Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except for maybe the ACCFPV. I don't own
anything in the first chapter either. (I didn't know I had to put the
Disclaimer in myself, it was my first time doing it)******
Sorry if everything runs together. I type it out correctly, but when it uploads, it changes.*****
The manager turned towards Legolas as the elf enters the room. He turned red with rage. "What are you doing back?!"
Legolas smiles kindly. "I see you've had a hard day. Would you like to hear a joke?"
The manager raises an eyebrow. "My day was going GREAT until you pulled your stunt. Get out!"
Denial, Legolas thought. People often deny that they were having a bad day. "Don't be ashamed. We all have bad days from time to time. The joke goes like this: Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?" A pause. "Because he wanted to lay it on the line!!"
The manager glared. The joke was quite lost on him. "I've got one too. When the chicken crosses the road, why didn't he cross back? Because he didn't want to be a double-crosser!! You should follow his example. Get out of the building!!" The manager slams the door in Legolas's face.
"Well, that didn't go too well," Legolas said. The cameraman was still on the floor, catching his breath. "Do you know where I can take a shower?" Legolas demanded. "This sticky stuff is grose!"
"At the pool by the park," he gasped. "Down the road a few blocks." Legolas left.
The cameraman stood up. The rest of the Fellowship was entering the room. "Done already?" he asked.
"No, just taking a break," Gandalf spoke for all of them. He coughed a few times. I think I'm allergic to makeup powder, he thought as he started sniffling. "Do you know of a good place to hang out? And do you know where Legolas is?"
"Legolas went to take a shower at the pool by the park. The park is a nice place to take a break. It's by the beach, and there's pop and snack machines and everything. It's a few blocks down the road. Can I join you?"
"Of course," Gandalf answered. They all set off for the park.
"Hey!" Shouted Boromir. "Does anyone want to know how long two blocks are?"
Groans.
He ignores them. "It's 1,506 feet, or 502 yards, or 18,072 inches, or 4,518 hands, or 251 fathoms, or..."
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, ENOUGH!!" Gandalf roars. "This pertains to us how?"
"Well, we need to know how far to go." Boromir beams in pride at his knowledge.
They reach the park. Boromir starts shouting at the cameraman. "You said it was two blocks!! This is only 1.999998 blocks!!" Boromir rages. "Liar!" He storms off. "I'm going to tell the manager on you!"
Everyone is relieved that Boromir is gone. The hobbits head for the swingset. Aragorn searches for the fire alarm and buckets. Gandalf sits on a bench and smokes his pipe. Gimli sits on the teeter-totter. The cameraman heads off for the pool.
Sam gets bored of swinging. He goes to the other end of the teeter- totter. "NO!" Merry shouts, but it is too late. Sam jumps up and lands on the seat. Gimli shrieks and goes flying. He lands near the buckets Aragorn found. Gimli's head swirls. Through his blurred vision, he sees Legolas emerge from the showers dripping wet. Legolas carries a towel to the beach and lies on it. A bit of lipstick still stubbornly sticks to his hair.
Gimli mischieviously thinks of a plan. "Aragorn, can I borrow one of your buckets?"
Aragorn agrees. "Come straight back with it if a fire starts."
Gimli fills it with dirt. Then he put some water in it and mixes it with his bare hands. Then he sits casually by Legolas. Legolas falls asleep. He had a long day so far.
Gimli, with an evil grin on his face, sneaks up, then dumps the bucket on Legolas. Legolas wakes up in utter confusion. Then he sees his mud-streaked clothes and hair. His blood-curdling shriek made everyone start running. Aragorn runs and shouts, "Where's the fire??? Where's the fire????!?! Buckets everyone!!! Gimli!!"
Gandalf calmly remains on the bench. He sends up a cloud of smoke, which worries Aragorn even more. The hobbits walk up to the beach and giggle at the sight. Legolas is screaming. "I just took a shower!!!! I already had three today!! I didn't want to take another one!!"
Aragorn figures out that there's no fire, and continues his search for a fire alarm. The hobbits start a water fight, and try to get Legolas and Gimli to join them. Legolas pouts then heads back to the showers. Gimli refuses and works on reforging his axe. The cameraman finishes his swim, and Gandalf finishes smoking. He decides to test Aragorn's fire safety skills. He mutters a few words, and some leaves by the water catch fire.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FFIIIREEEEE!!!!!!!!! Everyone, don't panic. Buckets! Blankets! Gimli, hobbits, everyone!!" Aragorn dashes around with the buckets. "Only we can prevent forest fires!!! Charge!!!" He easily puts out the flames himself, but insists that everyone, including the amused cameraman, dump buckets on the spot.
"Laugh all you want!" shouts Aragorn. "You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you all are the same!"
The cameraman rolls his eyes. "Ok, our break is up. Where's Legolas?"
"He's in the shower."
"That's a bloody long shower," the cameraman says. Gimli just grins. "When he comes out, tell him that he has three positions being offered to him at the Annoying Commercial Center for Public Viewing. He can either be the class clown in Merry and Pip's class, or help with Boromir's class, or annoy Gandalf so he can demonstate how to control your temper."
Legolas came out, and had heard what the cameraman had said. Hmmm...working with Boromir sounds boring. Working with a potentially angry Gandalf sounds dangerous. "I think I'll go with the class clown," said Legolas.
"All right," said the cameraman. "Go with Merry and Pip, and you'll be set up."
They remain a few more minutes at the park, when they see Aragorn shouting frantically and running to the fire station. What is it this time? Gandalf wonders. He follows Aragorn to the station and eavesdrops. Sam walks up. "Hey, this is MY job!!" he protests.
"Do not interfere in the affairs of wizards for they are subtle and quick to anger," Gandalf replies. They listen, and here Aragorn hurriedly telling the person at the counter that there were no fire alarms at the beach, and how dangerous it was. "Only we can prevent forest fires!! We must uphold our honor!" he exclaimed, then walked out.
Meanwhile, Saruman was trying to lure Boromir out to join the rest of the Fellowship. "Here, you can measure the distance to the park, and I'll be your witness," said Saruman as his last resort.
Boromir cheered up right away. "I'll do that, if you let me do a commentary to explain why you didn't die either."
Saruman shrugs, then agrees, completely oblivious to what he'd be in for. Boromir gets so wrapped up in his math problem that he doesn't notice Saruman's evil smirk. Saruman put on a gas mask, and breaks his bottles on the sidewalk. Then he mutters a few words, and smoke rises from it. Cackling, he slunk away behind a bush to watch what developed.
Before long, Aragorn ran up to the smoke, shrieking. He calls for a gas mask, but no one has any. Except Saruman - he had no intention of sharing!! The rest of the Fellowship rushes up to Aragorn, to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. As they tried to calm Aragorn down, a visible change came over them. Gandalf becomes a pre-teen, Pippin grew a white beard, Legolas shrunk, etc. Saruman had made a potion that made the victim the exact opposite of who they were. Their personalities turned around 180 degrees! Saruman, satisfied that it had worked, went away.
Legolas's eyes went wide, and he shrieked. He ran back to the beach, tripping over every rock and crack on the sidewalk. He grabbed Aragorn's bucket, and filled it with water. He poured bucket after bucket into the ground and mixed it with his hands. Gleefully he immersed himself in the mudbath. Within seconds, he got so dirty that even his mother wouldn't have recognized him.
Aragorn, meanwhile, made a mad dash for the showers. EEEEEWWWW! He thought. My hair is oily and I'm all sweaty and dirty! Frantically he jumped into the shower, clothes and all.
Frodo took one look at Sam and charged at him. He wrestled with him, and would have strangled him, if the cameraman hadn't come to pull them apart.
Pippin looked at his watch and reasoned that he'd better get back to the ACCFPV before he got fired. He took Merry's hand, who was standing in a daze, and dragged him towards the building.
Boromir began reciting poetry, with lots of abstract references. Gandalf gazed at the tree as if he'd never seen one before. Then he hurried after Pip, and asked what do next. Pip took his hand and led him into the building.
Gimli, meanwhile, was running in a panic away from anything that looked unusual. When he saw Legolas, he nearly fainted in fright. Legolas looked like something that had arisen from the deeps of the world.
The rest of the day: Aragorn spent in the showers and bathrooms, doing his nails and hair. Legolas caked himself with dirt, then had it dry on him. He chased Gimli around, cackling gleefully at this friend's terror. Boromir was trying to define happiness. Gandalf showed that he now had an irritating amount of sly patience. Frodo was attacking everyone, and finally was shut in a room with the orcs and Uruk-hai, and beat them all up. Sam was now a charming, delightful host on a TV show. Learned professers gathered around Pippin and were amazed at his quick wit and source of knowledge. Merry stared stupidly at the wall and followed Pippin around. Saruman watched all this with delight!
**********I would write more in this story, but I ran out of ideas. I do have other stories that I might post soon. Thanks, Meregrin, for your review! Thanks for your help with the uploading - I forgot your name, sorry! But you know who you are. :) And if anyone else reviews in the meantime, many thanks to you!
Sorry if everything runs together. I type it out correctly, but when it uploads, it changes.*****
The manager turned towards Legolas as the elf enters the room. He turned red with rage. "What are you doing back?!"
Legolas smiles kindly. "I see you've had a hard day. Would you like to hear a joke?"
The manager raises an eyebrow. "My day was going GREAT until you pulled your stunt. Get out!"
Denial, Legolas thought. People often deny that they were having a bad day. "Don't be ashamed. We all have bad days from time to time. The joke goes like this: Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?" A pause. "Because he wanted to lay it on the line!!"
The manager glared. The joke was quite lost on him. "I've got one too. When the chicken crosses the road, why didn't he cross back? Because he didn't want to be a double-crosser!! You should follow his example. Get out of the building!!" The manager slams the door in Legolas's face.
"Well, that didn't go too well," Legolas said. The cameraman was still on the floor, catching his breath. "Do you know where I can take a shower?" Legolas demanded. "This sticky stuff is grose!"
"At the pool by the park," he gasped. "Down the road a few blocks." Legolas left.
The cameraman stood up. The rest of the Fellowship was entering the room. "Done already?" he asked.
"No, just taking a break," Gandalf spoke for all of them. He coughed a few times. I think I'm allergic to makeup powder, he thought as he started sniffling. "Do you know of a good place to hang out? And do you know where Legolas is?"
"Legolas went to take a shower at the pool by the park. The park is a nice place to take a break. It's by the beach, and there's pop and snack machines and everything. It's a few blocks down the road. Can I join you?"
"Of course," Gandalf answered. They all set off for the park.
"Hey!" Shouted Boromir. "Does anyone want to know how long two blocks are?"
Groans.
He ignores them. "It's 1,506 feet, or 502 yards, or 18,072 inches, or 4,518 hands, or 251 fathoms, or..."
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, ENOUGH!!" Gandalf roars. "This pertains to us how?"
"Well, we need to know how far to go." Boromir beams in pride at his knowledge.
They reach the park. Boromir starts shouting at the cameraman. "You said it was two blocks!! This is only 1.999998 blocks!!" Boromir rages. "Liar!" He storms off. "I'm going to tell the manager on you!"
Everyone is relieved that Boromir is gone. The hobbits head for the swingset. Aragorn searches for the fire alarm and buckets. Gandalf sits on a bench and smokes his pipe. Gimli sits on the teeter-totter. The cameraman heads off for the pool.
Sam gets bored of swinging. He goes to the other end of the teeter- totter. "NO!" Merry shouts, but it is too late. Sam jumps up and lands on the seat. Gimli shrieks and goes flying. He lands near the buckets Aragorn found. Gimli's head swirls. Through his blurred vision, he sees Legolas emerge from the showers dripping wet. Legolas carries a towel to the beach and lies on it. A bit of lipstick still stubbornly sticks to his hair.
Gimli mischieviously thinks of a plan. "Aragorn, can I borrow one of your buckets?"
Aragorn agrees. "Come straight back with it if a fire starts."
Gimli fills it with dirt. Then he put some water in it and mixes it with his bare hands. Then he sits casually by Legolas. Legolas falls asleep. He had a long day so far.
Gimli, with an evil grin on his face, sneaks up, then dumps the bucket on Legolas. Legolas wakes up in utter confusion. Then he sees his mud-streaked clothes and hair. His blood-curdling shriek made everyone start running. Aragorn runs and shouts, "Where's the fire??? Where's the fire????!?! Buckets everyone!!! Gimli!!"
Gandalf calmly remains on the bench. He sends up a cloud of smoke, which worries Aragorn even more. The hobbits walk up to the beach and giggle at the sight. Legolas is screaming. "I just took a shower!!!! I already had three today!! I didn't want to take another one!!"
Aragorn figures out that there's no fire, and continues his search for a fire alarm. The hobbits start a water fight, and try to get Legolas and Gimli to join them. Legolas pouts then heads back to the showers. Gimli refuses and works on reforging his axe. The cameraman finishes his swim, and Gandalf finishes smoking. He decides to test Aragorn's fire safety skills. He mutters a few words, and some leaves by the water catch fire.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FFIIIREEEEE!!!!!!!!! Everyone, don't panic. Buckets! Blankets! Gimli, hobbits, everyone!!" Aragorn dashes around with the buckets. "Only we can prevent forest fires!!! Charge!!!" He easily puts out the flames himself, but insists that everyone, including the amused cameraman, dump buckets on the spot.
"Laugh all you want!" shouts Aragorn. "You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you all are the same!"
The cameraman rolls his eyes. "Ok, our break is up. Where's Legolas?"
"He's in the shower."
"That's a bloody long shower," the cameraman says. Gimli just grins. "When he comes out, tell him that he has three positions being offered to him at the Annoying Commercial Center for Public Viewing. He can either be the class clown in Merry and Pip's class, or help with Boromir's class, or annoy Gandalf so he can demonstate how to control your temper."
Legolas came out, and had heard what the cameraman had said. Hmmm...working with Boromir sounds boring. Working with a potentially angry Gandalf sounds dangerous. "I think I'll go with the class clown," said Legolas.
"All right," said the cameraman. "Go with Merry and Pip, and you'll be set up."
They remain a few more minutes at the park, when they see Aragorn shouting frantically and running to the fire station. What is it this time? Gandalf wonders. He follows Aragorn to the station and eavesdrops. Sam walks up. "Hey, this is MY job!!" he protests.
"Do not interfere in the affairs of wizards for they are subtle and quick to anger," Gandalf replies. They listen, and here Aragorn hurriedly telling the person at the counter that there were no fire alarms at the beach, and how dangerous it was. "Only we can prevent forest fires!! We must uphold our honor!" he exclaimed, then walked out.
Meanwhile, Saruman was trying to lure Boromir out to join the rest of the Fellowship. "Here, you can measure the distance to the park, and I'll be your witness," said Saruman as his last resort.
Boromir cheered up right away. "I'll do that, if you let me do a commentary to explain why you didn't die either."
Saruman shrugs, then agrees, completely oblivious to what he'd be in for. Boromir gets so wrapped up in his math problem that he doesn't notice Saruman's evil smirk. Saruman put on a gas mask, and breaks his bottles on the sidewalk. Then he mutters a few words, and smoke rises from it. Cackling, he slunk away behind a bush to watch what developed.
Before long, Aragorn ran up to the smoke, shrieking. He calls for a gas mask, but no one has any. Except Saruman - he had no intention of sharing!! The rest of the Fellowship rushes up to Aragorn, to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. As they tried to calm Aragorn down, a visible change came over them. Gandalf becomes a pre-teen, Pippin grew a white beard, Legolas shrunk, etc. Saruman had made a potion that made the victim the exact opposite of who they were. Their personalities turned around 180 degrees! Saruman, satisfied that it had worked, went away.
Legolas's eyes went wide, and he shrieked. He ran back to the beach, tripping over every rock and crack on the sidewalk. He grabbed Aragorn's bucket, and filled it with water. He poured bucket after bucket into the ground and mixed it with his hands. Gleefully he immersed himself in the mudbath. Within seconds, he got so dirty that even his mother wouldn't have recognized him.
Aragorn, meanwhile, made a mad dash for the showers. EEEEEWWWW! He thought. My hair is oily and I'm all sweaty and dirty! Frantically he jumped into the shower, clothes and all.
Frodo took one look at Sam and charged at him. He wrestled with him, and would have strangled him, if the cameraman hadn't come to pull them apart.
Pippin looked at his watch and reasoned that he'd better get back to the ACCFPV before he got fired. He took Merry's hand, who was standing in a daze, and dragged him towards the building.
Boromir began reciting poetry, with lots of abstract references. Gandalf gazed at the tree as if he'd never seen one before. Then he hurried after Pip, and asked what do next. Pip took his hand and led him into the building.
Gimli, meanwhile, was running in a panic away from anything that looked unusual. When he saw Legolas, he nearly fainted in fright. Legolas looked like something that had arisen from the deeps of the world.
The rest of the day: Aragorn spent in the showers and bathrooms, doing his nails and hair. Legolas caked himself with dirt, then had it dry on him. He chased Gimli around, cackling gleefully at this friend's terror. Boromir was trying to define happiness. Gandalf showed that he now had an irritating amount of sly patience. Frodo was attacking everyone, and finally was shut in a room with the orcs and Uruk-hai, and beat them all up. Sam was now a charming, delightful host on a TV show. Learned professers gathered around Pippin and were amazed at his quick wit and source of knowledge. Merry stared stupidly at the wall and followed Pippin around. Saruman watched all this with delight!
**********I would write more in this story, but I ran out of ideas. I do have other stories that I might post soon. Thanks, Meregrin, for your review! Thanks for your help with the uploading - I forgot your name, sorry! But you know who you are. :) And if anyone else reviews in the meantime, many thanks to you!