't know what was going on. I had just left the dinner at Lil's house and I left, and I was sitting in my parent's house. Literally had no clue what the situation was, but it was a big one.

I was just laying in my old bedroom, crying. Lil, one of my best friends ever, was never going to forgive me. I didn't know what I was going to do. Chuckie hated me, anything to do with him was out of the question. Damn, that hurt. I loved Chuckie so much, it was hard to get my mind off of him. He's just so amazing: he's nice, considering, generous, handsome, and he's just a nice guy. He had grown out of his acne and his glasses, instead of in Jr. High, made him look sophisticated and like a gentleman.

But, I couldn't stop thinking about what I have done. I had lost a friend, and my chance with the one I love. The pain I was feeling at the moment was too much to bare. But, I kept thinking to myself, I had a child on the way. In 9 months, I was going to have someone to take care of, someone to love. I was going to have a beautiful baby, who would keep my heart and I would love it forever.

I heard a knock on my door about 30 minutes after I left the party. It was Kimi and Tommy.

"Did you hear? Well, I guess there's no way you could have..." Tommy said when he sat down in the living room.

"Hear what...?" I said to him.

Kimi stepped in. "Ok, look. I don't know if anyone else knows, but I KNOW what you have a thing for Chuckie. Whether it just be a cute little crush or love, it's a thing. You're going to hear this one way or another..." I became confused. What was she going to say? Although the anticipation was a mere few seconds, to my heart it seemed like hours.

"...Lil is pregnant. With my brother's child." I was shocked at dismayed. "The night Lil tried to kill herself, Tommy and I walked in on Chuckie, naked, right after they had just got through having sex. Chuckie had NO idea she was heavily overdosed at the time, no surprise with his dumb ass... And Lil, being high, made a mistake. So, there you have it."

Thoughts started flying through my head. I immediately started putting together pros and cons. Well, there went my chance with Chuckie. He had shown physical love to her. His heart was locked with her, nothing was going to change it. But, maybe Lil would be a little more understanding, seeing as she did nearly the EXACT same thing I did...

"We're sorry, Angelica. But...it's true." Tommy said. I started to cry a little bit.

"Well, that's ok. Although, I have really LOVED Chuckie since high school...it's definitely not just a 'cute little crush', Kimi. It's the real deal. But, I guess now, there's no point in trying. My chance with him is gone. But...maybe I can at least revive my friendship with Lil."

Tommy started to explain something. "Lil's pretty emotional right now, Angelica. I wouldn't try to get into anything deep with her. I mean, her only damn brother is dead. There relationship as siblings was...really, one of the strongest I had ever seen. And, just like that, the bond was broken by the horrible toning bell of death."

"I know... but, now's as good as a time as any. I need to do it now so I can get it off of my chest. Really... I need to go. Where is she?" I asked.

"On our way over here, we saw her pulling into her parent's house." Tommy said. I gave them both a hug, grabbed my keys, and headed for my car. When I got in the car, I made my way for the Deville's.

I pulled into the Deville's about 5 minutes later. All I saw was Lil's car. I don't know where Lil's parents were, probably out with Tommy's parents or something. I walked in and saw Lil by herself on the couch.

"Lil! You can't be alone! What are you doing?!" I said as I walked in. "I can take care of myself, thank you. I an adult, not a teenager. I'll be ok, I'm not gonna try to do it again. What do you want, Angelica?"

"Well, I heard...um...I heard that..."

She cut me off. "That I'm pregnant? Yeah, sorry I did that. I know you love Chuckie, but I can't shake him off me right now. I have to think a lot of things through before I decide how I'm going to handle the situation."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I was just hoping that maybe, we could let bygones be bygones. Let's forget everything that has happened and just put it all in the past...please?" I asked. She looked at me with a confused look.

"What do you mean, 'put it all in the past'? Why in the hell are you over here looking for forgiveness? Didn't I say don't come talk to me until you have a legit excuse for what you did?" Now I was confused.

"But, Lil...I...I...you...made the same mistake I did..." I was also getting a tad bit angry.

"Yeah, guess what? My mistake didn't kill someone's only brother."

She kept saying that like I intended on Phil's death. I made a mistake while on alcohol, she made a mistake on drugs. Why wasn't she seeing through? My anger and frustration was beginning to build up.

"Lil, I did not WANT Phil to die. Granted, I should have been more careful with what I was doing and what was going on around me... As should have you when you were TRYING to kill someone- you- and then getting yourself pregnant." I said that last little rant with a bit of anger in my voice.

"It seems like someone is getting a little angry. You should calm yourself down. Go get pregnant with someone else's near-death, drunken brother. That's one of your hobbies, isn't it?" Now, she really had me pissed. I walked out of her house, slammed the door, and ran to my car. I started to cry.

Now, these tears I was crying was a manifestation of more than one emotion. Have you ever been so angry and frustrated, that the only wasy your body can get rid of it is in some sort of liquid rage? It was that, mixed with a little sadness. I went over to Lil's with hopes of restoring our friendship... and she gets stubborn and basically tell me to piss off. It made me very frustrated.

As I was walking to my car, I saw Chuckie pulling up. "What the hell are you doing here?" I ignored him. "I left Tommy's house and came back, and Lil was gone. Where is she?" Before I answered him, he noticed her car. "Why are you near her? You already killed her brother, you trying to kill her too? I would be ashamed of my damn self. But, you have no shame, do you?" I started crying even harder and and harder. The tears were the same emotion as before, just with a little more sadness. I got in my car, and drove back to my house.

Tommy and Kimi were still there, I went in and started to cry on Kimi's shoulder. She held me as I did. I explained everything that happened.

"Woah...that doesn't sound like Lil at all. Lil's usually understanding... she's really changing, isn't she?" Kimi said to Tommy. "Let's hope not. Maybe her hormones are a little out of wack with her pregnancy..."

"Chuckie is angry, too. He never has anything good to say to me anymore. He's usually calling me a bitch, or something...it breaks my heart more and more each time..." I started to cry even harder.

I was bawling at this point. I just don't get what happened. It's like, Phil dies, and then all of a sudden, everybody's lives are all crazy and mixed up... Maybe Phil really was the glue that held us all together...because we certainly were falling apart without him there...