GINNY'S OTHER LIFE
Chapter 4
Ginny awoke several times during the night, each time being violently ill and vomiting until it felt like her insides were coming out of her throat.
When she awoke the last time, it was after midnight.. She felt worse than she could remember, and that was saying a lot. She had a wicked headache and her whole body ached. Her femininity felt like it had been torn from her body, and her inner thighs were caked with dried blood.
She downed two cups of black coffee, which she abhorred. It didn't help. She needed something for her head. She had no more hangover potion, she couldn't afford to buy it.
She reached into the cabinet in the loo and found a nearly full bottle of aspirin. She quickly popped three pills into her mouth, chewed then up and washed them down with water. The taste of the aspirin was terrible and always made her mouth shrivel up, but the pills dissolved more quickly by chewing them first.
She sat down and held the aspirin bottle in her shaking hands. She closed her eyes and thought for a moment. All her troubles were swirling around in her mind, and she felt like the whole world was closing in on her. She was bad; yes, she knew that. She was a bad person. She had done disgusting things. She had abused and desecrated her body beyond all reason. She was a slut, a whore, a scarlet woman straight out of the bible, but she couldn't stop herself. Her hormones were driving her up the wall and her sexual cravings needed to be sated. She had nothing else.
She needed to think. She needed to stop all this promiscuity that was slowly killing her. She needed to die, and soon. The quicker the better. That was the only way. No one would miss her. Not Harry, he ignored her for years. Not her friends. She didn't have any friends anyway. And certainly not her family. They disowned long ago, and would be glad when she was gone.
She looked down at the bottle of pills, and a tremor shook her body. She held the solution to all her problems right there in her hands. This would do it, she thought to herself. All I have to do is swallow the entire bottle of pills, wash them down with a glass of water, then lay down and go to sleep. A peaceful sleep forever.
She refilled the glass with water from the tap, then opened bottle and poured some of the little white pills into her shaking hand. She sat there looking at the pills and thinking about her so-called life. Where did I go wrong, she thought. God, what did I do to deserve this fate. I'm naked and all alone and played-out and sick and I don't know why. Why, dear God why.
She set the pills on the table and laid on her bed crying hysterically. She laid there for over an hour, crying and trying to figure it all out. Finally she rolled over and stared up at the cracked ceiling. And she prayed. She was about to take her life, about to kill herself, and she really wanted to. She wanted the pain and the misery to stop. She couldn't take it anymore. And this was the only way she could see to do it.
'God, if you're really there, please help me,' she prayed in her mind. 'Please guide me and help me to do the right thing. I know I've been bad. I know that I have done bad things, and I'm so sorry. But it has to end. This is the only way. Please help me God. Help me to do this.'
"Oh GOD, please help me," she cried out loud.
She laid there crying and holding her head in her hands. Her breathing was shallow and her chest started to hurt. She thought of Harry now. She wasn't mad at him anymore. She still loved him so much.
"Harry, I love you, please tell me what to do."
She said the words out loud, as if he were there. Then she repeated them, silently in her mind. A sharp pain flashed through her head, and suddenly she heard a voice, Harry's voice.
'I love you too Gin. I always have.'
She heard his voice so clearly in her mind.
'I'm sorry I left you after I killed Voldemort. But I just had to Gin. Someday I'll explain it to you, explain what it does to a person's soul when they kill someone. It's the same way if you kill yourself Gin. It will rip your soul to pieces. Please don't do this to yourself. For my sake Gin, please don't.'
'But Harry, I've done such bad things,' she answered him in her mind.
'I know Gin. I know what you have done, and I forgive you. And God forgives you. We all love you Gin. Please believe that.'
'But the ministry, my family Harry, they don't,,,,'
'The ministry has cleared your name Gin. Your family loves you, and they want you back. Ron and Hermione are out there right now looking for you. They were on your street just yesterday, and they are coming back today to find you. Look for them Gin. They love you and need you. Your whole family needs you Gin. Please live for them Gin, and for me. But mostly, live for yourself Gin. Don't do this.'
Ginny's mind was beginning to unscramble now. She asked God to help Harry tell her what to do. And he did.
'I won't Harry. I promise. Will I see you soon?'
'No Gin. Ron will explain it to you later. I have to leave now, my time is up. I love you Gin, always and forever. And thank you God for this gift.'
Ginny awoke hours later, still dreaming of her times with Harry. He talked to me, she thought to herself. He really talked to me. I don't know how, but I'll never forget it. I can't wait to see him. Maybe he will be with Ron and Hermione tomorrow. Or maybe it's today. Cripes, how long have I been asleep. I'd better get dressed and go get something to eat.
End chapter four