Hershel had demanded that all debates were put on hold until I was well enough to sit through them, both physically and emotionally. He had restitched my side, in hopes this time, I wouldn't put the stitches out and was in the process of hooking an IV to my arm when Beth walked past my cell with baby Judith in her arms. The infant was wailing loudly, her cries reminding me so much of the little girl I had just lost.

"Beth," Hershel scolded. He glanced at me, waiting to see how I took it. I surprised him by looking at Beth with hopeful eyes.

"Can I…," I cleared my throat. "Can I hold her?" I asked. Beth looked at her father before handing the crying child to me. I held Judith to my chest, Daryl watching from where he sat across the room. I pushed myself back on the bed, so my back was resting against the wall, as I sat Judith up so I could look into her eyes.

"You're gonna save us all one day, aren't you, lil' ass kicker?" I asked the baby, who seemed to calm down as soon as she was in my arms. "You're gonna be one hardass with all these people raising you," I cooed, kissing the baby's forehead. "Yes you are. You're one of the innocent ones left," I whispered. Tears well in my eyes as I looked at the baby. Her little dimples made my heart break into a million pieces. Beth hovered protectively, ready to snatch the baby from my grip at a moment's notice. The room tilted slightly when I took my eyes off the baby, but as soon as our gazes met again, everything seemed to come back into focus.

I looked at the little girl, my heart finally coming to terms with everything that had happened. I nodded for Beth to take the baby back before forcing myself to my feet.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Hershel scolded, his rough hand on my arm.

"I need to sort something out before it gets out of hand," I said softly. "I won't be gone for long."

"You shouldn't go anywhere alone right now, Harleigh," he scolded.

"I won't be going alone," I sighed. I looked around the common room and found who I was going to bring with me. "Michonne, I need a favor," I called down to her. She looked up and nodded, hurrying up the stairs, reaching me in record time.

"What's up?" she asked, her eyes icy as always.

"What did Rick do with Merle?" I asked, my voice hitching on his name.

"Rick didn't do nothing," Daryl spoke up. "I knocked his sorry ass out and left him in the farthest cell down there."

"Good," I nodded. "He should be coming to soon," I added. "Stay here and get some rest," I told my favorite person at that moment. "I'll be back soon."

"What're ya gon' do?" he asked hoarsely.

"I'm going to kick a dog while he's down," I shrugged. I grabbed my knife from where it sat on the table before starting down the stairs, my free hand pressed protectively on my wound. I was overly aware of how much it hurt to move. I was also aware that Michonne was carrying the IV bag, holding it above my head so it was still dripping correctly.

"You don't have to do this right now," she said gently as she followed me past the stares of the very people who forced me away in the first place. "It can wait till you're better, till everything's settled down."

"No it can't," I sighed, turning so I was facing her. "I know Merle. I'd like to think I know him better than most do. Merle's a lot of things, but he's not a monster. Even with lack of good judgment, he would never kill a child in cold blood."

"What're you suggesting then? We all saw him…you know…" she was careful with her words.

"He had to have had a reason. And I won't be able to rest until I know what that reason was," I said softly. Glenn glared at me, clearly having heard Merle's name.

We hurried past the group stopping only when we were right in front of Merle's cell. He was handcuffed to the bed, an unexplainable expression on his worn out face. I nodded at Michonne, who had gotten the key off Rick in passing. She unlocked the cell and waited for me to enter. I knelt beside the man I had trusted with my daughter, my entire body going cold just looking at him.

"Merle," I said softly, my tone flat. He blinked and looked at me, his blue eyes shining with sadness.

"I didn't wanna do it," he whispered. For the first time since meeting him, Merle seemed weaker than anyone I'd ever met. He seemed broken, like a dog that'd been kicked too many times. "I didn't wanna. I had to."

"Why?" I asked, my voice barely reaching a whisper. "Why Merle?"

"She was bit."

His words sent me reeling. Michonne placed a hand on my shoulder, her best attempt to keep me grounded. The floor slipped in and out of view and soon I found myself struggling to breathe. I vaguely heard Michonne call for Hershel.

"I'm okay," I breathed, forcing myself to focus on the task at hand. "How?" I asked Merle, my vision still foggy.

"When we broke the trees. I…I tried to get to her in time, I did, goddamnit, I did," Merle moaned, his voice hitching in his throat. "I didn't wanna do it."

"You…you didn't aim for the head," I whispered, trying to piece it all together. "You slit her throat."

"I couldn't…I couldn't, Leigh, I couldn't be the 'un to take her from you," he whispered. I felt his free hand reach for mine. I allowed it, as much as I hated the man, I allowed it. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"She was bit," I repeated the words. "She was bit. Just like Carol. Just like everyone else. They…he…" I couldn't focus on what I was saying. I felt sick. I felt utterly helpless.

Hershel reached us before I could completely express myself. He took one look at me and demanded I returned to my cell. Michonne pulled me to my feet, wrapping her arm around my waist, shooting a single look at Merle. A look that said what I couldn't. She led me away from the man that had murdered my daughter. Or saved her from dying a long and painful death. It all depended how you looked at it. In that moment, I saw nothing but a broken, beaten man who killed a child in cold blood. But I knew, deep down, as time wore on and the wounds began to heal, that I wouldn't see him that way. I knew in time, I'd be able to forgive him. Because he didn't murder my daughter. No. In a long and twisted way, it was Rick who had killed my daughter. Or the Governor. Or myself, for being so defensive, so protective of people I owed nothing to. But it wasn't Merle's fault. He did it to spare her the pain.

As soon as Michonne dropped me onto the bunk, the world fell out from under me. The shock set in and soon, I felt nothing but numb. There was no way to express what I was feeling any longer, because I felt nothing. Not when Daryl tried to coax me back to him. Not when Hershel demanded to know what was going on in my head. Not when Glenn threatened to put a bullet in Merle's skull. Nothing could shake the dark cloud that had fallen around me. Around us. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.

A/n - Don't hate meeee!

mrskaz453 - I never did say how Carol got bit though. ;) That comes in the next chapter, when the prison group explains what happened to Daryl, Michonne and Harleigh. I think you're going to like it a lot.

As for Merle killing Alana - it's explained in this chapter. It goes deeper in the next few chapters, as to what EXACTLY happened, but that's another chapter or two from now. :D Alana's death will ultimately bring Harleigh closer to Daryl too. And when -refuses to spoil- happens, it'll make for a better story. Alana was a pawn from the beginning, originally, it was supposed to be Harleigh's biological son, but I didn't think it fit as well. ;)

I want to thank everyone who's stuck around this long! I can promise you all this much, there is plenty more where this came from. The next few chapters include flashbacks to the attack, memories from several survivors points of view, and a lot of craziness. Who's going to fall off the deep end? You'll have to stick around to find out! (Also, semi slower updates soon - I work the next 5 nights, so bear with me! xD)