… Still no pwp, or even just a sex scene in this chapter! I'm so bad… XD You poor things will have to wait for the explicit stuff! Hope this chap will still encourage you to keep reading though.
Chapter 2 - Slowly but surely
Zack couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it. He had held Cloud so close… so close he'd felt every change in his heartbeat. The fresh scent characteristic of a just-taken shower had reached his nose… and he only managed with great difficulty to keep mental images of the blonde under the shower from invading his mind. He would've been so embarrassed to start nose-bleeding or to have a hard-on. He was lucky to have such control over his body. Well, his job did require it.
He realized a while ago that he was attracted to cadet Strife. He would have been happy just being a friend, but since the blonde really looked sincere in wanting to take it further… "just a friend" wouldn't be satisfying anymore. Zack would definitely watch his moves though; he wouldn't do anything to compromise this. He'd already been bold enough… He'd been really scared for a moment. He hoped nobody would notice anything, or else it was totally doomed. And he knew the General would have their heads.
xXxXxXxXxXx
A few days later, it was as though nothing had happened. The training went on as usual, and when the two soldiers met in the hallways it was just like before, a salute and a greeting. Zack was really getting nervous. Did the blonde just decide to forget about it? He didn't want to ask, didn't want to push it; he'd agreed not to hurry stuff, and Zack Fair kept his promises. For his part, Cloud was having a real whole lot of trouble doing his stuff as usual. He wanted to take it further, but… he didn't feel ready for it.
It was stupid to say, but he thought he'd mess up everything even if they just … kissed. He'd never kissed anyone before, and even though he had a reasonable idea as to what to do, what it implied, he couldn't help but be stressed out of his mind. Zack seemed to really love him, and those feelings mustn't have appeared in a manner of a few minutes… Was he gonna meet the older soldier's expectations? Because the man surely had lots of them… Damn, why was life so complicated?
Finally, after nearly a week, the blonde just couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to feel those strong arms around him again, so badly… and every time he thought about the two of them kissing, he'd get this fluttering-butterflies feeling in his stomach… the good kind. He decided that going out with a guy couldn't be all that bad… In fact it was probably better than being with a girl. At least there was no chance of either of them being pregnant… As he thought about this, though, he freaked. One of them would have to play the girl part, surely… Why did he have the feeling that he would play that part? Then what was expected from him? He didn't consider himself as submissive… but somehow he couldn't imagine being dominant with Zack either… Ah and so what? He'd just have to adjust.
That night, he left his dorm room and headed for the outdoors, walking to his favourite spot by the cliff, and then he leaned back against a tree, tilting his head back, closing his eyes and sighing. He needed to cool off before going to knock on the door of Zack's apartments… As the minutes passed, though, he just grew more and more stressed. He couldn't… he couldn't bring himself to walk back to the complex and just go see him.
But after maybe half an hour of being outside, he knew he wouldn't have to do that, as he heard the man's footsteps approaching. His heart jumped and he struggled not to show just how anxious he was…
- "Hey" Zack said in a low voice and with a little smile as he walked up to him.
- "Hey" Cloud replied in a little voice.
He had a lot of trouble sustaining the man's burning stare, and eventually he just shifted his eyes sideways… He wanted to wrap his arms so badly around the first-class soldier's neck, but he had no idea how to bring it. But Zack seemed to have one. He took a few steps forwards until he was just inches away from Cloud, who was still leaning back against the tree and had to suppress a gasp of stress and surprise. The older man reached for his hands and brought them slowly up to his shoulders, placing them there and tentatively getting closer to the blonde.
Feeling him this close, Cloud didn't want to hold back anymore, so he quickly wrapped his arms around the soldier's neck, pulling him close and hugging him, sighing as he experienced that blissful feeling again. He felt the man wrap his own arms around his waist. Zack was being really careful not to press him against the tree or anything, for fear the blonde would feel trapped and freak out. But for now, that didn't seem to be the case.
- "That took a while" Zack teased, letting out a little laugh.
Had the man not laughed, Cloud would not have tolerated the comment… but, well, at the moment he was glad Zack still managed to take it with humour, so he smiled faintly and held on even tighter to him.
- "I was beginning to think I really had freaked you out" the older man said, still in a light voice.
The blonde didn't answer, simply cause he had no idea what he should answer to this… if he should answer at all. After a while, the dark-haired soldier still hadn't given any hint that he wanted a reply, so he didn't give it much more thought. He just kept his arms tightly wrapped around the older soldier's neck as Zack did the same around his waist.
- "You seem a little uneasy… I'm right, ne?" the dark-haired man asked.
Cloud snorted at this. How could he not be? It was clearly gonna end in a kiss, and he still didn't know what to do, if he'd be good enough, if he really wanted it at all… Wait, yes, he wanted it. He wanted it bad… but it didn't keep him from getting all nervous. Zack pushed back a little and Cloud loosened his hold on him, and he raised his eyes up to meet Zack's deep and clear ones.
- "You're so funny" the man said with a large smile.
The blonde felt his cheeks redden and he rolled his eyes, then looked away. Great, Zack was already making fun of him… well, it was to be expected.
- "You're always so sure about everything" the older soldier continued, still smiling, bringing a hand up slowly to have it rest against the side of Cloud's neck to caress the skin there with his thumb. "You're a great fighter because of that, you never hesitate. At times you're even a little too impulsive. And now, you're all jittery and insecure and everything… It's like you have two personalities, it's kinda weird."
After a short while, Cloud still didn't look back at him, so Zack brought his hand up to the blonde's cheek and gently turned his head sideways, and Cloud reluctantly looked up at him.
- "You don't have to be nervous" the dark-haired man told him. "This is much easier than any kind of combat, and I know you're really good at fighting."
The blonde kept staring at him without a single change of expression on his face, even though he could feel his stomach fill once more with those damned hyperactive butterflies…
- "You'll see, trust me" Zack finally said.
- "I… I don't…" Cloud tried to say, unable to think of a way to bring up that he'd never kissed, even though Zack had clearly guessed it already.
- "Tsst" the older soldier said, placing a finger against the blonde's lips and smiling. "Just close your eyes and go with the flow."
- "But-"
- "I won't rush."
The younger soldier gulped and felt a consuming heat wave travel all over his body as Zack slowly got closer to him and his heart started beating wildly. He finally closed his eyes and simply held on to the man's shoulders, then waited for it. He could faintly feel the man's warm breath waft over his face… and then he felt Zack's lips softly press against his. He felt a little shiver run up his spine… It really was nice, having Zack this close to him, holding him in his arms and kissing him gently… He was still stressed though. So far it was easy, but it surely didn't stop there, right?
After a short moment, the older man started slowly moving his lips against the blonde's, and Cloud timidly tried to mimic his moves, feeling his body gradually become less and less tense. It didn't take too long before he found himself comfortable kissing his mentor, and he wrapped his arms back around the man's neck. He felt one of Zack's hands caress his back as it moved up to rest between his shoulders for a while, then went up still and the man started combing his fingers through his spiky hair. He didn't know how long they stayed like that, kissing gently, but when Zack pulled back, Cloud thought it hadn't been long enough. The man smiled warmly at him, and the blonde found himself returning the smile.
- "So?" the older soldier asked.
Seeing that Cloud was too shy to answer, he continued.
- "I thought it was hot" he said with a little laugh.
The blonde's smile widened and he faintly nodded, then he hugged Zack again. If he'd known it would be like that, he'd never have waited almost a week to take it further. The older man's arms around him, his scent, his warmth… it was so comforting… It did compensate for home. He didn't feel the need to go back home as much now.
- "You have no idea how much I've wanted this…" Zack whispered in his ear, cheek pressing against his.
Cloud felt his body shiver again at those simple words, and the older soldier slowly pushed back so they were looking at each other straight in the eyes.
- "I'll still stop if you ask me to, ok?" the man said with a little smile.
The blonde quickly nodded and he felt his heartbeat speed up again. He closed his eyes right away and was the one to initiate the kiss this time, since he felt more confident now. Zack was the one to follow Cloud's lead for a moment, their lips shifting against each other a little faster than before, and then the dark-haired man decided to be a little bolder. He shortly pressed his lips harder against the blonde's, a hand behind Cloud's head, and then he slipped his tongue between his lips and tentatively licked the younger soldier's. He felt the blonde shudder and heard him gasp, so he resisted the urge to ram his tongue inside Cloud's mouth and instead simply kept giving very small, enticing licks on his lips.
It took a little while, but the blonde relaxed again and began experimenting, shyly and tentatively letting the tip of his tongue slip against Zack's. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, his whole body was warming up and he had trouble thinking straight as the older soldier played with his tongue… Cloud decided that kissing was nice, and was easy after all. He built up some courage and then stuck his tongue out a little more, his moves more assured now, and Zack instantly seized the opportunity to deepen their kiss as much as he could, crushing their lips together passionately. The younger soldier wrapped his arms tightly around the man's neck, placing a hand behind his neck like Zack was doing.
They kissed with lips, teeth and tongue, and they held on tightly to each other, caressing each other's hair not so gently… They were breathing hard and fast, and Cloud's heart beat so much faster when he became conscious of just how fast Zack's heart was beating… The blonde thought he mustn't be so bad after all… A moment later, their rhythm slowed down and they eventually parted, both looking straight at each other and still panting. The older soldier was the one to break the silence first.
- "Wow" he said with a large smile.
The blonde let out a little laugh and rested his forehead on the man's shoulders, lowering his arms and then slipping them under Zack's to wrap them around his waist. The black-haired man wrapped his arms around the young soldier's shoulders, resting his cheek on top of the blonde's head.
- "I guess it's official now" Zack said in a playful voice.
- "What?" asked Cloud.
The older soldier couldn't suppress a laugh. The young cadet could be so innocent at times… He'd have to say it as it was, openly, directly, with simple words… and a smirk.
- "We're together, ne? As in, dating. A couple. Boyfr-"
- "Alright, alright!" the blonde said, rolling his eyes, but smiling faintly. "I got it."
- "Well?"
- "Well what?"
- "That fine with you?"
Cloud smiled to himself and nodded, tightening his hug a little. It still didn't all quite add up in his mind. Zack was a man, he himself didn't consider he was of the submissive kind, he was of the proud type, yet he liked the feeling of protection that this proximity provided him with… He did know he felt good. He closed his eyes and sighed, and the dark-haired man kissed his hair.
- "You can't imagine how happy that makes me…" Zack whispered.
It kinda freaked Cloud, all it implied… but it didn't take long before he shook off the feeling. After all, if Zack was happy, it really meant he wasn't bad. And he had to admit he was happy too.
- "Um, since when… you know…" the blonde asked, trying to sound casual even though he was kind of embarrassed.
- "A little while after meeting you" Zack said after a sigh.
He let go of Cloud and then sat down on the grass, taking the blonde's hand and silently asking him to sit too, which he did. And he didn't let go of the older soldier's hand.
- "I'll be really honest, I have no idea when it happened" Zack continued, running his free hand through his hair. "I guess it just developed over time, and then I realized it."
Yeah, that made sense. Cloud thought his mentor was really good; he had hidden it well, and the blonde not once thought the man loved him. Well, not that way at any rate. Of course he knew he had always had a more "privileged" relationship than the other cadets with the first-class soldier, but he'd just taken it as them having things in common, like the type of place where they grew up, their ambitions and dreams… Anyway, it didn't really change much how he looked at Zack even now that he knew. The older soldier brought his free hand to Cloud's cheek, smiling and caressing his skin, and the blonde returned the smile.
- "I really love you" the dark-haired man said.
Seeing that the younger soldier didn't know how to reply to this, he continued.
- "You don't need to say anything, ya know? I want it to be sincere and certain when you say that you love me too, or that you're not interested."
- "Ok" the blonde answered with a little smile.
- "It's alright too if… you just want to be with me as a means of distraction…"
- "No, it's not like that!"
- "Alright" Zack said, smiling more widely now.
- "I guess…" Cloud began saying, lowering his eyes and hoping it was too dark outside for the man to see his blushing cheeks. "I guess if I didn't love you at least a little I wouldn't allow you to do that…"
Zack raised the blonde's head, placing his hand under his chin, and the cadet saw the most charming, almost dreamy look on the first-class soldier's face... and then it changed to a huge winning grin with shining teeth.
- "I'm so irresistible!" Zack said in a playful and lively voice.
Cloud rolled his eyes again. How to ruin a nearly romantic moment in three easy steps...
- "Heh, come on, just kidding, Spike..."
The older soldier slowly bent towards the blonde, his Mr Charming face returning.
- "You, though, now you are pretty irresistible..." he said in a low, husky voice.
Cloud shivered just from the tone of his voice, and he closed his eyes when Zack kissed him, slowly, softly, barely letting his lips graze the blonde's.
- "You're... so handsome..." he whispered through the kiss.
- "Pfft" the younger soldier let out, turning his head away.
- "And a little innocent too..." Zack continued with a little smile as he kissed Cloud's cheek. "Don't tell me you've never seen people staring at you, or heard them talk about you the way they do!"
Cloud snorted. He'd always thought of himself as being quite the joke for the other super muscled, super tall, super fast soldiers... He'd surely gotten stronger and fitter, but still... Of course he'd noticed the staring, and sure enough he'd seen the others whispering to each other with large smiles on their faces... laughing at him, for sure.
- "Come on, Cloud" the dark-haired soldier said, trying to get the blonde to look at him without success. "Do you really think I'm the only one who's had an eye on you? You wouldn't even believe the things I hear when patrolling the corridors and stuff..."
The blonde finally looked at him and, for a moment, didn't find a single thing to say. He was just about to tell him that he was just a joke to the others when Zack pulled him into his arms, caressing his hair and pressing his cheek against his own.
- "It enrages me, you can't even imagine how much" the man said in a low voice. "I think that's when it hit me that I love you; when I realized I acted like you were mine and it wasn't the case."
Cloud smiled faintly as he hugged the man back, and he wondered how tough it had been for Zack to keep it all to himself, to never show how he really felt... And it had apparently been going on for a while too. He'd had to hide his mixed emotions towards the man for less than a week and it had taken him all of his will not to show anything.
- "I'm still not yours" Cloud managed to say in a detached voice.
- "No, you're right. But I'm sold to you. So technically I am yours."
Cloud froze. That had been so, utterly, impossibly cheesy... Yet he thought... it was really nice to have it said like that. So typically Zack. After a moment, he realized the older soldier was smirking against his cheek... and the blonde let out a little laugh.
- "Damn you, Zack Fair."
The dark-haired man laughed too and then let go of the younger soldier to look at him and smile at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but Cloud simply dove in and crushed his lips against his, pushing his tongue inside Zack's mouth and pulling him even closer by placing a hand behind the man's head and an arm around his neck. The older soldier didn't waste a moment before replying to the kiss without holding back.
His heart was beating as fast as when he was fighting and he could feel the blonde's pulse accelerate too... Cloud couldn't understand what it was about such a simple thing as kissing that made it so wonderful, that warmed his whole body up and made him feel this good, but it wasn't really important after all. He liked it, and his mentor seemed to feel the same way, so it didn't matter much.
After a moment of wild kissing, the blonde felt Zack smirking as they kissed, so he pulled back and stared at him questioningly, panting slightly. For sole answer, the man looked down and then back at the young soldier again... and that's when Cloud realized he'd somehow ended up straddling the dark-haired man. He felt his cheeks instantly catch fire and he tried to get away, but Zack was holding him firmly in place, so needless to say it was useless.
- "Ah come on, stop being so embarrassed!" the older soldier said, laughing as he held on to the struggling blonde.
After a little while, Cloud stopped trying to get away, knowing it wouldn't work, and he held his head down, looking anywhere but at Zack.
- "Cloud?" the older man asked in a gentle voice, placing his hands on the blonde's cheeks. "Cloud..."
But the blonde just felt like disappearing into the grass or something... He couldn't believe he'd done that. Worse, it had been unconscious, instinctive.
- "If you tell me you don't like this, I'll let go of you. You know I will..." the first-class soldier said.
The younger soldier would have lied saying he didn't like it. He wasn't really mentally comfortable with this position, but his young body said otherwise... He felt a stirring in his lower regions and had to concentrate really hard on anything really non-stimulating to keep his body under control.
- "I think you've had a lot and enough for tonight" Zack finally said, kissing the blonde's forehead softly. "We have all the time we want to-"
- "Zack..." Cloud began saying in a low voice.
- "Yeah?" the man asked tentatively.
- "Stop talking to me like that."
- "... Like what?"
- "Like I'm... some kind of... of..."
The blonde sighed and looked up at his superior, gathering up some nerve to say what he wanted to say.
- "Like I'm some kind of delicate and virginal schoolgirl!"
There was a moment of silence, Cloud utterly embarrassed but glad he'd said it, and Zack simply stunned. It was very unusual for the cadet to speak openly like that about anything, even less about things like these. After a short while though, he burst out laughing.
- "Ok" he told the blonde. "I'll stop treating you like a delicate schoolgirl... but I'll keep treating you like the little virgin that you are!"
It would've been impossible for Cloud to be more embarrassed. He placed his hands on the older man's shoulders and tried pushing away from him, even if he knew it was useless.
- "Hey, Cloud! Cloud!"
Zack managed to pull the blonde into a tight embrace and he said in a low voice:
- "Don't be shy about it, that's actually something I like about you. You're not... going around and sleeping with anyone and everyone, unlike a good many cadets and soldiers..."
Yeah, Cloud too had always thought it was disgusting... He gulped and slowly wrapped his arms around the older soldier's neck.
- "I love you just the way you are" the man whispered, placing a soft kiss on the blonde's cheek.
It took a moment, but Cloud finally felt comfortable again. It didn't last long though, because Zack looked at his watch.
- "Damn, time's a bitch..." he sighed.
- "What time is it?" the blonde asked.
- "Three hours away from breakfast" Zack answered with a smile.
Wow, already 3 a.m... Cloud really hadn't seen the time pass by. He sighed and slowly stood up and his superior did the same afterwards.
- "Do you want to go back first?" the older soldier asked. "I'd hate myself if someone saw us together..."
- "Alright" Cloud answered with a little smile.
Zack grabbed his hand and took a step towards him, then leant in for a soft kiss, which the blonde gladly accepted. Then they parted and the dark-haired man whispered with a smile:
- " 'Night, Spike."
- "To you too" Cloud answered with a smile before turning back towards the training complex and his dorm room.
Zack waited a few minutes after he'd gotten out of sight to get back to his apartments... with a large smile on his face. Even if he had opened his big mouth and said stupid things he shouldn't have said, the blonde still had seemed, in the end, to be ok with it all. And the way he'd jumped on him for that kiss... Zack knew that as their relationship evolved, it would get tougher and tougher to stay in control of his actions and bodily responses. But he also was sure it would all be worth it. It already was, much more than he'd hoped for.
Yay! Cloud got a kiss! Kawaiiiii! lol Well, they're taking their time, aren't they? I swear there'll be something happening soon lol. Reviews plz, y'all, I love reading them!